Wario Goes To Six Flags
Chapter 1
Ahh. A peaceful day at Diamond City. A few cars pass by on the street, but let's focus in on one house in particular...
Wario's House
It's everyone's favorite antagonist, Wario. He's sitting at his computer, doing…something.
Wario: (biting fingers) C'mon…Only 10 minutes left! This is gonna be great!
It looks like Wario is on Ebay. He's been diligently bidding on a large, highly-detailed Batman figure. After 15 minutes, the item is sure to be his, but he keeps a steady watch, just in case. Suddenly, the phone rings.
Wario: (thinking) Hmm…Am I too lazy to answer that? Eh, what the heck.
He leans over and grabs the phone.
Wario: Whaddya want?
Mona: Hey Wario!
Wario: Oh! Uh, hey Mona. What's up?
Mona: Oh, I was just wondering if you had a few minutes…I could really use some help with something.
Wario glances at the red number beside the figure he's bidding on.
Number: 11 min. Remaining
Wario: Er, how long do you think it'll take?
Mona: Oh, just about 5 minutes, maybe. Is that too long?
Wario: No no, that's fine! I'll uh, be right over.
He hangs up the phone and takes one last look at the screen.
Wario: Ah, I'll be back.
Wario goes to his garage, starts his motorcycle, and heads down the street to Mona's house.
Mona's House
As Wario pulls up into the driveway, he can see Mona coming out of the house. She waves as he jumps off the motorcycle.
Mona: Heya!
Wario: Hey. Now uh, what did you want me to fix?
Mona: Oh, it's my garage…
It's pretty noticeable even from the street; Mona's garage is seriously crooked. The door is almost diagonal from the frame, and part of the bottom is crumpled.
Wario: Geez, what the heck happened to that thing?
Mona: Well, I kind of let Orbulon park his Oinker there a few days ago, he had another emergency…
FlashbackMona's phone rings.
Mona: Hello?
Orbulon: Emergency! We're going to use your garage!
Mona: But it's not-
A loud crash comes from outside of the house. Smoke is coming from the garage.
End
Wario: Orbulon…something's always up with that guy!
Wario approaches the garage door and grips the bottom with both hands. He wrenches it downwards, freeing the door.
Wario: There. Almost back to normal, except that giant dent at the bottom.
Mona: Wow, thanks, Wario! I didn't think you'd fix it that way. By the way, I made something for you!
Wario: Whoa, really?
Mona: Yeah, I actually made it to bribe you over the phone if you refused. Come on in!
Inside Mona's House
Mona leads Wario to the kitchen table, where a white cake is resting. The cake has rich, creamy frosting, and smells delicious. It looks like there are coconut shavings on the sides.
Wario: Whoa! You made this cake for me??
Mona: Heehee! No, silly.
Wario: D:
Mona opens up the refrigerator, and pulls out a cup.
Mona: Garlic shake!
Wario: Garlic shake!? Gimme!
Wario grabs the shake and chugs it down. He wipes his mouth afterwards.
Wario: Ahh, thanks! Say, I'd better head back to my place. I was uh, doing something.
Mona: Oh, no problem. Catch you later, ok?
Wario: (thumbs up)
Wario leaves the house. Mona pulls out a container for the cake on the table to go inside of, when suddenly-
Wario: BRAIN FREEEEZE!!
The Road
Wario drives along the road, hoping he gets back to his house soon. He soon notices the traffic is piling up.
Wario: Oh, COME ON! Why now!?
He comes to a halt behind a car. At the far end of the traffic is another car, except it's been flipped over onto the roof. It's not really in the way, but for some reason, the other cars have completely slowed down to stare at it. Wario rolls his eyes, and steers his motorcycle between the lanes of cars.
Wario: Ehehehehee!
Several begin honking their horns, but Wario wards them off with a rude sign from his free hand. Reaching the front of the traffic, he glances over at the flipped car. A big dog guy and a little yellow cat guy are looking at it, shaking their heads. It turns out to be Dribble and Spitz's taxi.
Wario: Hey! What are you losers doing?
Dribble: Oh, hey Wario. We've gotta get a tow-truck or something, thanks to Spitz here!
(He hits Spitz on the head.)
Spitz: Hey!
Wario: How did your car just flip over?
