Slightly AU, cuz Uriel is still alive. Not pure crack this time, but still pretty silly and some OOC-ness. And I make fun of Anna a lot.
For JuliaAurelia, who mentioned that Anna needs to keep her hands off Dean. Then this story was born.
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.
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Dean sat on a stool in a deserted bar, a shot glass in his hand. He was waiting for Sam to return from doing his business so they could go back the motel and sleep. Their last hunt had taken until five am, explaining the empty bar. He yawned, letting his eyes slip shut.
"Hi Deeeeean," cooed a female voice, over to his left. Dean groaned inwardly; he didn't look to see who it was, his fears confirmed when two pale hands slipped in front of his eyes.
"Guess who?" Dean resisted the urge to roll his eyes,
"Hi Anna." She giggled and removed her hands,
"How'd you know it was me?" Because I made the mistake of sleeping with you once and now you won't leave me alone!
"Lucky guess." Replied Dean, forcing the smile to remain on his face. This became increasingly difficult when she climbed onto his lap.
"So I was thinking, we should hang out today. You haven't got any plans, have you?" Dean froze, as Anna's hand started stroking absent-mindedly up his arm.
"Uh, yeah actually. Sam and I have this hunt, and we have leads. And this person got killed a few days ago, and we should probably, uh, check it out." Sam chose that moment to enter the room.
"Sammy!" cried Dean, "Tell Anna all about that thing we're hunting." Sam looked blank for a second, and then caught the look on Dean's face and Anna perched on his lap.
"Oh yeah," said Sam, trying to sound convincing, "I was just doing some research on the guy that got killed and it's really weird. I think we should call Bobby and ask him about it." The room was silent. Both boys kept their pretenses up, hoping that Anna would buy it.
"Ok," she finally said, mournfully, "I'll see you later Dean,"
Dean slumped in his seat; Sam chuckled and sat down next to him.
"Sammy," said Dean exhaustedly "Never become an actor."
"You should be thanking me," Sam retorted, "Next time I think I'll leave you at the mercy of the horny angel from hell."
"You wouldn't!" Dean sounded horrified. Sam grinned, he had blackmail material now!
"If you annoyed me enough, sure I would." Dean gulped.
"I just want her to go away! I know I'm irresistible, but this is getting ridiculous. Be thankful you aren't this attractive, Sammy."
Sam laughed again, picking up his beer.
"You know what you should do?" asked Sam, thoughtfully
"What?" Dean grunted
"Well, Anna is obsessing over you because she hasn't go anything else to do,"
"Hey!"
"So all you need to do is find someone else for her to crush on." Sam finished. Both brothers sipped their drinks.
"Ok, what other guys do we know?"
Plan A: Bobby
Bobby scrubbed a hand over his beard, and headed over to the door, grumbling.
"Hi Bobby!" He was greeted with the sight of both Winchester boys standing on his doorway, wearing big toothy grins, and shifting their weight almost guiltily.
"Hi boys," he replied cautiously "what brings you here?"
"Oh, no reason," sang Sam
"Apart from that we just really wanted to see you!" added Dean. The grins got wider, bouncing on their heels.
"Christo," said Bobby. Nothing happened, so he let them in.
"So Bobby," said Dean casually, sitting down, "met any ladies lately?"
"No…"
"Would you like to?"
"Not really," Sam and Dean exchanged nervous looks. Bobby lost his patience,
"I don't scare easy, and you boys are creeping me out. What's going on?" The hairs on Dean's neck stood up as he felt that presence again.
"Um, Sam, I think I left something in the car. It's really heavy too, wanna help me carry it?"
"Sure thing Dean!" Bobby blinked, he didn't think he'd ever seen them move that fast. Then he heard an unfamiliar voice say,
"Hi, who are you?" Bobby turned around and saw a young woman with red hair standing in the room.
"Bobby Singer, and you?"
"My name's Anna. Have you seen Dean anywhere?"
"Anna the angel?" asked Bobby, dodging her question. There was something unnerving about her.
"The very same, Stud," she purred, stepping forward.
"So uh," Bobby gulped, she kept coming closer! "Why are you looking for Dean?" She paused and considered him for a moment, then smiled. Bobby thought it looked like a leer more than anything.
"Doesn't matter now, I'd much rather have a more rugged, mature guy." She batted her eyelashes. Bobby shuddered.
Sam and Dean crouched behind a battered van listening intently. So far, they hadn't heard anything. Then suddenly they heard Bobby emit a very un-manly squawk preceding a gun shot. The brothers were frozen in fear, until they saw Bobby storm out of his house holding his rifle, looking murderous
"You brought her here! I'm going to throttle you!"
The boys ran for their lives. Plan A: failed.
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A/N: Like it so far? Let me know?
Shooshkipoo