Birthday present for Cari, my awesome cousin! She's new to -Man and she ships Laven so I took it upon myself to write this for her birthday. First -Man fanfic whoo! I think I did pretty good but not very, I'll get better the more I work with the characters. And oh my god I wish you guys could have seen her reaction! It was so awesome! She was already hyper when we started reading and she was literally screaming! It was amazing! I hope you guys enjoy this as much as she did.
Cari: I love it- oh my gosh it's so cute and adorable! *starts quoting lines from the fic* (This is actually what she said when I asked her if their was anything she wanted to say. Pure fangirl right there.)
Anyway, happy birthday Cari I love you!
"Do you think we'll be able to leave today?" a woman sitting next to Allen asked him, her hand hovering near her chin and mouth in worry. They sat in the train station, waiting for news about the storm. Everyone already knew the outcome this would have, they had been caught out in the blizzard on their way here, but they were hopeful that the train would be able to pull through for them so they wouldn't end up stranded in town until the storm passed but there hadn't yet been word from the crew.
"I don't know ma'am but I hope so." Allen smiled at her and she returned it gratefully before looking back to where the staff was discussing what to do. Compared to the heavy tension in the large station created by the people in waiting, their mission seemed light. Not that it was difficult at all; a piece of innocence had been causing some unusual occurrences in the town neighboring the one they were currently in but the investigating finders had done a remarkable job at tracking the innocence and learning as much as they could about it so it was easy to collect; it also helped that there hadn't been many akuma around for it that they had to take care of. Originally this was just this was actually just his mission but Lavi had insisted on tagging along for whatever reason but Allen didn't mind, he enjoyed the company especially if it was Lavi's.
The cursed exorcist turned his blue eyes to the oddly silent redhead that sat to his other side, wondering why the expected complaints about the cold weather hadn't yet come. In fact Lavi hardly even said a word since they had entered the building… actually, he'd been relatively quiet the entire mission. He wondered why that was.
"We apologize to have kept you all waiting," the train instructor shouted for all the hopeful passengers to hear and draw in their attention. "And we regret to say that due to the weather; the train will be delayed until the storm passes!" a collected sound of disappointment and frustration vibrated in the building.
"Aw man!" Lavi whined, causing his comrade to turn to him. "Now we're stuck!" unknowing the reason, the younger of the males felt relieved to hear his upset voice again, relieved just to hear him speak at all after his mysterious quietness.
"And who knows when this blizzard will let up." the white haired teen added solemnly, his shoulders sagging in defeat. They both agreed in their dislike for the cold. "We should probably get a hotel to stay in for now." both the boys looked at each other momentarily before turning their heads to gaze outside to the howling winds that whipped the snow to and fro, a feeling of dread coming over them. Unless the hotel was very well heated, they'd be freezing their butts off during the duration of their stay- especially during the night.
"You know if it gets cold we're gonna have to cuddle." Lavi said with a cheeky grin, receiving an odd look from the other. Not that he was opposed to the idea but Allen was sure he was just joking though Lavi did have the tendency to be unpredictable so he simply chose not to respond to that.
"I better call headquarters and let them know that we'll be stuck here for a while." he stated as he stood from his spot.
"Uh- hey Allen!" Lavi chased after him, rubbing the back of his head as a nervous chuckle fell from his lips. "Do you think you could leave me out of the report?"
"Huh? Why?" the younger questioned as he stopped in front of the phone.
"Well…" he trailed off with a guilty smile. "Bookman might sort of think that I'm still locked in my room reading right now."
"Wait, you snuck out?" Allen exclaimed in surprise. He knew that Lavi could be a little lazy sometimes but that was only after his work was finished and by that point he pretty much deserved it. He never thought that Lavi would skip out of his work- well he did bring some books with him that he said Bookman wanted him to read so he supposed the older wasn't really abandoning it. But now that he thought about it, just as he was leaving Lavi had pretty much just jumped in the boat with him, saying that it was 'totally fine' that he just take off like that. The younger hadn't questioned him as he was eighteen and could make his own decisions or whatever and… well, he just didn't question it.