Dribble: Let's see…
Flashback
Spitz: Hey Dribble, you know that game that Mona made? In our first installment of games?
Dribble: (driving) I think so.
Spitz: Well, she had that video of her running from the cops on her scooter. I was wondering…do banana peels really flip cars over, just like that?
Dribble: Huh, I dunno. You'd probably have to drop it just right, even if it did work.
Spitz: (pulls out a banana) C'mon, let's try it!
Dribble: No way! You know what that means if the trick works? We flip over!
Spitz: Yeah! Won't that be fun?
Dribble: Not really, because-
Spitz throws the banana out of the window. The car flips over.
End
Wario: (sigh) I guess I'll help you losers out…again!
Wario hops off of his bike, and flips the taxi over with both hands.
Dribble: Wow! Thanks, man.
Spitz: Yeah, we owe ya one!
Wario: Ah, I'll just pay you less when we make our next game. Smell ya later!
Wario drives off.
Wario's HouseWario pulls into his garage, and runs into the room where his computer is. He moves the mouse around to get rid of the screensaver-
Wario: NOOOOO!!
Status: You have been outbid on this item. red X
Wario: Of all the dirty rotten-! Who the heck outbid me!?
Wario pulls up another screen.
Screen: Winning bidder: Luigiis1337
Wario clenches his fists in the air.
Wario: LUIGI?! Gaaaaaah!
Wario runs to his closet door, and yanks it open. Inside there are several giant plushes of characters Wario hates. He tosses aside several Marios, a Naruto, and finally pulls out a Luigi. He hurls the Luigi to the floor and begins pummeling it.
Wario: Why do you want Batman anyways?? You're a scaredy-cat weenie!!
The phone rings after a few minutes, temporarily halting Wario's rage. He snatches the receiver, grumbling.
Wario: Hello? I'm kinda beating something right now.
Waluigi: Hey, loser!
Wario: Eh? Hey Waluigi.
Wario walks over to the battered plush and kicks it back into the closet.
Waluigi: Listen, there's these weird people over at your castle to see you.
Wario: Weird people? Hmm-HEY! What are you doing back at my castle??
Waluigi: Uhhhh…
Wario: Did your house flood again or something? Where IS your house anyway?
Waluigi: Uhhhh…Anyway, there's this pirate chick, and three little pirate dudes. They say they wanna talk to you.
Wario: Hm. That sounds like that lousy Captain Syrup! Who I'd actually be ok with if she didn't try to rob me. Tell 'em I'm not home!
Waluigi: Ok. (background) He says he's not home. Uh, no. I mean, it's a…um, recording, so I don't know where he is. NO, I don't know where his booty is! Ok, well uh, I was getting bored, so I figured I'd see what the specials over at Six Flags were like.
Wario: Six Flags?? We haven't been there since Superman opened!
FlashbackIt's the Superman ride. Except…nothing is moving.
Ride Operator: (speaker) Ok folks, uh…the ride should be moving at any second now. Yup. Any second…Any second. It's…going to move. Yup. Not too long now…Any-
The ride explodes.
End
Wario: Who's going?
Waluigi: I dunno. It could be you and me, or you can invite some of those guys you make games with. I was thinking of inviting Daisy-
Wario: NO. No Daisy!
Waluigi: Whaa-? Why not? She's not like the other chumps!
Wario: Yeah, but if you invite Daisy, she'll wanna invite Peach. And Peach will invite Toad. And Toad will invite…
Wario/Waluigi: The Mario Brothers.
Wario glances back at his closet.
Waluigi: Yeah, I guess you're right. Crud, she sure hangs around a bunch of losers. Ok then, I'll catch a plane or something over to your neck of the woods.
Wario: See if you can call Kirby. His Warp Stars kick butt, and they're cheap, too.
Waluigi: Yeeah, I didn't think about that. Ok, see ya, bro.
Wario hangs up the phone, sits on his sofa, and turns on the TV. While flipping through the channels, he begins thinking.
Wario's
Head
Yeeeah, that'll work great. Six Flags is always
great…AND, I can get a Batman figure from there! Yeah, screw you
Ebay! Hm, is that a fart coming? …No, guess not. Crud.
He pauses flipping TV stations for a second, and leans forward to get a better look.
Wario: The Rich and Feisty?? What a corny title-
A round man in a suit, top hat and glasses appears on the screen. He sits down on a wide sofa.
