A/N: I know many of us, myself included, didn't like M. Allison Hart when she was on the show. I think we have to admit though that there was a spark there between her and Gibbs and they most definitely got together for a while. I decided to branch out a bit in this story and see what happened. It has taken me a while to get to a finish point. It was intended to be a much shorter story but sort of took on a life of its own as so many of my stories seem to do. Hope you like.
Three Little Words
Anyone looking in the window at the couple relaxing in the living room of the house in Arlington, Virginia would believe they were seeing two persons at ease with each other and enjoying a quiet evening at home. They would be mistaken.
There were certainly two people sitting together on a comfortable sofa but for very different reasons they were definitely not at ease. Not on this night. The man was sitting at one end of the sofa with his feet on the coffee table. The woman was lying with her head in his lap. He was watching an old movie and she was reading from a Kindle. His right arm rested on the arm of the sofa and his left arm lay across her stomach.
The movie was not holding the man's interest so he let his head fall back on the couch and closed his eyes. His right hand came up to play with the lady's hair. His body was relaxed but his mind was going a hundred miles an hour. The woman whose head rested comfortably in his lap had been out of town on business lately and this was the first evening they had been together in several weeks. He had missed her and was glad she was back. That troubled him some because while she was gone he had realized their time together was coming to an end.
For years Jethro Gibbs had been able to control his personal life by not getting too close to anyone and not allowing anyone to get close to him. He did so out of a deep need to protect himself and because he had failed so many times when it came to protecting the people he loved. From his mother to his first wife and their child right on through Kate and Jenny and Mike Franks, he had let people down. He avoided intimate relationships as much for himself as for the other person. Jethro was tired of seeing people he cared about get hurt. Unfortunately the woman currently on his sofa had not been willing to be put off. She pushed and insisted and cajoled until finally they began a relationship that, while rocky at the beginning, had smoothed out and gone pretty well for several months.
That was about to come to an end though. While the lady was out of town Jethro had made a startling discovery. Feelings he had kept buried for years accidentally came to light very late one night and the knowledge they were reciprocated had turned his life and future upside down. For days afterwards Jethro brooded and worried and tried to make it go away. But "it" wouldn't go away and he finally admitted he didn't want this to go away. Potential problems were too numerous to mention where this was concerned but the most pressing problem was the woman with her head in his lap. He cared about Allison Hart but he wasn't in love with her. He had been happy since they got together but most of the time he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop; for her to move on just like all the others had done.
He had agonized over his decision night after night but by the time she came back he was sure of what he was going to do. Seeing her this afternoon when she arrived at his house from the airport he almost changed his mind. He had known he missed her but when he opened the front door and found her exiting the cab he was struck by how much he had missed her and how much he really liked having her in his life. His confusion must have been evident on his face because she asked him if he was alright. And when she wrapped herself around him he allowed himself to give in and welcome her home in the manner she wanted and expected. Afterward, in the shower while she slept, Jethro cursed himself and swore he would end this crazy situation tonight.
As the hot water ran over his body, Jethro let his mind wander back to "that night" as he had taken to referring to it. It had actually been very early in the morning, maybe two or three o'clock when he'd heard her coming down the stairs into his basement. The case they had closed that night had been particularly grueling and when the team left after ten o'clock he had told them to take the next morning off. He was not quite drunk but he had a good buzz on so when Ziva David descended into his sanctuary his defenses were not at their best. For years Jethro had felt they had a special connection but he repeatedly and mostly successfully ignored his feelings for his beautiful, young agent. For whatever reason, tonight would bring all that to an end.
"Ziva. Whatcha doin here? It's the middle of the night."
"I could not get to sleep. I wanted to talk to you."
Ziva David looked at him and he looked back but neither of them moved or said anything for a long few moments. Jethro had been sanding his boat and he went back to it as Ziva approached. He wondered what was going on; she rarely came to him and certainly not in the middle of the night. He tried to concentrate on the boat but it was not easy to do with her standing so close and him having just that much too much bourbon in his system. He hadn't slept in a couple of nights due to the case and if this went on too long he was wary of what might happen or be said or both.
