"Hand me over the remote"
Doctor Drew Lipsky sat comfortably at his couch...well it wasn't so much his couch as much as his girlfriend's couch, turns out it's kind of hard to get a place to live when you don't make money and stuff, but still, he considered it his couch. He sat sprawled over it, so not sat, but rather laying down.
He mumbled something, rather lowly, it was borderline incomprehensible the thing he said. But it was a monosyllabic word, so the meaning of it was rather obvious. A simple agreement of disagreement, a one word implying that no, he wouldn't give up the remote.
"What did you say to me?" - Drakken looked at the person who had asked him that question. She looked amazing as always, her ginger hair tied in a bun, a look which frankly didn't suit her, not that he would ever say that to her. She had been working on something, one of her many projects and so she smelled slightly of sweat, some drops of which could be seen on her brow. She was smiling, but her eyes held a dangerous glimmer; one that told him that he needed to choose his words carefully.
While serious injury was at most, unlikely, Kim had never even sought out to hurt him, his deranged mind jumped into a million and one ways she could do that. She had been a cheerleader in high school, which she was fresh out of, and Drakken reminded himself of what people told themselves about cheerleaders.
Absolutely nothing, for when was there ever a saying about high school cheerleaders? Except in that one videogame he had played where he had kicked arse as one. Kim had laughed, at least until she saw the very sexual content it had provided. He knew that his girl knew several styles of kung fu and other asian martial arts, in fact she brought them often, but he hadn't them seen in action until she snapped the game disc in half.
Even when she was out foiling his plans, in the whole "let's charm her, and maybe try to take over the world thingy" side business he had going on, she had never applied violence directly against him. But that disc? It had snapped. Kind of like her when she had kicked his sidekick over the tower.
Her "dark side" was something he really enjoyed in her...it was something she claimed she didn't have, she didn't bring it to the table often but when it happened or it showed...well, it was highly highly arousing, in fact he could claim that it left him wanting more of that dark, sexy Kim.
She was possessive, she was dominating, she was everything he had ever wanted in a woman. Mother issues? Not very likely, momma Lipsky had always treated him very nicely, but he always enjoyed a strong woman, and who better than Kimberly Ann Possible, the woman who had foiled his plan, time after time after time (he had stopped counting after the 23rd time, but he was sure it had reached the 50 attempts at least)?
She was also very very likely to be able to push him over and take the remote by force. A thing she was likely to do if he didn't push the remote over to her position, at least in his mind. It was crazy really, but he guessed that the rewatching of his favorite movies could wait...he did have a video box, with a recording and playback feature, after all.
He gave a soft whimper of defeat and threw the remote her way. She catched it, easily on one hand, and turned around to the tv. The tv had been one of the few things that Lipsky (or Dr Drakken as he was once called) had brought out to their dinky little apartment, and it was certainly impressive, it displayed color and sound in a range that was far more advanced than what was currently on the market.
There was a good reason for that, what they had was a prototype that he had stolen from the most automatized factory in the world, that now made more than video game systems. Despite the occasional greeting of "Good afternoon" in japanese when booting up, it was still impressive. If Kim knew about the origins of it, she had paid them no mind, it had come from the island-bunker-lab that Dr.D had, before being evicted with malice (and an electric ray gun to the face), something which, coincidentally also happened on a Tuesday…so wherever he had gotten it was of no concern to her. What was of concern to her however was the movie that he was watching on the tv, Her face was one of disgust as she turned onwards to the (not) so good Doctor.
"C'mon Drew, really?"You're watching this movie? Again?"
Drew shrugged his shoulders, pushing them up and down. what could he say?
"Well the cartoon channel was showing that awful reboot! You know the one who focuses on comedy instead of action. You know I like my explosions!"
