This I never got to Tell

Soft is your gaze, searching my heart

You, only a squire, but acting your part

You are a mystery to me, dear

I watch you practice and wish you were near

Can we cross this bridge where love supports us?

Or will it snap and let me fall?

To let me drown in it all

Emotion, fear and pain

This love seems only in vain

But will you please listen to my heart's song?

None of what it says is a lie, nor is it wrong

I love you, lady knight; I have loved you since we were pages

Can you accept this offer, live with it through the ages?

All I ask is for love

Not sex, not a trophy to prize

Only love

Is that suddenly a surprise?

I will not hurt you, I swear

The pain and hurt I will bear

I look to the sky and wonder now

How?

Why?

Did you take those arrows and want to die?

Your parents are in grief

Your friends feel like ghosts

But it is I who will miss you the most

I remember the feel of your lips, the heat and tease

The gentleness of your touch, like that of a soft ocean breeze

I was dancing with you, to the music in your voice

Did I then have a choice?

Your eyes so deep

The wound spilled blood as you weep

I couldn't help only stare as your life faded

You are safe in my arms, from the tears blood and gore

Your soul is free now, because now you are no more

Soft was your gaze, searching my heart

You, once were a lady knight, acted your part

You were a mystery to me, dear

I once watched as you practiced training and wished you were near

Could we have crossed this bridge where love supported us?

Or has it snapped and let me fall?

To let me drown in it all

Emotion, fear and pain

This love seemed only in vain

For it never gained

I watch now as you are buried deep beneath the earth

I see the fire burning orange in the hearth

I hear your laugh in my ear

But it was only my imagination, a mental jeer

I remember you died that day on the field

To the warlord you were forced to yield

He cut you down with a yell

I was suddenly plunged into a living hell

Wiping blood from your face I let tears fall to the dirt

The wound was spilling red

Soon you would be dead

I banish that thought, bandage the wound and lift you onto the saddle

I ride hard through the screams and orders, the chaos and battle

I reached shelter and dismounted but when I lifted you I found your skin cold

The blood had seeped through the wrappings and now stained my hand

You had been so bold

You had defended this land, until your last breath

Until beckoned you were to death

This I never got to tell

I never properly said:

"I love you, Kel"