"I want you to know something, before- well, just before."
"Is something wrong?"
"No, I... no. I don't know how to tell you."
For the record, Madge hates that she has money. Money has never given her anything worth remembering.
In fact, all money really does is take things away.
Her father works all the time. Madge is not being over dramatic about it; he really works all the time.
She has barely ever spent time with her dad, and what little time she used to have with him when she was younger, well, it mostly involved sitting quietly in his office while he made phone calls.
Everything was always more important to him than she ever was.
Money took away her chance to ever be like anyone else.
Madge liked to think she was a nice person. It couldn't be her personality that made both the town and Seam kids treat her like a virus.
They don't like her because she was different... different because of money.
Money can't help her mom.
Okay, well, that isn't entirely true. If there's anything money's good for, it's that. Morphling does not come cheap.
Madge isn't totally ungrateful, but it's moods like the one she's in now that really make her forget the 'good' things in life.
"Just blurt it out, Undersee, I'm sure I'll manage fine."
"I'm sure you will. It's me that's the problem.
Madge doesn't mean to wear nicer clothes than everyone else in the District, but she can't just waste what her parents buy her either.
She doesn't mean to seem like a snob, but everyone thinks of her as one anyway. Especially Gale Hawthorne.
The happiness Madge feels for Katniss and Peeta's return from the Hunger Games comes with a flipside. Her house is crawling multi-colored Capitol citizens.
As mayor of District 12, Madge's father is obligated to room whatever high class whack-job that decides to stalk the new Victors.
If this year's Victors weren't her best, well, only, friends, she'd be giving them her most hostile attitude right now.
As it is, they are, so she bares the insults about her clothes, hair, home, and food, with aplomb, and get's the hell out of the house as fast as she can.
Most days she heads out around 11:00 in the morning and returns at 8:00 in the evening. 9:00 if she's feeling particularly daring.
Her father, though hardly ever around, has their maid, Anna, tell him what time she gets in at night.
It actually kind of pisses Madge off.
Today Gareth, Virula, and Pernia, (blue, purple, and yellow, all with elaborate tattoos and hairstyles) are in rare form. They eat all the food Anna makes for breakfast, leave their mess, and proceed to pester Madge about the boring state of her hair and skin.
"Blonde simply isn't in anymore, Madgey!" exclaims Pernia in a drawling accent that makes Madge want to bang her head against the nearest wall. "Let me give you an orange! I think you'll look lovely with orange!"
Madge fakes a smile and declines.
Scratch the irritating accent, it's the constant need to say everything with an exclamation point at the end that makes hard-wood walls so much more enticing.
It takes some pretty creative excuses, but Madge is out of the house by 10:00, ready to take a stroll through and enjoy what's left of her morning.
Madge ambles slowly down the road leading into the Square, her mood much lighter now that she's a good distance from her house.
It's somewhat quiet this early on a Sunday, the shops in town aren't open yet, but Madge can see the lights are on in the Mellark bakery as she walks passed.
Madge stops walking as she reaches the intersection between the Seam and the Victors' Village. She's never actually been in the Seam before. She and Katniss weren't the 'visiting each others' houses' type of friends.
On one hand, Madge is dreadfully curious, on the other, she knows she'll stick out like a sore thumb. Madge also gets the feeling the she wouldn't be at all welcome.
With a sigh of defeat, she drags herself down the path to Katniss' new home, figuring she can ask Katniss and Prim if they want to join her pointless ramble.
Madge hates that she can't be like everyone else.
She isn't even a normal 'townie' for Pete's sake!
Not that anyone from town would venture into the Seam. Madge imagines they wouldn't be as rejected as she would be though.
Peeta's is first in the row of houses, Haymitch's is in the middle, and Katniss' just after, as Madge strolls by, she wonders how Peeta is handling being away from his family.
Alone in a big house like that after all the horrible things he'd seen in the Games? Madge doubts he's doing all that well.
She wants to ask him to accompany her as well, but she knows there's some sort of weird tension going on between him and Katniss. It wouldn't be right for her to put either of them in an uncomfortable position.
