First story. Leave comments...please don't judge too harshly!
He Makes Me Cry
Remus Lupin was staring at his hands unseeingly. They were nothing but an image blurred by the tears that were streaking down his face. He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there; he didn't know that it was, in fact, past curfew, and if anyone saw him, he was sure to lose house points.
Not that he'd have cared too much.
The ache growing in his chest was becoming stronger each day. He felt so alone in this world. Sure, he had James, Peter, and Sirius, but they were basically all pairing off. James with Lily, Peter with Kylee, and Sirius with every girl that wanted a hookup.
He grabbed at his chest when the ache deepened. Sirius. The only one he wanted. But there were a few problems with that want. One, no one knew that Remus is gay. And, two, Sirius is very obviously the opposite of gay. He's had sex with nearly every bird in the year, and many below it.
Standing up, he walked to the edge of the astronomy tower, and sat on the ledge. He'd considered jumping before, but he didn't think he'd ever have the guts to do it. Besides, he knew that his platonic mates would miss him a ton.
So it was only a couple hours later that he left the tower. Not from a jump, but instead a walk inside the echoing corridors. He wasn't letting the tears consume him anymore. That would only make people curious and question him. He took the long route, before finally stepping inside the portrait hole.
"Remus?" Sirius's voice reached his ears a couple seconds after he'd entered the common room. "Where were you, bud? You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," he mumbled back, already starting up the staircase. He waved off his mates worry. "I'm just tired...gonna head up to bed."
"But-"
"Goodnight."
And with that, he turned sharply down the hall that held their dorms, and opened the room, crumbling onto the bed next to the window. He turned bodily to face the window, and smiled a tiny, sardonic smile. The moon. What a beautiful and horrendous sight. He was glad the full moon had passed just a few days ago.
Yes, another reason he could never be with Sirius. He was a monster. He believed that no matter how often his mates told him otherwise. It was only truth, wasn't it? It was instinct for werewolves to kill. If that wasn't monstrous, he didn't want to know what was?
He heard the door creak open and groaned.
"Remus?"
"Go back to snogging that bird, Sirius."
"I wasn't snogging her, Remmy."
"I don't care. Go back to whatever you were doing."
"She was helping me with potions. I didn't want to fail, and I wanted to get your approval."
Remus knit his eyebrows together but didn't respond.
"I would've asked you for help, but I wanted to impress you. But please believe that I wasn't snogging her."
"Okay." He had no real reason to believe that Sirius was lying besides the fact that he never studied, so that would be quite odd. But he trusted his word, oddly enough.
"Oi!" James shouted from the bed next to Remus's. "Can you two love bird's just kiss already and be done with it? A man's trying to sleep here." Remus could feel himself turning red as he muttered at James, telling him to shut up.
"Man?" Sirius snorted, "try again." He moved closer to Remus's bed as he spoke. "Put on a show?" he queried to Remus, who sat there in shock. He couldn't possibly have been insinuating...?
"I don't think…" he said, trailing off, as Sirius got ever closer.
"Not on the lips, silly," he responded, before diving down and catching Remus's cheek with his soft pink lips.
Remus blushed even brighter, shoving a pillow in his face.
When Sirius eventually fell asleep that night, Remus let a fresh cascade of tears go, envisioning the feeling of Sirius's lips again and again, imagining that they landed on other places as well. He felt horrible thinking of his best mate that way, but he couldn't exactly help it.
Life would be so much easier if he wasn't in love with his best mate who didn't reciprocate the feelings.