It felt a little odd to see the common room this quiet. Of course, it was naturally going to be quiet since there was the middle of the night and there was only one person in it at the time, but still. There was usually commotion coming from the kitchen, or the sound of flipping pages or quiet conversation. Now the shadows cast by the minimal lighting only added to the eerie stillness. Stillness and silence.
Or perhaps not complete silence. Mahiru could still hear them. Especially Karen.
Upon returning from below the school Karen and Hikari had somehow managed to become even more inseparable than they had been before Hikari's disappearance. They almost seemed glued at the hip, were constantly gazing lovingly into each other's eyes, and they had developed a habit of exchanging small kisses and other gestures of affection when nobody was looking. Or at least when they thought nobody was looking. Actually, considering that they would just do those kinds of things whenever and wherever, they might not have even been considering whether someone was looking or not. Regardless, they were very clearly a happy and affectionate couple.
Mahiru really was happy for them. Karen's happiness was her happiness, after all, especially after watching her spend seven months laboring to translate a book written in a language she didn't even speak. She had been so quiet, so stoic. So unlike herself. How many times had Mahiru's heart come so close to breaking during that time? How many times had she worried that Karen would never find her light again, and that the girl she loved was broken beyond repair? With Hikari at her side, Karen was Karen again. Mahiru would tell herself that this was good. That it was enough.
Was it really though? Mahiru liked to think that she was over Karen. That she could lose gracefully and support both her and Hikari. And she had been doing just that, much to the couple's genuine appreciation. But there was a part of her that could still not accept this loss. A part of her soul that burned, ached with sickly green jealousy. A particularly loud and sharp moan from upstairs made her chest feel uncomfortably tight for just a brief moment.
"You know, there's a few people here I wouldn't be surprised to see out of bed at this hour, but not you."
Mahiru nearly jumped straight through the ceiling into the floor above at the sound of the familiar voice. She scrambled to her feet as she turned to face the one who intruded on her solitude. "S-Saijou-san!"
Claudine sighed and waved her hand dismissively. "Relax. You just sitting around is a refreshingly normal thing to see down here." Mahiru could only nod slowly and silently while Claudine disappeared into the kitchen. Sinking back down onto the couch Mahiru found Claudine's words starting to register in her mind. Refreshingly normal? What did that mean? Did weird things often happen in the common room at night? ...Nevermind, she probably didn't need to know. Mahiru sighed softly as Claudine reappeared, a glass of ice water in hand. She took a small, dainty sip before making her way over to the couch.
"Do you mind if I sit?"
Mahiru shook her head. "No, of course not." She smiled softly at Claudine, who smiled right back as she took a seat.
"So what are you doing out here, exactly?" A muffled cry from somewhere in the dorm that sounded vaguely like 'Hikari-chan!' followed by something halfway between a moan and a scream answered the question before Mahiru could even open her mouth. Claudine let out an understanding 'ahh' before taking another sip of her water. "Did they kick you out?"
"Well, um, no," Mahiru said, trying to ignore the heat rising in her cheeks as she recalled the events that had unfolded earlier that evening. "You see, they were looking at each other, you know, in that way they do, and I, um, I figured that I needed to give them some alone time. So I came down here." She flashed another smile, although this one was considerably more awkward than the last one.
"So you're waiting for them to tire themselves out?"
"Actually, I…" She took a deep breath. "I was kind of counting on falling asleep on the couch. Sometimes I think those two can go forever…"
One of Claudine's eyebrows shot up. "You were planning to sleep down here?" The small laugh that followed didn't exactly reassure Mahiru.
"I...yeah," She said with a sigh. "It's just for tonight, a-and it can't be so bad, this is a nice couch…" A hand clapped down onto her shoulder, making her flinch slightly.
"You don't really want to sleep down here, trust me."
"Well, I can't really sleep in my own bed…"
"Don't worry, mine's pretty wide."
"You're very lucky to have such a...huh?" The implications of what Claudine had just said nearly bowled her over as they hit, causing what had previously been just a light glow of embarrassment to go full scarlet. "N-no no, you don't need to go that far for me, that's your bed!"
Claudine shrugged. "It's fine, it's not like I haven't shared it with other people before." Mahiru covered her face and looked away as her blush somehow intensified. Claudine frowned. "Platonically," She said, sounding slightly exasperated. "It was when Futaba had that fight with Kaoruko and moved into my room."
