Fan-fiction

DPOV- set after last sacrifice- chapter 1

I can't believe I told her "love fades, mine has". The look on her face made me almost breakdown. I should have ran after her but I'm a coward. My Roza will never give up that's just the way she is but now she will give up on me. Good! I say to myself, she needs to move on even though it will hurt both of us. I'm upset with her in a way. I would had never hesitated to spend forever with her. No matter how the situation was. It hurts me to actually admit to myself that I do remember everything when I was a strogroi. How badly I wanted her to spend forever with me. I was so determine to kill every human, vampire and animal who got in my way from me having my beautiful Roza by my side. The sad part about it I was excited for us. I loved her so much that I was selfish. Everything that I wanted for us when I was the normal me, I wanted it so much stronger when I got turned. People think once you're turned your judgments go away and you're a lost mind running around killing innocents. I have experience being turned and everyone was wrong. I felted the same but I wanted to be reckless. I didn't care what others thought about what I do. I was free. I was also upset that my pride was shattered but the only way to ease those feeling was when I killed. I was me but then I wasn't because the normal me will never had killed innocents. I'm still struggling till this day of what I done. Especially what I had done to rose. That's the worst part I have to deal with every day of my life now. Every day my heart aches every time I think of rose, which is very often. I started to drink whiskey almost every night so I can sleep. Physically I'm still strong and can kill anything with my bare hands but inside I feel like I rather be dead then to deal with the pain I feel towards of what I done. I try to keep away from everyone so I can suffer in my misery because I deserve it but I'm guessing some old friends still care for me. One is Tasha, she comes almost every day which is annoying but I'm still a gentleman and can't ask her to leave. The other person I will never get annoyed with is the princess. She doesn't come that much maybe twice a week but I'm grateful to have her here. She did save my life. She told me she rather come every day if that's what I wanted. I said no that I rather her be around rose and look out for her. She was shocked to hear that but I told her it's because rose needs her. The darkness has gotten a bit out of hand the last time I was alone with rose. Seeing ghost is scary and I've seen what rose can see once. Which is why the princess needs to be by her more often. Sometimes princess comes to my room when rose is sleeping because she doesn't want rose to see what we talk about which is mostly of rose but I stopped talking about her. When princess talks about rose I just listen while drinking whiskey. Princess is the only one I allow to see me drink but she understands my situation without judging. It's almost bed time so I started my drink on the rocks. On my third cup my eyes started to get heavy so I closed them. Once I did I was back at the cabin in the academy. I was looking around thinking how did I come here. I was getting freaked out so I ran up to the door but never opened it because there was a beautiful young women laying on a bed. I knew who it was and I started to cry. Rose was sleeping naked under the covers, I know this because it was our first night we slept together and while she slept I was up just looking at her. So beautiful she is, long brown wavy hair with high cheek bones, long dark eye lashes, nose just right for her face and those full lips that I used to kiss. I was in love with her so bad that I was going to quit my job to be with her. Thinking about what we had done in that cabin I started to cry more. I walk slowly to the bed and kneeled by her head. I didn't touch her I just looked and wept. She started to say something….

"I love you Dimitri"

I had to get out of here before I grab my own stake and put it through my already shattered heart.

I awoke with a jump. It was a dream. Oh my god it was the most realistic dream of my life.

I looked at the time and it looks like I was asleep for only an hour. Great now I'm having dreams about rose and I. I was too wired so I got up from the seat I fell asleep on and went for a walk since I know I wouldn't sleep after that. Before I left I chugged the last of whiskey I had left. Since it was daylight out I knew almost everyone was asleep. I need fresh air already. Been in my room for week. Tasha the one who brings me food 4 lunch and dinner since I sleep later then I used to I don't need breakfast.

As I was walking around I felt myself feel a bit more tipsy than usual. I sat myself on the nearest bench I can find. Just why did I drink so much? I put my head in my hands and stood like that for few minutes because someone was right in front of me tapping their foot. I look up and Tasha was there shaking her head.

"your drunk"? right?" she asked.

" if I said no you wouldn't believe me anyways" I said. I can't even lie with a straight face because I was drunk.

"dimka"!

"Tasha, please don't shout, your going to make someone look this way"

"oh really like who"? she said while looking around." There's no one around"

Most of the time I'm a gentleman but being drunk I said flatly " what do you want" while putting my head in my hands again.

"so excited to see me" she said sarcastically, "but dimka since I was going to tell you later on I will just tell u now".

I looked up at her and waited impatiently. She just looked at me. "well"?

"well, I am inviting you to christen birthday party in two days, and your coming no matter what you say". She said with a smile

"tasha, I really can't think straight right now so can you ask me later"?

"nope, your coming, now let's get you back to your room"

"no tasha, I can find my own way"

She put her arm around me anyways and I flinch at first because I hadn't had anyone touch me since I got back. She noticed it and looked sad so I let her lead me to my room. We were talking and I made her laugh at my drunken slur accent. We turned the corner and I stopped first which made tasha stop. She looks up at me and was about to ask what's wrong when she followed my gaze. Rose was there just staring at us with no expression on her face. I just stood there staring because this is the first time I seen her in a few weeks. I was drunk to so I looked like a dog in love. Rose doesn't say anything until she notice tasha holding my arm.