For those of you reading "Surprises and Secrets", please be patient. I'm sorry I haven't updated it. I have had a child in the hospital for nearly a month now. This new one shot came to me, and I had to get it down. I have had some issues uploading on this site, so I hope it loads properly. Follow me on twitter too, and please review here. H_Shelton25 THANKS! XOXO

Disclaimer: If I owned Castle, we wouldn't be headed into a hiatus...

As soon as it was out of his mouth, he realized his statement wasn't only meant for his daughter. He was right, sometimes you do have to decide if you want something bad enought to get past the hurt. He stood, kissed his daughter good night, and made his way to his bedroom. He scrubbed his hands though his hair and over his face. He let out an exhausted sigh.

'What have I been doing?' he mumbled to no one in particular.

While some would argue that his behavior had been warranted, deep down he knew he had overreacted. He couldn't have just been imagining the changes in her over these past months. They had been growing closer. She didn't move away when he stepped into her personal space. She didn't fight him when he helped her on with her coat. She had even been the one to hold his hand during his mothers 'one woman show'. She smiled more, and smiled more at him.

When he heard her confession, he assumed the worst. He didn't for one second consider that she had her own very personal reasons for not telling him the truth. After working with Det. Slaughter, and knowing that Beckett still had his back, Castle's mind had opened slightly. His mother was right, he couldn't just turn his feelings and emotions off. He loved the woman, and damnit, he was going to fight for her. He had to do some major damage control, however, because as much as he hated to admit it, he knew he had hurt her.

Once he was comfortable in his bed, he grabbed his phone and sent a text to the woman he had been such a jerk to.

"Until tomorrow, Detective. Sweet dreams- RC"

She had just dozed off when she heard her phone chime.

To say that Castle's recent behavior had been odd was an understatement. Four years ago, she wouldn't have been bothered by any of it, but now... Now, they weren't just aquaintences. They were partners and best friends. She couldn't understand what was going on with him. Now, reading the text from him, left her even more puzzled.

She just shook her head, and typed out her reply.

"Goodnight Castle... KB"

Her alarm was buzzing. It was time to get up, but after such a restless night she opted for the snooze button. Despite how many times she slapped at it, the damn thing wouldn't stop buzzing. Finally, she groaned and sar up only to realize that it wasn't her alarm clock. It was her phone. She had three missed calls and two text messages from Castle.

''Good Morning! I am on my way over. Hope you don't mind-RC"

and

"Wakey Wakey, I've got eggs and bakey-RC"

Just as she stood up, there was a knock on her door, and the buzz of her phone again.

"Mind opening the door?-RC"

"Castle, it's six o'clock in the morning... what are you doing here?" she asked as he walked into her apartment.

"Well, Detective, we haven't enjoyed our morning coffee together lately" he said while holding out a steaming cup caffine to her

"So you decided that you would wake me up an hour before my alarm?"

She glared at him, but he ignored it while walking further into her living room. He didn't come over to just bring her coffee. He knew she would understand the gesture because that was their thing. His bringing her coffee every day was his way of saying more than he could voice. He had a lot to say, and not a lot of courage to say it with. He set his cup onto the end table next to her sofa before stepping towards her.

Something was up. Kate Beckett was a trained detective and a damn good one at that. However, these past few weeks, she couldn't figure out anything about Richard Castle. Now, he was standing here in her apartment at the crack of dawn bringing what seemed like to her, a peace offering. When he turned to face her again, she saw something in his eyes that she wasn't sure she had seen before in him. He looked hurt, scared, and completely unsure of himself. He truly looked like a little boy.

"Castle...I.." she started, but he cut her off

"No, Kate... I have something to say, but I need you to listen to me. Please don't say anything. Just listen. Okay?"

Now she was worried. Was he about to tell her that he was done shaddowing her? With his antics lately, she could believe it. He was bored with her. He wanted fun and uncomplicated. He said so himself. She was far from uncomplicated and he was done with her.

She swallowed hard, and nodded to indicate to him she was listening.

Castle paced a few steps in several directions at one time, if that were possible. He wasn't sure how to go about this. Finally, he stopped just a few feet from her, drew a long breathe and spit it all out...

"Kate, I've been an ass. I was in observation when you were interrogating Bobby after the bombing. I know you remember your shooting, and what I said to you."

Her eyes widened and filled with tears. Now, it was all clear to her. She understood why he had been behaving like a ... well, a jack ass. She opened her mouth to say something, but he just closed his eyes and held his hand up. He wasn't finished.

