"I Missed You"

I sat on my bed playing my guitar. It had been a long day of shooting and a strange day. Kristen acted different around me. Not playful as usual, but rather nervous. I didn't understand her. I thought we had gotten over the kiss thing. I mean we were both some what drunk and we have kissed before, but it there was always an apology after and an "I didn't mean that" look on her face that would tare my heart apart. Nothing ever happened after those stolen kisses and stolen moments. Nothing.

Yet after those kisses, she would still act the same with me, friendly, happy, playful and so open. Now she was acting as if I was a bother by ignoring me and avoiding conversations by just giving me her quick "yeah" and "nope" and then the awkward silence that would kill anything that I wanted to start.

Why was I lying to myself? I wanted that kiss. I wanted her. I always wanted those kisses and I always wanted her. I made it clear to her the first time I realized it. My shyness and awkwardness made it sound like a joke. "I think I like you Kris." I said in a playful tune and she giggled. She didn't realize how much it hurt. Then I would tell her every other day. "You're so cool…love you…marry me…I think I love you…" always in a playful fun, but I didn't have the balls to tell her I meant everything. Well except the marry me part…not yet.

Then things started to get strange. The first time we kissed was in my hotel room. We reading the script for Twilight and there was a kissing scene between Edward and Bella at the prom. When we rehearsed we always skipped the kissing part, but this time I didn't skip. I kissed her and she kissed me back, yet I wasn't sure if this was part of the scene anymore. After, she giggled and started to act nervous. She always messed with her hair when she got nervous. Nothing happened again after that. Tokyo was another story; another stolen kiss, that time she just moved her head away from me and didn't say anything for a while since this was clearly not for the script.

But that one kiss happened a week ago. I was confused. We had not had any scenes together in a week and she has spent the entire weekend with her boyfriend. Maybe he doesn't want her to hang around me anymore. I understood him. If I had Kris, I wouldn't want to lose her. But he was stupid as well. She loved him as she had assured me that one time in Tokyo and many other times trying to discourage me of my pursuit when she realized my love confessions were real and not a joke. A sudden feeling of melancholy filled me and I stopped playing the guitar and looked down to the floor. Like she said, she couldn't and wouldn't hurt Michael, because…she loved him…not me. I never questioned her love for him or to her face at least. I never complained about it. She and I were nothing. She was already with him when I met her. What right had I?

I was taken out of my trance when someone knocked on my door. I got up to answer it and when I saw who it was through the peek hole I was even more confused. It was her. It was Kristen.

I opened the door and she quickly walked in. It almost seemed she was afraid that I wouldn't let her in. That was impossible.

"Kris? What's going on?" I asked and I could tell she was nervous as she was fidgety and by the way she ran her hand through her long brown hair.

"Um…I want..I was wond…" she was not finishing her sentences and was stuttering another sign of her nervousness. "I want to run lines with you." She said. I didn't believe her.

"We don't shoot together tomorrow or the next day. It's just you and Taylor." I said and she didn't look at me and she bit on her lower lip.

"I…it doesn't matt…I wa…can we just run lines?!" she said sounding frustrated. She never looked up at me and kept her green eyes facing down.

"Okay…whatever you want. But what scene? We don't shoot together until Friday." I said and she swallowed hard. She was very fidgety and nervous.

"What?" she said and her voice broke as she said it.

"I mean we still don't know what lines we need…so which lines?"

"Any…all of them… I don't know." She said almost angry. I didn't understand her and she was pissing me off. I took a deep breath and sat on my bed. She finally looked at me with those green eyes that I loved, but she looked sad. Her green eyes seemed glassy and it seemed that in a matter of seconds she would cry. "So…can I stay and run lines?" she asked and walked towards me. I didn't answer and she sat next to me. She stared at me as I looked down and a sudden realization went over me.

"What if I say no? What if I don't want you to stay?" I asked and I looked at her. She rocked back and forth. She was fidgeting again. She stared at me hopelessly and her glassy eyes were full of tears ready to come down her cheeks. She then looked away and sniffed. She gave up.

"That's fine. Like you said. We don't have scenes together…until Friday." She said with a broken voice. She stood up and walked slowly towards the door. I stood up.