"Cut me a break, piles of books were dumped off at my room and I was told to have them all read by the end of the month. Not to mention all the extra lessons he's putting me through- I can barely sleep without him breathing down my neck! That old geezer's trying to work me to death so yeah I took off when he said he was going to leave me to start my reading- I had to get out of there to take a quick break! Please don't tell him where I am or he might find his way through this storm just to kick me and drag me back!" Lavi begged, just short of getting on his hands and knees. Allen just glared lightly at him as he picked up the phone.
"Then that's what you would deserve for making him worry about you." he lectured but before Timcanpy could grab the phone cord to connect to headquarters, the older of the boys grabbed him so he couldn't.
"Please Allen." he requested again, his voice losing its playful edge and his eye seriously pleading with the other now. Allen just stared in shock as he debated with himself on what he should do. Should he be honest about Lavi's whereabouts and hand him over or should he lie and surrender to that irresistible face? No. No, he must not lie even if it was for Lavi. He sighed heavily as he took Timcanpy away from the other to allow him to grab the phone line, trying to ignore the sad and defeated expression on Lavi's face.
"Yes, Koumi?" he started when the line was picked up by the chief. "It's Allen. I just wanted to report that I've collected the Innocence." Lavi turned to him sharply, beautiful emerald eye full of hope since he had said 'I' instead of 'we'. Oh, what was he doing? "However I've been caught in a storm and they said the train's delayed until it passes."
"Oh, that's really too bad." Koumi whimpered sympathetically. "I understand. Come home when you are able to and be sure to keep the Innocence safe. Keep your eyes open for any akuma that will try to steal it from you." after a short pause, he lost his ever temporary serious tone as it returned to his happy go-lucky cheerful one. "And stay warm!"
"I will. Thank you Koumi." he hung up and turned to Lavi who pulled him into a crushing hug.
"Thank you Allen, you're the best friend ever! I'll make it up to you, I swear!" with that, he was released all too soon.
"You'd better." he stated, straightening out his clothes as he tried to ignore how warm Lavi's body was and how he wanted to be touched by him again. "Well sitting around here certainly won't get us anywhere so I guess we'd better get going." he got back to the matter at hand so his mind would stop its wandering. Lavi sighed, knowing that Allen was right but he also knew that Bookman would soon find out that he was missing- if he hadn't already. If they didn't get back soon, his workload would triple what it already was. But he somehow felt that it would all be bearable since he got to spend some more time alone with Allen which is actually the whole reason he ran away in the first place.
After two days and nights, working into a third, they were still stuck in this snowstorm. There was even word that the train might be delayed even after the storm finally stopped because they'd need time to clear away all the snow! Although while that was bad news, the good news was that no akuma have made their way through the storm to attack them for the Innocence they carried. That was a huge plus.
"We'll be stuck here forever!" Lavi suddenly shouted, throwing his arms above his head as he lay in his bed. Having been in the middle of reading, Allen jumped in surprise but once the initial shock passed, he smiled. Lavi had been acting more like himself today. While they've been here, the redhead's either had his nose in a book or been staring off at nothing. Either way, he's been very quiet. But now that he had finished all the books he had brought with him and was left to sit around being bored, he was acting more like the mischievous teenager that Allen knew and loved. That made him happy.
"It's not that bad." Allen shrugged, keeping his reason for saying that to himself. He didn't think it was that bad because he got to share a room with Lavi for the past two days.
"Yeah, during the day!" the redhead exclaimed, rolling over to face his friend. "But it's freezing during the night and no amount of blankets makes it any warmer!" Allen chuckled and returned to the book he was reading. It was one of the many Lavi had brought with him that he was letting him read to help pass the time, and he quotes, 'as long as you don't tell anyone'. He wondered what was so wrong about him reading it but as he started into it, he realized that it was a part of history that he had never even heard of. He guessed that maybe it was a recorded piece of history from the Bookman Clan but if Lavi was allowing him to read it then it couldn't be important, right? But seriously, Allen knew that the other exorcist read a lot as a bookman but this was the first time he had ever seen him bring more than two or three books on a mission which meant that he must have really been trying to work while also going on this mission with the younger teenager. He had called this a break so why did he spend most of his time engulfed in his assignment? It didn't make sense. "I wasn't supposed to be gone this long… that old panda's gonna kill me…" he mumbled as he buried his face into the bed.
"Well that's what you get for sneaking away." he stated matter-of-factly, once again turning back to the book he held.
