Disclaimer: Star Wars does not belong to me. I'm just borrowing it.
Fire. Ash. Blood pounding in his head. Everything burns, inside and out. Rivers of fire throwing themselves into jagged black shores. Sprawling darkness. Dying light. The sound of clashing blades...Voices…
…not with me, then you're my enemy...
…Sith…absolute…
…I have failed you…
…War. Blaster fire. Smoke. Debris. Thousands of figures in weathered, battered white armor. Blazing lightsabers. Blood. Wounds. Bodies. Screams. Dying...A young man – down, almost made it…A blue-skinned twi'lek woman with large, round eyes - shot too many times, falling into the exotic foliage…Dozens of small, lifeless forms, sprawled on the temple floor…
Who could have done this?
A sinister, grating voice…foul, reeking of darkness…
Hence forth…shall be known as…Vader…
…Rise…
Dark robes, flowing behind the tall, metal clad figure as he strides purposefully. His face is hidden behind a striking steel death's head…deader than he is alive…Loud, rattling breaths, hanging in the air like a lethal mist…Something breathes for him…
…more machine than man…
A slender woman with smooth skin and long, curly dark hair framing her face, clear brown eyes laughing…crying…
…I'm so sorry.
You're breaking my heart!
…features contorted in agony…eyes closing forever…White flowers in her hair…
…still good in him…
Desert. A vast expanse of…nothing? Sand. Dry. An indifferent blue sky. Not a single cloud drifting above him. Twin suns scorching his skin, killing him slowly…Solitude. Loneliness. Time stretching out forever, crawling at so slow a pace. He speaks to the winds. Nothing else will hear him.
…the Dark Times…
Sands burnt black. Flesh burned black, cracking, weeping blood. Hatred. Pain. Tears.
I hate you!
...I loved you!
The Sith lord's eyes, searing amber, rimmed with red…
You were my brother!
Kill him…
You were the Chosen One!
…kill him now.
Fire eyes fading to grey, to blue…
-:-
The middle-aged, female, rodian weapons dealer surveyed her client with narrowed eyes – as narrow as they could be. Over the years she had been in the business, she had seen many different beings – of all sizes, colours, genders, species, intentions, most of them sickening – she could guess them easily now; she was skilled at reading them. It was rare that she saw people like the one she saw now.
Occasionally there were young ones. Sometimes, more often than not, they were of the depraved kind – without shame, without a conscience; they made her shake her head in disgust. But who was she to talk of conscience? She had done many things that she was not proud of. She dealt in instruments of death.
At other times came the other, far scarcer type – the ones with the empty eyes, with the hollow faces, with the pained expressions, with the jaded hearts, with the quiet, desperate voices. They were the ones that made her own jaded heart ache.
This one was a young fellow – slight for a human, in his early twenties, with short russet hair and sea-change eyes that could not quite conceal the despair. His face was blank, but his jaw was clenched tight. He was hiding something. Many of them did.
"So, kid…what is it that you want?"
"I need a poison. Something lethal…and undetectable. Fast-acting and painless, if possible," The last said softly.
He had a smooth, melodic voice that flowed. Beautiful. Darkly beautiful. She could tell from the accent that he was not from here; he was from the upper levels. Few came down this far. She smiled acidly.
"Can you afford it?"
"How much?"
"Two grand per dose."
He showed her the money – substantial enough, but a small price to pay. She disappeared into the back room and came back out with a small vial.
"Here you go. It'll drop 'em dead in seconds."
He thanked her and left quickly, almost vanishing. She was getting too old for this.
-:-
Two weeks have passed, and it still hurts. It feels like I will never get out of this, like it will never fade. Two numb, hollow weeks since my world crashed down, since I watched the Sith cut him down – I can't think the name anymore – two weeks since he left me alone with that wretched boy. I still see it happen, over and over. With each time, my soul grows colder.Only last night spared me. Instead, it gave me something else, something so much worse. I can feel it coming, inexorably. How many years will it take? Ten? Twenty? Five?
I can barely believe that he will become the monster of my vision. What will twist him so? Am I going to fail? What will I do wrong?
I will never find out. Why? Because I will not let this happen. I will stop at nothing to keep it from happening. Even if I have to betray them. Even if I have to betray him. Even if I have to betray myself.
Already, I can feel the attachment forming. I know now why we should not have them. I cling to him anyway, because I have to hold on to something. That child is all I have left. Will it feel emptier when he's gone? Will I have failed?
I know this goes against everything I stand for. I know this is not the will of the Force. I know this is wrong. I know this is right.
I hide the syringe up my sleeve as one would hide their evil intentions.
"Anakin?"
He walks into the room, disheveled and wide-eyed. Too pure…Too painful.
"Yes…Master?" He adds almost as an afterthought.
"Come here."
There is something in my tone that I loathe to hear. He almost senses it. Still, he approaches hesitantly, bright eyes confused yet still trusting.
"I'm so sorry." In a blur of motion, I strike. I am nothing now.
In moments, his eyes roll back into his skull. I feel his heart stop. A sliver of blood streaks down his neck. I seal the wound. I close his fragile lids. He's with the Force now…He's not breathing. Something wet rolls down my face. I feel nothing.
-:-
I never saw you murder in cold blood before, Obi-Wan. As I lay dying, I hoped I would never have to watch you do such a thing. Yet here I am, witnessing it from beyond the grave. I watch you take the life of an innocent, something you once swore never to do. I am trapped in a twisted, nightmarish reality.
You've killed my legacy. You've killed your destiny. Perhaps it is for the best. Perhaps the will of the Force has shifted – Who knows? Even I, now a part of it, am uncertain. I know what he was born to do. He would have been the death of you all. I suppose you did the right thing.
You did what you felt was right. That sense was always ingrained in you. I saw it in you the day we first met. You knew of the consequences, even as you did. You are tainted. You will feel this, weighing heavy on your heart, with every breath, for the rest of your life. It will live in you. It will not die with you.
Should anyone ever find out the truth, they will condemn you for it. Never mind the reasons. You've saved us all, but no one will love you for it, Obi-Wan. You live to suffer. Don't cry…
You look up. You look down. Not real, you say. Just your mind, telling you what you long to hear. I reach to brush the tear from your cheek. My hand pierces you like water.