Helpless

(Part 1 of 2)

By: Hope Danielle Parker

Disclaimer: I don't own the Pretender, never will. The song: Live Again belongs to Sevendust. I just love the song.

Author's Note: If this offense anyone, let me know and I will take it off and if I don't have all the facts right, please forgive me.

The Centre

Wednesday, 10:18 p.m.

Miss Parker walked up the stone steps of the Centre, just like she did every morning. Nothing was out of the ordinary. She, like always, was dressed in clothes that were designed to intimidate and attract the attention of men. She reached the large doors to the entrance and when she reached out to grab the handles, she was thrown back, as an explosion coursed through the lobby.

The building then began to crumble and collapse, burying Parker and all the innocent people that were in the lobby. The woman was knocked unconscious as the debris began to fall. The rest of the people in the other wings of the Centre felt the explosion. They wondered towards the lobby, to find it destroyed and engulfed in flames. Among the on lookers, were Sydney and Broots.

"My God…" Sydney said, bringing his hand to his mouth.

Broots blinked as he came to a sudden realization. "Where's Miss Parker? She always enters the building by ten…Do you think she could be trapped under there?"

The older man gazed down at him, then looked up as he heard sirens approaching. "I don't know, Broots. I don't know."

Friday, 5:53 p.m.

Parker awoke not knowing where she was. She looked around seeing deep maroon walls. Instantly, she knew she wasn't in a hospital. Where the hell am I? She thought, panicking slightly. She struggled to sit up, but found herself unable to move.

"Shit." She cursed out loud.

"You're awake." A very familiar voice said off to her right.

"Well, they say you're a genius." Parker muttered sarcastically, "How did you get me here?"

"I was one of the people that were going through the ruins of the Centre lobby. I was in full fire-fighting gear and nobody could tell it was me and nobody asked questions." The Pretender replied.

"Oh." She looked down at herself, finding that she was still clothed in the clothes she had been wearing when the lobby exploded.

"I didn't think you'd be happy if I changed your clothes while you were unconscious." Jarod explained.

"You were right about that." Said Parker, "What happened to me? Why can't I move?"

"You bruised your spinal cord. There's a lot of swelling and pressure near where the vertebrae is." Answered the man quietly.

"So I'm paralyzed?"

"Temporality in your legs, yes."

Parker exhaled slowly. She didn't like the sound of that. It meant she was helpless. I'm a Parker. I'm never helpless. She thought.

But you are. A voice in the back of her head whispered, You're helpless and there is nothing you can do about it.

Unwanted tears stung her eyes. She couldn't cry. Tears signified weakness. Unwanted as they were, the tears fell down her cheeks. Jarod walked over to her and sat down on the bed.

He gently touched her cheek, wiping away the tears. He didn't see her cry often. She moved her head away from his touch. The man sighed deeply. She was stubborn, that Parker. He wished that she would stop being so stubborn.

But that's like telling the sun to stop shining. He mused as he moved his hand away.

"Penny for your thoughts, Michealina." Jarod said softly.

She glared at him. "Don't call me that. No one's allowed to call me that."

"Then why did you tell me it in the first place?" he asked, referring to when they were children.

"I don't know." She answered wearily.

He knew better than that, but he didn't push it. Instead, he changed the subject.

"Would you like anything?"

"A nice stiff drink." Was her answer.

"That's not good for your ulcer."

"I don't give a damn."

"I know that." He said, "Anything else?"

"A shower and clean clothes."

"How about a bath and clean clothes?"

"Fine."

Jarod stood and went to the tiny bathroom. Looking at the tub, then looking back at Parker, he shook his head. Her legs were way to long for the tub and with them being paralyzed weren't going to help. He went back to her.

"What is it?" she demanded.

"The tub is too small. And since your legs are paralyzed, you can't fold them."

Parker grumbled something he couldn't understand, then she sighed. "Now what?"

"I'm gonna get take you somewhere else."