Madge knocks three times and waits for someone to answer the door, she can hear voices talking inside from her station on the porch and hopes she isn't interrupting anything.
The door swings inwards, and Prim's head pops out around it.
"Madge! What are you doing here?" Prim pulls the door open the rest of the way to let Madge over the threshold. "Is something wrong? Do they want Katniss?"
Prim looks a mixture between pleased and anxious. She must think Madge is here to fetch Katniss for an interview or something.
"No, I just came to see if you guys-" Madge stops talking at once when she sees who's entering the hallway on the opposite side.
Gale Hawthorne is not one of her favorite people in District 12. In fact, she can count her favorite people on one hand, and he doesn't make it anywhere near that list even if she used her other hand and all her toes.
Katniss is walking with him, obviously leading him to the door.
Cripes, it's barely past 10:00 in the morning, what is he doing here already?
Gale stops walking when he sees her, his lips thinning and his eyes narrowing. Madge responds in kind. The Everdeens aren't his, and if he wants to act like a territorial... animal, well, Madge isn't just going to lie down and take it.
She has principals.
"Madge, hi," says Katniss, coming nearer. They exchange a short hug and tight smiles.
"I came to see if you and Prim wanted to go for a walk," Madge says, hoping her voice doesn't sound as stiff and prissy as she thinks it does. Stupid Gale and his stupid judging words.
He makes her feel like her skin is too tight and constricting. She hates that he can make her so uncomfortable.
"Um, actually, Gale and I were going to go hunting so..." Katniss trails off, biting her lip and fidgeting with the end of her braid.
Madge wills herself not to look at Gale's smarmy expression because she knows, she knows it's there.
"I'd like to go for a walk, Madge, there's nothing to do around here anyway," Prim pipes up, pulling on Madge's arm, "Let's see if Peeta wants to come! He says his house is too big and too boring."
Prim pulls her right back out the door, prattling on about her goat, her cat, and, surprisingly, Rory Hawthorne.
"He watches Lady for me when I can't get to the Seam to watch her myself," she tells Madge as they mount the steps to Peeta's porch. "And he comes over sometimes, when Katniss is busy with Peeta or Gale. Rory's really nice. He just pretends he isn't in front of other people."
Madge nods in understanding as she knocks on Peeta's door, listening to Prim's chatter idly.
"Hang on!" Peeta's voice calls through the door. Madge can hear him shuffling down the staircase.
"Okay!" Prim calls back, smiling happily at Madge. "I like Peeta, he's really nice. Sometimes he let's me come over while he's baking."
Peeta pulls the door open and motions for them to come inside. "Hey Madge, nice to see you."
The whole house smells of freshly baked goods, but the scent only gets stronger as he usher them into the kitchen.
Prim sighs audibly as they enter, and Madge has to suppress one herself. The counters are covered in different types of breads and pastries. Madge turns to stare wide eyed at Peeta, who is blushing and scratching the back of his neck.
"Hungry?" he asks weakly.
"Peeta..." Madge starts, but Peeta looks pointedly at Prim mouthing, 'later'.
Madge leans against the counter, watching Peeta sit Prim at the table with a cup of milk and danishes. He looks tired. There are dark smudges beneath his eyes, and he is favoring his Capitol provided leg more than he usually does.
"How's Katniss doing, Prim?" Peeta asks, sitting down beside her with his elbow on the table, his head resting on his hand.
Prim takes a second to finish chewing, wrinkling her nose at Peeta as he waits. "She's tired a lot," she says after she's swallowed. "Sometimes I can hear her having nightmares."
Madge watches as Peeta's expression turned grim, he probably has the same problem, she thinks.
"She'll get better, Prim." Peeta assures her, "She just needs a little time."
Prim nods solemnly and keeps on eating.
Peeta looks up at Madge, his face pinched and weary, "So, not that I mind, but what are you two doing here so early?"
"We came to see if you wanted to join us for a walk." Madge pipes up.
"If you aren't too busy." Prim adds, smiling sweetly.
Peeta laughs, "I'm never too busy for you, Primrose."
