Pug (A Pansy Parkinson One-Shot)
Disclaimer: Oh, come on, people. If I owned HP, do you really think that I would be posting stories on here? Please.
Author's Note – I just got this story idea when I was listening to music and I just had to write it down. Pansy is ragged on all the time – including by me – so I want to give her a voice about her life and her view on Draco. Italics are thoughts. Enjoy!
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I was standing there in the middle of the Great Hall. I looked about as small as an ant and everyone was magnified by 100. "Bitch! Slut!" I close my hands over my ears. "Whore! You don't deserve to be a Slytherin!" I whimpered, pleading for it to stop.
"Stop…"
"You're nobody!" A cruel, cold chuckle slithered into my ears.
"Stop…"
"Go die already!" Their faces were ugly, contorted with nothing but pure, unadulterated hatred.
"Please, stop…"
"PUG!"
"STOP!" I screamed myself awake, my covers almost choking me as I jerked upright, panting and sweating. It took me a couple minutes to calm myself down. My skin felt like it was being pricked with a thousand needles.
"Pansy, get a grip. It was only a dream." Only a dream.
I looked at the clock. 6:00 AM. "Might as well get up," I said to myself under my breath. Why try go back to sleep after that dream? I slipped silently to the bathroom and managed to succeed without waking up the two other girls in my dormitory. Well, Millicent could sleep through a troll stampede, so maybe it was not that much of an accomplishment.
I turned on the water and stepped into the slippery tub, my feet reacting to the cold porcelain. The hot drops of water slid down my back, but still I shivered. That dream unnerved me more than I thought. I smiled sadly to myself. Well, that's what people think of me, even though they don't say it.
Oh, I knew it. People think I'm stupid so I don't hear, but I do hear. I know the whispers in the hall inevitably carry my name most of the time. The downcast eyes betray them. I know everything people say, believe about me. I try to portray that I don't care, but deep, deep inside, it cuts my heart to the core.
I stepped out of the shower, wrapped the fluffy towel around my body, and stared in the mirror. I scoffed at my reflection. It scoffed back.
"Pug." That word. I hate it more than any other words I hear. Bitch. Whore. Slut. Those hurt, but they don't slash at my heart like that other word. See? I don't even like hearing myself say it.
I stared at my reflection, smiling sadly. It seems like I do that a lot lately.
I walked back to my room. My bed looked ruffled and even angry, like a hippogriff in a huff. Suddenly, I didn't feel like being in the room anymore. I quickly threw on my green robe and raced out of there.
I walked to the Common Room and lit the fire, stirring it to a healthy, lusty blaze. I sat down in Draco's favorite armchair, a plush evergreen one right in front of the fire. He always sits in this chair when he is in the Common Room. The unlucky Slytherin who is sitting in it when Draco comes in knows to leave. No one contradicts Draco. He is truly a prince in this house.
I sigh, imagining my breath being sucked away and consumed by the fire. Draco. Is it disgusting that I think about him all the time? I don't think I could survive a day without seeing him. Just seeing him in the hallways is enough. He doesn't even have to look at me. Is that pathetic? I think so.
I am in love with him, yet I keep thinking about how pathetic I am for loving him. I don't even understand myself anymore. Great.
I know he doesn't love me back. Like I said before, I'm not stupid. I see his smirks. I see the offhand, dismissive way he talks to me. I see the disrespectful way he treats me – blowing me off to be with another one of his beautiful fan girls, laughing in my face when I stutter, or badmouthing me when I turn my back. I see all the girls falling at his feet just like me, just wishing, hoping, wanting. I understand how they feel. I hate how they all have a better chance than I do of getting him. So close for me, yet so very far away.
The clock started chiming 8 o'clock, startling me out my thoughts. Already two hours went by and I didn't even notice. Well, maybe it is easier not to notice. It certainly seems easier to just block out everything instead of seeing and listening to all the hateful things they do and say. I got up and went back to my room. Millicent was already up, looking for her hairbrush. She gave me a curt nod of acknowledgment and continued looking for her hairbrush. I got dressed quickly and went down to breakfast. Maybe some food will make me feel a bit better after my bad morning.
Then the whispers started again.
"There she is. I can't stand her."
"The way she throws herself at Draco is so pathetic."
"She is so disgusting. How does poor Draco deal with her?"
"She is such a bitch."
"She is such a whore, too. She needs to leave Draco alone."
"She looks like a pug, doesn't she?"
I walked faster. I don't think the whispers will ever stop. I feel a tear creep out of the corner of my eye, but I don't bother to wipe it away.
SMACK!
"What the hell, Parkinson? Don't you watch where you're going?"
Oh no. I know that voice. Draco. And I ran into him?! I could feel my face turn beet red with embarrassment. "I-I'm so s-sorry, Draco. I didn't mean –"
"Whatever, Parkinson. Don't worry about it." He reached out a hand to me. What? Is he? Is he really offering to help me up?! He rolled his eyes at me. "C'mon, Parkinson, do you want my help or not?"
"Oh, sorry." I grasped his hand and he pulled me up. His hand…it is so strong. Thoughts and feelings flooded my brain. Admiration. Longing. Desire. Maybe even love. So much for making the morning better. "Thanks."
"No problem." And with that, he walked away. And I watched him. I could feel the floodgates open and tears started pouring out of the corners of my eyes. Rushing to an alcove, I quickly pulled some tissues out of my robe to dry my eyes. A sigh escaped my lips, telling the whole school what they already knew.
I'm just a pug in love with a prince.
Author's PS- What do you think? Reviews and constructive criticism welcome.