"What the fuck do you want from me Kristen?" I said and she stopped walking. "We both know this running lines bull shit has always been that…bull shit! We hardly even touch the god damn script anymore!" I yelled. I was angry. Who the hell did she think she was? Trying to make me feel bad. Confusing me. She turned and looked at me. I could see the tears now. Her pale cheeks were covered in them. She looked down and sniffed. I walked to her and close. "What do you want from me Kris?" I asked again and this time she looked at me and into my eyes. She stared at me.

She looked at my eyes than at my lips. She placed her hands on my waist and since I was so much taller than her she used her hands to pull herself up using my waist. She gently kissed my chin. I didn't know what to do so I just stood there and my heart started to race. She kissed my chin again and then my lips. Again I didn't do anything. She kissed my cheek, below my eye, my cheek again and then my neck. Each kiss was fiercer than the one before it, but still gentle and sweet. She hugged me then. She buried her face in my chest and this time I hugged back. I buried my face in her hair and it smelled great. What had happened? What was she thinking? I found myself not caring as long as she wanted me like I wanted her.

"I…I…I miss you." She said finally breathing into my chest. "I've missed you. And I can't do this shit anymore. It's fucking me up. I just can't do it Rob. I can't! I can't pretend or deny it anymore." she said removing her face from my chest. She looked at me with her watery green eyes. "Please…don't ask me to go away. I want to stay with you. I want you and I don't care right now if that's wrong. Can I stay? Please…" she really didn't have to ask. I kissed her passionately, letting her know my answer.

She moved her hands to my chest and grabbed on to my button shirt and pulled me closer, tight to her body. She then grabbed my face with her hands and kissed me on the lips, this time not so gently. I kissed her back as I wrapped my arms around her waist. I could taste her tears. I kissed her lips and her cheeks and then I kissed her neck. I sucked on it a little and I heard her moan a little so I kept at it. As I buried my face in her neck and as I kissed her, I felt her arms wrap around neck. She pulled me tighter to her body. I stopped kissing at her neck and kissed her lips again and she kissed me back more urgently than I kissed her. I loved it.

I felt her tongue slip in my mouth and couldn't help it. I felt the heat behind me ears and my breath quickened, but she wouldn't pull away. Not even to let me breathe. I didn't mind. I let her taste my tongue and she moaned again. This wasn't like the kiss we shared before. First, I didn't start this, second we weren't drunk and we were fully aware and finally, she didn't back away. Instead she kissed me back and ran her hands through my hair.

We both needed air as we started to pant. She finally let go of my lips, but she didn't look at my face. Instead she looked down and unzipped my pants. Was this really happening? She undid the buttons on my shirt and took it off. She kissed my neck again and went down with her kisses to my chest. She kissed my chest from left to right and then kissed my lips again. She ran her fingers down by abdomen down into my pants and before she could go any farther, I stopped her. She stopped kissing me and looked at me in shock. She thought that I didn't want this. I smiled and she wrinkled her forehead in confusion. I grabbed her arms and pulled her down to my bed. She laid back and looked up at me. She was breathing heavily and I was as well. I got on the bed slightly over and I slowly ran my hands from her lower thigh up to her zipper. I unzipped her jeans and pulled them of her. She waited patiently.

I kissed her lips deeply and started to remove her shirt and she obliged by lifting herself up a little. Her shirt was out of the way and I kissed her chest and down her breast to her belly. She moaned again. I quickly removed her bra and began kissing her. She placed one of her hands on top of my back and the other in my hair. I lifted myself up from her and again she looked at me in need. I took my pants off and my boxers and I climbed back into the bed. This time she didn't wait. She took me from my neck and kissed me while wrapping her legs around my waist.

I couldn't help myself. Imagine having what you have wanted the most in your entire life in one moment? It was overwhelming. It was like that ridiculous song by Bryan Adams, you know the one. "Please forgive me, if I love you more that I should." That one. So I opened my eyes to check on her. She opened her eyes and looked up at me. I stopped. But only for a brief moment as I looked into her eyes. It was again…overwhelming. There was no sound, except for our heavy breathing. She then smiled gently and I smiled back. I returned my lips to hers and she kissed me feverishly. After a long and deep kiss I removed my lips again and looked at her in the eyes.

"I missed you to." I whispered out of breath and she smiled again. I kissed her again, not removing my lips from her for the rest of the night.