"Like the Centre renewal wing?" she said a bit sarcastically.

"To my house, actually.

"You have a house?"

"Yep."

Jarod crossed the room and moved something over to the bed. It took her a few seconds to realize that the object was a wheelchair.

"When did you get that?" she asked.

"While you were unconscious, I did a few tests on you. When I discovered you were paralyzed, I bought it."

"What kind of tests did you do on me?" she demanded.

Ignoring her question, he picked her up. The sudden motion startled Parker. Automatically, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Jarod then placed her gently in the wheelchair. Once seated, she sighed, wondering if she would ever get use to the chair.

"This is just a foldable wheelchair." He told her, "I'll get you a better one."

"You don't have to."

"I know that, but you're use to the finer things in life."

"As opposed to?"

"Me. Since I grew up inside the Centre, I enjoy the simpler things in life."

She then watched as he gathered the few things he had scattered on the tiny desk in the corner, and put them in a duffel bag. He was lucky to have everything he needed in a duffel. She, on the other hand, would require two large suitcases. When he was finished, he shouldered the duffel and wheeled her towards the door. He then opened the door and wheeled her outside, then shut the door behind him.

Jarod wheeled Parker outside, to a sleek black car that had been, no doubt, purchased with some of the money he had stolen from numerous Centre back accounts. He opened the passenger side door, turned and picked her up, then placed her in the seat.

In a few quick movements, the man folded the chair, opened up a back seat door and put the chair inside. Jarod made his way around the back of the car and approached the driver side. He opened the door, got in and shut the door.

Casting a quick glance towards Miss Parker, he put on his seatbelt and started the car. Instantly, rock music began playing through the speakers.

Can't see me, you feel me

Want me, you'll find me

I'll be your everything

Will you call

You need me more and more

When you fall

7:06 p.m.

Jarod and Parker were in the master bedroom of his spacious and exquisite two-story home. Parker sat on the bed and watched as Jarod went into the bathroom. She sighed as she heard the running water. When he re-entered the room, he noticed the drained look on her face.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm so tired. I don't know if I will be able to stay awake."

"I could help you, if you want."

She gave him an unreadable look.

"We're both grown adults, there's nothing to be ashamed of." He continued.

She chewed her bottom lip. "I don't know."

"Come on, Parker, you can trust me."

"I know that…" she sighed, "Will you help me, Jarod?"

He nodded and walked over to her and knelt down beside the bed. He hesitantly reached up and began to unbutton her shirt. After he undid all of the buttons, he slid the shirt from her shoulders. Her chest and upper shoulders were covered with small cuts and bruises. He decided it would be best to remove her bra and panties last.

The Pretender gently moved her legs so they were on the bed. He then urged her torso down until she was lying on the bed. Jarod unbuttoned her pants and unzipped the zipper, then skimmed them down her legs. The woman uttered a soft cry.

"What is it?" he asked.

Tears, still undesired, filled her eyes. "I couldn't feel that... I could see you do that, but I couldn't feel it!"

He sighed and touched her cheek. "It will take a while, but you will be able to walk and feel again. And I'm going to be here to help you."

She let him wipe away the tears that fell and nodded slowly. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the master bathroom. He set her on the floor and shut off the water. Jarod them knelt beside her and searched her eyes.

"Are you sure that you're okay with this?"

She nodded and uttered three words she never thought she would say to him: "I trust you."

He smiled weakly. "Those are the words I've longed to hear." He muttered.

He reached behind her and unhooked her bra, then slid the garment down her arms. He exhaled slowly before he lifted her waist and removed her panties. I have never felt so self-conscious in my life. She thought as Jarod picked her up and placed her in the enormous bathtub. She was happy to find that he had filled the water with bubble bath.

The bubbles covered her nakedness, which made her feel a whole lot better. Jarod reached over her and grabbed the shampoo and a pitcher type glass. He went to the faucet and filled with pitcher full of water. The man then knelt behind where Parker was. He inched her forward.