Kim thought that he wasn't exaggerating, the amount of times their meetups had ended up in explosions were ridiculous. Mostly due to his fautl, or her fault, perhaps, it was all semantic. Do you blame the mad scientist who plants explosives in the room, or the heroine who triggers them? Philosophical and deep question aside, she only smiled
He indicated to Kimberly that she should sit next to him, making up room for her by pushing some of his belly inward.- He really needed to started exercising again.- He thought, but that was for another time. Kim lay next to him, their faces inches from one another, Kim's arm intertwined with Drew's right arm. Her face rested atop Drakken's neck in that little spot between the neck and the fact that all humans had. She could feel the slight stubble that he had grown. Drakken hadn't. been shaving lately, but he had never been one to grow a beard, he had tried, really, but he wasn't his cousin, Motor Ed, now that man could tell stories…
Drakken pushed one of his arms, the only one which was free, over the woman he loved so much, Kimberly was great, she provided for them both, because who would employ a college dropout (I let myself out, thank you very much!), who was entering his forties, and whose entire work experience had been as ruler of nothing, and small evil master? He had been a successful business owner, but that had gone to...well, heck. Also. So Kim provided for them, also while going to college, and occasionally saving the world, and still having time to be kinky. Who knew that a girl who was a goody two shoes in real life could be oh so devious in bed? She had even agreed to try that thing with the tentacles, and Drakken still had a bit of that formula left
But that wasn't the only reason Drakken loved Kim, while there was no doubt that providing for him was a nice bonus, life as a villain had brought him to plenty of crappy places, like that time in colombian jail, so even if she didn't, he'd still love her. She was funny, she was embarrassingly hot, she was kind, she was gentle, and even if that goody two shoes attitude of her had annoyed him before, she had to admit, having someone with a moral compass wasn't so bad.
So there were a lot of reasons why he loved Kim, and he did mean a lot, they were too many to count and he wasn't even going to try. He prefered to, instead, just enjoy the warmth of her figure. He used the arm he had pushed against her navel to push her even further against him. The task was made more difficult by his belly.
"Yup, definitively need to start exercising"
"Did'cha say something honey?" - Kim was busy flipping between channels, she wasn't sleepy or groggy or anything, but her eyes were half closed due to the proximity to her former enemy. She was relaxed and calm and it felt great.
"No nothing." - He was thinking about it, and he realised that he just had no time for it, he meant, where would he find the time?
Unlike Kim's Drakken's day was a little less full, he spent it tinkering with small parts, or watching tv shows he legally bought on his computer, or even tv. He did most of the household work, which was fair, after all Kim did work outside the house, he cooked, he went shopping...it was true that Kim did more work, but he wasn't just a lazy slob. Now his days of relying on others for household necessities were over, that was back when, and he sighed, he had henchmen.
It was a good life, and he enjoyed it very much, especially when he had the most wonderful girl in the world to share it with. He usually didn't go all touchy feelies unless he had been affected by one of the other mad scientist's crazy gadget's but it was true. Kim was just that great.
"You know Kimmy..."
Kim frowned, he hated when he called him that, it was way too creepy, it was what her father called him, and with him and her father having gone to school together and all that...well it was just...something which weirded her out.
"Don't call me that, but yeah?"
Drakken realised his error and was quick to apologise. Though in the past he had held himself to the age old motto "apologise to no one...unless it's Shego, or otherwise she'll burn your bum", he had grown more humble over the years. He had had to, otherwise how would he had been able to nab some of that sweet teenager mind and body?
"I was thinking….you know how I tried to take over the world, like all the time?"
Kim held a smirk, feeling his beating heart close to her back, their skin making contact through their clothing. Yes, she remembered, it was how they had met.
"Yes,,,"
"And you know how I failed every darn time?"
Kim's smirk grew into a bigger smile, how could she not? It was tiring, but by the end of it, it had become more of a weekly routine than something she actually didn't expect, he went in, with some crazy mad scheme, bee gun (not as cool as a portal gun), vines, an alien from lawrever the heck, she came, she whooped butt, his lair exploded. She owed him several millions in reparations.
