Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

A/N: Hello, this is a spinoff of 'Flavor of Love' universe and although it isn't that important to read, just know that this is an AU story. For those of you that have read 'FoL' this takes place sometime after 'Spice' and before 'Sweet.'

The song 'Sex Bomb' belongs to Tom Jones.

Warnings: OOC, AU/AR, slash.

Vincent raised his hand for another shot of hard alcohol as he sat at a smoky bar run by one of Cloud's friends. He wasn't much of a drinker, at all actually because he couldn't hold his liquor very well, but the situation called for it. He had just been rejected by the love of his life he'd been pining after for ten years and Vincent had never felt so crushed in his life.

This was all Cloud's fault. If that blond hadn't come prancing into Omega Coffee House with his news about his 'Light' then none of this would have happened. Vincent wouldn't have to put up with Cloud molesting his co-worker on a semi-regular basis and the grad student wouldn't have thoughts about how much his life sucked.

He had been fine pining after Lucrecia from afar for all these years, content to catch glimpses of her when she went to visit Hojo. He didn't really mind being subjected to his boss' experiments for the perfect cup of coffee and could ignore the fact he was a 27-year-old virgin living in a rundown apartment by himself with only his gun collection to keep him company. If Cloud hadn't given him hope that he had a chance…

A glass was placed down in front of him and Vincent knocked it back, feeling the burn of it slide down his throat. "Lucrecia," he muttered as he dropped his head down on the bar, voice a little slurred as the alcohol took effect. He was seeing double and my, those were a nice pair of breasts he was faced with. Must belong to Tifa.

"Vincent, I think you've had enough," the woman said and yep, it was the martial artist. "Are you okay?"

The man nodded his head empathetically. Yes he was fine; in fact he had never felt better. Maybe it was okay that he'd been rejected and his hopes and dreams were crushed into little pieces. It was time to go out and find his Light. Wait…was that it? No, that was something Cloud would say.

Fumbling around in his apron pocket, because he had forgotten to take it off in his rush to confess to Lucrecia at AVALANCHE, he dropped down a couple crumpled bills on the counter. "Keep the change, Tifa," he said, standing up on shaky feet as he wobbled out the door.

"Do you want me to call your sister to pick you up?" Tifa asked worriedly, not at all sure Vincent would be able to make it home on his own. He didn't look like he'd make it a couple feet, let alone the five blocks to his apartment.

Vincent waved off the offer. He was fine, perfectly fine. He needed…well; he needed to find something that would take away the gaping hole in his chest. And what had Reno always said at Shinra Academy to get over heartbreak? Ah, yes. Sex. Lots and lots of sex. Well Vincent could do that, or at least he could try.

He should have been paying better attention to where he was walking because Vincent collided right with another person. He would have done a face-plant on the pavement if arms hadn't caught him around the waist. "Sorry, Ms." he slurred faintly, looking up into a pair of pretty green eyes.

"That's perfectly all right. Are you lost?" the voice was a little husky, sending pleasant tingles over Vincent's skin. Her silvery hair caught the light from the streetlamps to make it glow and Vincent thought he'd never such a pale beauty before. Maybe this was a sign. She could be his new Lucrecia.

"I was looking for…" Vincent trailed off, eyes screwing up in concentration against the headache all ready forming. What was he looking for? The information seemed to slip through his mind and the man only caught the tail end of it. "My Light!" he finished triumphantly with a small smile.

The woman's eyebrows raise in surprise before a calculating look flickered through catlike eyes. "Maybe you should come with me. I'll help you find it," she murmured, helping Vincent to his feet with a strength that belied the slender body.

Vincent was too out of it to notice when lean, muscular arms slipped around his waist or the faint, haughty tilt to pale pink lips. "It's been awhile, Mr. Valentine," the woman purred that should have been very familiar to Vincent if the man had been paying attention.

--

There was a body curled up next to him, and fleetingly Vincent thought he had killed a person and forgot to dispose of the corpse. It was much better than what he almost knew was happening and the arm settling around his very naked waist to be pulled up against a broad chest proved it. He had gotten laid last night. With another man if certain parts of his body were anything to go by and they must have gone at it more than once by how sore he was.

He was not going to panic. Nope. Vincent was going to stay cool, slip out of bed, grab his clothes, and pretend the whole thing never happened. If he didn't look behind him then that meant he wouldn't have to face the fact he'd had drunken sex with a complete stranger. A complete male stranger. A complete male stranger who was grabbing his ass.

