What More Out of the Hat!
I do not own Glee or any of the songs mentioned.
I have just seen the first episode of the second season of Glee and felt inspired to give the gang some new assignments.
A new term, a new year and yet somehow Glee was just as uncool as ever. Santana didn't mind so much, she may be lower down in the pecking order in the Cheerios thanks to her summer surgery but she was still the hottest thing in Glee. The new guy, Sam, definitely added to the group's pretty boy quota. No, the new term in Glee was going well, one week in and there was no sign of a lame assignment from Mr Shue.
…
Arm in arm with her best friend Brittany, Santana walked confidently into the choir room. Mr Shue's face when she entered soon shattered her good mood; he looked under pressure and a little serious. Santana knew that budgets were an issue this year; Coach Sylvester's rants on the subject for the last four Cheerio's practises had certainly made the point. Had Glee been cut? Santana took a seat beside Brittany on the back row in the rather subdued choir room and waited for the announcement. Even Brittany had picked up the vibe and was looking a little worried.
"Guys," began Mr Shue, "As you know it has been a struggle to get Glee club up and running this year. Principal Figgins was not supportive and is continuing threaten the remainder of our budget. I think we need to do something to get him on our side."
Mr Shue's look changed slightly to a more eager expression and Santana could feel a new assignment was on its way.
" Now I happen to know" he continued, "That Principal Figgins is a huge fan of 'THE' greatest recording artist of all time. If we perform a few of his songs for the new term assembly we are guaranteed to gain his support!"
"Finally!" cried Mike leaping up from his seat, "Finally we are going to do justice to Michael Jackson!"
Mercedes, Finn, Kurt, Tina and Brittany all leaped up to join him sharing high fives.
"Actually," interrupted Mr Shue, "The artist in question is Mr Elvis Presley."
"What?" exclaimed Kurt. "He is like a dinosaur of music!"
"How can you say that he was 'the King'." exclaimed Artie. For the first time Santana noticed that some of the glee-clubbers looked excited by the assignment, god those guys were lame.
"Come on guys." interrupted Mr Shue, "Settle down. Elvis is cool."
Santana rolled her eyes.
"Was cool…," she said, "… like maybe a hundred years ago."
"I like Elvis." said Brittany, breaking the mood "He sang about being a Teddy Bear."
This statement was followed by a bewildered silence.
"We never do Michael." said Mike sadly, sitting back down on his chair.
Mr Shue took a moment, examining his hands as he thought through the group's protests. Santana narrowed her eyes, what was he planning now?
"Guys, we need Principal Figgins support if we're going to make it through this year. But I know many of you want to do some Michael Jackson, and I guess it would be nice to pay some sort of tribute to him. What do you say we combine to two, bring together the gods of rock and pop."
"Not another mash-up." groaned Santana, then she froze when she realised she had spoken out loud.
"No." said Mr Shue, "This time I think we should try something a little different. This time we are going to have a battle!"
…
Mr Shue had the Glee club divide into to two camps and then pick three songs by their chosen artist, a ballad, a dance number, and a show stopper. Santana chose the Michael Jackson camp but was sad to see Brittany pick the Elvis camp. Her best friend obviously really liked that Teddy Bear song.
So Santana was sat in the rehearsal room with Mike, Tina, Mercedes, Kurt and Finn. They had been talking about Michael Jackson songs for over half an hour but weren't really getting anywhere. Santana had taken a back seat. She wasn't supposed to care about these glee assignments. So she sat quietly filing her nails and wondering how Brittany was getting on in the Elvis camp.
"Maybe we should just start at the beginning?" suggested Tina, after another five minutes of argument, "Michael Jackson didn't do that many Ballads?"
"What was the one they kept playing on the radio after he died. The one he sang when he was a kid?" asked Finn.
"Yeah. The… You've got a friend in me… song" said Mercedes, singing the last line of the chorus
"Ben." said Santana, "The song is called Ben and it's a love song to a rat!"
Santana was getting annoyed now, this was taking forever and they hadn't picked a single song. Cheerios practice started in twenty minutes. She did not want to get any further into Coach Sylvester's bad books, she was bottom of the pyramid already - that was bad enough. Santana had no choice but to speak up.
"Can I make a few suggestions…".
…
Santana made it to the rapidly emptying Cheerio's locker room with two minutes to spare. The group had embraced her song choices and she left them to the organising of the music while she raced to practice. She found Brittany sat by their lockers looking rather depressed.
"Is the Elvis camp not going so well." She asked.
"Not really." said Brittany sadly, and Santana gave her a hug.