"O-oh." Oh yeah, that had happened. "Still, I don't want to bother you or anything…"
"You won't be," Claudine said, grabbing ahold of Mahiru's arm. Mahiru squeaked slightly as she found herself being pulled along. "Come on, you should really get some sleep."
Any and all protests seemed to fall on deaf ears as Mahiru was lead through the dorm halls towards Claudine's room. Was Claudine always this fast when she walked? Mahiru nearly found herself tripping over her own feet more than once trying to keep up. How utterly graceful and befitting of a stage girl, she thought bitterly to herself. Surely Karen had no use for such a clumsy partner. Finally stopping in front of the room's door gave her a welcome opportunity to force down some feelings of resentment and breathe a little.
"Veuillez entrer," Claudine stood with her back to the now open door, grinning broadly. Smiling gently in return and giving a slight bow, Mahiru stepped inside. There was a small chuckle from behind her, probably in response to the overt display of politeness. She ignored it. It was probably better to be overly polite about this whole thing anyway, especially since this was somewhere as personal and private as a bedroom. Speaking of, this was the first time she'd really gotten a good look at the room Claudine had all to herself. It was tidy, which she supposed was to be expected. There were a few trophies and framed pictures sitting on the desk and some of the shelves, but other than that it was fairly free of clutter. Her attention was drawn to the bed as Claudine moved past her and lied down in it, stretching out her limbs before looking over and beckoning Mahiru with a finger. It was a pretty big bed. Soft looking, too. Even had a canopy, because of course it did. And it was occupied by a grinning half-French girl who was currently calling her over. Mahiru swallowed. With some trepidation she sat down on the bed. It was exactly as soft as it looked, she found, which soothed a little bit. But just a little bit.
"Du calme, du calme," She heard from behind her. Mahiru looked over her shoulder to see Claudine wiggling her way under the blanket. Her expression was somewhat gentle now, softer and reassuring. "Relax. It's okay." A hand reached out and placed itself atop her own, squeezing gently. Mahiru exhaled slowly, having realized she'd been holding her breath. Gingerly she reached for the covers, pulling them up before climbing under them. This was actually quite comfortable, she thought to herself. The tension was slowly leaving her muscles and she found herself starting to relax enough that maybe, just maybe, she could fall asleep here.
"Thank you, Saijou-san."
"You're welcome." Claudine rolled over so that Mahiru could no longer see her face. "Bonne nuit, Mahiru. Fais de beaux rêves."
The bright lights around her. The dark shadows above her. The inexplicable surge of heat in her veins. The weight of a weapon in her hand. So she was back here, was she? This mysterious stage. Her fight or flight instinct activated immediately, a feeling she had grown used to by now. She squared her stance, raising her mace in front of her. A stage girl did not choose flight. Yes, fighting was the only option.
A spotlight shone on a figure in the distance. Mahiru squinted, struggling to make out any details. Too far away. Although they did seem to be drawing closer. She shifted her stance again, this time taking a fully offensive one. Ready to strike at a moment's notice. The figure's face was covered in shadow as they approached, but Mahiru was able to pick up a few clues about their identity. The predominantly red outfit. The long sword they carried at their side, a cavalry saber. She sucked in a nervous breath. Even without the face, it wasn't hard to reach a conclusion about who they were.
"Karen-chan…"
The figure stepped fully into the light, confirming Mahiru's suspicions. Karen wore a confident, determined expression, one that communicated burning, blazing passion. No words were spoken. The moment she entered the stage she broke into a run, making a beeline for Mahiru. Mahiru shifted once more in preparation to defend. Karen rapidly drew closer, her sword already having begun to swing. Mahiru focused. The instinct granted to her by the stage guided her movements.
There was the distinctive clang of metal against metal. Sparks flew from where their weapons met. No sooner than her strike was blocked Karen was drawing back her sword to attack again. Once more Mahiru raised her mace in defense. Once more the sparks flew. These were the first steps to a dance ingrained into them by the stage.
They continued like this, surrounded by sparks and the singing of steel. It was familiar, and yet...not. In their first fight Karen had been flighty and defensive, allowing Mahiru to attack at full strength. Here, though, she moved so swiftly and aggressively that Mahiru barely even had time to defend herself, much less look for an opening and strike. Karen was driving her backwards across the stage, leaving her straining as she hurried to meet Karen's attacks. Her back hit some kind of wall. Karen's sword was swinging in her direction. Mahiru raised a trembling arm, holding out her mace in desperation. The grip had become slick with sweat.