"I can't explain the things I felt at that moment. Anger, rage, disbelief, and hurt were among those feelings. I still feel a lot of that, Kate. I tried my best to bottle all of those emotions up and move on. It was so clear at that moment why you lied to me. I wanted to stop shaddowing you, but this work is important to me. I didn't, and don't want to give it up. I tried to turn my feelings off by pushing you away. I fell back into my old habits, because that is how I coped with rejection and loniless before I met you."

Now, his eyes were moist as well, and he had to take a second to compose his thoughts again. He was afraid his voice would fail him. He ran his hands through his hair once again and took a small step towards the now frozen detective.

"As cliche as this sounds, you changed my life. You proved to me that their are people in this world who do care about me, and not because of my money, books or social status. You have shown me friendship that I haven't known since I was a kid, and I'm not sure I knew what it was then. You are my best friend, Kate."

She couldn't speak. She couldn't move. She was still very uncertain where this was going, but she was extremely grateful that he was talking to her, and calling her 'Kate' again. Again, she tried to say something but he stopped her.

"Shhh, I'm almost done, then we can talk if you want." he said

She nodded.

"It wasn't fair to either of us that day in May. I thought I was losing you. I thought I would never see you again. I didn't... I couldn't let you die without knowing how I felt about you. I never thought about what would happen if you did make it. That wasn't going through my mind. Looking back, I still would have said it, but I never would have put you on the spot afterwards by asking what you remembed. That wasn't fair to you. You were dealing with a lot more that I could have ever imagined, and now that I know about your PTSD, I understand even more. I'm sorry, Kate. I want to remain in your life, as your friend, as your partner... even though you don't feel the same way about me. Please, Kate... Please forgive me for acting like a jerk."

Kate Beckett stood shell shocked. Does he really think I don't love him?

He watched her for a reaction, but it wasn't the one he was expecting. She relaxed and dropped her arms to her sides. She tried her best to put the sterness into her voice, and onto her expression. She slowly stepped towards him, firmly poked her finger in his chest to express each word she said..

"Richard. Castle. Don't. You. Ever. For. One. Minute. Think. That. I. Don't. Love. You!"

She didn't move back. They were inches apart, and could feel the warmth of one anothers breath. His worried expression suddenly turned into confusion, then excitement as he registered what she had just said. Without another word, he closed the distance between them and captured her mouth with his. One hand on her face, and the other behind her neck and into her hair. Unlike their last first kiss, this one wasn't rushed. It was soft, and passionate. They savored the taste of each other. She slid her hands around his neck, and opened her lips to allow his tongue to slip in. The moist heat of their tongues battling for control ignited a fire in both of them. She suddenly found herself walking him backwards towards her bedroom. Her lips never leaving his as she unbuttoned his shirt. His hands had found their way under the hem of her blouse and before they had made it to the bed, shirts, pants and various items of clothing were flying.

She pushed him backwards onto the bed, but before she could climb on top of him, he had flipped her and was now hovering over her. He took this moment to slow things down, and simply let them each enjoy what was happening. They had both waiting 4 years for this moment. Even though she would never admit it, she regularly fantisized about this adventure with her writer. His strong masculine hands caressed the sides of her body and he leaned again to kiss her again. She let her own hands move down his back until she met the waist band of his boxers. She pushed them down as far as she could with her hands, then wrapped her legs around him, and pushed them all the way off with her feet. He rested his elbows and forearms on either side of her head. Their noses were practically touching. He feathered her with soft kisses all over her face, lips and down her neck until he was at her collerbone. His moved his hand softly over the rise of her breasts, down her stomach and hooked his thumb under the elastic of her panties. He pushed them down, and out of the way while he took her lips in his again for a passion filled, and heated kiss.

He was on top of her again, and until this moment, neither of them had uttered a word. The heat of their bodies, and the look, desire, want, and need in their eyes said it all. Love. Pure, unconditonal love. She put her hands on either side of his face, pulled him close, looked deep into those crystal blue eyes and said what he had been waiting years to hear.

"Rick, I love you. So much."

His heart had never felt so large or overjoyed.

"I love you, Kate. More than I ever believe possible. I love you"

The love they made that morning would never be forgotten by either of them.

I hope you enjoyed it. All the mistakes are mine. I didn't proof read before I posted it. I know, I know... I should have. It's been a hell of a month though... so just hang in there with me. =)