This is my first ever story! Sorry if I make any mistakes. I'm really nervous about it and any reviews are appreciated. I'm Australian so sorry if my spelling is different to American English.
This story is planned to be a one shot about RosexDimitri. This is set after Frostbite but before Shadow Kissed. Rose gets a tad tipsy and forgets to put a filter from her brain to her actions and words. I hope you enjoy!
Of course, I own none of the characters-I wish I did!
This room felt like a prison. I was restrained. If the academy wanted to keep me in here tonight, I'm fine with that. All thanks to my friend in a bottle. Eddie had supplied me. "Eddie, I love you. Why can't you be happy? It's not your fault Mase…", I couldn't finish the sentence. Even though I was talking to no one, I still felt like I was being judged. Walking around school I could feel the glares. Mason's other friends would look at me with pity in their eyes. I didn't need their pity. Why can't they be like everyone else? People who didn't know Mason were the ones giving me glares. I, Rose Hathaway, was normally awesome at ignoring the whispers, but I know they were about Spokane. Every time, I struggled to keep my memories away. All the what if's kept me awake at night.
Eddie was even falling apart. Poor Eddie. He wasn't even conscious. Time after time, I would tell him it wasn't his fault. The nod of his head told a different story to his eyes. The once carefree eyes now had a haunted look in them. All because of me.
Drinking the bottle was supposed to make me numb, not bring back memories. It was funny. Who knew drinking had a different effect depending on who you drunk with. When I'd gotten drink at Jesse's party once, I was the life of the party. Getting drunk with Lissa on the road made me a cuddly drunk. Being left with myself to drink with my demons made me a depressive drunk.
My phone buzzing took me out of my thoughts. The phone ID read 'Lissa the Princess Friend'. She hated me calling her that. She got so annoyed by it. Wish I had her problems I thought. She was a princess, possessed a rare element only to have the side effects removed, (thanks to me), be the centre of attention, have two bad ass guardians. The last thought interrupted my list. Here I was, working my butt off just to protect her and she doesn't even care. She's too in love with Christian to even notice anymore. This brought me onto the thing I envied the most. Her freedom to love whoever she wanted to. Oh Dimitri, my big, husky Russian God. Finally, I picked up the phone.
"Liss, what do you want?" I didn't mean to be so crude, but this was my time to be drinking my problems away.
"Come over Rose! Christian is practicing his offensive magic. I'm soooo bored." she dragged on. Now she only wants me because Christian isn't with her. I've now become her second choice. She's my first choice. She has to be! Heck, I have to choose her before the one I love the most. No, for once, Princess Lissa was not getting what she wanted.
"No Lissa. Not tonight." I mentally gave myself a pat on the back. I finally put my needs before hers. I was a weird sensation to do so. Of course, rejection washed through the bond. The one time she gets rejected, I even felt it. I had just rejected myself. Doing something I haven't done before, I giggled.
"Rose, why are you giggling? You never giggle?" she was asking so many questions.
"I'm giggling because I'm happy! Finally genuinely happy. Do you know how weird this feels?" a sudden purge of happiness washed over me. This must of been another sign of how wasted I was becoming. First depressive and now happy. Take Lissa to destroy that.
"You're drunk Rose!" the way she said it sounded like an accusation. What was she? My mother!
"So what?! You don't even care!" shock and confusion washed through the bond. It also told me her next words which was probably going to ruin her night.
I need to find Rose. Now preferably before she does something stupid. I'll ask Dimitri. I'm not allowed out so maybe he can figure out what's going on with Rose.
No! She couldn't send him. Anyone but him. He'll give me one of the looks he has when he's disappointed. I've been working so hard to make him proud of me. Dimitri never says it though. Ever since Spokane, I thought he'd be more open with his feelings. Obviously, that night he told me I have his heart didn't mean as much to him as it did to me. He was not seeing me. I had to get going now or else I would risk being found with a half empty vodka bottle next to me.