"Are they not doing the Teddy Bear song?" she asked, quickly realising the problem.
"No they are not." said Brittany, burying her head in her friends shoulder. "They never take me seriously. We could have worn teddy bear costumes and everything. It would have been fabulous!"
"There, there." said Santana patting the blonde on the back, as she struggled to keep a straight face, sometime her BFF even baffled her.
After a moment Santana glanced at her watch, it was one minute passed. They were now officially late; the coach was going to kill her, but, hell, Brittany was worth it.
…
Friday came and Santana was glad the week was over. She wasn't sure what ached more, her stomach muscled from all the crutches coach had given her after she was late or her legs from all the dance practise. Mike, Tina and herself were taking on the bulk of the choreography and there was a lot of it. Now was the moment of truth, Kurt had put together some very clever costumes for all of them, the jazz band were warming up and the sports hall was almost full – soon it would be time for battle, each group taking it in turns to out sing the other. Despite herself, Santana was finding it rather exciting.
Rachel and Finn came forward from each respective group for the coin toss to see who was going first. Finn won the toss and asked for the Elvis camp to go first. Rachel took to the microphone and began to sing, "In the Ghetto." The rest of the group joined in with some wonderful harmonies, it was a great song, and this battle was going to be tougher than Santana first thought. Principal Figgins looked delighted, so that part of Mr Shue's plan was working in any case. The applause from the auditorium was rather muted when they were done, apart from Mr Figgin's standing ovation.
Mercedes and Finn took to the stage next for the Michael Jackson camp and began to sing a duet of "You Are Not Alone." The rest of the group acted as the backing choir, swaying in the background and joining in the chorus. The applause from the audience was more enthusiastic, but only slightly.
The Elvis's were back next Puck took to the front of the stage, wiggled his hips just like 'The King' before bursting into 'A Little Less Conversation." Only the girls took to the stage with him, Rachel, Quinn and Brittany, singing the back up. Pucks dancing was very energetic and soon the whole of the auditorium was on its feet, clapping and swaying along.
"They're good" Kurt whispered to Santana as they lined up for the next number.
"Then we will just have to be better." She replied. When the number was finished there was much cheering and a few girls screams from the audience. Now it was Michael's turn to fight back.
The familiar bass-line sounded for the intro and Santana and Tina followed Kurt on stage for their, "Smooth Criminal" number. Kurt sang the lead while Finn and Mercedes harmonised. Mike, in a white suit and hat, took on Michael Jackson's actual dance moves while Santana and Tina danced with him. They had copied most of their moves from the pop video. The crowd went wild when Mike moonwalked across the stage. They too got a standing ovation.
Next up – Elvis. Artie wheeled himself to the front of the stage, he was dressed in a tasselled jumpsuit; the girls once again taking their place at the back as backing singers, which must have really annoyed Rachel. He began to sing, "Suspicious Minds". Sam came out next in an equally outlandish jumpsuit to sing the next verse. Then finally Puck came out in a jumpsuit with more studs and tassels than the other two combined. They took it in turns to sing the different lines, each trying to out Elvis the other. It was a very good number, and fun to watch, but Santana was relived to see that it wasn't anywhere near as good as the number they had for the finale.
With the costume change and a last minute make up check they were ready for their big number – "Thriller". Dressed in their zombie rags, the group shuffled like the living dead around the stage, while Kurt, doing a Vincent Price impression, did the dialogue before the number. Then the music started and the group formed up behind Santana as she began to sing. They danced in zombie formation and the crowd went wild. The solid week of dance practice had definitely paid off. On the last note the group as one collapsed to the floor as if dead. Santana was totally exhausted when the number was over and was in no hurry to get back up. The other glee-clubbers crowded round them and helped them to their feet as the applause from the auditorium showed no signs of stopping. There was no doubt about it as cool as Elvis was, Michael Jackson had definitely won.
…
The battle had been a success and Santana was enjoying a much needed shower in the Cheerio's locker room before changing back into her Cheerios uniform. Brittany came in and took the stall beside her.
"That was fun." said Santana, "We should do more battles."
"Yeah. Only maybe not so scary next time." Said Brittany
Brittany had been a little unnerved by the Zombie costumes and when they had collapsed at the end of the number she really did think they had died and got quite upset. Santana and Miss Pilsbury had to talk to her for twenty minutes before she calmed down.
"I'm sorry about that." said Santana with a cheeky smile, "But I know a way to make it up to you."
Seconds later two voices could be heard echoing round the cheerio locker room,
"Oh let me be your Teddy Bear.
Wrap your arms around my neck and lead me anywhere…"
One down… two to go.