Submission Title: Knocking on Heaven's Door
Author: SnowChaser
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own them. DiC owns SH22, Guns'n'Roses owns the song which inspired me for some odd reason… I do, however, own Judy.
Notes: Angsty-stuff ahead, and perhaps a bit of ooc for Lestrade, at any rate. (R&R if you want it continued.) And, for lack of a better term, this is a really, really old story that I decided to post at long last.
Summary: After an unfortunate accident, Holmes is believed to be dead
Pairings: Holmes/Lestrade
Prologue
"Mama take this badge off me,
I can't use it any more,
It's getting dark, too dark to see,
Feels like I'm knocking on heaven's door…" -Guns'n'Roses-
It was over. The stand-off was really over. She should be happy about it, ecstatic even. Instead, she felt only the hollow pit of loneliness as she watched the medics take the sheet-covered body away from the scene. Sighing, she choked back a sob, with a rather rueful smile twitching at the corners of her lips.
One would think, after 200 years, that a new way of bearing away a corpse had been discovered. But, no. She supposed it would always be that way.
The wind picked up, sending her dark cloud of hair into a crazy sort of dance, also disrupting the badge that hung about her neck. It was the badge that brought those sorrowful blue-grey eyes downward with an expression of utter disgust. She didn't deserve this badge. A true officer wouldn't have acted like a coward while their dearest friend was in trouble. Yet she had…
With a self-loathing grunt of disgust, she ripped the badge from her neck, throwing it unmercifully. She would have stormed after it and crushed it to a million pieces beneath her boots, but no. It was too dark to even see her own hand in front of her face, never mind find that thrice-zedded badge. Finally, with this shocking outburst, she uttered a choking sob.
"I hate you!" She managed to sputter, loudly, into the air. "Zed it, I know you can hear me, you egotistical, thrice-zedded…" her voice died in her throat as she spoke. How could he hear her? He was dead, plain and simple.
Sinking to the ground, she pulled her knees up to her chest, as she had as a small child. This whole thing was her own fault. If only she had kept her mouth shut, this never would have happened. He'd still be here, with her. Perhaps even reassuring her at this very moment.
"Zed it, Holmes. Why'd you have to make me care?" She whispered it into the darkness. He'd torn down the barriers she'd so carefully erected since her parents death. Perhaps it was because she'd always read about him, dreamed about him… she'd made it a habit to study his character in all of Dr. Watson's journals. But nothing could have truly prepared her for his true personality.
Perhaps, from the moment he'd opened those stunning blue eyes, fixed them upon her, and said "At your service", she'd been upon this dangerous course. Hadn't she felt her heart tighten when she'd spoken his name aloud?
She lifted her head at the appearance of light, peering into the concerned face of Watson, who looked as miserable as she felt. He offered her a hand, which she took, fighting the urge to cringe at the coldness of metal against her already chilled skin.
"Come, Inspector. You need rest after tonight's ordeal," the voice showed concern, and, carefully, Lestrade followed his lead.
Maybe she'd just wake up, and this would all just be a bad dream.