"So cruel…" Lavi muttered and Allen sighed. He knew the other had brought with him what he figured he could finish during their short mission and if Lavi knew he was going to be gone this long, he definitely would have brought more.
"Since you are still working, Bookman can't get that mad at you, right?" he asked with a light heart.
"Sure, if that's all I was supposed to be doing." his head had lifted to rest on his arm as he now stared at the wall, his voice becoming more… sad. "He's putting me through more training lately because he thinks I'm not behaving like a proper bookman." he sounded so serious and upset but over that… he sounded lonely.
"What does that mean?" Allen asked worriedly and Lavi finally looked over to him, his face void of any emotion. They stared at each other for a while before the older finally broke eye contact to roll onto his other side facing away from his friend. He wanted to answer Allen's question, he did… but he couldn't. Normally he would just laugh it off and say it was nothing but he was finding it difficult to lie to his best friend at the moment even if it was for his own good. "Lavi?" no response. Allen sighed as he closed the book in his hands, leaving it on his bed as he got up only to sit at the other's side. "Lavi," he called but the other wouldn't turn. "You know you can talk to me." he said almost pleadingly where he had tried to sound reassuring. Slowly Lavi turned to his head toward the other though his eye remained on anything else as he still debated if he should just go for it and explain everything.
"Excuse me but could you come check on my mother again?" a woman's voice called through the door after an interrupting knock echoed in the room which caused the redhead to instantly turn away once more with insecure arms folded over his chest. With an irritated huff, Allen got up to answer the woman. Her elderly mother had gotten sick from the bad weather and she had run to them for help last night, begging the boys to check on her as if she were about to die. It was just a minor illness but the old woman's body was rather fragile with age.
"Don't bother getting up, I'll handle it." Lavi made no reaction which irritated him further but by the time he pulled the door open and stepped out into the hall with the girl waiting on the other side, a gentle smile was on his face.
Yes… Lavi knew he could talk to Allen, he knew that the white haired boy would be supportive, caring, and understanding of anything he had to say. But how was he supposed to say that was the problem? He was a bookman, he wasn't supposed to hold anything precious to him, he wasn't supposed to have connections… he wasn't supposed to have a heart. But he did have a heart… and it belonged to Allen. Ever since they first met, he's felt as if they've been connected and ever since, the boy with the white hair and the cursed eye has been the most precious thing in his life. But that was a big problem for a bookman… especially for the supposed successor for the clan. He couldn't love Allen… he wasn't supposed to. That didn't stop his heart from doing it anyway. His mind told him to burn away his heart that carried these feelings for the boy since he wasn't supposed to have it anyway but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He loved Allen too much to give him up and he enjoyed the warm sensation that these feelings of love and acceptance brought him. He couldn't give Allen up, he didn't want to.
… … …
"A warm bath and rest should do her fine." Allen told the woman on his way out. Her mother had improved since he had seen her last night. He was no doctor but he had cared for sick people before so he knew what to do.
"Thank you very much." she smiled brightly at him and he nodded as he told her not to worry about it before he started walking back to the room he shared with Lavi. Maybe he could get him to talk about whatever was on his mind now- no, he shouldn't push it. He needed to wait until Lavi was ready to talk to him and just the fact that he had said anything about it at all meant that he was starting to open up, right? Very slowly but Allen was sure they would get to a point where they were both comfortable talking to each other about everything.
Upon opening the door to their room, Allen found the older boy standing in the middle of the room with his back turned to the door though once he heard it open he quickly spun around and held his arms out to his sides.
"I built a fort!" he exclaimed proudly. Peering behind him, Allen saw that he had indeed built a fort out of pillows, blankets, and chairs.
"So you did." he nodded before Lavi turned back around to put on some finishing touches. "Why?"
"Because it's cold and it's fun." he answered simply before he practically dived into it.
"You do realize that by using all of our blankets for the fort, we're not going to have any for ourselves tonight."
"Don't worry, I'll take it down before then." Lavi's carefree voice sang from inside the blanket fort. Carefree… he was rather carefree and even when he wasn't; he was amazing at hiding his worries… so what was weighing down on him so much that it would show through the illusion?