Karen's blade met the mace's handle. Mahiru's eyes widened in horror as the weapon slipped from her fingers. It landed on the ground with a heavy thud. Karen drew back her sword to deliver the final blow. The gold pin on her coat glinted in the corner of Mahiru's vision as Karen's blade drove forward.
The sword missed the pin. Instead it plunged itself straight through Mahiru's heart.
She tried to gasp. What came out was coughing and sputtering, her throat filling with blood. She looked down at her wound, a dark red spot forming on the front of her outfit and growing quickly. She felt like she should have been in a tremendous amount of pain but instead she was just...numb. All she could feel was the coldness of the steel embedded in her chest. Her gaze shifted to meet that of the one who had done this to her.
"K-Karen...chan…" Her voice was hoarse. Blood spilled from her lips.
Karen said nothing. Her hand released the handle of her sword, leaving Mahiru impaled, pinned to the wall behind her. She turned, and that was when Mahiru noticed that a massive stairway had somehow appeared in front of them. It glowed so brightly Mahiru had to squint to keep from going blind, and at the top she could see two familiar red stars, as well as a figure bathed in blue light. Even at this distance, and with shock starting to set in, she could still recognize Hikari. Karen began to ascend, the other lights on-stage dimming slightly with every step.
"Karen-chan, wait!" She tried to call out, but she could only cough as she choked on her own blood. The tang of metal had thoroughly filled her mouth and nose. She could only watch as Karen climbed higher and higher, leaving her alone. Helpless. Stabbed through the heart and bleeding out in the darkness. Her body began to feel cold. The faint light from the stars at the top was starting to grow blurry.
"Karen-chan, please don't leave me," She begged with the last ounce of her strength. Her voice was so quiet, barely above a whisper. "Karen-chan…"
"Karen-chan!" The sudden loudness of her own voice was what jolted her into wakefulness. Her eyes shot open to find a ceiling illuminated by moonlight. She gasped for breath as she pressed a hand against her chest, although her breathing steadied a little as she realized that there was no sword through it, no bleeding wound. Slightly calmer, she noticed that the bed she was in seemed to have a canopy. This...this wasn't her room, was it?
"Que..." Mahiru heard a sleepy voice mutter beside her, followed by the rustling of sheets, "que se passe-t-il…?" She looked over to Claudine rubbing her eyes.
Ohhhh, that's right. It was all coming back to her. She was here in Claudine's room because...because… Tears began welling up in her eyes as the events that led up to her being here, the ones reflected in her dream, replayed in her mind. She was here in this bed because she couldn't sleep in her own. Because Karen and Hikari didn't need her.
"Hey, are you crying?" Claudine sat up, leaning over her. She reached over and swiped a thumb over Mahiru's cheek, catching a tear as it fell. "Mahiru, are you okay?"
Mahiru sat up. No, no she wasn't okay. Every cell in her body screamed with how not okay she was. Nearly two years worth of pent-up feelings were about to come out all at once and it almost felt as if her body might not survive it. She drew in a few long, shuddering breaths in hopes of delaying the inevitable. It did little, if anything. Mahiru let out wail as she threw her arms around Claudine, burying her face into her shoulder just as the dam finally burst.
Why did she have to fall in love with a girl who had already promised herself to another? Why did the one she'd promised herself to, absent long enough that it wasn't impossible for her to have forgotten, have to show up and intrude on their lives? What would have happened if Mahiru had confessed earlier, made Karen hers before Hikari had a chance to steal her away? In all the time she'd known Karen Mahiru had not cried over her once. Not even as Karen was slipping away from her did she even weep. She had remained strong because she had to, because that's what Karen would have wanted. Every tear that had gone unshed now poured forth, every anguished cry she had held back tearing its way from her throat. She felt a hand softly stroking her back, heard gentle whispering in her ear. Even as all her pain flowed out from her the contact was soothing. It was easy to ignore the fact that she was alone, Mahiru found, when she was in someone else's embrace.
Mahiru wrapped herself tighter around Claudine. Karen was probably cuddled up with Hikari right now, sleeping soundly. Dreaming of pleasant things. How wonderful it must be to sleep in the arms of a lover. Would she ever get to experience that? From the way things had been going it seemed that Karen would never hold her close, never mutter sweet nothings to her. Mahiru's eyes opened as a realization slowly dawned on her. She would never get from Karen what she was getting right now from Claudine.