Finally he put down the sanding block and backed up to lean against his workbench. He told himself he could handle this and tried to think about Allison. After all he was in a relationship and he was happy and he couldn't act on his feelings for Ziva anyway. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her and found her fidgeting with her keys and acting very out of character.
"Ziva is something wrong?"
"No. Yes. I'm not sure. Are you still seeing Ms. Hart?" Ziva stumbled and tripped over her own words and when she finally asked the question she couldn't look at him.
"Yes."
"Oh." She hoped she had stifled her disappointment but she wasn't sure.
"You came over here in the middle of night to ask me about my personal life?"
Ziva took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eyes. She gathered her considerable inner strength and began what she knew would be a difficult conversation.
"I came to ask you if you are happy."
Definitely not what he was expecting but he did her the courtesy of holding her gaze.
"Why?"
"Please, Gibbs, just answer the question."
"Yes, I guess so. Mostly." His hesitancy was evident in his mumbled reply.
"So partly not?"
"Ziver just get to it. Why are you really here?"
"Petty Officer Carver. She told me that she wished she had told our victim how she felt about him. She said she had known for a long time she was in love with him but she did not tell him and now she will never have the chance."
Ziva stopped and looked at Gibbs. He was so focused on her voice and what she was saying he didn't notice she had stepped closer to him. Finally he realized she had stopped talking and was looking at him as if he was to reply. He didn't know what to say so he kept quiet; at technique that normally served him well. In this case it frustrated his guest to no end.
"Do you understand what I said, Gibbs?"
"Yeah, Carver was in love with Petty Officer Banks and she never told him. Pretty sure we figured that out already."
Ziva clenched her fists and her teeth and literally stomped her foot in frustration. Gibbs just looked at her and smirked. He was pretty damned sure what she was trying to say but he certainly was not going to help her. If she was going to tell him she was in love with DiNozzo she was going to have to spit it out all on her own; he wasn't going to help her break his heart.
"You…you….you are the most obstinate and frustrating man I have ever known! I am here because I do not want to find myself in Carver's position one day. I care about you Gibbs. More than as just a coworker. I have very strong feelings for you and I have had for a very long time."
Right up until the moment he heard his name from her beautiful lips he was convinced he was about to be a very unhappy man. When he heard her say his name he pretty much blanked out on the rest of it. All he could do was stare at her and hope she repeated herself.
"Gibbs, did you hear what I said?"
"Part of it. Could you repeat the part that came after my name 'cos that's when I lost you."
Ziva just smiled that fabulous smile of her and stepped up until she was smack dab in front of him. She did not repeat herself. Instead she put her hands on either side of his face, leaned in and kissed him. As soon as Gibbs could comprehend what she was doing, he wrapped her in his arms and let her have her way with him. That kiss went on and on until finally Ziva very reluctantly had to pull away so she could take a breath. She ran her fingers through his hair and laid her forehead against his.
"Do I still need to repeat myself?"
Gibbs was reeling from the kiss and was not entirely sure how to answer her. He very much wanted a repeat of that kiss.
"Maybe just that last part again."
Ziva leaned back in his arms and laughed. The look in his eyes was one she had not seen before. It was gentle and possessive and lustful all at the same time. She liked it.
"Ziver we need to slow down here. You need to let me catch up to you."
"Okay. I am sorry if I shocked you but I have wanted to do that for so long and I could not wait any longer. I suspected you might feel the same but did not know for sure. Am I correct that you have feelings for me?"
"Yes you are correct. But…."
"No, Gibbs. I do not want to hear that this cannot be. We must at least give ourselves a chance."
"Ziver, I'm in a relationship with Allison. You know that. I need time to end that. And, you work for me. That has to be dealt with. It's not going to be simple."
"Simple, difficult I do not care but do not say impossible. I will not accept that. I can quit if I have to in order for us to explore these feelings."
"Nobody's quitting. Just give me a chance to sort things out."