Before long all three of them are walking the dusty road back into town. Prim stands on Peeta's right, her arm looped through his, Madge on his left, trying to appear nonchalant as she scrutinizes him.
He notices though, and squeezes her shoulder.
"I think we should go to the Meadow," Prim says happily, "It's really pretty round this time, and we can check on Lady on the walk home!"
She sounds so bright and cheery that Madge can't say no, even though she knows they'll probably run into Gale and Katniss coming out of the woods if they stay long enough.
Peeta jiggles Prim's arm, "Whatever you say, Ms. Everdeen." He raises his eyebrows at Madge and gives her the first genuine smile he's mustered so far.
Maybe going to the Meadow isn't such a bad idea after all.
Madge watches her feet as they wander through town, she wonders how long she can avoid going home, and how much time she'll have to spend outside of her room when she gets there.
District 12 has never had a Victor in her lifetime before, and the camera crews packed into her house need to go.
Before she explodes.
"-right, Madge?"
Madge looks up from her feet in time to see Peeta tilting his head, looking at her inquisitively.
"You okay?" he asks, nudging her shoulder.
Madge grimaces, "Yeah. Just...thinking."
"About what?" asks Prim, peeking around Peeta to get a look at her.
"Don't be so nosy, Prim," Peeta chides gently.
Madge waves him off, "It's fine. I'm thinking about running away from home."
Their shocked reactions are enough to make her laugh and push away her moodiness.
"I'm kidding. I just don't really like being at home right now, it's a little... crowded."
She exchanges a meaningful look with Peeta who frowns sympathetically.
By the time they reach the meadow the sun is high and shining. It isn't too hot yet, but Madge knows that will change in a few hours.
Madge plops down beneath a tree the second she reaches it, lying on her back and staring up through the leaves. If only her house could be this peaceful.
She doesn't want to judge people, and goodness knows she's no model human, but they're so... fake.
They talk in fake nasally voices, their hair is fake, their very bodies are fake!
And worst of all, they're all here to bug Katniss and Peeta.
Leave it to the Capitol to ruin what semblance of normality the two have left.
Madge lets out a heavy sigh and puts an arm over her eyes.
Without looking, she can sense Peeta sitting down beside her, his feet brushing her side. Madge peeks out from under her arm to glance at him. His back is against the tree, his eyes closed.
"Do you think they'll leave anytime soon?"
He sounds so weary Madge feels like a selfish prick for being so irritated at her current situation.
"I don't know. Hopefully soon. If anything, they'll because 12 is so deadbeat they can't take it anymore."
Peeta chuckles, tapping his foot against her side, "Maybe so."
Madge moves the arm over her eyes behind her head and turns to look at him, "Are you okay?"
Peeta breathes deeply, pressing his fingers against his eyelids, "I don't know."
She wishes she could help him, but as he opens his eyes and catch each other's gaze, she knows it isn't her he needs.
More specifically, the one he needs is traipsing through the woods with an overgrown puppy named Gale.
Madge snorts to herself, disguising it as a cough so Peeta won't think she's laughing at him. She sits up, looking around, she spots Prim a few yards off, picking dandelions.
Well, Prim picking dandelions, and an unmistakable towering figure dusting himself off as he walks towards them.
Madge doesn't bother to hide her annoyance from Peeta when she sighs noisily.
"He isn't my favorite person in the world either," he murmurs quietly. "Feelings kind of mutual."
Madge looks round at Peeta in surprise, her hand clapped over her mouth to smother her grin.
"Gale!" Prim's shriek echos in the quietude as Gale swoops her up and over his shoulder.
Peeta and I exchange another look as Katniss comes up behind him, her braided hair glinting in the sunlight.
"Guess we better get up," Madge says, making a face. She stands, pulling Peeta up as well.
She is dreading looking at Gale's stupid face with it's judging sneer.
"How was the hunt?" Peeta asks as soon as we're close enough.
Katniss shrugs, "Not a lot of game out this late."
Gale flips Prim back onto her feet, ruffling her hair playfully, "Whatcha got there, quarter-pint?"
