Death of a Jedi
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II and I'm not making any money from this fic
Summary: After Atton tells Exile of his past, where he killed and turned a lot of Jedi, Exile thinks on it and what it means now that she's agreed to train him as a Jedi…
Warning(s): I suppose mentions of violence; spoilers for KOTOR II; mentions of death
Author's Note: I hope people will enjoy this - it's the first KOTOR fic I've written in a while
Exile stood in her room, staring dumbly at the wall. What had she just done? Atton had killed, hurt Jedi; and she'd just awakened the Force inside of him. It didn't matter that he'd clearly wanted training. She'd just turned him into something he hated not too long ago. If he fell to the dark side, it would be on her head.
I suppose he wouldn't have told me if he didn't trust me… That didn't make Exile feel much better, though. In a way, she probably would have been happier not knowing. It was said that ignorance was bliss, after all. Then again, she had pretty much pushed him into a confession. If only that Twi'lek hadn't said anything… She wouldn't be faced with this problem now. The Twi'lek had said he'd been doing her a favour because she'd helped the refugees. Some favour… However, it was obvious he hadn't know anything about what Atton had done before she'd met him.
It still didn't make it any easier to bear, though.
Exile had fought before, of course. She'd fought in the Mandalorian Wars. But there was something frighteningly sinister about Jedi fighting other Jedi. She'd been exiled before the Civil War had started, and had avoided the fighting as much as she could. Even now, she didn't truly see herself as a Jedi. The Council had cast her out - and she still didn't know the real reason why.
But she hadn't killed Jedi. Not like Atton had - and enjoyed it. She hadn't liked fighting in the Wars, but had seen it as necessary - at the time. Now, she wasn't so sure.
How could she look at him, talk to him, after knowing what he'd done? She didn't even know if he regretted anything. He'd enjoyed hurting and killing the Jedi - she'd been able to tell that. He hadn't had to state it explicitly. How did she know that he wouldn't turn to that again? How did she know that she hadn't just created a new Sith? There were so many questions and not enough answers. Kreia wasn't likely to be of much help - she seemed to see things in shades of grey.
I suppose Kreia has a point there, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be helping people. I can't just ignore it when someone asks me for help.
"Something's troubling you, Exile," Kreia's voice echoed in Exile's mind. "At this stage, any kind of distraction could prove fatal to your destiny."
Exile considered Kreia's words for a few moments. The older woman certainly wouldn't have been her first choice for a 'sympathetic ear'. Besides, she didn't know how much - if anything - Kreia knew about Atton's past. It probably wouldn't be fair to talk about him behind his back. At the same time, though, she couldn't keep thinking about it. She had to stop thinking about it somehow.
"It won't distract me," Exile promised. "I'll figure out a way to get my mind onto something else - like my training."
"You should try talking to Atton," Kreia suggested, before Exile felt her withdraw from her mind.
Exile stood still, staring at the wall, now beginning to feel calmer. She would have come to the decision to talk to Atton on her own eventually, she supposed. Kreia had just sped up the making of that decision. There was no point in waiting to go and talk to him, so Exile headed out of her room and to the cockpit.