Yearning
BPOV
I didn't pay attention in school anymore. I lost the point in listening. I didn't care what happened. The pain that was within me was to great to be pushed aside by anything. I was failing every class now. I went through the day as a zombie, totally stoic. When I got home I went to my room and simply reminisced him. How much I missed him. How much I wanted him to come back. To be in his arms again. To hear his velvet voice. To feel him brush my cheek with his hand. To smell his heady scent that made my world go fuzzy. To look into his golden eyes and melt.
Every memory, every touch, every feeling that I remember about him causes the hole in my chest to deepen, to bleed, to expand and take control. I didn't care. I wanted to remember him. Hold onto any piece of him that I have left. To relive those times where I was the happiest. His smile, his touch, his face, his hair, his hands, everything, I wanted to burn it in my memory. I don't want to forget him. He may not want me any more but I still want him.
I went to sleep every night dreaming of him. I dreamed that he came back. But only to rub in my face that he didn't want me. That I wasn't good enough for him. That it wasn't I that awoke his dead heart. Then sometimes I dreamed that he never left. That he never said those words to me that rip me to pieces. That he wanted me as much as I wanted him. I knew tonight was no different. I went to bed hopefully dreaming of him and only him.
EPOV
I know I will leave her broken. But she would heal. She has to heal. She needs to have a life with no danger in it. A life that doesn't risk hers every second of every minute of every day.
Being apart from her is tearing me apart as well. The curse of not sleeping is weakening my resolve to be away from her. Every night I don't have something to distract me, I would think of her.
I miss her terribly. Her soft, warm touch. The way she blushes at my words for the way I feel for her. The way her fragile body feels in my arms. Her scent that drives me insane. Her mind that is only silent to me. Its only been a few months and I have done everything I can to not crawl my way back to her. I want her at my side. I need her at my side. I want to hear that she loves me. That she wants me as much as I want her. If only I could go back to her. I could run to Forks, it wouldn't take that long to get to her house. Just to see her, to see her face. Even if she is asleep. I could feel my resolve weakening. I want to go so much. But I cant, I mustn't, I shouldn't. But I cant stand it any longer I need to see her.
"I will be right back "
"Where are you going Edward" said Esme.
"I need to go do something Esme" I said.
Hmm I hope he is going to see Bella, he really needs her. "Ok Edward I'll tell them when they come back" she said.
I nodded and left. I left to find her. To find my one only peace.