Slave, fetch me some cookies!
Disclaimer: I do not own SSBM or the other characters that will pop up later on. Please don't sue me!
Good news: this fic is worm free. Meaning no one will get the shiv from a hacker. Yes, I know: it was here before. I just had a lot projects & work time has been to now 13 hours per day for the last ten weeks. (Even on Sunday.) So I wanted to bring it back from the editing boards. More will be up in March. If I didn't: I would have regretted it.
Summary: one night, some of the fellow smashers were playing a poker game. Someone gets cocky & bets themselves for the win. Well, it was a bust. Now, that some one has to now to do everything that the winner commands. Others get in on the action & well…hell is running loose. Hi-lairity.
Warning: foul language, a touch of S&M, and most of all, some Creed™ Bashing! (They're gone forever, Yay! XD)
Note: Mewtwo's speeches are in italic.
Chapter 1; You got owned
Another day gone, another attempt to see who beats who around the Smash mansion over. As the sun hits dusk, most of the residents decided to hit the towns. The Mario Bros, the three femme fatales (Peach, Zelda, & Samus) Link, Roy, Marth, & three of the pokemon (Pikachu, Pichu, & Jigglypuff) went out to enjoy the nightlife. Kirby and Yoshi had their usual "who has the biggest appetite" contest at the kitchen.
Mr. Game & Watch and D.K were at the A.V room, playing retro video games. (Unknown to the other, they were using the Atari system and played Pong)
Nana, Popo, Ness & Y. Link were out like a light in their respective beds: courtesy from Mewtwo's Disable attack.
Fox & Falco were in yet another mediocre save the universe mission. In reality: they were just going to egg some houses & play pranks throughout the town.
Andnow, that brings us to the basement of the mansion. There was a poker game in progress. Bowser was out of the game: wasted on the floor, two beer bottles in his mouth and tried to sing some Creed songs. Only to be plastered by the other player's trash & hearing them shout, "Creed suck!" "Scott is a Pearl Jam Wannabe reject!" "Yeah, only John Edwards could compete against a total douche bag such as Scott." Gannondorf & Captain Falcon kept their poker faces straight: each had a crappy hand. Doc had kept on popping in the nacho chips in his mouth. And that leads us to the last & the very least smasher/ poker player: Mewtwo. Though he has the most powerful mind and fighting abilities, he sure does have a big ego. But this times: he cannot use his psychic powers to 'help' him win the game (He tried that once against Master Hand, and the result: he had to clean the bathrooms after Tijuana poppers night. Shudders.)
"(Curse you, you ignoramus piece of cotton fabric! If it were not for you, these simple minded baffoon's money would had gone to a much needed benefit: my hands...or paws...hmmm, why do I even have knobs on them?)"
Doc dealed out the cards. "Okay ladies, last game. I get two, Falcon, (three) three. Gannon (two) okay: two…. After the cards were dealt, the cocky doctor riled up at the veteran F-zero racer. "Hurry the hell up, Falcon! I got to check if my (hiccup) wallet could hold more of your money. Ha haw!" Pissed, the half-drunk falcon gave him the finger and pounded his chips in the middle of the table. "Go …(burp!) give 'Scotty' over a prostate exam. I'm in, I'm in, I'll raise you …TWO DOLLARS!"
The whole room went silent, even Bowser, who had stopped singing in off key "Higher". "Too rich for my blood, I fold," Gannondorf grunted at his hand & chugged down a bottle of sarsaparilla. Doc did not want risk losing. "Damn, I fold as well. Hey, puss-in- no- boots, are you in?" Holding up his hands, Mewtwo could not believe what he had: a straight flush of hearts. Now, normally, he would freak out in joy over such a hand, but since Captain perv made a bold move, he thought that it was obviously either a higher hand or a bluff. But there was a problem: he had no more money.
All of his earnings from the tournaments go to his wife: Clair, theBlackthorn City gym leader.
(Weird! & somewhat EWWW! XP.And don't ask about the honemoon;that's Rated-M.)
And he knows what happens if she finds out about his vice is at it again…
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(Flashback)
Back at the training room, AKA the Torture Chamber: inside the Blackthorn gym in Johto, we see Mewtwo getting whipped by his wife, Clair. (Note: She's the queen of S&M)
"You jackass! What possessed you to bet our honey room savings on some stupid Ponyta race?" Pleading for mercy, he tried to lie through his teeth. After all, he's not one to admit that he sucks in gambling on the ponies."Honey! You gotta believe me. That race was fixed. They had a ringer: it was a damn Deoxys with a Ponyta mask! You've got to believe m-" That is when he saw her bringing out a boom-box from nowhere. Wanting to run or fly away with his life, Mewtwo panicked and dashed for the front door. In a Indiana Jones kind of way, Clair brought her whip up to the air, & with the most skills of an expertise, she lashed to her idiotic husband (who knew?) and made him trp to the floor.
