Disclaimer - Not mine, dont own em, not making any money...just like to please the muses and bunnies every now and then!

Answer to Dare number 5 in the Due South Forum - . Have the original Ray go toupee shopping. Bonus if he tries on a Mohawk. Double bonus if he seriously considers buying it.

Frasier Snr in Italics

"It's very nice Ray" said Frasier, a little concerned at his friend's choice. "Certainly..unique"

Ray eyed himself in the mirror once more and furrowed his brow. He'd always promised himself it would never come to this; he'd always felt he'd had a certain je ne sais quoi about his looks. He had a style, (questionable, according to Francesca,) a quality, (of sorts according to Elaine). He liked how he looked, ok so his hairline had started to recede at an accelerated rate since his mid twenties, but he'd lived with it. He'd gotten the girl hadn't he? Ok, so then he'd lost the girl soon after, but he'd gotten women since then, so obviously something about him was attractive, despite being slightly shinier on top.

The hairpiece, which lay precariously over his head, seemed a little abnormal. He wasn't used to seeing anything up there, part from the odd hat offering warmth in the freezing Chicago winter days. He eyed Frasier's reflection in the mirror. Frasier seemed slightly uneasy and was eyeing the mannequin heads surrounding them with a pondering expression. It was then that Ray saw a hairpiece unlike all the others. He smiled and turned, pulling the piece lighting his head off and tossing it aside, before approaching the mannequin head which held his new found interest.

Frasier followed his friend's trajectory and frowned as Ray paused in front of another table of mannequins. The heads held a handful of the more unusual sought after hairpieces. Ray picked up on the mannequins and turned to him with a smile reaching from ear to ear. Frasier was a little unsettled by the selection of his friend and wracked his brain for a way to tell Ray that in no uncertain terms was he to choose the piece, without offending his friends taste.

"Now this, this is fabulous...what do you think Frase?"

Ray was already turning back to the mirror, setting the mannequin head on the table set out. Frasier raised his brows and looked at Dief for a little encouragement in the honesty department.

"I'm not sure it's the most suitable piece for you Ray" started Frasier, as his friend lifted the hairpiece and placed it atop his head, adjusting it accordingly before dropping his hands and grinning at his reflection.

"Are you kidding...this is great" replied Ray, "I mean this, this will have people turning heads"

"I'm just not ...sure" Frasier stammered searching for words. He felt it his duty to make sure his friend did not leave 'Crowning Glory' with the piece.

"This is what I need, a whole new look. Perhaps Franny and Elaine have been right all this time...you know all these other toupees have felt so alien to me...but this...this I could get used to"

"Ray I really don't think."

"What?" said Ray turning to face Frasier "Look at me Frasier, this is a great look"

Diefenbaker stood looking offended and scurried off under a table, offended that Ray could even jokingly place the piece atop his head. Frasier looked at the piercing spikes starting at the top of his friend's forehead and causing a perfect arc down to the tip of his neck and frowned. He simply had no words. Not even a story of his childhood could help him out of this one.

"My god son...what happened to the chump you usually work with"

'Not now Dad' thought Frasier

"My god son, he is the chump. Why is he wearing a porcupine on his head? Is it a new type of hat they wear in Chicago these days?"

Frasier eyed his father who was sitting by a mannequin head and toying with one of the toupees with his fingers.

"This one looks like a drowned rat, but it would be a damned sight better than that thing he's parading round. He's even scared the wolf"

With that thought Frasier Snr dropped the toupee onto the counter top and stood, perusing the other merchandise. Frasier picked up the discarded Toupee and offered it to his friend.

"Perhaps you should try on a few other styles Ray. Perhaps some which are more beneficial for your work. I'm not sure how many people would take you seriously walking around with that"

"Oh please, the crooks would fear me"

"I'm sure they would Ray. However with us taking on so much undercover work as of late, perhaps a less conspicuous style would suffice"

Frasier gave a silent sigh of relief as Ray took off the Mohawk and placed it back in its rightful place on the Mannequin head and took the toupee Frasier was offering. He shook his head and placed it back on the counter top.

"Not that one, looks like a drowned rat"

Ray sighed and tried on a few more styles, none seemed to impress him as much as the Mohawk had, but perhaps Benny was right. Not exactly the most conspicuous of items to wear and he doubted Welsh would be impressed by it.

"You know Benny, I'm just not feeling right in any of these others"

"Perhaps you need more time to think about it Ray" offered his friend "You could come back later after perusing over the idea"

"Yeah maybe your right Benny" agreed Ray.

He took another look in mirror. It hadn't bothered him much that his hairline was receding even more in his later years. The job didn't exactly help in the stress department, but hey, he scrubbed up well enough to still get the girl every once and a while. Perhaps this whole toupee business was a bad idea. He glanced down at the Mohawk and grinned.

"I could always get one"

"Ray I don't think..."

"Oh come on Frase, it'll be a great perk at the office parties. Hewey and Louie will love it..."

Ray picked up the Mohawk and headed for the counter before Benton could object further. Dief followed tail between his legs, refusing to meet Benton's eye and waited by the door. Benny felt embarrassed and guilty that money was exchanged for the hairpiece. But Ray seemed quite content and pleased when he exited 'Crowning Glory' with a purchase.

"Think I should wear it now"

"I don't.."

"Nah, think I'll keep it for the office party" continued Ray "Great piece though don't you think?"

"Indeed Ray" replied Frasier.

"Chump" echoed a familiar voice from the doorway "Should have gone for the drowned rat"

The End