"Don't smile like that, I know I was a very inefficient super villain! - Drakken roamed a hand through her navel, briefly flicking it upwards, tickling her. - But I had the best heroine as my arch rival! How many can say that? Eletronique succeeds with her lame-o electrical devices sometimes, but she only has to deal with Team Go! You're worth like, at least...hmm.
Kim felt Drakken stop holding her and she felt him shift his whole body as he brought his arms free from the restraining weight of her body. Was he just getting crushed? It wasn't very likely. Drakken was too proud to admit to feel any pain, even when it was clearly hurting him.
Hands freed, Drakken proceeded to do some mental calculations, counting on all of his 10 fingers, the task for which they were required being that by which they were freed. Plenty of utterances of "mmmhhs" and "huummms", he even included the theory of the hero's path, even though it wasn't a theory, but Drakken was a mad genius, not a literary scholar and Kim was too intrigued to not let him finish. She had turned her head, Drakken's had moved as well so he could see his fingers, and now they both stared at them. What was it that Drakken was trying to figure out? How many licks it took to get to the center of a lollipop? Drakken had previously tried and the answer had been 423.
But no, the answer to that question was soon revealed as Drakken did his jittery dance, moving his legs all around, causing Kim to facepalm.
"You know that doesn't work when you're lying down, plus you're on the couch, plus you against me, so you hit my legs, plus no discovery is important enough to make you do that!"
Seeing Drakken's puppy dog pout, a trick he had learned from her, she was quick to change her tone however…
"What is it though!"
"But you see Kim! I just discovered it, through countless scientific methods!"
"By which you mean finger counting and pure guessing, I'm assuming…" Kim's face was as blank as it got, she was perfectly deadpan, despite the funny joke. She enjoyed the occasional riff between her and Drakken, it reminded her of their old days.
"You're starting to sound like Shego! But yes, through that particular method…" - Drakken's words were mouthed as if he didn't want to admit that kîm was right, and that he was guessing, for what kind of scientist only guesses? Despite being an important part of the scientific method, Drakken had never finished college and so was not aware of that. - "I discovered your worth! I discovered you are worth at least 22.9 Team Go'!
Kim's face turned into one of surprised as she looked at Drakken. He stood there with a beaming smile, almost as if he had discovered the answer to life, when really all he had discovered was the very obvious - that his girlfriend was very, very talented. But didn't he know that already? Of course he knew!
"You know flattery…" - Kim's tone got really low, like a growl, but not a threatening growl, instead a very sultry tone. Drakken gulped, feeling a certain part of him spring to attention. - "Will get you many places…you're so sweet….is there anything." - She wet her lips in anticipation - That your heart desires?" - She put one hand over his hip, circling it, getting oh so close to her target.
Drakken could see where the situation was headed and though he liked where it was going, oh so much, don't misquote him about that...he had other plans...after all "Attack of the killer plants zombies 3" was on, and even if he had missed like half an hour, he could still catch the climax. He was now more emphatic to the zombie flowers, for some reason, he wondered why, now that he knew they could feel pain, but it was still awesome to see the chiseled hottie (in Kim's opinion, he wasn't gay or anything), use the flamethrower to burn them all away and the "The end?" pop out at the real end.
So...though Kim's hand around his lap felt good...great even, he had to focus, this was for cheesy 80's movies everywhere, this was for his love of them, this was for….for...screaming cheerleaders being attacked by zombie tomatoes
He held a smirk at that, though it was hard to think with all his blood rushing to a lower area. If anyone had ever known his cheerleader girlfriend, they would know that that stereotype was as dumb as they came, she was capable, she was awesome, she was…
Still it was a good movie, drenched in 80's cheese and that was why he wanted to see it.
"Yeah...hum...honey could you maybe…" It was really distracting, Kim's sultry tone, it was a losing battle, it was like that battle in that movie about the 300 spartans, it was ridiculous, what could he do?
"...Hand me over the remote? " - It had taken all his self control to not say a dirty thing instead. Kim's smile faltered. She removed the hand from Drew's lap, almost as if a fog was being sucked out of her. She weakly pointed at the remote, that had fallen onto the floor and he picked it up.
