It's a Blood Thang
NOTES: Angel has got his soul back. It's after Angel got poisoned and Buffy let him feed from her. The Mayor decided it would be too much trouble conquering Sunnydale so now he's moved to the Bahamas. They're still in high school.
SUMMARY: When Angel becomes even more jealous of Xander, what will be the consequences?
PAIRING: Willow/Oz, Buffy/Angel, Buffy/Xander
RATING: PG-13 as I can't be bothered thinking of another one.
DISCLAIMER: Wasn't me, I didn't do nuffink. I wrote this, spent ages slaving over a hot computer and for what? A law suit! Please don't sue, as there is no reason to. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
Dedicated to Anna as she is sitting here whining about me not dedicating this fic to her. Ha!
***********
Buffy smiled at her friend, Xander Harris. He was talking and joking with her, anything to take her mind off of her midnight patrol. She often wondered why he did this, but every time she asked him he avoided the subject. She hoped it was for the reason she expected. She hoped he loved her. After all, she had recently started having feelings for him that she couldn't explain, feelings that she didn't even have when she was around Angel. But she couldn't break up with Angel, he needed her.
Xander was walking her home. She didn't know why. She was the Slayer, after all. But he had insisted, and she decided to let him. She wasn't in the mood for arguments. She'd had enough of them with Angel. Angel had been acting strange recently. He had been bitter and acted with raging jealousy whenever she mentioned Xander. Caught up in her thoughts, she suddenly stopped when she realised Xander was no longer with her.
She turned to see where he was. He was standing quite far behind her, outside her house, and she had just carried on walking down the street. She went to her front door and put the key in the lock. After opening the door, she turned to face Xander and smiled. "You know, it should really be the Slayer who walks the Slayerette home."
Xander smiled "The guy should walk the gal home."
"Gal? What have you been watching?"
"Lot's of things, li'l lady."
Buffy grinned at him. "You just come back now, d'ya hear?"
"I certainly do, Slayer."
With that, he turned and walked down the path as Buffy closed the door.
*******************
Xander was halfway to his house when he heard a growl. A vampire. He spun around, stake in hand. "Oh Deadboy, it's only you. I thought it was someone else unimportant."
Angel just smiled in a way that made Xander's blood run cold.
The stake clattered on the ground as its owner lost the ability to hold it.
************************************
Angel stared at the body on the floor. Xander was near death. "Oh my God, what have I done."
He knelt down and quickly ripped some of the skin from his wrist and watched as a trickle of blood ran down his arm. He held his wrist to Xander's mouth and cried tears of blood as the boy weakly drank while on the verge of unconsciousness. What have I done...
***************
Angel put the Orb of Thesula down on the table and looked down at the boy. He was going to rise soon, hopefully with a soul. He didn't know what he was going to say to Xander. "I just saw you with Buffy and got jealous of the way she was looking at you. I know I could have talked to her about it, but I wasn't thinking straight."
Angel snapped out of it when he noticed that Xander was looking at him strangely. "Erm, Xander... hi."
************
Buffy paced the library. Giles looked up from his book. "Will you please stop that annoyance?"
Willow looked up from the computer. "Yeah Buffy, some of us are trying to research."
"He was fine last night when he walked me home..."
"HE walked YOU home?"
"I didn't want him to, but he was real insistent about it."
"I can't find anything that applies to yesterday. It seems that it was a normal day."
Buffy stopped pacing and glared at him. "It wasn't normal! Xander got taken, or injured, or ki..."
She stopped herself and tried to calm down. She resumed pacing. Giles opened his mouth to say something, but Buffy waved a hand at him. "Say a word and it will be the last one you speak."
*************************
Xander stared at the mirror and felt empty when it showed no evidence of his existence. "It's like I'm not here," he whispered sadly.
Angel put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."
Xander whirled around, knocking Angel backwards. "Sorry! SORRY! How dare you even try and apologise. I am a vampire! I can't look in the mirror, I can't go in the sun, I can't even wear any of my chains `cos they have crosses on! And you just stand there and say sorry!"
Angel couldn't think of anything else to say to Xander, so he held a packet of blood out to him. "Drink it. You'll need your strength."
Xander shook his head with a disgusted look on his face. "I ain't drinking that, it's blood."
Angel sighed. "You're a vampire, remember?"
"Yeah, thanks to you. Why'd you do that anyway?"
"I had my reasons."
"Care to share? `Cos last time me and Buffy talked, you had a soul."
"You talk about me?"
"Yeah, I slag you off and Buffy defends you. I hope she stops jumping to your defence after she finds out what you've done."