"Tilt you head back and close your eyes." Instructed the Pretender.

The woman did just that and had water dumped on her head. She wiped away some water out of her eyes and smiled as Jarod began to wash her hair. It felt good and she was beginning to relax. Jarod was humming softly and she realized that she had never heard him hum before; he sounded good. It had been a good song, it was called: Live Again by a group called Sevendust.

After her bath, Parker was sitting on the bed, wearing on of Jarod's shirts. It was big on her, but it was comfortable. Jarod was on the phone with somebody, possibly his father or Sydney. He ended the conversation and hung up the phone, tossing it carelessly onto the bed. He went to the bed and sat down next to her.

"Who were you talking to?" she asked.

"Joshua."

"Who's Joshua?"

"My clone."

"Oh." She yawned.

"Tired?"

She nodded and Jarod scooted her up towards the pillows. He lifted her body and moved her under the covers. Parker watched as Jarod removed his shirt and pants, then crossed the room and shut off the light before he got into the bed beside her.

"Good night, Miss Parker." He whispered.

"Good night, Jarod." she murmured.

Saturday, 10:17 a.m.

Parker awoke slowly. She felt a warm presence close to her. Inwardly, she smiled. Outwardly, she turned her head and saw Jarod, asleep on his stomach. She would've never imagined that she would actually wake up in bed with him.

Holding in a chuckle, she looked up at the ceiling. How am I going to handle this? She wondered sobering up her emotions. She felt Jarod's hand slid around her stomach and she sighed and decided to do what her first instinct told her; move his hand.

Jarod made a noise then slowly came into consciousness. She looked at him and he smiled slowly.

"Morning." He murmured.

"Morning." She echoed.

The Pretender stretched and got out of bed. Parker sat up and watched Jarod go to his closet and pulled out a white beater and a pair of baggy black pants.

"I'm going to take a quick shower." He told her, "Yell if you need me."

With that he went into the bathroom, but left the door open a crack. She sighed as the shower started. She yawned and closed her eyes. Reopening them, she tried to lift her left leg. Nothing. She then tried the right and again got nothing.

Tears filled her eyes and spilt over her lower lids, flowing in streams down her cheeks. She then hit her right thigh. Nothing. Her right leg. Nothing.

Parker began to sob heart brokenly. The shower stopped. She stopped her sobs and wiped her eyes. She didn't want Jarod to see her cry. It was bad enough he had seen her do it before.

Jarod, fully dressed, exited the bathroom. He immediately noticed the tear tracks on her cheeks and went to her side.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly.

"What the hell do you think?" she cried the tears threatening to come again.

He cupped her cheek with his hand. "You will be able to walk again. This won't be forever."

"I know, I know, but I feel so…so…weak, so helpless."

He sighed softly. "That's a common emotion to feel."

"Not for me, Jarod. It isn't."

"I know."

"Some how, I don't think you do." She whispered quietly.

12:06 p.m.

Parker was sitting in her wheelchair, out on the large back porch. She was deep in thought when Jarod appeared behind her.

"We have visitors." He told her as he wheeled her towards the sliding glass door.

"Who?" asked the woman.

"You'll see." Answered the Pretender opening the door and wheeling her inside.

He wheeled her through the kitchen and into the living room. When she saw who the guests were, she couldn't help but smile.

"Sydney, Broots." She said happily, "What are you doing here?"

The two men each gave her a hug. Usually, she would've pushed them away, but she was too happy to see them.

"Jarod called us a little while ago and told us you were with him." Answered Sydney.

"We were relieve to find out that you were alive." Supplied Broots, "We were really worried about you when we couldn't find you."

"How are you feeling?" asked the psychologist.

"I'm…dealing."

He nodded thoughtfully, then smiled. "And you must be getting along with Jarod because you haven't tried to shoot him."

The Pretender smiled. "She's beginning to admit she trusts me."

"Am not." She immediately followed.