Claudine was not Karen. Claudine was worlds apart from Karen, there was no comparison. But, perhaps, for tonight, she could pretend.
She pulled herself fully onto Claudine's lap to allow herself to straddle her legs. This was a considerably more intimate position than Mahiru had ever found herself in with another person. Not even the close, intense dances they were made to practice could compare to this. Those were a performance and as such had a feel of a professional sort of distance even as they were pressed so tightly together that no space remained between them. Here, though, they were alone, in a bedroom, wearing only their pajamas. Heat rose in Mahiru's face as she held on tighter. Tentatively she ground her hips against Claudine's.
"Mahiru?" Claudine sounded mildly perturbed as Mahiru continued to move against her. "Mahiru, what are you doing?" Mahiru pressed deeper into Claudine's shoulder. They were left uncovered by Claudine's pajamas, so she could feel the bare skin against her own. She inhaled. The scent was sweet. "Mahiru!" There was a warmth spreading through Mahiru's body, with much of it concentrated between her legs. It was good. This felt good. She needed to feel good.
"Karen-chan, Karen-chan…" The mantra was whispered against Claudine's rapidly warming skin. Her hips began to move faster as the pressure inside her increased. Soon enough she noticed that something stiff and hard was pressing against one of her more tender spots. So Claudine was enjoying this? Good, that meant she wouldn't mind this too much. Mahiru focused her movements on Claudine's growing erection, small moans and gasps escaping as she thought about how it might feel inside her. Would it feel good enough? Would it hurt? Mahiru decided she might not mind if it hurt. A bit of physical pain would be a great distraction from the emotional kind that overwhelmed her. She was fully, completely aroused now, her underwear a sticky mess leaving stains on Claudine's clothes. Gods, she needed this now. She pushed Claudine down onto the bed, continuing to grind against her with increasing intensity. "Please, please take me, have me, please…"
"No."
"Please!" Another wave of tears were starting to roll down her cheeks. She stared straight ahead into Claudine's eyes, her expression pleading. The face that gazed back at her was flushed with sweat, but nevertheless stern and serious. "Please, Saijou-san, I need this," She begged.
Claudine sighed. "No, you don't," She said, propping herself up on her elbows. "You don't really want this."
"I do," Mahiru said through tears.
"You don't," She said again. "You want this from Karen. Not from me."
"Karen-chan can't give me this," she pressed herself downward and moaned softly, "but you're right here with me."
"It's just going to make it hurt more later."
"I don't care."
Claudine flopped back and stared up at the ceiling, a long sigh coming from her lips.
"I'll talk to her," Mahiru said. "Tomorrow I'll tell Karen-chan everything, and I'll figure things out when I do." Her hips began to slow down and eventually stilled. "But for tonight," she leaned over to look at Claudine's face once again, "just for tonight, please, I don't want to be alone…"
Claudine stared up at her, quizzically, silent as she considered her next course of action. Finally she lifted herself up so that her face was level with Mahiru's.
"Just for tonight," She said, cupping Mahiru's cheek, "I will indulge you. But only if you talk to Karen tomorrow like you said you would."
"I will."
"Tres bien." The distance between their faces grew smaller and smaller until their lips touched. It was light at first, barely even something that could be called a kiss, but it very quickly grew rougher, more desperate. Mahiru found herself melting into it, becoming slack and making it all too easy for Claudine to reverse their positions. She now lay on her back, her fingers tangling themselves in Claudine's hair as she held on tightly. A tongue prodded at her lips, requesting entry, and she lacked the strength to resist. While her mouth was being invaded and ravaged she felt hands at her breasts, pawing and squeezing them between undoing her buttons. Moments later there was a series of tugs on her clothes. The kiss broke to allow Claudine to pull Mahiru's pajamas over her head.
Mahiru shivered. The air was cool as it washed over her bare skin, and not even the heat rising from her core could stave off the chill. Before she could focus on the cold any further her lips were recaptured in a kiss just as passionate as the previous one. One of Claudine's hands started squeezing her breasts and playing with the nipple, while the other journeyed lower. It slipped into her panties and started stroking the slit with a finger.
"Oh wow," She said, breaking the kiss. "You're really this wet already." Her finger slid inside very briefly, causing Mahiru to moan. "This makes things a little easier." She withdrew her hand, ignoring the cry of protest. Gripping the waistband she pulled them down slowly, removing the final barrier and leaving Mahiru bared to the world.