"You're going to tell her?"
"No... you are."
Angel cringed at the thought of Buffy's rage then nodded. "Okay. But drink this first."
Xander shook his head. "No. It's blood."
"Gotta love your observation skills."
Xander folded his arms. "Just because I'm a vampire, doesn't mean I have to act like one."
Angel growled in frustration. "Look, vampires have to drink blood. It's what keeps them alive... I mean undead. If I didn't have to, I wouldn't."
Xander growled at him. "Are you sure about that? You're talking to your last victim here. But like I said, I am not drinking that."
"Then you'll starve. You'll look like a walking skeleton and you'll just shrivel up. You'll get so weak that you won't be able to move, then one day, your head will just fall off."
"Cool!"
"I don't think you'll be saying that when you can't move. And don't forget the demon in you."
"What about it?"
"The weaker you get, the more difficult it will be to ignore the cravings. One day, you won't be able to take it and the person nearest to you will get a neckful."
"Why are you saying this? What does it matter to you whether I drink it or not? You don't give a crap about me, that's why you bit me! Why should I drink blood because you can't handle your cravings?"
Angel frowned at him in confusion. The craving should be tearing him apart by now. Maybe I should have let him drink before I gave him his soul. Giles would probably know what to do. But I can't take him with me... "Xander, I'm going to get the others okay?" Angel left.
Xander didn't reply. He was staring at the mirror. I'm not here...
****************
Everybody in the library looked up when Angel burst in. Even Oz, who had recently joined the research parade, was close to jumping when the doors slammed. Buffy jumped up and wrapped her arms around him. When Angel tensed up, she pulled away. "What's wrong?"
Angel stared at the floor. He had rehearsed this on the way over, but it seemed that his brain had surrendered to nerves. "I did something terrible." It was just above a whisper.
Oz stood up. "I can smell Xander's blood on him."
Buffy backed away from Angel with fear in her eyes. "Tell me you found him after an attack but he's okay." Her fear also showed in her voice. "Tell me you didn't hurt him."
A tear fell down Angel's face. "Hear me out. Before you say anything, you need to know it all."
Angel told his story. When he had finished, Willow was crying and Oz was glaring daggers his way. Giles had somehow got a stake in his hand during the tale. Angel turned to Buffy. "Buffy, I..."
She punched him in the jaw, knocking him down. She started to kick him mercilessly. "He. Was. The. Best. One. Of. Us. You. BASTARD!" She screamed in between kicks.
Oz pulled her back. He hadn't particularly wanted to, but it didn't seem like anybody else was going to do it. Buffy collapsed on him sobbing. Giles took her from Oz so that the boy could continue comforting Willow. "Where is Xander, Angel?" Said the Watcher, no emotion in his voice.
Angel struggled to stand as a result of Buffy's fury. "He's at the mansion."
Willow looked up at him. "How is he, Angel?"
Angel sighed. "Physically, fine."
Buffy wiped her eyes and looked at him with nothing but hatred. "And mentally?"
Angel shook his head. "Not good. He won't drink blood and I don't think he's handling this well."
Buffy jumped up, but Giles stopped her from hitting Angel again. "Of course he's not handling this well! You killed him! How's he meant to handle it? Huh?"
Giles held her against him as she burst into tears again. "We should go and see him."
Everybody nodded and left for the mansion.
*************************************
Everybody walked quietly into the mansion, absorbed in their own thoughts. Giles had said that it was likely to be Xander's soul that made him not want to drink blood. Angel had drank blood before he had regained his soul, that's why he still craved it now. Sooner or later though, Xander's demon would break through and he would need to drink blood. This had driven the point home to them - Xander was a vampire and he would never be the same person again.
Everyone stopped and gaped at the scene around them with horror. Anything reflective - mirrors, glass surfaces, and even some metal weaponry - had been smashed, scratched and shattered.
"Xander?" Willow ventured, stepping forward.
Buffy grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Willow, I'm the Slayer, I'll go." She fought the tears. "He might be dangerous."
Angel looked at her. She wasn't coping with this well either. "Do you need any back-up?"
Buffy looked at him like he had made an obscene gesture. "If I need any back-up, I'll call Giles. What I do need... IS FOR YOU TO STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"
"Buff?" They all turned towards the closed door that the voice had come from.
Buffy went in, closing the door gently behind her. "Xand?"
"Yeah?"
She turned. He was sitting in the corner of the room, and he did not look well at all. "Hey Xand, what's up?"
He looked up at her sadly. "Being a vamp really sucks." He paused to think about that. "Well no actually, I don't suck, `cos blood is disgusting."
