A/N: Alright so this is the first LA story that I've written on my own. It's short, only 4 chapters and it does touch on a subject that some might have issue with. I don't mean to offend anyone by writing about this subject and I'm sorry if it upsets you.
I want to thank Tammy and Mel who both read this before posting and didn't think I was insane.
Kensi pulled up to Deeks apartment, a case of bear and a bag of greasy fast food on the seat next to her. It was Friday night, and like every Friday, one of them would pick up food and booze while the other would find some cheesy reality show or movie to watch. They would just hang out together and while the time away in companionable silence only to wake entangled in the other by morning.
She got out of the car, quickly grabbing the stuff, and made her way up to Deeks door. The lights were on which meant that he was home which was a good sign. She had shown up to his place before only to find out that he had gone for a late night surf session.
"Deeks open up!" Kensi yelled when she knocked on the door.
When she didn't get an answer, she knocked again and was once again met with silence. "Deeks?" She asked and tried the door, only to find it unlocked.
Pushing open the door, she walked into his place to find his living room empty of any signs that he had been there. Knowing that he wouldn't leave his lights on if he was out, she started to make her way from room to room, being met with the same emptiness each time.
It wasn't until she reached his bedroom that a noise caught her attention. The steady drip of liquid against tiled floors drew her eyes to the slightly opened bathroom door.
"Deeks, are you in there?" She sighed lightly, thinking that maybe he had fallen asleep in the bath…Again. "Deeks I swear, if I walk into the bathroom and you're naked, I'll hurt you."
When she still didn't get an answer, worry really started to set in. And as she reached up and placed her hand against the door, her heart started to pick up pace until it felt like it was going to burst out of her chest at any given moment.
"Deeks," Kensi said again and stepped into the bathroom only to stop short at the sight that she met, a sight that made her stomach contract and her heart stop.
Deeks was on the floor in just his boxers, his skin chalk pale except for the red gashes that adorned each wrist. Blood was pooled around his wrists and under his hands in crimson lakes. A bloodied razor was just a few inches to his side.
It took Kensi a second to shake herself out of her shock and drop to the floor next to him to roll him onto his back and search for a pulse. She let out a heavy sigh of relief when she felt a weak but steady pulse under her fingers as she dialed 9-1-1 with the other hand.
Kensi then dropped the phone to the floor after talking to a dispatcher, and pulled Deeks head into her lap, her hands going to his still bleeding wrists, holding them tightly as if to stop the blood from seeping out.
"Stay with me Deeks, stay with me." Kensi kept repeating, tears rolling down her cheeks.
Before she knew it, the place was swarming with paramedics. One of them had to coax Kensi to let go of Deeks, her fear that if she let go of him she would never see him again was coursing through her system like a drug.
"Ma'am we need to move." One of the paramedics ushered Kensi into the back of the ambulance where she sat in a corner, out of the way.
She pulled her knees up to her chest, not caring that her blood covered hands were staining her favorite jeans. The only thing on her mind was getting Deeks the medical help the he needed, and keeping him alive. She couldn't lose him. She just couldn't lose her partner, her best friend, to something like this.
It was a couple minutes before she realized that the paramedic who had followed her into the ambulance was trying to talk to her.
"What?" She quietly croaked out, her throat feeling incredibly tight and dry.
"Does he have any history of depression?" The paramedic asked.
Kensi wet her lips and shook her head. "N-No." She said.
"Has he ever attempted suicide before?"
"Not that I know of." Kensi shook her head again. "I…He wouldn't do this. He wouldn't try to…"
"Okay." The other paramedic said in a placating way that irritated Kensi.
"I've known him for years. He has never once acted like he wanted to end his life. He would not do this." Kensi stressed.
"Do you know anyone that would want him dead?"
"He's a cop." Kensi answered.
They must have gotten what she meant because they fell silent and stopped asking her questions, instead focusing solely on stopping the bleeding and wrapping Deeks wrists. When they got to the hospital, Kensi was directed to the waiting room while Deeks was rushed to the trauma ward. When he was out of sight, she slipped her phone out of her pocket and sent out an agent in distress signal, knowing that they would all get the alert and location to find her in. It was easier than having to explain everything over the phone.
As predicted, they all showed up quickly, looking a bit haggard and very worried. Sam was the first to spot Kensi, taking in her appearance and stopping short at the crimson stains on her hands and clothes.
"Kensi, what happened?" He demanded to know, crouching down in front of her.
Kensi bit her bottom lip and told them everything that she knew which really wasn't much. When she was done, they fell into silence, contemplating the possibility of Deeks doing something like this.
"Deeks doesn't seem the type of person to do something like this." Callen stated and leaned against the wall behind him.
"I agree." Sam said and sighed. "Plus there are normally signs that someone is going to kill themselves, none of which were shown by Deeks."
"Yeah but if he didn't do this then who did?" Eric asked.
"Deeks a cop, he has enemies I'm sure." Nell pointed out and sank down in the chair next to Kensi who had started picking at her hands.
"Try to kill someone and stage it to look like a suicide…It's possible." Hetty nodded.
"He wouldn't do this." Kensi said with conviction.
Silence fell again and was only broken hours later when a nurse walked into the waiting room and asked for Deeks family.
"How is he?" Hetty asked.
"He's lucky." The nurse said. "Though the cuts were deep and will leave some impressive scars, he was found quickly enough that the blood lose wasn't too substantial. He is on blood transfusions now though to replenish his blood count, but in a few days' time he should be back to normal."
"Can we see him?" Kensi asked.
"You could, but he is sleeping and in fact it wouldn't be surprising for him to sleep for a few days." The nurse stated.
"Ms. Blye, how about you get washed up and visit with Mr. Deeks for a while?" Hetty offered and then looked around at the others. "I think we have some work to do."
"Thank you." Kensi said and watched them leave before she found a bathroom to wash her hands.
She stayed in the bathroom for a while, her hand clasped tightly against the sink as she tried to calm her beating heart and nerves that were still filtering through her. He was going to be okay, he didn't die. He would be able to go home in a couple days.
Taking a deep breath, she walked out of the bathroom and followed the nurse to the room that they had put Deeks in. The first thing she noticed was the he looked so out of place among the machines that he was hooked up to. His wrists were heavily bandaged and he was just as pale as he had been hours ago when she had found him.
The steady beep of the heart monitor and the rise and fall of his chest had her relaxing further. They were confirmation that the pale seemingly lifeless man was indeed alive and going to be fine.
"Visiting hours are actually over but I can give you a few minutes." The nurse said with a small smile.
"Thank you." Kensi said, not taking her eyes off Deeks.
The nurse left moments later with the promise of returning soon, but Kensi didn't pay attention. Her hand slowly reached out and she brushed the tips of her fingers against Deeks stubbled cheek.
"We'll find who did this to you." She said so lowly that only Deeks could hear, if he heard her at all. "I promise." She added and pulled away to turn and walk out of the room, determined to keep her promise to him.