"What's on your mind Lavi?" he found himself asking regardless of his earlier decision to wait until the older brought it up himself. He was only met by silence. He sighed and moved to in front of the fort, trying to coax Lavi into coming out as one might do with a child… a stubborn child. After a few minutes, a piece of paper was put out in front that read 'No Allens Allowed'. "Now that's just rude." he whined, suddenly wanting to go in. When he was still silent, he decided to go ahead and crawl in despite the sign which earned him many shouted complaints from the redhead inside.
"Allen this is my fort, get out! Didn't you read the sign?"
"Yes, I did, which is why I'm here." he laughed regardless of his earlier frustrations with the older boy. He looked at Lavi to find that he was already staring at him. "What?" he questioned the sad, almost longing gaze in his emerald eye.
"It's nothing." he stated as he turned away again.
"Lavi?" to avoid answering, he redhead quickly shot to his feet though he knew it would destroy the fort which came tumbling down on them. The older of the boys tripped while trying to escape the falling structure, landing next to the other who had been trapped in the mess of bedding as well.
By the time everything settled, the two were laughing over the whole thing and at each other whether it was that Lavi had part of a blanket wrapped around his head or that Allen had practically been devoured by a pillow. Both of them had been completely buried and the only reason they could still see each other was because they had been buried together. Lavi actually had to save his companion from a chair that threatened to fall on him by pulling him onto his own body which just barely put them both out of the chair's landing zone. They continued to laugh over it as Allen thanked him which was returned with a casual 'it's fine'. Neither of them even bothered to get flustered over how physically close they were lest it ruined the moment. Allen was blushing at the closeness but he feared that if he showed any other reaction, he would have to move which he didn't want. While for Lavi, these were the feelings he never wanted to be rid of. The joy of the silly situation, the comfort of being so close to Allen, the heat that rose in his face from the contact, and the warmth of love that spread out from his heart that not even this terrible blizzard could reach.
When he smiled it was just the act of his new persona as 'Lavi' that would someday cease to exist… but this smile and this laughter… it was real. If this is what it was like to be 'Lavi' he never wanted him to cease existing. He wanted to be 'Lavi' forever. But more than anything, he wanted to always have Allen by his side because it was around him that he was really able to be 'Lavi'… it was around Allen that he was able to be a real person and not just a heartless bookman.
… … …
The two exorcists lay in their separate beds, shivering as the cold of the stormy night spilled into the building and seeped through their blankets to prick at their skin. This was the third night they've had to endure the cold and Allen was wishing that the older boy had been serious when he talked of them cuddling for warmth because he knew that Lavi could keep him warm all throughout the harsh night. Maybe he should be the one to bring it up, he was sure the other was cold enough to humor a bad joke. Even if that's what he had to call it to get the redhead to agree, he would just to feel his comfortable embrace again.
"That's it!" Lavi suddenly yelled as he sat up in bed, giving the younger a start. The redhead gathered all his blankets into his arms and slid off of his bed to move over to Allen's, dumping the load down onto his body before lazily straightening them and crawling under all of them so he was on the same level as his friend. Pulling Allen into his arms sent more shivers through them both as their skin was chilled but as the white haired teenager had absolutely no objections about cuddling with Lavi, he put his arms around the redhead. They still held onto each other regardless of their cold touch because they knew they would warm each other up soon enough. Allen nuzzled his face into the older boy's chest, seeking the heat he knew resided within his kind heart. "It's way too cold." he muttered and the white haired boy smiled.
"At least you're warm." as soon as he accidentally let his thoughts slip from his mouth, he blushed darkly and tried to hide further into his crush who started laughing after a moment of shock.
"And you suddenly just got hotter. Maybe you should say more things on accident, it's a great way to keep warm." he teased, causing the other's face to get even hotter which was actually the desired effect.
"Knock it off Lavi." he whined though clung a little tighter to the body he had his arms around. Taking the opportunity to tease the younger boy while he thought he was trying to make him blush more just so they would be warmer… while he thought he was just joking, he leaned a little closer to whisper softly to him.
"Say my name again." turning a brighter red, Allen's face was getting hot enough that he thought it might begin to melt. Why did he have to whisper that so tenderly as if it were a genuine request?