Buffy sat down next to him and hugged him. "I am so, so sorry. I should have staked him as soon as he came back from hell."
"Maybe this is hell," Xander mumbled miserably, "no sun, no crosses, no food, no reflection..."
Buffy looked him in the eye. "Don't talk like that. Hmm, no reflection. Is that why you broke all the reflective stuff?"
Xander looked up at her sadly. "I didn't mean to. It was just `cos they were everywhere, but they didn't even show I existed. As if they were laughing at me saying, `ha, ha. Xander's invisible, ha, ha.'"
Buffy raised her eyebrows at this. I do not think he is coping well with this.
Xander sank further into her arms, savouring the comfort. "What did Angel tell you?"
Buffy hugged him tighter. "He told us the whole story."
Xander looked up at her eagerly. "Even why he did it?"
Buffy was about to reply with the positive, when she realised that no, Angel hadn't told them why he had done it. She frowned at this. "No, he didn't tell us that. Why did he do it, Xand?"
Xander shrugged. "He never told me neither. That's why I thought he might have said something to you. I mean, I'm not that much of a pain in the ass, am I?"
Buffy placed a reassuring kiss on his forehead. "No Xand, you're not. You're less annoying than Angel most of the time. Hey, maybe he was afraid of the competition!"
Xander smiled for the first time since Buffy had entered the room. "I don't think so somehow. Otherwise Cordelia would be long gone."
Buffy smiled at the direct insult to his ex-girlfriend. Then she gently pushed him off of her and stood up. "I'm going to go and ask Angel why he did this. I'm going to get some answers from him whether he likes it or not."
With that, she left Xander in the darkened room.
*********
The Scoobies were waiting outside for Buffy to return. All of them were purposely ignoring Angel. Buffy walked out of the room and went straight to Angel. "Why did you do it? You haven't told anyone yet. Even Xander's clueless as to why you put the bite on him. She turned to face the others. "I know we've looked before, but is there any cure to vampirism that we may have overlooked?"
Giles looked sheepishly at the floor. "Um, we will look..."
Buffy sighed. "I know, I know, `but we would have found a cure by now,' right?"
Giles shook his head. "When I was asked to search for a cure for Angel, I was not very enthusiastic with my research as I saw it as rather a waste of time."
Angel glared at him. "Oh, I get it. I'm a waste of time but Xander isn't?"
"Yes." The quiet word from Willow shut Angel up faster than any amount of shouting would. "He's better than you'll ever be. At everything. So get lost before someone has too much of your ego and shoves a stake up your ass."
Angel stared at her. "But it's my house!"
"And?"
Giles turned to him. "Angel, go to my house. The door's unlocked. You may stay there a while. We can bring some blood to you from here."
Angel nodded in silent agreement and went out the door. Buffy ran after him. "You still haven't said why you bit him yet!"
Giles sighed. "I'm going to go and research at the library. Will you two stay with Xander?"
Oz began to nod, but Willow shook her head. "Oz, you can go research with Giles. I'm gonna stay here to try and do the best friend thing for Xander."
Giles took a deep breath. "Willow, are you sure? He could get dangerous."
Willow put her hand out to stop him. "Giles, I trust him. I know you do as well, so don't worry about me. I'll phone every hour to let you know I'm safe."
Giles nodded. Oz hugged her. "Be careful," he whispered in her ear.
"I will," she said back.
*********
Xander sat in the room and stared at a fragment of shattered mirror he had found. I'm still not here...
Willow quietly opened the door and walked in, a packet of blood in her hand. She knelt down next to Xander and put an arm around him. He turned to look at her, and saw the blood. "No," he stated firmly and turned away.
Willow put a hand on his cheek and pulled him so that he faced her. "Please," she begged, "you have to drink this. If you're not doing it for yourself, then do it for me. I'm your best friend. I know what's good for you. Remember when you dropped one of your toy soldiers in the plug socket?" Xander nodded. "Well who reminded you to turn off the switch before sticking your fingers in?"
Xander sighed miserably. "You did."
"That's because you're my best friend and I think I should look after you the same way you look after me whenever something bad happens."
Xander tried hard not to cry. "But it's blood!"
Willow gently ran her fingers through his hair. "Sssh, I know. I also know that you don't want to drink it because you want so badly to be good. It wouldn't have been a problem to make you drink blood if we hadn't gotten your soul back first, did you know that?"
Xander shook his head. "No, I didn't know that."
"The thing is, Xander, it's natural for you to drink blood now. It's what you have to do. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's just like people who eat meat, you know? You're not evil as long as you don't hurt people. So drink this please, for the sake of your friends."