She was starting to get a little embarrassed, especially as Claudine got up off of her to remove her own clothes. Now in full view were all of her soft curves and toned muscles, her perky breasts and her handsomely-sized cock. Mahiru's breath hitched. Claudine was...really pretty, now that she was getting a good look at her. Still, even if she was a breathtaking sight to behold, she wasn't...Mahiru lied back and stared up at the ceiling. She couldn't forget, couldn't stop thinking about her even when she was literally naked, about to give herself to another girl.
"Karen-chan…"
She felt a pair of lips on her forehead. They were soft and gentle. Claudine pulled away to look down at her again. The way the sweat on her skin shone in the moonlight made her look almost ethereal.
"Are you sure you want this?" Her gaze was intense, yet it was laced with clear concern. "If you aren't sure then we can stop." Did she want this? Mahiru knew what she really wanted, and it was something she couldn't have. This was a poor replacement, a temporary distraction. But the pain of longing was too great. Perhaps this wasn't what she ultimately wanted, but it was what she wanted in this moment. A means to dull the pain.
"Don't stop, please," She begged.
Claudine nodded slowly. "I'll be gentle."
"Don't be," Mahiru said, shaking her head. "You can be as rough as you want with me, it's fine." She opted not to say that she would greatly prefer it.
Claudine raised an eyebrow but said nothing else. She got into position between Mahiru's legs, lining herself up. Mahiru looked towards where their bodies would meet in anticipation, and it was at this point she noticed the pink-colored wrapping on Claudine's length. A condom. She had to admit she was slightly disappointed, although then again it was probably a better idea than not.
"Are you ready?" Her eyes were drawn back to Claudine's face. Mahiru inhaled.
"Yes, I'm ready." She shut her eyes tightly in preparation, and moments later it came. Putting it in went smoothly enough since there was no shortage of natural lubrication, but the actual feeling of having someone inside her was...strange. She could feel her walls being stretched out as Claudine went further inside her. It hurt a little bit, not a lot.
A pair of lips could be felt pressed against her jaw. They moved slowly upwards until they reached her ear. "Tell me when you want me to move."
"Move," She said without hesitation. Claudine pulled out almost completely. It made her feel strange. Empty. Before she could contemplate the sensation any further Claudine shoved herself right back in. Mahiru yelped and her eyes shot open as Claudine began to move in and out of her. The pace wasn't particularly fast or rough, but it might have been a little too much for a first time. She had no complaints, though.
Karen...Karen wouldn't be gentle with her, probably. Karen was not a delicate person, she was one to act first and think things through when she was done. She would go hard and fast, and she'd probably kiss her all over too. That was what she wanted, what she needed right now. Something that could allow her to at least pretend.
"Go harder, go harder," She said breathily, and cried out when Claudine responded. Her arms wrapped themselves around Claudine's neck, pulling her closer as she rammed her at a suitably quick pace. At last it felt safe to lose herself. Mahiru's head was starting to get fuzzy as everything else gave way to sheer pleasure. She was burning up, starting to forget where she was and why she was here. The only thing that mattered was that in this moment she felt good. And it was all culminating in one big finish. Karen's name slipped from her lips as her climax wracked her body.
What followed was somewhat of a blur. She could feel soft kisses, soft touches, soft bed sheets, but she couldn't really tell what anything was. All she knew was that her body throbbed with a dull ache and her face was buried in someone's chest, their arms wrapped protectively around her.
"Karen-chan…"
"She's not here. Je suis désolée." She nuzzled closer to Claudine. That's right. Karen wasn't here. She was up in their room with Hikari, sleeping soundly. Once again tears welled up in her eyes. The noises she made were soft as she cried into Claudine's chest.
"I understand, you know," Claudine said, a hand running itself through Mahiru's hair. "It hurts to love someone who doesn't feel the same." Her voice had a slightly melancholy tone, something Mahiru grew quiet at.
"Who is it?" Mahiru asked before she could stop herself.
"Doesn't matter." What followed was a long silence, the only things Mahiru could hear being Claudine's breathing and heartbeat. It was actually somewhat calming. She found her eyelids starting to grow heavy.
"Do you feel any better?" Claudine asked after a while.
"I don't know…" She wasn't sure if she was even awake enough to tell.
"Get some sleep then. You'll know in the morning." A soft kiss was placed on the top of her head. "Bonne nuit. Je suis désolée."