"Alright! Tomato killer plants! - he flicked it back to the channel he wanted to watch, luckily they had cable, though they weren't exactly paying for it. Another one of Drakken's favors.
"Awww it's on commercial! And it's that commercial about the naked mole rat who wants to rule America!"
"I don't think that's…"
"I hate that guy ! I mean!"
"Drew…"
"I know I'm evil, but he, he's just arghhhh!"
"Drakken!"
"This is ridiculous, he looks like the buffon's naked rat thingy's cousin! He doesn't even have hair, how can you trust a man with no hair? I always said no hair, no dice!"
"Drew!" - Kim was upping her tone. She was damn near screaming at this point. Drakken blinked, once, twice, and looked at her.
"Yes?" - He look innocently at her, almost as if he hadn't gone on a rant not 10 seconds ago. Kim loved how passionate he could be, it was one of the things that attracted him to it, but sometimes, just sometimes it got to be a little too much.
She sighed, how could she explain this to him?
"First of all. Yes,, you may not like him, but everyone has a right to vote on their favorite candidate."
Drakken blinked again.
"I never voted!"
Kim stared at him, a confused look in her eyes, how could he have not have voted? He had been able to vote for 20 plus years and he had never exercised that right? As a college student, willing to change the world, and doing it on a daily basis, that, to her, was just ridiculous.
"Why not?" - She demanded, to know, though if she were thinking a little she could have probably guessed the reason. It was probably the same reason he never even knew how to cook more than pasta before she had taught him...He just wasn't interested.
"Well politicians are evil! I mean they're even more fake than santa claus and the easter bunny and a teacher who actually stays a whole year at Middleton High. - She smirked at his joke. - Plus, I figured, I was going to end up ruling the world, why vote on someone who was going to get replaced?
"And that buffon pet look alike" He's machiavelic! Is that even a word, it hasn't been used in years"
"Right…" - Kim figured Drakken was just being paranoid as usual. She didn't know if he had any sort of mental illness that had gone undiagnosed, and she would have to gently steer him towards an appointment one of those days, but he was prone to those displays.
"No, I mean, he's evil, evil, not just politician evil!"
"It's ok Drew." - She gently rubbed his back, in circles, left down, right up, left down right up. Calming him down. She pushed him onto his back, on the couch, almost like she would do to a child.
"No, I mean, in those villain auctions done by that guy,Jack Hench? He always one upped me in the villain auctions. I'd start with 500 dollars, and he'd say a million, and now, like , how can I get a million without robbing a bank? And have you tried robbing a bank? Specially a Swiss bank? Shego could do it, but you know how she is…"
Kim nodded, not really listening too much. She was staring at the commercial now ending. Like most of the politicians he was bragging about his family values, and other general values...but if what Drakken said was right, then he was a villain. Then again. With that hairdo and that face was that really a surprise? Kim tried not to judge people based on looks, it was one of the first lessons she had learned as a child, but that guy? Well…
"Hey Maybe I could run for president! I could win!" - Drakken had lifted himself and was staring proudly, his chest puffed out. He looked ridiculous, nonetheless because nobody could imagine a president in cotton pants with holes in them.
Kim couldn't help herself, she laughed, she laughed hard, she bent over in laughter, she laughed until her belly hurt. Drakken? As president? Sure, that could work, why the heck not. It'd totally ruin the country, but he was at least very progressive.
"So what would your first….oh God, sorry, sorry, I can't stop laughing, but what would your first order of business be?"
"I would order a new season of the best shows ever!" - Drakken then proceeded to list a series of shows with a cult following, including one that aired on Fox and had only one season. Kim had to admit, that alone would give him a fair number of voters.
"...It's a good measure, but I don't think that's how it works!"
Drakken paused his extensive list of obscure and not so obscure shows he'd bring back, to look at Kim.
"It's not? What do you mean it's not? Doesn't the president have total authority over the military? Can't I just say, produce a new season or get bombed?"
.Kim let out a snicker.