Prim huffs, her face red and her hair mussed, but she holds out the dandelions for him to inspect. "They're for mom, she was sad this morning."
Katniss smiles tightly, "That's nice, Prim, we should get home so you can give them to her."
"I have to go back anyway, make sure Haymitch hasn't drowned in a pool of his own vomit." Peeta mimes a disgusted face for Prim.
Madge doesn't want to go. Not yet. The last thing she wants is to go back home.
"You guys go ahead," she says, ignoring Gale's presence beside Katniss, "I'm going to stay out here a bit longer."
Peeta nods in understanding and starts walking, Prim and Katniss trailing behind him. Madge eyes Gale impatiently, waiting for him to follow them and leave her in peace.
"How long were you planning on staying out here?" he asks, like it's any of his damned business. He towers over her, his grey eyes piercing and invasive.
Madge crosses her arms over her chest and tries to appear taller, "However long I feel like."
She doesn't mean to sound snooty, but she can tell Gale thinks she does by the way he scoffs.
"Just don't stay until dark," he muttered, rolling his eyes and stalking off.
What does that even mean?
For a moment, Madge is torn between calling after him and sticking her tongue out at his back. She opts to park herself beneath the tree she had claimed earlier.
Insufferable oaf. He doesn't deserve her thoughts.
She doesn't hate Gale Hawthorne. She doesn't. She just thinks that he thinks that he's got her all figured out. He totally doesn't. And he's rude... and mean. And he always judges her.
But she doesn't hate him.
It's complicated.
Madge lays in the grass, staring at the clouds and dreaming of freedom.
Gale Hawthorne thinks money makes her free.
But it doesn't. It really doesn't.
Somewhere between imagining what life would be like without a fence, oppression, and poverty and rationalizing her strong opposition to one hulking beast, Madge must have fallen asleep.
One minute the sky is bright, vibrant, full of life, and the next the sun is sinking beneath the trees and she's being nudge by a coal-dust covered boot.
Madge sits up immediately, a scream catching in her throat.
"It's a real stupid idea to fall asleep out here alone."
Speak of the towering devil...
Madge's hands go to her hair, pulling out the twigs and grass that are now lodged there. "I wasn't trying to," she mutters, certain her face is bright red.
"Yeah, well..." Gale trails off, leaning down and yanking Madge up by her upper arms as though she weighs nothing.
Madge stops fiddling with her hair and glared up at him. "I think I can handle myself now, thank you."
Gale scoffs, "Yeah, I can see that. Were you planning on walking through the Seam in the dark too?"
Well, in point of fact, Madge hadn't even thought about it. Because she hadn't planned on falling asleep.
"I don't see how it's any concern of yours." Maybe her pride is a bit much, but it's all she's got.
"I'm sure it isn't," Gale says dismissively, "Let's go."
He turns and stomps off, leaving Madge to follow in his wake whether she likes it or not.
The light of day isn't completely gone, but the long shadows and not-so-nice houses do make the walk home a little creepy.
Gale stays silent the whole time, and Madge is too busy trying to keep up to talk. Not that she'd know what to say.
Gale stops when he reaches the end of the Seam, his hands shoved deep down in his pockets. "You shouldn't wander around in the Seam at night, Undersee, not everyone's pleasant and you stick out like a sore thumb."
In one sentence he manages to make her feel like small and parasitic. Only Gale Hawthorne.
"I'll try to keep that in mind," Madge sniffs, straightening her spine.
Gale shakes his head and turns around, walking back towards his own house. Madge does the same, but her mind is whizzing with questions unanswered.
Why on earth would Gale Hawthorne, of all people, go back to check on her?
That was the first of many weird encounters with one, hulking mass of eyebrows and piercing eyes. After that, he seems to be everywhere she is. Well, that isn't fair, she's only ever at Katniss' house or in the meadow. District 12 isn't exactly a place for sightseeing.
And she really doesn't see him all that often. He works in the mines, so he's pretty much only around on Sundays or Saturday nights, the odd weekday, occasionally.