Dazed, the clone attempted to crawl to safety, if it were not for the foot on his tail. "Naughty, naughty kitty.You know what this means don't you?" True fear filled his eyes, knowing well what she was about to do. "NOOOOOOOOOOO! Have compassion!"All of his pleas were in vain as to what barbarous acts she would applied. "Not this time, for now it's time to whip some decent senses into you!" Pressing the play button, the most horrible thing that he knows was about to commence: she started to play Devo's greatest song 'Whip it"…
(When a problems comes along- you must whip it!)
Going along with the catchy lyrics, Clair began to give Mewtwo the 'help' that he wassoooooo long overdue for. "Remeber this 'honey', if a problem does indeed come along: well now you'll know what happens next..."
(End Flashback)
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To this day, whenever he hears that song, he leaps out & screams out in bloody murder. (What. A...Wuss!)
"(No money and this time, I got a great hand. There is got to be a way to score this big pay…)" A light bulb popped on top of his head. Bowser opened up one eye to see that bulb. "Heeeeyy, is that a light bulb on your head?
"Shut up & dream of being In Creed, you aqua phobic turtle!" Stifling back some tears of pain, Bowser screamed like a little girl. "I thought I trusted you with that secret!"
Any ways, Mewtwo had thought of a last resort effort to score that whole two dollars. "Listen, Capt. Rim job. Yes, we all know you try to get insurance money the dirty ways. I may not have any money with me right now,"
"No money, no go."
But Mewtwo refuses to be denied of his 'winning hand'.
"I have one thing that might interest you. How about this: If I win, I get the loot. However, if I lose: I have to obey everything that you command for three weeks. No questions asked. Anything. What do you say?"
Falcon thought about this for a moment. Doc & Gannondorf were arm wrestling over the only bottle of sarsaparilla not under the past out Koopa's belly.
Finally, ole' Capt. gave his answer. "If I win, I can make you…go on a panty raid? Cool! All right then, I accept. But you can not back out, or I'll have to call somebody's ball & chain about a particular poker game." Mewtwo gritted his teeth, but knew that he to take the risks: it's all for the money.
"Deal, here's my hand; a straight flush. Read it & weep!" Just as the happy go lucky clone went for his bounty of fortune, he was stopped when Falcon's hands were on top of Mewtwo's hands. "Royal flush! Now, who's my bitch? You are, and I'm yo DADDY!"
The gerudo king couldn't keep his laughter contained. "BWA HA HA HA! You got owned, Puss! Now your life is in even more hell, BWA HA HA HA HA HAA!" Everybody else (sans Bowser, who now is having some night terrors) laughed at his misfortune. Mewtwo felt like shit, he was from the top of the mountain, to the depths of hell. There was no going back for him. Either do what he is told or face the wrath of his wife. "(That's a no brainer- I gotta (gulp)… I gotta obey vroom vroom sphincter head's command. I just hope that word of this doesn't get to Clair…) what is your first command…(ughhh) master?"
Feeling true power at his disposal, the moronic pervert made the most devious, heinous act he could have think of at the moment. "Gannon, get your camera phone out, it's time for a 'Kodak moment'. Mewtwo, as your first order…you shall…KISS BOWSER!"
Utter disgust & fear crept up to Mewtwo mind. "(I made the most stupidest mistake in my life… Then again, it beats the hell out of going back home...) I...hate you…"
"I hate you what?" Capt. gave an evil smile.
Forced to squint his eyes, Mewtwo gave a gruff response."…master."
Being motioned to undertaking his master's sick sadistic fix, Mewtwo's face paled as he neared the hammered & sleeping Bowser. Gannondorf had already brought his camera phone. Doc was rolling around the floor, laughing so hard, that he started to suffocate.
"Pucker up, slave. For the next three weeks: you are all mine to obey..." Fading out, Captain mocked his slave by making kissing sounds.
This is it the moment of truth: would Mewtwo actually kiss Bowser? Will his wife find out that his solu now belongs to the horn dog in the blus spandex? And who knew that Bowser was afraid of water?
To be continued…
Author's Notes: Back from a little hiatus, this story had been in the process of...alirght, fine! I tried to figured out which chapters follows which. That and choosing what many diabolical ways I can torture Mewtwo.Two that I'm deifinitely sticking to is theStinkfist & the Body guard chapters.
If you are wondering why I made Mewtwo married to Clair, here's the reason...
I say so! Nyah nyah, nye nyah nyahh.
Next: Chapter 2: Hot cars, hot food; hot damn! (How will our star kitty feel, when Falcon orders him to fix a race & order some spicy food?)