Two Birds with One Stone
Author's Notes: This was just something I thought of while I was bored to tears. What must've been going through Absalom's mind as he was plotting Amnon's death? What do you think he could've been thinking at the time? Here's my take on it.
Even now—even as I pace back and forth in my chamber—even now I plot the death of Amnon. Firstborn among the Sons of David. Amnon. First among the Princes of Israel. Amnon, the Darling of Jerusalem. Amnon. The next Star of Judah and Bethlehem. Amnon who will reign after our Father David. Amnon who ravished my beloved sister Tamar.
Even now, I see his dead and bloody form before me. Lifeless. Even as he lives, I see his soul going into the depths of Sheol. Even now, I stare at my hands and see his blood soiling my fingers. And I? I smile! I smile at the thought!
How will it be done? A feast? Yes, indeed! A feast—the sheep shearing festival I hold each year. Yes, I will invite him to it! And then... And then... I shall command my servants to slay him before the whole company of guests. The Princes of Israel. Before the sun sets, all will gather round and marvel at my brother Amnon. They will say amongst themselves, Is this the same Amnon, a Warrior-Prince, now slain? Is this the same Amnon who is to be ruler after David the King? Chief of the Princes in Israel?
Tamar shall be eternally grateful to me for this deed. Yes, she shall exult in my triumph! She shall take the lute and sing before all Israel—and abroad—how she was avenged by her brother Absalom. She shall be forever indebted to me. But I? I shall look upon his corpse and smile—as even now I am smiling at the very thought of it.
Behold! Amnon the Fallen! Amnon, once Chief among Princes! Behold! Amnon the Ravisher! At last, he shall feel the cold steal of my blade upon his throat, even as my sister Tamar felt his bitter kisses upon her throat! He shall feel it burn and sting with poison as it sinks into his bowels, yes, even as my sister Tamar's maidenhead was invaded by Amnon's shaft! I shall spill his blood, even as he spilled his seed upon my beloved Tamar! The hunter shall be the hunted!
Why have I no council, you ask? I cannot tell of my plans to anyone but Tamar. The lame Mephibosheth—son of Jonathan—cannot be in my council. He is much too loyal to David. And as all Israel knows, Amnon is the Darling of my Father. Mephibosheth, loyal to the king his adoptive father, shall tell of my plans. They will crumble to the earth like stone ground into fine dust. I cannot risk it.
Adonijah is on my side. However, he is overzealous and may ruin my plans. I'm afraid his tongue is too loose and he will not be able to hold his silence long. He is as excited as I about seeing our brother Amnon fall.
It is also clear to me that Jonadab is Amnon's accomplice. It was he—that dog—that dead dog! It was he that counseled Amnon to seduce and ravish my beloved Tamar! Surely a traitor like him may not be included in my council.
I am my own council! Uncle Joab—the fool! He is also loyal to David my Father, even unto death! So is Uncle Abishai, I am sure!
The King—our Father—is too biased. He will hear none of my petitions, how can he, therefore, hear of my plans? He will hear none of it! He will have nothing to do with it!
And so I am my own council. I plot alone. No, not alone.
Note alone.
For Tamar is with me—at my side. It is for your sake, beloved sister, that I plot, thus. You shall see no more of Amnon's face nor hear of him again, once I have dispatched him, hence.
A bird upon the roof disturbs my thoughts. I must find it again. Yes, indeed! A bird! No, not one bird but two! Indeed! Two birds with one stone!
At last, my plan is set! I shall dispatch Amnon! In doing so, I kill two birds with one stone. By killing Amnon, I avenge the beloved Tamar. And in doing so, I secure my claim to the Throne as second eldest. Once Amnon is gone, I shall have the crown—not he! I shall at last clutch the scepter in my hands and sit—o! to sit upon the Throne of Israel and Judah!
It is I who shall ascend to the Throne in my Father's stead. And all Israel—from Dan to Beersheba—shall be mine!
It shall be I and not Amnon—I who shall sit and judge!
Two birds. Yes, two birds, with one stone.
They say my Father was once skilled in the use of the sling, in his long-gone youth. I, too, can claim that I am skilled with the sling!
My Father slew a giant—I shall attempt to slay two birds with only one stone. Yes, I shall do so! I shall avenge my sister Tamar of the crime that has been done to her.
I shall secure my claim to the Throne of Israel and Judah. Yes, I shall kill two birds with one stone. I shall accomplish much while appearing to do so little. In the eyes of our people, the slaying of Amnon shall seem a personal move. A move to avenge the beloved. But in my eyes, it is both a personal and a political move. A move to avenge the beloved—the wronged. A move to secure my claim to the Throne of Israel.
Two birds. Yes, to birds. One stone. Thank you, friend bird—you, perched upon the parapet and singing so joyously—thank you for pointing what was not clear to me, at first. But now, it is clear. It is as plain as day to me. I know now what I must do.
Yes, I shall dispatch to birds with one stone.
But you, friend bird, will be spared. You are a great councilor. Wiser than Hushai the Archite. Wise than my Father David. Wiser than Ahitophel. Wiser than Achish, King of Gath of long ago.
Yes, I shall kill two birds. Yes, even two birds with one stone.