Xander sniffed back tears and looked up at Willow, smiling gently. "You'd make a great President, you know. You're brilliant at guilt-tripping me into doing things." He reached out and took the packet from her hand. He tore the top from it and began to drink from it.
Willow saw the dislike on his face as he did it. After he had finished, she took it from him. "Well?"
Xander looked at her and pouted with the extra impact of his puppy-dog eyes. "Please don't make me live on that crap."
Willow leant over and hugged him tightly. After they broke off the embrace, Xander stood up suddenly. "I just need to go to the bathroom, I'll be back in a minute."
Willow nodded knowingly and looked around her as he left her alone in the room. There was something bothering her, put she couldn't quite figure out what it was. The thought kept nagging at her brain to pay attention... then it hit her. Vampires didn't need to go to the bathroom!
Willow jumped to her feet and stormed into the blue, tiled room. Xander was kneeling over the toilet, throwing up everything in his system. Unfortunately, all there was in his system was blood. Willow managed to stop the tears from falling as she sat down next to him and gently rubbed his back. "It's okay, it'll be okay."
After Xander had finished throwing up, he leant on Willow for support. She pushed him off and he fell face first on the floor. He looked up at her confused. "What...?"
Willow glared at him. "You said you'd drink it. For me, you said. But you lied to me, Xander. I'm here, trying to do what's best for you, but you won't let me. You don't even think enough of me to do what I ask. Don't you think I'm telling you the truth? I wouldn't lie to you. If I say you need something, it's because you need it." Willow paused for breath. "But fine, have it your way. See if I care."
Willow stood up and stormed out of the mansion without even looking back to her friend. Xander just about managed to stop himself from crying. He stood up and walked into the front room. Xander decided to do what he had been considering from the second he had risen.
************************************
Buffy walked back towards the mansion, struggling to come to terms with what Angel had told her.
"I just saw how much he meant to you and how much you loved him. I knew I couldn't compete, which is why I did what I did. I'm not trying to justify it, just attempting, and failing, to give you some piece of mind."
Was it true? Did she really love Xander? She saw Willow march straight past her. Buffy called after her, but Willow just ignored her. What's up with her? Buffy made a mental note to ask Xander when she got to the mansion.
But she completely forgot the psychological post-it when she walked into the front room of the magnificent mansion. That was because she saw Xander. He was holding a stake in the position to thrust it through his own heart. "XANDER, NO!"
Using speed that only a Slayer would have, she ran forward and dived, knocking Xander to the floor and forcing the stake to roll out of his hands and under the glass table. She pulled him so that he was sitting upright and held him tightly. "What the hell were you thinking? I wouldn't be able to cope without you."
Xander began sobbing uncontrollably. "I hate being a vampire. I really, really hate it!"
Buffy sighed and clutched him to her. "Ssh, it'll be alright. We'll find an answer, I swear."
Xander pushed her away roughly and crawled across the floor. "No! Stay away from me! I'll just make you mad at me like I made Willow mad at me!"
Buffy ran over to him and knelt down close to his tear-streaked face. "Why is she mad at you?"
Xander continued to cry. "Because I'm a vampire but I won't drink blood." He pulled his knees up to his chin and gently started rocking backwards and forwards. "I tried Buffy, I really tried. But it wouldn't stay down."
Buffy pulled him close to her again. "It made you sick?"
Xander had stopped crying. He sniffed. "Yeah."
Buffy frowned in confusion. That's not right, there's more to this than meets the eye. She looked down at Xander who was calm now, in her embrace. He looks so lost and helpless. Buffy tilted Xander's head up and kissed him slowly and passionately. After the kiss had ended, Xander chuckled quietly to himself, but Buffy heard. "What?"
"Oh nothing. I just realised that I was right."
"About what?"
"A guy does have to be dead to make time with you."
Buffy's thoughts drifted back to that day when Xander had offered her his heart. She had turned him down. What was I thinking? Xander had snuggled up to her again and Buffy kissed the top of his head gently. "I'm gonna help you through this, okay Xand? I'm not going to push you into anything if you don't want me to."
Xander leaned up and looked her in the eye. His eyes, which usually sparkled with life, were now dark and dull. But the sparkle made a special appearance every now and again. Now was not one of those times. "But Willow's mad..."
Buffy cut him off by placing a finger on his lips and then kissing them softly. "She's just worried, Xand. She'll get over it."
Xander nodded in acceptance and let himself drift off to sleep with Buffy's arms wrapped around him.