Wario: Cannoli?!
Cannoli: Welcome to today's Rich and Feisty! With me, your host, Count Cannoli! And, a special guest…
A lady in a red dress and glasses comes and sits on the sofa as well. She has blond hair.
Wario: Whaaat!?
Terrormisu: Hello, all you wonderful viewers! I do hope your ready for today's episode.
Wario: But we…she…Gah!
The area around Wario gets slightly darker, and the camera seems to focus on Terrormisu.
Terrormisu: Hello, Wario.
Wario: AIEE!
He quickly hits the power button on the remote.
Wario: What a creepy show! And she's out of the…Gah, I need a nap…
Wario gets up and stretches. He begins to head upstairs, but quickly looks back at the TV.
Wario: Hehehe, I'm being paranoid. This isn't the Ring, or anything…
He heads up to his bedroom, and flops onto the bed. Soon, he is snoring.
Elsewhere…
Wario's Castle
Captain Syrup and her three short pirate goons are walking away from the castle.
Pirate 1: So we're not even gonna look for his treasure?
Syrup: No, I guess not. I actually came for a truce, but…I dunno. Besides, that guy who opened the door was really creepy.
Pirate 2: Yeah, he was.
Waluigi is inside, looking through one of Wario's notebooks.
Waluigi: Ahh, come on! I can't call Kirby if I don't know his number…He's got Snake, Ike, Donkey Kong, Samus-Ooh, Samus.
Waluigi looks around suspiciously, then rips Samus's number out and pockets it.
Waluigi: Oh, here it is! Kirby. Hehehehe.
He picks up Wario's phone, and dials Kirby's number. After a few rings…
Kirby: Hello?
Waluigi: Kirbyyyy! How's it going, buddy?
Kirby: Um…good.
Waluigi: Listen, I could really use a Warp Star. Think you could spare me one?
Kirby: Well, um…I guess.
Waluigi: Greeeat! I'm at Wario's castle, you know how to get here?
Kirby: Yeah, I think so. Ok, I'll be over soon.
Waluigi: Thanks! I'll be waiting!
They both hang up.
Pop Star (Kirby's House)King Dedede: Who was that?
Kirby: It was Wario's brother. He says he needs a Warp Star.
Dedede: That creepy guy? What's he need one of those for?
Kirby: I dunno. I'll be back, I guess.
Dedede: Ok. Hurry back though, I've still gotta train some more for Brawl, remember?
Kirby: Oh yeah.
Dedede: We're supposed to own Meta Knight, ya know. He's going to be one of the most spammed characters.
Kirby: Don't worry, we will. Keep working on your hammer stuff, and I'll be back soon.
Meta Knight enters the doorway.
MK: …
Kirby: …
Dedede: …What?
Kirby: Uh, later!
Wario's Castle
Waluigi walks around the castle while waiting for Kirby to show up. He wonders why there is a giant faucet in one of the rooms. He soon hears a twinkling noise outside.
Waluigi: Ah-ha!
He runs outside, and sees Kirby descend on a Warp Star. He's holding another one in his hand.
Kirby: Um, here you go…
Waluigi: Yeah! Thanks, little dude. Here.
Waluigi gives Kirby a bag of coins.
Kirby: Wow…I can actually have these? Or is this a joke? Is there a bomb in here?
Waluigi: Ehehehe! No. Not this time, anyway. I figured you could use some loot or something.
Kirby: Well, uh, thanks. Hey, are you going to be in Brawl?
Waluigi: No idea…I really want to, I just don't know what the guys upstairs are doing. Sometimes I think they just like to screw around with us…
Kirby: I know how that feels. Well, uh, see you later.
Waluigi: Yeah. Thanks for the star!
Kirby rides off into the sky. Waluigi hops onto the star, and holds on.
Waluigi: Ok uh, take me to Diamond City!
So Waluigi is off to Diamond City…will he and Wario be able to get to Six Flags? Who will be invited? Will there be an inevitable conflict with the Mario Bros.? Stay tuned, and find out in…CHAPTER 2!
But yeah…I got bored, so I wrote this, lol. I'm a really big Wario fan, I've got a buttload of his merchandise.
Wario: Wahaha! That's right! Chumps like this just reeeel in the dough!