Jarod mouthed She's lying, to Sydney, who smiled and shook his head.

The group began talking about what was going on with the Centre, about what they thought happened and why, and about how the search for Jarod's mother was going. At one point, Sydney pulled Jarod away into the kitchen. Once out of earshot, Sydney's face grew concerned.

"How long do you think she will be paralyzed?" he asked.

"I don't know. It will be a while, though."

"How is she holding up?"

Jarod sighed. "Not to good. She feels helpless. I've seen her cry twice." He shook his head, "She doesn't like this at all."

"How comfortable is she feeling with you helping her?"

The genius smiled. "She's pretty comfortable. She told me she trusts me… I had to help her take a bath."

Sydney nodded. "Ah. I guess she's beginning to realize that she will always have you to rely on."

"I hope so."

The two men went back into the living room and found Miss Parker and Broots having a conversation about his daughter, Debbie. Sydney looked at his watch.

"I'd hate to interrupt, but we really should be heading back now, Broots." He said.

"Okay, Syd." Broots said.

He then leaned over and gave Parker a hug and said: "Good-bye."

After him, Sydney gave her a hug and said his good-bye.

Jarod walked the two men to the door. As Sydney and Broots left the house, Sydney turned to his Pretender.

"Let us know if anything happens." He said.

"Of course, Sydney." Answered Jarod with a warm smile.

He then watched as Sydney and Broots drove away. Sighing softly, he went back inside. Inside the living room, Parker sighed.

"Are you hungry, Miss Parker?" asked Jarod as he walked to her.

"Not really."

"Come on, Parker. You haven't eaten anything in four days."

Her eyes grew wide. "Has it really been that long?"

"Yes."

Her stomach growled suddenly. "I guess I am hungry." She smiled.

Jarod wheeled her into the kitchen and made her lunch. As they ate, Parker's mind wandered to the time they had spent on the Island of Carthis and how close they had been to kissing. She also remembered when Jarod tried to hold her hands in the limo as they waited to board a Centre jet, in an effort to convince her that she could change the way their story was ending. She remembered the hurt look in his eyes as she shoved his hands away. She now felt suddenly horrible about how she acted towards him, since he was always the one person that was with her, giving her support as she went through the hardest times of her life.

"What are you thinking about?" his voice broke through her thoughts.

"Nothing…" she answered not wanting to tell him what she had been thinking, out of fear she would sound all mushy.

Jarod didn't pressure her. Instead, he went to the freezer and got out some ice cream. He then got a spoon from the silverware drawer and sat back down. He smiled as he began eating the frozen delight. Mmm… ice cream is good. He thought.

Around two o'clock, Parker lay in Jarod's bed, watching some TV show. It was a soap opera called Passions. In it the special effects were cheesy and the plot was weird, but overall it was an entertaining thing to watch. It was helping cure her boredom. The Pretender entered the room, glanced at the TV, watched for a few seconds, then looked at Parker.

"What the hell are you watching?" he asked with a laugh.

She shrugged. "It was on, so I decided to watch it. It's weird, but it's okay."

He smiled, shook his head, and left the room. Parker turned her focus back to the show. After Passions, she had immediately fallen asleep.

5:44 p.m.

Jarod was downstairs, in his office, typing on his Haliburton. He was writing another novel. This time, it was going to be about Miss Parker and his journey on the Island of Carthis. After a while, he took a break and went upstairs to check on Parker.

He found her still asleep, looking very much like an angel, although he would never tell her that. Smiling to himself, he went downstairs, and returned to his office. This time, he opened one of the desk drawers, and pulled out a DSA. He popped it into the computer and watched as disk began to play.

"I've finished my simulation, Sydney." Eleven year old Jarod announced.

"Very good, Jarod." His mentor said sounding proud, "And you set a new record."

The camera panned upward, showing that they weren't the only ones in the office. Eleven year old Miss Parker stood atop the stair case, watching quietly as Jarod had worked on his SIM. She walked down the stairs, causing both Sydney and Jarod to look over at her.