Standing up so fast wasn't the best idea I've had. "Damn you!" I said to the vodka even though I had been the one willingly drinking it. Slowly and steadily, I opened my door only to see a grumpy Russian standing there. His looks always stunned me.
His eyes were get easy to get lost in. At first, they were mysterious and hard to read. Now I could read what his eyes were saying almost every time. Almost. They would hold love and longing in lighter times as well as amusement. Other time they could hold kindness or even authority during his zen life lessons.
His shoulder length hair was tied up. The shade of brown was perfect. Not too dark and not too light. I still remember how soft it was. The lust charm had really messed with my denial. Knowing that he wanted me as well, it was the best feeling at the time. Now, I'm not so sure.
And his body. Oh god, where do I even start. His body was built and very defined. His arms could choke a man and put him lights out, but I also remembered how they can be so comforting. Especially when he picked me up and was carrying me to his bed and… WOW! Where did that come from. He wanted to be strictly professional even though I knew he loved me so I should be professional too.
"Lissa called me," his words broke me out of my daze "she's worried about you. I wanted to know…" his didn't finish his sentence before he was in my apartment. He had obviously just seen the bottle of alcohol. Shit! This was not good. His long fingers picked up the neck of the bottle. He gave me the look I had expected him to. A look of disappointment. Before he opened his mouth, I just took off.
Running down the halls until I reached the door, I heard him call after me. Sure, he could run longer distances than what I could, but I could sprint faster. Leaving the dorm, a cold gush of wind hit me. I was tempted to go back inside just to get out of the cold. Looking back and seeing a pissed off God made my better judgement. I started off on a quick sprint. Wanting to run somewhere, anywhere. A place Dimitri-free.
Finally reaching a pond in the middle place made me stop. It was pretty far out and I don't think Dimitri will be able to find me anytime soon. It was so peaceful. Only sounds of water moving interrupted the silence. Silence meant being alone with my thoughts. This was never a good sign. Dimitri wouldn't get Eddie in trouble would he? Would I get in trouble? Nope, I decided. I'd just get a zen lecture and more laps to run in training.
Leaves crunching brought me back to reality. I didn't even need to look to know who it was. His scent was so known to me now.
"Why did you run?" his voice wavered. Why on earth would he be upset about it?
"Well, I wanted to get more training to become more bad ass. You showing up reminded me of my most important lesson. To run." I tried to make it sound logical but we both know it wasn't working.
"That's absolute bullshit and we both know it," the fact that he swore made me that much more depressed about him catching me drinking. "What are you trying to do? Drink away everything? It doesn't work Rose! We all have to deal with problems but you don't have to get totally smashed! Then you try to run away when I want to know why you've been drinking. Don't you think I should at least know why you're drinking. I love you Roza and I would've helped you more than half a bottle of vodka would've!"
A stray tear left my eye by the time he had finished. He had lost his self-control- not in the way I normally would've liked him to. I had done this to him. I had brought the rage up to the surface. Dimitri was this upset because of me. Look what happened last time I had made a guy mad. He died because of me. Mason going to Spokane was my fault in the first place. Tragedy was always my fault. I wanted to curl up into a ball and scream. Dimitri couldn't see me like this.
"Leave. Please just, leave." I really wanted him to stay and hold me. I knew he was the only one who could mend my broken heart. Even Lissa didn't hold the type of glue my heart needed. Recalling the phone call, I regret being so hostile towards her.
"I'm not leaving you Roza. Not while you're like this." he gestured to the way I sat, knees hugged to my chest.
"So now you care?" a sudden wave of rage hit me. I don't know where it came from, but I knew I wasn't done. "What did you expect me to do? Sit there and get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness?!" I swear steam was just about to come out of his ears.
"No Rose! I at least expected an answer from you. Then what do you do? You run. You wonder why I still think you're young. Events like this only prove it!" Dimitri had definitely lost all traces of self control.
"Why is it such a big deal that I ran?" I was honestly curious at this. He'd brought it up a million times already!
