I'm in a fix and I don't know if I can get out of it.
Her point of view.
Walking down the street she noticed things she normally wouldn't, A mother holding her child close afraid that the world would break the little girl, a homeless man ragged and old, begging for change.
She walks down this street wondering how this could even happen to a person. How it can just change them, and no one ever even realizes.
Walking into the dark alleyway to meet him, she gives him 100 in exchange for the stuff she needs.
She leaves and returns to her car. Never has she been caught and really she never thought that she could be, She wont.
Going back to her empty apartment and putting the bag on her table spilling out the contents, and quickly using only half of them.
Suddenly everything seems brighter, colors blending together. No thoughts are going threw her head because nothing right now matters.
Its a fix everyday, every morning, until it wears off and she has to get more.
She's been doing this for 2 years now. See he came back, with a daughter and a wife, along with there bosses daughter.
She never thought that he of all people would do that to her, and all he had to say was, "I'm sorry," and " you'll understand when your older."
She goes to work everyday, seeing him, its the same each time, He tries to talk to her, and she stares at him like he's retarded and waits for him to leave.
Seeing him everyday since he came back, made her resort to this kind of treatment of to herself.
She does this right under her sister and her sisters husbands noses. Its funny how someone who says she is so close to you, doesn't even see you slowly killing yourself.
A knock at the door, has her standing and slowly, wobbly, walking to the door and opening it, not even caring who it is.
See when he came back those 2 years ago with a wife and child it killed her feelings, or what she had left of them.
When he left her after she turned 17, she lost it, ended up leaving the party she was supposed to be at and went to visit her favorite Cowboy. While there she got wasted, led to her room by a "friendly" guy, where he took pictures of her naked and drunk and then took advantage of her, or what everyone else says, Raped her.
Looking at the person in front of her, she had a hard time figuring out who it was, looking at the leather jacket and polo shirt he had on with the dark blue jeans, and the scent of cologne, aftershave, and cigarettes. His hair styled up with gel, god forbid if he looked bad. Realizing who exactly it was, she tired to shut the door in his face, but he stopped it with his hand, and slipped into her room.
He saw the mess on her table, but she didn't care, he didn't own her and he definitely was not in her life anymore.
He stood there, questioning her, asking her why she would ever do this to herself, that nothing was ever worth this, but she knew, knew that he was worth this.
His point of view.
He didn't know her anymore. She let herself go, she looked like the same girl, always dressed to impress, but her attitude toward everyone was just down right scary sometimes.
She acted like the queen, like the world owed her, and maybe it did. When he came back, with a wife and child, he saw the life that was left in her die.
See he never got to explain to her. He was, or is, being blackmailed into marrying that girl and that if he didn't the media would find out about the child.
He never really thought about the women he was marrying, he pictured the one in front of him the whole time.
He would try to speak to her, coming in and waiting for her in her own specialized studio. Sitting with her and trying to talk to her but realizing it was going to be a one sided conversation.
He wishes he could tell her everything, but under contract he can't say anything. It would jeopardize to much.
He still misses her though, There late night studio times, and picking her up early in the morning to take her to work and make a special stop to starbucks just for her to get her her favorite coffee.
Seeing, what was on the table and just knowing, or well wondering how long it had been going on, or happening.
He kinda has a clue to when it started, when he first came home, the next day she came in and looked high as ever, but he thought it was just from no sleep.
He never pictured he doing this, not his girl. She just wasn't that type of girl, or wasn't, now thats a different story.
He picked up the rest of the stuff that was left, her yelling at him to put that down, that it was hers and she needed the fix, and walked into her bathroom and emptied the contents into the toilet, and flushed it.
When he was in his band he got into this stuff luckily he had friends who helped him get out of his fix, and that is what he is going to do with her, help her out of her fix.