"Well, hello, Miss Parker." Sydney said politely, "How are you today?"

"Hi, Sydney." Answered the girl, "I'm good. Can Jarod and I play for a little while?"

"Of course." Said the man, "If you'll excuse me, I have some paperwork to finish."

With that he left the room. The two children shared a smile.

"Hey Jarod." Little Miss Parker said, "Have you ever heard of a game called hide-and-go-seek?"

The Pretender shook his head.

The girl smiled. "Do you want me to teach you?"

The boy nodded.

Before Jarod could finish watching the DSA, he heard a loud thump come from upstairs. Shit. He thought, rushing upstairs to his bedroom. When he entered the room, he found Miss Parker lying on the floor.

"Miss Parker!" he cried rushing over to her, "Are you all right?"

She nodded as he helped her into a sitting position. "Yeah…I forgot I was paralyzed and tried to get off the bed by myself."

"I told you if you wanted me, just yell for me."

"I know." She said as he picked her up and placed her on the bed, "I just don't want to rely on you so much…"

"Why?" demanded Jarod, sitting down beside her.

"I've been horrible to you and yet you're always there for me, always helping me. I don't deserve your help."

"I always help the people I care about, Parker."

"Why would you want to help me?" she asked, "I'm a bitch!"

He gave her a look. "I help you because of what we had as children and what we almost had on the Island of Carthis."

"What would you call we almost had on the island?"

"The new beginning. An end to a crazy five years and a start of something we've both known and needed for a long time."

"And that would be…?"

"Think about it." He answered exiting the room and leaving her to her thoughts.

6:04 p.m.

Jarod was taking yet another break from writing. He went upstairs to see if Parker had figured out the answer. When he entered the room, the woman threw a pillow at him.

"Still don't have a clue yet, huh?" he asked as he ducked.

"No!" she cried, "Tell me!"

He walked to the bed and sat down, looking into her eyes.

"Love, Parker." He said, "We both need real love and I know you hate to admit it, but when we were on that island, we had something going on between us."

"And that made you think I love you?"

"You did once…"

"I was a child then…"

"Do you, Michealina?"

"Maybe…"

"Yes or No."

She gnawed her bottom lip. Do I? She wondered, closing her eyes. Parker then began to concentrate, focusing on her Inner Sense for guidance. The answer is right in front of you, my darling. Her mother's voice whispered amongst the others, This was part of my plan. For you to be loved and cherished by a good, kind, loving soul. Jarod has, and will always, be there for you. What you feel for him is real love. Trust your heart, my darling, it will show you the way.

Her mother's voice and the others disappeared and she reopened her eyes. Jarod was staring at her, awaiting her answer. A lump formed in her throat. She swallowed hard. Tears filled her eyes and she smiled slowly.

"I love you, Jarod." She said, voice shaking, "I always have."

He kissed her forehead. "We won't be alone anymore." He whispered happily.

A month later

11:20 p.m.

Parker lay awake beside Jarod. She stared up at the ceiling, pondering many things. Can I really balance love and work, whenever I get back to it? She wondered. You're a Parker. A voice answered, You can handle anything. She smiled and closed her eyes.

She awoke not too much later to a burning sensation in her legs. She cried out in shock and in pain, waking her sleeping boyfriend. He sat up and looked over at her, concern masking his features.

"What is it?" he asked.

She laughed through the pain and answered: "My legs are burning. I can feel again! And it hurts like a bitch!"

Jarod smiled and laughed as he got out of bed and went into the bathroom, returning with two pills and a glass of water. She gratefully accepted the pills and quickly took them.

"Tomorrow we can begin with physical therapy." He said getting back into bed.

"That's gonna be a trip." Declared Parker.

"It'll take a while, but you'll be able to walk and feel again in no time." Answered Jarod.

"I can't wait." She told him with a smile.