A/n: I came up with this randomly. It is really funny. Please read, review, and enjoy.
disclaimer:
Me: Hey Stephenie
SM: What do you want?
Me: can I own the rights to Twilight?
SM: Noooooo! Me own Twilight. No one else. Its all mine. Me no share
Me: Why not?
SM: Because I said so!
Me: Okay fine. But, I do own the things I put in this story such as Cattyville Oklahoma, right?
SM: yeah, you do.
Me: Yeaaaaa. *hugs SM*
an immortal child?
Emmett POV
We were all sitting around. Jacob was sitting with Renesmee, I was with Rosalie, Jasper was with Alice, Bella with Edward, and Esme with Carlisle. I was sort of bored.
"I'm boooooooorrrrrrrreeeeeeeeddddddddd!" I boomed, causing Rosalie to jump.
"I'm bored to. What do you want to do? Jacob questioned.
"Let's wrestle!" I exclaimed showing off my huge muscles.
"We do that too much. Let's do something else," Renesmee suggested.
Suddenly, an idea flashed into my mind. It apparently was a good one, because at about the same moment, both Alice and Edward were laughing, rolling on the floor and clutching their sides. Jasper was soon to follow, I guess the emotions were a bit too much for him. He was also rolling on the floor laughing. I interrupted the moment by shouting
"Let's prank call the Volturi I have the perfect idea!" Then, I started trying to jump around, in an act to imitate Alice when she is really excited.
"What's your idea?" Jacob asked.
"Let's download some sounds of babies crying, and then prank call the Volturi telling them we have an immortal child!" I shouted, still jumping around like an idiotic version of an overexcited Alice. After that was said, everyone started going into hysterics, including Carlisle and Esme.
When everyone was done laughing, we downloaded some baby crying sounds. Then, we got the phone. Carlisle gave us Aro's phone number, and we dialed restricted. We had decided that I would talk in a disguised voice for this joke. I had a lot of ideas for this call, and I knew they would be funny.
Aro POV
I was sitting at my desk, when suddenly my phone rang. Who would be calling at this time? I ignored that thought, and picked up the phone.
"Hello, Aro speaking," I said
"Oh my god oh my god oh my god!" the other person said. I didn't recognize the voice at all. "I need help,"
"What's wrong?" I asked
"My vamp cat named Catty just created an immortal child!" the other person said. Then, I heard the sound of a baby crying on the other end of the line. This really had my curiosity flaring.
"How did you get a vampire cat?" I asked. The other person hesitated for a second before answering.
"My vampire cookie named Cookiepoo made it," the other person replied. He was sounding like he was beginning to sob tearlessly.
"Where did you get Cookiepoo?" I asked. The mystery person answered back still sobbing.
"My mommy made it before she got killed by a werewolf burger."
"And what, may I ask, is a werewolf burger?" I questioned
"It-it-its a burger that can phase into a werewolf," mystery person replied back.
"How did that werewolf burger originate?" I continued.
"I think a human made a burger from a werewolf mistaking it for a pig, but I'm not sure," this other boy answered back. Through this whole time, I kept hearing the sound of a baby crying. I didn't know what to say next.
"Where are you now so we can come and investigate?" I asked.
"I am on Cookie Avenue in Cattyville Oklahoma," they replied. This was getting a bit weird. I knew all about the United States, but last I knew there was no placed called Cattyville in Oklahoma. Then it dawned on me. I had heard a little bit about prank calling, but I didn't think anyone would do that to me.
"Are you prank calling me?" I asked the person. The reply I got was weird.
"No I'm not Mr. Touchy Touchy Mindreader Dude. No one prank calls the Volturi. I know what you do when people do that. You send your evil flying pillow vamps out to get the prank callers. That happened to my daddy when he prank called you about the exploding vamp pencil that could phase into a pickle. He had a phobia of pillows after that. That night, he died from a heart attack because he saw his pillow on his bed when he went to go to sleep."
I never have done that, I've never even heard of such thing as a vampire pillow. I have also never been prank called. Who the heck was this person?
in fact,
"I never have gotten a prank call, and I don't have any evil flying vamp pillows," I replied
"Now you're in denial," the other person sobbed onto the line. "I hate you!"
"Now now my friend, we don't need to talk like that," I said back. Then, I decided to just fall into it. "Was your daddy human?" I questioned.
"Duh, he was human. What has happened to your brain. Was your last meal a drunkard? Of course he was human. How else could he have had a heart attack, huh?"
"I am sorry my friend," I responded back. "I don't remember anything like that happening. Now can you tell me where your immortal child is? If you don't I will track you down," I threatened authoritatively.
"I already told you where I am for christ sake!" the other crazy mystery dude exploded into the phone.
I think this mystery dude was going to continue, but I didn't give him time. I hung up the phone, and called Demitri to track this guy so I could question him in person. It took him a minute to track the person down by staring at the phone (A/N: I don't even know if that's possible but just take it) and I was shocked by what we found. It was the Cullen family pranking us. They would be in for a big surprise. I already had my idea of how I would get back at them.
Within a few hours, I had my new invention, a pillow launcher, ready to bring to the Cullen home.
Emmett POV
two days later
My family and I have learned one thing over the last day. That is, to never ever mess with the Volturi unless you are ready to accept the consequences. Yesterday, I was outside, and suddenly a bunch of pillows started hitting me in the head. I looked around, and couldn't see anything. It continued like this for about 10 minutes, with pillows hitting my entire family. The pillows were all shapes and sizes. Then, after that, Aro, Demitri, and Marcus came out from behind the house and said,
"Got you!" He caught up with the family a bit after that before leaving.
Never again did we prank call the Volturi after that. Well, we didn't attempt again yet, at least. It doesn't mean we won't ever, it was really fun.
A/N: Please review or I will send the immortal children made by the cat vamps to attack the Cullens in the middle of the night.