********************
Giles, Oz and Willow were frantically searching through books, occasionally pausing to glare at Angel. Angel had not helped at all with the research and he was just brooding in the corner of Giles' living room. After three hours of mind numbing studying about previous souled-vampires, the only one they had come across was Angel. Giles was soon fed-up. "Angel!"
The vampire turned to look at him. "Why aren't you helping? Surely you don't hate Xander this much!"
The vampire with a soul climbed to his feet and ran a hand through his dark hair. "It's not a case of hating Xander, it's a case of loving Buffy." From their confused looks, Angel realised he needed to explain. "I have read quite a lot in just over two-hundred years. One was a book of myths about souled vampires. Many of these dealt with vampires who had regained their soul before ever feeding on blood." He paused. "It was said that they would have to feed on a Slayer to get back their human status."
Everyone was silent for a moment. Giles stood up. "I guess I'll phone Buffy and tell her."
Angel grabbed his arm fiercely. "Are you insane?!?"
Giles whirled on Angel. "Are you? That boy was young and had everything going for him. Now you know as well as I do that Buffy will do whatever it takes to get him back. She did it for you when you were poisoned and you are nothing but a brooding murderous bastard!"
When Angel could think of no reply, Giles went over to the phone.
*************************
The phone was ringing. Buffy carefully pushed Xander down on the bed and went to answer it. "Hello? Oh, hi Giles. Have you found anything?" A pause. "Really? Oh, that's great! How?" Buffy's face fell as Giles explained the only possible solution to their problem. "I'll do it. No, I know. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Giles! Calm down okay? Give it an hour and if you don't hear from me or Xander, then head down here."
Buffy calmly put down the phone and walked into the bedroom where Xander lay asleep on the bed. She sat down next to him. He had no heartbeat or breath. Buffy ran her fingers through his hair and Xander smiled in his sleep. I can do this... again. But this time it would be different. She would have to try even harder to get Xander to bite her. And she loved Xander more than Angel. "Xander?" She said it quietly, not wanting him fully awake.
"Hmm?" Xander opened his eyes and yawned sleepily. Buffy had never seen a vampire yawn before. Old habits die hard, I guess.
She gently ran a hand through his hair and kissed him on the forehead. She leant down. "Do you want to know what my blood tastes like?" She was speaking slowly and softly so as not to alarm Xander.
Xander looked confused and unsure. "Maybe a little, I suppose. Why?"
Buffy continued stroking his dark hair. "I want you to bite me Xander, it's the only cure."
Xander was fully awake immediately and he shook his head. "No, I won't hurt you. I'd rather be a vampire."
Buffy's heart almost stopped as he said that. This man would rather die than intentionally harm her. "Xander, you only have to take a little bit."
Xander's eyes widened. "I won't be able to, Buffy! Once I start drinking, the demon will take control, and I won't be able to stop!"
Buffy cupped his face with her hand. "You will. You're Xander and I love you."
Xander stared at her. "Really?" He said in a weak and timid voice.
Buffy smiled and nodded. "Really."
Xander looked doubtful. "I still don't know if I can bring myself to sink my fangs into you."
Buffy sighed, and then smiled as an idea came to mind. "If you were human with a permanent soul, you know what we could do, you and I?"
Xander struggled to cope with what was happening. Buffy was offering herself to him, but he couldn't do it. How much does that suck? Xander groaned inwardly at his accidental pun. Then he realised how close Buffy's neck was to his mouth. His demon was going wild. Xander tried not to lick his lips when her pulse quickened.
Buffy had noticed how tempting it was for Xander to bite her. She started pushing herself closer and pressing herself against him. She was also running her hands up and down his body so that Xander would find it difficult to focus. "Buffy, stop it."
Buffy locked their lips together in a deep and passionate kiss. Xander pulled away in game face. Buffy wasted no time and tugged his hair so that his mouth was on her neck. She felt him hesitate and held him tighter. She made no sound as Xander began to drink from the wound he had made.
********************************************
Angel slammed the door to Giles' home and began running in the direction of the mansion. I won't let him hurt her like I did.
**************
Buffy held Xander as he shivered. I hope he had enough of my blood. Xander had taken no more than a few sips of Buffy before he had pulled away. Xander loved me enough to conquer his inner demon, even Angel couldn't do that. Buffy looked down at Xander's trembling form and clutched him tighter. This had better be a good sign.
Suddenly, there was a loud slamming noise from the direction of the front door. Despite the fact that Buffy was an idiot, she kind of guessed that it was the front door slamming open. "Buffy!" Came Angel's voice.
Angel came running into the bedroom where Buffy was cuddling Xander. "He didn't bite you?" Angel was confused.