The weird part is that he isn't making snide remarks about her. He isn't actively including her in conversations, but he isn't purposefully treating her horribly or ignoring her either.
It's a weird in between world she seems to be caught in.
Whatever it is going on with him, she's too timid to ask, and worried that if she does he'll go back to being all 'eyebrows and insults' again.
It all comes to a head on a Sunday at Katniss' when Mrs. Everdeen asks her to stay for dinner. Madge says yes before she realises Gale will be staying as well.
Dinner is quiet, but not too uncomfortable, somehow Madge manages to answer Mrs. Everdeen's questions, and Gale manages not to mock her answers.
Madge is almost happy at the end, but that feeling flies out the window the minute Mrs. Everdeen opens her mouth.
"Gale, walk Madge home, will you? It's late, she shouldn't be out alone at this hour."
Oh, but Mrs. Everdeen, you don't understand.
But of course Madge can't say that. She also doesn't have a good excuse ready.
And that's how she finds herself walking side by side to her house with Gale Hawthorne.
He is silent, at first, but eventually the quiet is too loud for them not to speak.
"What d'you think this year's Quarter Quell will be?" Gale asks, glancing sideways at her.
Madge fiddles with the ends of her hair, "I don't know. Probably something horrifying and tragic." She kicks a rock angrily, "I just wish there was something I could do to help them."
Gale breathes out sharply, "Yeah, don't we all."
Something passes between them that night. Madge doesn't say anything more, and neither does Gale, but she feels like maybe, just maybe, they've reached common ground.
When he drops her off at her back door, he mutters a quiet, "Night, Madge." and Madge watches him walk away before she goes inside, trying not to think too much about the fluttering feeling in her stomach.
A month later, Madge is beginning to think she imagined the whole 'common ground' thing because Gale goes back to ignoring her existence.
It bothers her. She admits it. She wants him to... to... Madge doesn't even know. She just likes to be liked. Or she's just tired of people not liking her.
She isn't shallow, it's not that. For some reason she cares about what he thinks of her.
It's blistering cold these days, the snow falls thick and heavily all night, leaving Madge to trudge through sludge to get anywhere.
Her house is being prepped to have more 'guests' now that the Victor Tour is nearing. Usually, Madge loves winter; especially snow. She thinks it's wonderful and romantic in some ways.
Now she hates it. She won't be able to go outside if it keeps snowing like this, and staying at home when 'guests' are over is a torture she cannot bear.
Madge is stomping through town on errands when she sees it.
Her heart is suddenly clogging her throat.
There's a man tied to the whipping post in the middle of the square. Shirtless and shivering.
The sound of leather slapping against flesh snaps her out of her frozen state.
For a minute, Madge is sure she will faint or vomit, the man tied to the post is none other than Gale Hawthorne.
Madge doesn't tell Gale how she ran, trembling and sobbing, to pilfer medicine from her mother. She doesn't tell him that she was sick in bed with a cold for a week after. She doesn't tell him how her heart stopped, and her stomach heaved.
She doesn't tell him anything.
Madge has had what she is sure must be a wake up call.
She is petty and selfish, just like he'd always insinuated. She has never had to worry about starvation.
It's in her mind constantly, it's stuck there like gum under a desk. Gale Hawthorne was punished for feeding his family.
And it makes her sick to her stomach.
The next time she sees him, she knows why she cares so much.
Madge has spent a lot of time thinking these past weeks, and somehow during that time, she's stopped thinking about what Gale thinks of her, and started thinking about Gale himself.
She admires him.
His strength and courage. His love for his family. His willingness to do anything he can to protect them, no matter the consequences.
The next time she sees him, she feels incredibly humbled. Her cheeks are flushed bright pink, she's sure, and she fumbles her surprised greeting.
Gale give her a weird look before he walks away, leaving Madge slump against the side of the shoemaker's shop in utter mortification.
What must he think of her, she wonders, but that's a stupid thought, she knows what he thinks of her.
But he doesn't know what she thinks of him.
And that's a thought worth mulling over.
Madge makes a decision to tell Gale. She isn't sure how or when she'll do it, or what she's going to say, but she's going to do it.