"...No, you can't threaten your own citizens."
Drakken seemed to ponder that for a few minutes, taking his sweet ass time to consider all that, his brow furrowed in concentration as he finally came to a conclusion.
"That sucks then! See that's why taking over the world is a much better alternative. All the power, no responsibilities!"
Kim rolled her eyes, and smiled. She knew that sometimes Drakken had those thoughts, about going back to his old ways, not that he had ever had much success in that life. But it was irresistible, the crossing the law, the freedom, the contacts, the bad boy image. Even if he was not much of a bad boy, in looks at least.
But she also knew something else, Drew loved her and he had given up his life of crime (well, if you didn't consider cable stealing as a crime), behind.
As he glanced at Kim's face he reconsidered his thoughts really really quickly, because sure, world domination might have been his dream job, it might be everyone's dream job, but Kim...Kim was his dream girl. And he felt that it was much more important for himself, his sanity, and all of that, to be with Kim. He did love her after all.
"...Ah well, word domination sounds like a bad time anyway…" - He counted on his fingers the reasons. - There's people constantly bemoaning you for food and stuff and what if another super villain tries to to take your place, see? I couldn't take that. I'm much more happy with you!" - He leaned over and pushed her, tripping her and making her fall on top of him. They both fell on the couch in a whimpering mess of limbs. - Besides I was never as good of a villain as that guy….the buffoon.
Kim's eyes hardened.
"C'mon, you've been dating me for months now, you know his name."
Drakken muttered something.
"What was that?" - Kim was working on untangling her limbs from his,, but she was currently stuck below his belly, even if she had strength it was something she was not prepared to do. A little drop of sweat fell from her face as she finally released herself from her position,
"I said his name is Ron! I just don't care enough to name him!"
Kim glanced at him.
"He's my best friend…"
Drakken stuck out his tongue at her in a sign of disgust.
"It's not so much the best friend part I have a problem with, as much as the, former boyfriend, how could you date such a buffoon?"
"Drew…" - In her tone there was a warning, they might be boyfriend and girlfriend but nobody messes with the sacred relationship of preschool friendship. No one.
"Well...Ron may have his flaws, but so do you…I guess I like my men with flaws…"
Drew lifted a hand childishly, almost as if he was in school and was asking permission to talk, he waited for no such permission however, talking instantaneously, or rather, screaming.
"What flaws do I have!"
"Oh, hum, let's see...you're kind of lazy….you're easily distracted, you have a tendency for evil, you don't tend to focus, you...you…
Kim couldn't keep going however, for she saw the dejected look on Drakken's face. He was getting more and more depressed by every word said, he had asked, but did she have to be so harsh? Did she really mean it?
"But that's all ok...because I really do love you a lot, you're freaking amazing at what you do right, you are awesome!" - She pressed her nose against his, pushing one of her hands below his chin and using it to lift his chin. - "I love you!"
"Mmmhhh, and I do love you, Kim,...!" - They held that position for a few seconds, before he looked at the tv and sighed. - "This commercial break is ridiculous, it's been going for far too long, want to just...hum…"
She knew exactly what he meant, they both laid down, arms intertwined, and awaited for the commercials to end. Kim thought it to be silly, she hated that dumb movie and that stupid cheerleader stereotype, but if Drakken had given up his life dream of world conquering, she could give up an half an hour or so and watch 80's cheese. She finally let out her hair out of her bun, making it spring free.
She could feel the closeness to Drakken and it was amazing, much like the childish man she so much loved. True, she had laid it down a bit thick there, but he had asked for it...she swallowed the feeling of guilt that was starting to enclose her. She'd fight it off with closeness to her favorite man (not counting her dad, though they were pretty close in age)
Everything was well.
The end
Author's note: This is my attempt number 9 at writing drakkim, it just keeps getting deleted, so let's hope this one doesn't. I hope people have enjoyed this story, and hum, if you have enjoyed it or even if you have not, would you kindly review? Trying a Bioshock method here. I don't expect it to yield results but...