Buffy raised her eyebrows then turned her head to reveal two small puncture wounds in her neck. "He did bite me Angel, but he managed to pull away, unlike someone."
Angel winced at the accusing tone of her voice. "I tried to, but you tasted so sweet..."
"Save it. Oh, and get out. Tell Giles that I think Xander might be on the mend. He's all shivery."
Angel nodded and walked out of the apartment. He broke into a run, realising that the sun would be up soon.
Buffy hoped that Angel would deliver the message. Xander began to stir. "Buffy?"
She leant down to pull up his face when she felt his pulse. She gasped. Xander frowned at her in fright. "What? What is it?"
"Xand, you have a pulse!"
Xander gave a broad smile. "Yay! And it's all thanks to my favourite Slayer."
Buffy leant in and kissed him. Xander kissed back and began unbuttoning her blouse.
***************
Giles held up a book to Angel. "Is this the book you saw the cure in?"
Angel nodded. "Yeah, why do you ask?"
Giles began flicking through the pages. "I'm just checking that there won't be any... Oh God."
Angel jumped up, a wary look on his face. "What is it?"
Giles grabbed his arm and rushed him out of the door. "We need to get to the mansion."
**********
The mansion doors flew open as Angel and Giles ran in. "Buffy? Xander?"
Giles looked through the doorway of one of the bedrooms and stopped in his tracks. "No..." He mumbled under his breath.
Buffy just smiled at him with her fangs as she ran her fingers through Xander's hair. Xander was facing the ceiling, but his eyes were glazed over, unseeing. "Oh don't worry Giles, he'll be up and about by tomorrow night. You, on the other hand, are only good enough to eat."
By the time Angel had realised what was going on, Giles was dead. As he turned to lay Buffy out, he had the strangest sensation in his chest. Buffy smiled at him. "Isn't it amazing what a little piece of wood can do," she said, as Angel exploded into dust.
What goes around comes around. I guess it must be a blood thang.
THE END
NOTES: Angel has got his soul back. It's after Angel got poisoned and Buffy let him feed from her. The Mayor decided it would be too much trouble conquering Sunnydale so now he's moved to the Bahamas. They're still in high school.
SUMMARY: When Angel becomes even more jealous of Xander, what will be the consequences?
PAIRING: Willow/Oz, Buffy/Angel, Buffy/Xander
RATING: PG-13 as I can't be bothered thinking of another one.
DISCLAIMER: Wasn't me, I didn't do nuffink. I wrote this, spent ages slaving over a hot computer and for what? A law suit! Please don't sue, as there is no reason to. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
Dedicated to Anna as she is sitting here whining about me not dedicating this fic to her. Ha!
***********
Buffy smiled at her friend, Xander Harris. He was talking and joking with her, anything to take her mind off of her midnight patrol. She often wondered why he did this, but every time she asked him he avoided the subject. She hoped it was for the reason she expected. She hoped he loved her. After all, she had recently started having feelings for him that she couldn't explain, feelings that she didn't even have when she was around Angel. But she couldn't break up with Angel, he needed her.
Xander was walking her home. She didn't know why. She was the Slayer, after all. But he had insisted, and she decided to let him. She wasn't in the mood for arguments. She'd had enough of them with Angel. Angel had been acting strange recently. He had been bitter and acted with raging jealousy whenever she mentioned Xander. Caught up in her thoughts, she suddenly stopped when she realised Xander was no longer with her.
She turned to see where he was. He was standing quite far behind her, outside her house, and she had just carried on walking down the street. She went to her front door and put the key in the lock. After opening the door, she turned to face Xander and smiled. "You know, it should really be the Slayer who walks the Slayerette home."
Xander smiled "The guy should walk the gal home."
"Gal? What have you been watching?"
"Lot's of things, li'l lady."
Buffy grinned at him. "You just come back now, d'ya hear?"
"I certainly do, Slayer."
With that, he turned and walked down the path as Buffy closed the door.
*******************
Xander was halfway to his house when he heard a growl. A vampire. He spun around, stake in hand. "Oh Deadboy, it's only you. I thought it was someone else unimportant."
Angel just smiled in a way that made Xander's blood run cold.
The stake clattered on the ground as its owner lost the ability to hold it.
************************************
Angel stared at the body on the floor. Xander was near death. "Oh my God, what have I done."
He knelt down and quickly ripped some of the skin from his wrist and watched as a trickle of blood ran down his arm. He held his wrist to Xander's mouth and cried tears of blood as the boy weakly drank while on the verge of unconsciousness. What have I done...