"Stop it…" he trailed off, not wanting to surrender to his companion once again. "Lavi." he added quietly, once again failing to stay strong when put up against the person he loved. That time Lavi was the one to start blushing. He didn't think the kid would actually do it but he did which almost impressed him. Deciding to obey the other, Lavi quieted to give their shared space to silence and that's how they stayed for a long while.
"You know," the redhead started, laying his head comfortably on top of Allen's. "I've always believed that the only home a man should ever have is within his own heart." the younger nodded, remembering when he had told that to Krory to comfort him. "Well…" he wavered on his decision to talk. "I'll tell you a secret if you promise not to tell anyone else- especially not Bookman." when the younger male nodded and promised not to tell, he sighed and continued. "I've started to find a home in the Black Order."
"What's wrong with that?" Allen asked innocently, slightly turning his head up but the older held him in place. He didn't want those blue eyes to look at him right now or else he might not be able to finish.
"As my time in the Order passed, I soon came to a point where I didn't know whether my smiling face was a lie or not." he chuckled weakly.
"But Lavi, you've only seemed more alive since I've known you, I don't think you're losing your smile." the boy in his arms objected.
"I never had a smile to lose Allen… I'm saying that I've been putting on a friendly act and that my smile has always been fake but the more time I spend around you and the others…" he trailed off, trying to keep a hold on his steady flowing thoughts. "The more friends I began to make… my smile started to become more genuine. That's why Bookman's been putting me through so much more training, he's trying to remind me what it is we bookman do and that in order to do it, we can't hold anything close to us… we can't have hearts."
"But you're different." Allen stated calmly, pulling back so he could stare up into the other's green eye. "You have a heart, I know you do."
"Only because of you." Lavi thought aloud without realizing it. He had been trying to speak his mind so he could get this off his chest and it seemed he didn't quite know how to turn the switch off once it was turned on.
"Wha-what?" Allen stuttered, blush once again overtaking his face.
"I- uh… you…" he sighed and just spit it out, figuring lying would only make things worse. "When I said I found a home in the Order, I was talking about you." they both blushed at that, looking away from each other in embarrassment.
"I'm glad." Allen whispered quietly after awhile, moving in closer to nuzzle his face back into the other's chest. "Lavi… you're my home too which is why I'm okay with being stuck here. And if this cold weather brings us closer like this then I'm okay with that too." his arms held onto Lavi tighter as if he would leave him for saying such a thing but instead, he gently squeezed him back to assure the younger boy that he wasn't going anywhere.
"I guess you're right about that." he agreed with a small chuckle. "Though I wouldn't be opposed to being like this even when it's not cold." he added with a more awkward tone, hoping it was okay for him to say that.
"Bookman might be upset with that." Allen spoke with a sad yet hopeful voice. He didn't want to come between Lavi, Bookman, and their job but… but he didn't want to lose Lavi; he just couldn't lose the person that made him so happy. Though he didn't want to make Lavi choose, he really hoped the redhead would choose to stay with him.
"Then we'll have to be discreet." he shrugged a bit more confidently since the younger hadn't said that he would have been upset with it rather than indirectly questioning his true intentions behind his statement. Allen smiled, knowing that Lavi didn't want to choose either because he wanted his job and Allen so he chose to have both even if one was in secret which Allen was okay with as he wasn't willing to broadcast that he was interested in another man because current times forbade such things. Wait… did that mean that they were… did they just get together?
"Lavi?" he called as he tilted his head upward to glance at the redhead only to have hesitant but needy lips pressed to his. His eyes were wide with shock but soon softened with comfort and he kissed Lavi back. The moment was not short lived as the long awaited kiss reflected everything they had wanted to say to one another but couldn't. Their true feelings for each other were finally known and understood as a strong love that was thankfully shared between them. Allen's unasked question was wordlessly answered. Yes, they were together now.
"Allen," the older whispered longingly as they parted. "I love you." a fluttering warm lightness spread through the white haired teen's body and his eyes filled with a joy he hadn't felt since Mana's death as he clung tighter to his newly claimed boyfriend.
"I love you too." he laughed with relief before pulling Lavi down to once again connect their lips in a passionate embrace. They belonged to each other now even if it was in secret, shut away from the rest of the world and their prying eyes, they were happy. In each other's arms is where they belonged, it was their home and that's where they would remain for as long as either of them had a say in it. Love was a wonderful feeling and Lavi was right, it was a great way to keep warm.
