A/N: I decided to start a post-ep series to write more for SVU. I loved the season premiere and in a moment of inspiration this one-shot almost wrote itself.

It addresses the season 18 premiere and some unresolved (in my opinion) business between them from season 17. And I also sneaked in the actors' views on their relationship between them, because I just couldn't help doing so.

I haven't mentioned this before, but I am also on tumblr under the name ''scintillateworld'' for those who are interested. I would love to start receiving prompts from people or suggestions for one-shots, anything Barson basically. So leave me a message in my ask box, or in a PM here and I will write when inspiration strikes.

Warning: contains spoilers for episode 18x01.

I apologize for my rambling, so without further ado, my one-shot. I hope you enjoy.

''Terrorized''

As the day began to wind down and the evening settled in, Barba found himself unable to tear his thoughts away from Olivia. The past few days had been hectic with emotions running high for everyone as they fought to keep a city in terror safe from the possibility of a life altering attack. Lives had already been lost, and fortunately the damage had been minimized.

Unfortunately, he couldn't consider the same for Olivia. She had once again fought for everything she believed in, despite the fact that she hit a wall with each turn. He had admired her courage as she stood by her beliefs, but he also had to fight her on the standpoint.

It had been a series of frustrating days, which had him on his feet and out the door with the intention to check in with Olivia and share a late night drink.

With his favorite scotch tugged in his hand, he waited for the door to open. It only took a few more seconds before she revealed herself. Her face carried an unrelenting pain he'd never seen before, but he refrained from commenting as he took notice of her appearance. She wore a pair of sweatpants, a black top, and a light cardigan on top of it, telling him she had settled in for the night.

He held up the battle, a small smile crossing his lips. ''Thought you could use a drink.'' he said with ease.

''Perfect timing, counselor.'' she quipped, stepping aside to let him into her apartment.

She closed the door and turned around as Barba moved into the kitchen to retrieve two glasses. Inwardly, she felt her heart swell that he'd become so comfortable in her apartment, even knowing the ins and outs of her kitchen. Of course it wasn't surprising with their former tradition of winding down with drinks after difficult cases.

Today, however, seemed to top them all for her. Perhaps it was the combination of exhaustion and emotion that caused her to reach that conclusion, but she truly felt drained. After her walk in the park with Noah she had returned home and spent her time adoring her son, and not taking a single moment for granted. The squad had survived another day. Barba had survived another day, and so had she.

She joined Barba on the couch, finally taking note he was wearing the same suit she'd last seen him in, which suggested he'd been in the office before visiting her.

''Thanks.'' she said while taking a glass from his hand. She settled back in the couch comfortably with a reasonable distance between them.

Barba hovered forward, his elbows on his knees, as he stared down at her floor. Many emotions were crossing his mind. ''Have you spoken to Dodds at all?'' he asked bluntly, immediately raising the topic of concern to him.

Her first response was to avoid the subject altogether, but it seemed Barba had other plans in mind. She watched him shift on her couch, fully coming to face her. With hesitance she shook her head softly. ''No,'' she croaked out, unable to find other words to form.

''Give him time.'' he suggested, his voice filling with emotion. He observed her every move and expression, realizing she was hiding from it all. Mostly from the immense responsibility she felt for Dodds' death. From the fear of losing another member of her squad. ''Please, don't do that.'' he said, almost pleadingly so.

Her eyes shot up to his questioningly. ''Do what?''

''Blaming yourself.'' he clarified quickly. He put his glass down on the table before him and focused solely on her in the hopes of taking away some of her pain. ''Liv, the weight of the world isn't supposed to be on your shoulders. You're not responsible for Dodds' death.''

''I know.'' she agreed. ''But that doesn't make it feel right or fair, Barba.''

Her emotional struggle was his as she continued to mask the pain. ''It will never be right.'' he remarked, catching her eyes again. ''But it does you or Noah no good if you carry all the responsibility with you.''

He was so painfully right that is caused her face to soften. Barba was one of the few people in her life she considered a true friend, even her best friend. It was often the reason that things would get heated between them. There seemed to be a fine line between professionalism and friendship between them, from which they found their way back most of the time.

But over the past year nothing had been the same. They had spoken less and less outside of work after he discovered her former relationship with Tucker. They continued to work professionally, but late night drinks and reassurances faded slowly with each passing day. So it surprised her that they were involved in a more personal conversation now.

''This is nice. It feels like old times.'' she remarked with a smile. ''I've really missed this.''

All he thought was how much he felt the same. Maybe even more so. Olivia had been his best friend for years. Together they had become a solid team while also being capable of disagreeing on cases, which had been no different the past few days. But ultimately he made her tougher and she opened him up, made him more compassionate. Oftentimes, he liked to think of them as a mess of checks and balances. One couldn't exists without the other, balancing each other. There was an unspoken understanding between them, a small knowing that forgiveness was never far out of reach.

''I missed this, too.'' he confessed as a familiarity washed over him. It was a moment of pure bliss he suddenly felt. A feeling he only ever found when he was in her presence. ''I never stopped caring, Liv.'' he began to explain, but stopped for a moment to find the right words. ''Circumstances just seemed to force our hands in choosing our careers above anything else. I detest what the past year has done to us.'' he said, putting weight on the word us, as if to give her a subtle hint.

She could see the raw emotion in his eyes, sending a shiver through her body. ''So do I.'' she whispered in agreement, never looking away from his eyes. ''For some reason you fit into my life so seamlessly that I feared getting used to us not only being colleagues, but friends…and…'' she stopped and faltered, not being able to say those last words.

He reached out for her hands suddenly, squeezing them reassuringly. ''And with all the insanity in our lives, the thing I was most afraid of losing was you, and sometimes I wonder if I ever had you in the first place.''

Her eyes began shining with tears. ''Rafael, there hasn't been a moment that you haven't had me. I've at least always been your friend.''

Both glasses of scotch had been completely forgotten, and he couldn't bring himself to care. This seemed to be their defining moment, and he was going to face it head on.

''Do you ever wonder about us?'' he asked without hesitation, needing to know if the thought of them together had ever crossed her mind.

''In what way?''

He no longer wanted to respect the distance that was between them, so he moved towards her on the couch. ''Us together, being something more. Giving it a real shot.''

She lifted her hand to his cheek lovingly. ''All the time.''

As the words registered, he indulged in her gorgeous smile, the compassion of her brown eyes, and the disbelief of what was happening. He leaned forward, their bodies moving closer in a torturously slow pace. He paused for a moment, and then seconds later the distance evaporated as his lips found hers.

It was slow at first, the perfect mix of softness and curiosity, and then they just sunk into it with the passion growing. It was everything a first kiss had never been for either of them. It was perfect and sweet.

With the heat in her body growing out of control, she pulled back slightly to come up for air. Her hands rested on his shoulders, and she let one slide down, coming to rest against his chest. ''Despite everything, I haven't felt happier.'' she beamed.

''Neither have I.''

And without another word, her lips found his again.

This was the start of new beginnings, promises of something greater. And nothing could be more right and more perfect.