***************
Angel put the Orb of Thesula down on the table and looked down at the boy. He was going to rise soon, hopefully with a soul. He didn't know what he was going to say to Xander. "I just saw you with Buffy and got jealous of the way she was looking at you. I know I could have talked to her about it, but I wasn't thinking straight."
Angel snapped out of it when he noticed that Xander was looking at him strangely. "Erm, Xander... hi."
************
Buffy paced the library. Giles looked up from his book. "Will you please stop that annoyance?"
Willow looked up from the computer. "Yeah Buffy, some of us are trying to research."
"He was fine last night when he walked me home..."
"HE walked YOU home?"
"I didn't want him to, but he was real insistent about it."
"I can't find anything that applies to yesterday. It seems that it was a normal day."
Buffy stopped pacing and glared at him. "It wasn't normal! Xander got taken, or injured, or ki..."
She stopped herself and tried to calm down. She resumed pacing. Giles opened his mouth to say something, but Buffy waved a hand at him. "Say a word and it will be the last one you speak."
*************************
Xander stared at the mirror and felt empty when it showed no evidence of his existence. "It's like I'm not here," he whispered sadly.
Angel put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."
Xander whirled around, knocking Angel backwards. "Sorry! SORRY! How dare you even try and apologise. I am a vampire! I can't look in the mirror, I can't go in the sun, I can't even wear any of my chains `cos they have crosses on! And you just stand there and say sorry!"
Angel couldn't think of anything else to say to Xander, so he held a packet of blood out to him. "Drink it. You'll need your strength."
Xander shook his head with a disgusted look on his face. "I ain't drinking that, it's blood."
Angel sighed. "You're a vampire, remember?"
"Yeah, thanks to you. Why'd you do that anyway?"
"I had my reasons."
"Care to share? `Cos last time me and Buffy talked, you had a soul."
"You talk about me?"
"Yeah, I slag you off and Buffy defends you. I hope she stops jumping to your defence after she finds out what you've done."
"You're going to tell her?"
"No... you are."
Angel cringed at the thought of Buffy's rage then nodded. "Okay. But drink this first."
Xander shook his head. "No. It's blood."
"Gotta love your observation skills."
Xander folded his arms. "Just because I'm a vampire, doesn't mean I have to act like one."
Angel growled in frustration. "Look, vampires have to drink blood. It's what keeps them alive... I mean undead. If I didn't have to, I wouldn't."
Xander growled at him. "Are you sure about that? You're talking to your last victim here. But like I said, I am not drinking that."
"Then you'll starve. You'll look like a walking skeleton and you'll just shrivel up. You'll get so weak that you won't be able to move, then one day, your head will just fall off."
"Cool!"
"I don't think you'll be saying that when you can't move. And don't forget the demon in you."
"What about it?"
"The weaker you get, the more difficult it will be to ignore the cravings. One day, you won't be able to take it and the person nearest to you will get a neckful."
"Why are you saying this? What does it matter to you whether I drink it or not? You don't give a crap about me, that's why you bit me! Why should I drink blood because you can't handle your cravings?"
Angel frowned at him in confusion. The craving should be tearing him apart by now. Maybe I should have let him drink before I gave him his soul. Giles would probably know what to do. But I can't take him with me... "Xander, I'm going to get the others okay?" Angel left.
Xander didn't reply. He was staring at the mirror. I'm not here...
****************
Everybody in the library looked up when Angel burst in. Even Oz, who had recently joined the research parade, was close to jumping when the doors slammed. Buffy jumped up and wrapped her arms around him. When Angel tensed up, she pulled away. "What's wrong?"
Angel stared at the floor. He had rehearsed this on the way over, but it seemed that his brain had surrendered to nerves. "I did something terrible." It was just above a whisper.
Oz stood up. "I can smell Xander's blood on him."
Buffy backed away from Angel with fear in her eyes. "Tell me you found him after an attack but he's okay." Her fear also showed in her voice. "Tell me you didn't hurt him."
A tear fell down Angel's face. "Hear me out. Before you say anything, you need to know it all."
Angel told his story. When he had finished, Willow was crying and Oz was glaring daggers his way. Giles had somehow got a stake in his hand during the tale. Angel turned to Buffy. "Buffy, I..."
She punched him in the jaw, knocking him down. She started to kick him mercilessly. "He. Was. The. Best. One. Of. Us. You. BASTARD!" She screamed in between kicks.
Oz pulled her back. He hadn't particularly wanted to, but it didn't seem like anybody else was going to do it. Buffy collapsed on him sobbing. Giles took her from Oz so that the boy could continue comforting Willow. "Where is Xander, Angel?" Said the Watcher, no emotion in his voice.
