What Was

Toshiko

" …And this is Toshiko Sato, our technological genius." Tosh twisted her chair round and faced one Owen Harper, newest recruit to Torchwood and nodded coolly, only mildly interested and turned again to study the alien language she was deciphering. UNIT had taught her trust didn't get you very far, excepting Captain Harkness – to a certain extent.

It was over the next year that Toshiko truly begun to notice the elusive, sarcastic doctor, and intrigue settled when she realised she knew very little about the man. So she cheated and hacked into his personal Torchwood file. Of course she felt decidedly guilty thereafter, having not only hacked into meaningless basic files, but also his entire past with Katie.

It is said 65 percent of women will take a secret to the grave with her, and that was Toshiko's.

So, Toshiko took to studying the doctor, noting with her excellent mind the weariness with which he walked, the excitement when he discovered something new, or the interest when Jack taught him something old. It was obvious to her he enjoyed his time at Torchwood, but Katie was never far from his mind.

Until he noticed Suzie.

Toshiko could not even begin to describe the jealousy and misery she felt, so she buried herself into her work, often not leaving until the wee hours of the morning. Until Jack got fed up with her and drew her into his office one morning.

"Tosh, I admire your dedication, but don't you think you need some sleep?"

"No, I am fine Jack." She said quietly, feeling her eyelids lower. She pinched herself to give herself a jolt.

"Ok, there can only be one reason why your fighting exhaustion to stick around here, and I am sorry Tosh, it happens so many times and I should have realised, you too would fall under my impeccable charms…" Tosh looked to his face in surprise, and saw that Jack was joking, she smiled.

"Of course, I overwork because secretly I can't stay away" Jack laughed, then turned serious again.

"Go home Toshiko, the rift has been quiet recently, have the next couple days off, I'll only call if the world is about to end."

As it stood, Tosh only got 12 hours before the End of the World occurred. With Tosh's expertise it only lasted 6 hours, but the gesture was none-the-less appreciated.

Another thing Tosh noticed was that Owen had a tendency to walk in hungover some days. As an act of kindness, Tosh dug out some anti- hangover alien pills for Owen to use, which only seemed to make him drink more, and whinge when the pills were gone. She should have stopped there, but when Owen called her at three in the morning, begging her to go find out about an alien who had crashed a spaceship into Big Ben, she couldn't refuse, even though she didn't have a dickey bird what she was supposed to do. Thankfully the mysterious Doctor basically wrote half of the report for her. She managed the other half easily enough.

The alien was a fake. Thanks a lot Owen.

Suffice to say Owen just scoffed.

The next year past, and Tosh found herself growing more frustrated by her colleague. Until the Christmas party. For once it was fairly quiet and Jack took his team (not including Gwen at that point) out for a drink. They ended up all getting pissed out of their minds, except Toshiko who was the designated cab-caller, although Jack seemed fairly sober. The photos proved that Suzie, Owen and Ianto could not hold their liquor in jolly circumstances. As the others made their way to various taxis and whatnot, Owen lingered.

"Look Tosh, Mistletoe," He said quietly, as the two walked under a lamppost with mistletoe on the end. The bright lights shone from the Millennium Stadium as Owen gently kissed Tosh. For Tosh, it brightened up her past dull life. Later that night, after Owen had been driven home. Tosh wondered how long she had been in love with Owen Harper, and when he would officially ask her out.

Unfortunately for her, Owen appeared to have forgotten the kiss entirely. Toshiko's heart broke for the first time.

It was nearly six months after that she felt Owen step on the shards a few months later, during Gwen's 'Who did you snog last' game. How dare that hussy kiss Owen? They had only known one another for a few months! She despised her. Then it became clear they were sleeping together. Trust Gwen to believe she could have her cake and eat it too. It would have been so easy to just blame Gwen, but Tosh knew that was irrational, and was forced to take another look at the morals of the man she had unconsciously given her heart to. She hated the fact that he was clearly not bothered about sleeping with another man's woman, and cursed herself for not losing hope, or simply falling out of love.

What she despised even more was the sympathetic looks she received from Ianto and Jack, especially after her failed attempt at a relationship with Mary.

Then Diane came along and jealousy reared it's ugly head once more. Although if her experience with Mary had taught her anything, she had to keep out. Watching Owen so much in love it pained her, and when Owen nearly killed himself by weevil, Ianto literally had to force her away. In fact he forced her to listen to him.

"Owen Harper is a fool Tosh. He won't listen or appreciate any efforts on your part." He wasn't meant o be unkind. Just truthful.

"But one day Tosh, when you are both ready, he will turn around and realise, I've been an idiot. Just hang on Tosh, give him space to mourn losing Diane. He'll come round."

"What do you suggest I do in the meantime?" The younger man smiled.

"Help me with the archives? I guarantee he'll have come around by the time we're done, never mind we'll be in our fifties." Tosh laughed and thought how good Jack was for the youngest member of their team.

So Tosh hung onto Ianto's words, even when she just wanted Owen to hold her through the End of Days and Jack's disappearance.

TOSHOWENTOSHOWENTOSHOWEN

Just a little hint, this is part 2 of a series called "What Is, What Was and What Could have been" The first part was completed by heathenseyes, so you may want to read that too. This is our tribute to Tosh and Owen.

Insanity

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