If he can be brave, she can too.
Only Madge doesn't get a chance to tell him, at least not before the world explodes in flames around her.
In the time following, Madge knows only heat and pain. Days may have past, weeks even, but Madge feels nothing.
She is in between sleep and wake. Her body floating between sky and sea.
Sometimes it hurts, others it doesn't.
Madge dreads when it doesn't.
It's better to feel something rather than nothing.
Madge wakes in a room so white it blinds her. The air smells like antiseptic, but the man beside her does not.
Haymitch Abernathy isn't her favorite person, but seeing him makes her weep for joy.
He lets her hug him, and even pats her back to comfort her.
She knows why he's here.
It's because no one else can be.
"You don't give yourself enough credit, Madge."
"You give me too much."
"I never gave you enough."
Haymitch takes her in. Lets her stay in his unit here in District 13.
This place is cold and unwelcoming, but Madge won't complain.
She doesn't have the right.
She runs into him on her way to the mess hall, but she doesn't recognize him at first.
The man before her is wearing a soldier's uniform and looks older than the one she remembers from home.
Gale Hawthorne already has two feet in the rebellion, just home from his first mission, and more handsome than any man Madge has bothered to look at.
He smiles at her, clasps her shoulders, hugs her, and releases her just as suddenly.
Madge can't do more than sputter, her heart's in her throat, and Gale Hawthorne just hugged her.
They spend the next few weeks of Gale's temporary leave in some strange form of friendship. Madge thinks Gale's change towards her is because so little of home remains, he doesn't want to push away what's left.
Part of her likes to believe it's because he actually does want her company as much as she wants his.
It's the last day of his leave when she finally plucks up the courage to tell him.
He's standing in front of her, leaning against the wall outside his family's unit, his hair cropped short, and his face clean of bristles.
Madge wilts internally. He thinks he hasn't given her enough credit?
"I think you are..." her heart is thudding so heavily it's pounding in her ears.
"Madge, whatever it is, it can't be that scary," says Gale, rolling his eyes and shrugging his shoulders. He's trying to lighten the mood, she knows this, but he needs to know. Before he leaves, before something happens.
"I wanted you to know that you're the bravest person I've ever met, and I don't want anything to happen to you because I don't know what I'd do if something were to happen, and I care about you, and I never thought of you as stupid or poor and I just wanted you to-"
Madge is forced to stop blabbering because Gale has stopped leaning against the wall to hold her by the shoulders and press his lips to hers.
Madge doesn't know how she feels about District 2 yet, but going back to 12 is not a possibility.
Leaving Haymitch was hard, and they both made fake promises to keep in touch. Haymitch already smells of white liquor, and she knows for a fact he wouldn't be caught dead answering a phone.
Madge sits on a swing in the recreation room, bare feet dragging against the fake grass. She has a place set up for her to stay at when she gets to 2. A job as well.
She's volunteering at a hospital there. It doesn't pay much, but they offered free room and board.
Gale hasn't talked to her since the end of the war, and Madge understands that he needs time, so she hasn't gone by the Hawthorne's unit to call him out on his absence.
They are, all of them, healing in different ways.
She and Gale are stuck somewhere between dating and friendship. All Madge really wants is a clearer picture, but she won't make life decisions based on their 'relationship'. Haymitch had actually talked to her about it. 'Talked' in the loosest form of the word. He'd basically grumbled that if she didn't want to come home he had a job lined up for her in 2, and to not act stupid over boys.
Madge swings a little higher, hanging her head back, her hands curling around the chains suspending the swing.
"I thought I'd find you here."
She drops her feet to stop the motion, pulling her head up. Gale looks like he hasn't shaved or slept in days. Or eaten for that matter, judging by how gaunt his cheeks are.
"I'm moving to District 2." Madge blurts as he nears her.
Gale falters for a moment, but keeps on until he's standing beside her.
He crouches in front of her, laying his hands, palms up, on her knees. She closes her own hands around them, squeezing his fingers.
A corner of his lip lifts in a ghost of a smile, "I was going to tell you the same thing."