A blush stole across his face and Vincent slid to the edge of the bed, carefully pushing off the arm around his waist. He didn't know if he should be outraged that his virginity had just been carelessly given in a drunken haze with another man, or that he hadn't felt this relaxed in years despite how sore he was. Maybe Yuffie had been on to something when he'd been pining after Lucrecia all these years. Now was not the time to dwell on that, though. He'd have plenty of time to brood over the mysteries of life when he was fully clothed and safely within the confines of his apartment.

He quickly snatched up his jeans from the mahogany floors, forgoing his underwear because there wasn't enough time. Socks would have to be left behind as well because there was no way he was going to be able to find them. His clothes were tossed around as if they'd been ripped off his body and carelessly thrown to land where it may. He found his shirt caught on the ceiling fan and stuffed them into his back pocket before heading out the door.

"Going somewhere?" a low voice drawled and Vincent froze with his hand on the doorknob. So close to freedom.

Vincent's shoulders tensed. "I thought it would be easier if I left now," he answered.

The bed creaked as the person got up, bare feet padding against the floors as they walked towards him and Vincent closed his eyes. He was not going to turn around. He was not going to confirm his suspicions on who he had slept with. And no, that man wasn't sliding his arms around his waist.

"So soon? I had thought we could get a couple more rounds in before you left," the man purred, resting his chin on Vincent's shoulder.

"My sister is looking for me," Vincent lied, trying not to react when a hand started to stroke above his hipbone in lazy circles where a bite mark was visible. Of course at that moment his sister's ringtone went off and he wanted to kill his younger sister for messing with his phone.

Sexbomb Sexbomb you're a Sexbomb
You can give it to me, when I need to come along
Sexbomb sexbomb you're my sexbomb
And baby you can turn me on.

Vincent could have died right there as he pulled out his phone from of his back pocket and flipped it open. "What?" he snapped irritably.

"Congratulations!" Yuffie yelled and Vincent hastily pulled his ear away as the voice cut through his head. "Squallie said you weren't at work today and I could only think of one reason why you would miss work: you got laid today!" She cackled in glee and gave a mock sniff. "Oh, my older brother's finally become a man."

"Yuffie, now is not the best time," Vincent hissed, feeling the rumble of the man's laughter behind him as the man pressed up against him. His hair was brushed aside and sharp teeth started to scrape against the side of his neck.

"Oooh, are you still with them?" Yuffie asked excitedly. "Who's the lucky person? What did you do? How was it?"

The phone was plucked out of Vincent's hand and the grad student twirled around to glare into amused green eyes. "I'm afraid Vincent's going to be indisposed for the next couple hours. I'm sure he'll tell you all about it when he gets home tonight."

"Professor Sephiroth?!" Yuffie shrieked before she started to cackle wildly and Vincent looked horrified as his former professor ended the call. Yuffie was never going to let him live it down.

"A couple hours?" he gaped, backing up against the wall when Sephiroth looked at him with that predatory look in his eyes. "Look, sir, I think this is all one big huge misunderstanding," Vincent began nervously, trying not to let his gaze trail over the man's very naked, very fit, pale body. God, this used to be his professor at Jenova University. He had studied under the man, and wow, he could hear Yuffie's cackle inside his head at all the implications that had.

Hands were planted on the wall on either side of Vincent's head and Sephiroth leaned down with a smirk clearly planted in place. "Call me Sephiroth," the silver haired man purred, "after all we've done last night." His lips quirked up in amusement. "And the only misunderstanding right now is why you aren't naked and in my bed." He pulled on the belt loops of Vincent's pants with faint impatience.

Vincent's mouth open and closed wordlessly. He had never felt so confused in his life, and what was worse was his body's response to how much he wanted it. "I-"

"That wasn't a request," Sephiroth cut in coldly with a raised eyebrow that demanded he be obeyed.

The grad student was half-way to the bed before he realized what exactly he was doing. He tried to protest again but Sephiroth was there and pushing him on the plush bed, nearly yanking off his pants with their mouths fused together. Vincent could feel himself lost in sensation and decided to go with it, Yuffie was always after him to try new things and, oh yes, he could only be sexually repressed for so long.

The last coherent thought Vincent had was that somehow this was all Cloud's fault.