As if to emphasize his interest in their new situation, Jethro pulled Ziva into a kiss that quite literally took her breath away. When he let her breathe again he framed her face in his big hands and soothed her swollen lips with his thumb.
"I never thought in a million years you felt as I do. I have wanted you for so long, Ziver."
Jethro felt as if a heavy weight had lifted from his heart as he said those words to her. Tears filled Ziva's eyes and she laid her head on his chest wrapping her arms around him and holding on for dear life. They stayed in that embrace for a long time neither willing to break the spell.
Jethro knew Allison would be gone for another week and he began that night to work out how he would tell her their relationship was over. He knew it wouldn't be a pleasant conversation but he still found himself looking forward to having it over and done with so he could move on with his life with Ziva.
For her part, Ziva would have been happy to never leave Gibbs' embrace after that night. She had known for years that she loved him but she had no real idea until the year before that maybe he had feelings for her. Then Allison showed up and pretty soon it was obvious to Ziva that Gibbs and the evil Ms. Hart were together. She couldn't figure out what he saw in her but she had to admit he seemed happier since he'd started seeing the attorney they all hated. Ziva had been hoping and indeed even praying that something would happen to cause the, in her opinion, mismatched couple to split. Now apparently, something had happened. She had happened. Ziva smiled into Jethro's chest and gave herself a silent congratulations.
Eventually Jethro let Ziva go and she stepped back just enough that she could look him in the eyes again. She marveled at how quickly her life had taken such a dramatic turn. Just an hour ago she was brooding about Jethro and now she was in his arms and looking forward to exploring a future with him.
"Ziver we need to be careful for the next few weeks. I need to settle things with Allison and we need to think through what we're doing."
"I can be careful and patient but only for a very short time. I feel a lot of time has been wasted and I do not intend to let much more time go by without being with you."
"Are you absolutely sure you want this? I'm old enough to be your father Ziva."
"I am sure and I do not care what your age is. That does not matter to me. I know you Gibbs and I know I will never find another man I care for or respect as much as I do you."
"I think you could call me Jethro now that we've had our tongues down each other's throats."
Ziva laughed and Jethro pulled her to him. He let his fingers get tangled in her delicious brown curls and then he kissed her. It was a slow, sweet kiss that quickly turned into much more. His hands were tugging at her sweater and when his rough fingers found her soft skin they both moaned in satisfaction. Ziva ran her hand under his sweatshirt and scraped her nails up his back. Before things could get completely out of control Jethro broke the kiss and stepped out of Ziva's grasp.
"Wow. We have to stop, Ziver. If we don't there is gonna be trouble and I won't do that to you or to Allison. Please understand."
Ziva gathered herself and shoved her disappointment way down where it wouldn't show on her face.
"I do understand. I do not want to but I understand. You are an honorable man, Jethro and I do not want you to do anything that feels wrong to you."
"You don't feel wrong to me. I can't explain it but I've never cheated on a woman I was with and I don't want to start now. I want you Ziver, in the worst way but I need to wait."
"I know. I should go. When will you…."
"Allison will be back on Friday. I'll tell her that night. Until then we just have to be patient and try to keep things normal."
"It will be very difficult for me to stay away from you but I will. I do not want to put pressure on you, Jethro. Are you going to tell Allison about me?"
Jethro hesitated because he really had no idea how he was going to end things with Allison. He honestly cared for her and did not want to hurt her.
"I don't know what I'm gonna say. I'll have to figure that out in the next five days."
"I am sorry for complicating you life."
"No, don't ever apologize for how you feel. I've never thought Allison and I would be together for the long term. Mostly because I expect her to find someone else better for her. I'll work it out. I never thought I'd have a chance to be with you Ziva and now that I do, I intend to take it."
"I hope you know that long term is what I want with you, Jethro. I do not want just a fling, as they say."
"Me either. Come here and kiss me and then go home."
Ziva kissed him one last time that night and then she left. Jethro sat in the basement too stunned by the night's revelations to get any sleep. The next five days were going to be some of the longest and most trying of his career.