"Because you think I'll yell and scream at you. Maybe I wanted to know why you did this. Is it because of Mason? Becoming Vasilissa's guardian? Rumors?" the next words he whispered could barely be heard. "Because of me? Us?" Now I had known why he had gotten so upset. Dimitri thought I wanted to drink the pain of him away. I had been drinking for all of those reasons though. Just to get away from them all just for a night. I then realized I wasn't drinking just because of him. For once, I was broken in every way.
"No. I've learnt to deal with us, already cried enough about it. Sure it sucks, but what can we do? Run off and live a separate life? We can't. I have to protect Lissa. Protect her freedom." By now I could see Dimitri start to calm down. Only a little bit though. There was still traces of anger.
"People tell me Mason's death wasn't my fault. But it really was. Without him, I feel like a shell of the Rose Hathaway I used to be. Heck, I can't even beat fireboy at my own game anymore!" The witty comebacks were so weak now. They had lost the Rose bravo.
"Maybe I wanted to forget about the world for just one night. Is that so bad?" I had lost my voice by the end of it. I hadn't even realized tears were falling down my face. Dimitri had now sat next to me. It was so tempting just to fall onto him and let the rest of the tears flow out.
"Roza." The one word held so much power behind it. I normally interpreted it as a sign of affection. Right now though, when my mind was buzzing, I thought of it as a sign of pity.
"I don't want your pity. You said it before, shit happens." A sudden thought then struck me. "Why can't you just be proud of me for once. Sure, a nod of a head is nice but I…" I was cut off when soft lips touched my own. After a few seconds of utter shock, I kissed him back.
The kiss was full of hope. Hope that we can be together one day. That we'll be fine, we'll work out. It was a sweet kiss and didn't hold any traces of anger. This kiss meant something. The last kiss we shared was when he told me I have his heart.
"You think I'm not proud of you? Roza, I am so proud. The way you spar gets me distracted all the time. Your beauty is endless. I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I just.." I cut him off there before he get into a pensive state.
"So you're saying the only reason I win is because you're distracted? Here I was thinking I was becoming a bad ass." Dimitri laughed then. His laugh did wonders for the soul. It was like a warm hug on a cold day.
"Roza, you win because you're just that good." He smiled a full smile then. One that nearly knocked me over, even though I was already sitting.
Only then did I realize how droopy my eyes were getting. I really needed to sleep. Oh lord was I going to have a killer hangover by the morning. I assume Dimitri was already reading my thoughts.
"We should get back and get you into bed. Hopefully you'll get some sleep before the hangover kicks in." I tried standing up only to fall back down on my butt. Dimitri only laughed at me.
"You better not be finding amusement in this Comrade!"
"Too late Roza!" he chuckled. Ass.
Two strong arms then picked me up. I fell asleep almost instantly in them. They were just so warm. It felt like home. The feeling of a soft bed woke me up from a little nap. The walk back felt so quick. Dimitri gave me a kiss on the forehead before he went to walk out the door. My skin was still buzzing from where he placed his lips. I then didn't want him to leave. Being held in his arms seemed like a top priority for me at the moment.
"Stay Dimitri" Those 2 words sounded mumbled. I was still surprised I was able to talk considering how tired I was.
"Roza you know I can't." I knew that would be the answer but being Rose Hathaway, I wouldn't settle for that.
"Please?" It was funny how much it sounded like a plea. I also suspected he would've left by now.
The bed becoming lower was confusing at first until I smelt him. His scent was just intoxicating.
"You stayed." It sounded more like a question than a statement.
"Of course. You asked me to." The words were so loyal and held so much force.
"Well in that case, I'm going to ask you to.."
"Roza, please don't finish that sentence." I could feel the amusement in his voice. I smiled knowing I had caused it.
"G'night Comrade." I was finding it hard to string out a few sentences at the moment. Wrapping his arms around, I could feel myself falling into a deep sleep. I only just heard Dimitri's last words.
"Goodnight Roza. I'm so, so proud of you. I love you more than you could ever imagine." With that, I feel fast asleep.