Allison knew Jethro wasn't watching the movie anymore and she wondered why he was so quiet. Of course he was always pretty quiet but she usually heard at least barebones comments even during a movie she knew he'd seen at least five times. Not tonight. Allison was not overly concerned by his silence. He had seemed happy to see her today and he welcomed her home in just the fashion she had hoped for. Jethro was most definitely a man of few words but in their private life his actions spoke volumes and there was no need for him to do a lot of talking. Today had been no exception. She thought he might have been a bit distracted while they were eating but she pushed that thought away. She had other, very important things to worry about at the moment.
Allison had not even the barest hint of what Jethro was thinking about as she lay comfortably in his lap.
Over the year they had been dating, Allison had come to appreciate Jethro more than she had thought possible when they first met. At that time she was determined to help her boss bring Agent Gibbs down and make him pay for what she was told were many misdeeds and outright illegalities in his past. She knew for a fact that Jethro had killed the man he held responsible for the deaths of his first wife and their child. She knew from her extensive research that he had skirted the edges of the law on several occasions to solve cases he was working on and in her rather narrow viewpoint at the time, he needed to pay for that. Now she felt differently. She knew Jethro had done things that strictly according to the law were wrong, but she would gladly defend him any day of the week. He got the job done and he protected his team and the people who were looking to him for answers to very complicated and difficult questions.
Allison had not given much thought to the future and how she and Jethro were going to work in the long run. She hadn't been in a relationship longer than three months until she and Jethro got together so she was in new territory. Knowing his history and track record with wives, Allison was surprised they were still together. She didn't know exactly how to account for their longevity but she suspected her knowing about Shannon and Kelly from the start had something to do with it. Plus, they had faced some pretty hard truths in the very beginning and learned to trust one another under difficult circumstances. She hoped Jethro would remember that after tonight.
Jethro put his feet down and moved to stand up. Thinking Allison was asleep he tried to slide out and let her lie down but she shifted and sat up.
"Sorry. Need to put another log on the fire."
"It's okay. I thought you were asleep you've been so quiet."
"Thought you were."
Jethro didn't look at her. He picked up two small pieces of firewood from the rack and added them to the fire. He poked around, stirring up the embers until the fire was going again. For the longest time he just stared into the fire working up his courage. Finally he turned around and found Allison watching him intently.
"You okay, Jethro? You've hardly said a word since supper."
"Finish your book?"
"Almost. It's down to the nitty gritty so I'll probably finish tonight. You didn't answer my question. Is something wrong?"
Jethro looked down at this feet and then back to the fire. Allison was suddenly nervous. She could almost forget about what she wanted to talk about when she saw the look in his eyes as he finally looked at her. She got up and went to stand in front of him.
"Hey, what's the matter? Talk to me Jethro."
She reached for his hand and laced her fingers with his as she leaned in closer to him. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach and she knew she didn't want to hear what he was going to say.
"I'm just tired. It's been a long week and I didn't get much sleep the last couple of days."
"Are you sure?"
Jethro knew he needed to tell her he wanted to end things between them but he couldn't seem to find the right words. He liked Allison and he hated the idea of hurting her. He thought about Ziva and the kisses they had shared in the basement last weekend. The memory of Ziva's mouth on his and way he felt when she wrapped her arms around him, the taste and scent of her; the memory of all that finally gave him the courage he needed.
"There is something we need to talk about."
Maybe she had waited as long as she possibly could or maybe she had some kind of intuition that said she didn't want to hear what Jethro was about to say. Whatever it was, Allison stopped him.
"I have something I need to talk about too. Can I go first?"
For a split second Jethro wondered if she was going to break up with him and save him from what he needed to do. He was almost glad to put off his end of the discussion for a little while. He figured whatever she needed to talk about couldn't compare with what he was going to do to them.
"Sure. Go ahead."
Allison took a deep breath and reached for Jethro's other hand. The suspense was killing him and he allowed a tiny bit of hope to grow in his mind. Hope that she was through with him and moving on.
"Jethro, I'm pregnant."