Angel struggled to stand as a result of Buffy's fury. "He's at the mansion."
Willow looked up at him. "How is he, Angel?"
Angel sighed. "Physically, fine."
Buffy wiped her eyes and looked at him with nothing but hatred. "And mentally?"
Angel shook his head. "Not good. He won't drink blood and I don't think he's handling this well."
Buffy jumped up, but Giles stopped her from hitting Angel again. "Of course he's not handling this well! You killed him! How's he meant to handle it? Huh?"
Giles held her against him as she burst into tears again. "We should go and see him."
Everybody nodded and left for the mansion.
*************************************
Everybody walked quietly into the mansion, absorbed in their own thoughts. Giles had said that it was likely to be Xander's soul that made him not want to drink blood. Angel had drank blood before he had regained his soul, that's why he still craved it now. Sooner or later though, Xander's demon would break through and he would need to drink blood. This had driven the point home to them - Xander was a vampire and he would never be the same person again.
Everyone stopped and gaped at the scene around them with horror. Anything reflective - mirrors, glass surfaces, and even some metal weaponry - had been smashed, scratched and shattered.
"Xander?" Willow ventured, stepping forward.
Buffy grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Willow, I'm the Slayer, I'll go." She fought the tears. "He might be dangerous."
Angel looked at her. She wasn't coping with this well either. "Do you need any back-up?"
Buffy looked at him like he had made an obscene gesture. "If I need any back-up, I'll call Giles. What I do need... IS FOR YOU TO STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"
"Buff?" They all turned towards the closed door that the voice had come from.
Buffy went in, closing the door gently behind her. "Xand?"
"Yeah?"
She turned. He was sitting in the corner of the room, and he did not look well at all. "Hey Xand, what's up?"
He looked up at her sadly. "Being a vamp really sucks." He paused to think about that. "Well no actually, I don't suck, `cos blood is disgusting."
Buffy sat down next to him and hugged him. "I am so, so sorry. I should have staked him as soon as he came back from hell."
"Maybe this is hell," Xander mumbled miserably, "no sun, no crosses, no food, no reflection..."
Buffy looked him in the eye. "Don't talk like that. Hmm, no reflection. Is that why you broke all the reflective stuff?"
Xander looked up at her sadly. "I didn't mean to. It was just `cos they were everywhere, but they didn't even show I existed. As if they were laughing at me saying, `ha, ha. Xander's invisible, ha, ha.'"
Buffy raised her eyebrows at this. I do not think he is coping well with this.
Xander sank further into her arms, savouring the comfort. "What did Angel tell you?"
Buffy hugged him tighter. "He told us the whole story."
Xander looked up at her eagerly. "Even why he did it?"
Buffy was about to reply with the positive, when she realised that no, Angel hadn't told them why he had done it. She frowned at this. "No, he didn't tell us that. Why did he do it, Xand?"
Xander shrugged. "He never told me neither. That's why I thought he might have said something to you. I mean, I'm not that much of a pain in the ass, am I?"
Buffy placed a reassuring kiss on his forehead. "No Xand, you're not. You're less annoying than Angel most of the time. Hey, maybe he was afraid of the competition!"
Xander smiled for the first time since Buffy had entered the room. "I don't think so somehow. Otherwise Cordelia would be long gone."
Buffy smiled at the direct insult to his ex-girlfriend. Then she gently pushed him off of her and stood up. "I'm going to go and ask Angel why he did this. I'm going to get some answers from him whether he likes it or not."
With that, she left Xander in the darkened room.
*********
The Scoobies were waiting outside for Buffy to return. All of them were purposely ignoring Angel. Buffy walked out of the room and went straight to Angel. "Why did you do it? You haven't told anyone yet. Even Xander's clueless as to why you put the bite on him. She turned to face the others. "I know we've looked before, but is there any cure to vampirism that we may have overlooked?"
Giles looked sheepishly at the floor. "Um, we will look..."
Buffy sighed. "I know, I know, `but we would have found a cure by now,' right?"
Giles shook his head. "When I was asked to search for a cure for Angel, I was not very enthusiastic with my research as I saw it as rather a waste of time."
Angel glared at him. "Oh, I get it. I'm a waste of time but Xander isn't?"
"Yes." The quiet word from Willow shut Angel up faster than any amount of shouting would. "He's better than you'll ever be. At everything. So get lost before someone has too much of your ego and shoves a stake up your ass."
Angel stared at her. "But it's my house!"
"And?"
Giles turned to him. "Angel, go to my house. The door's unlocked. You may stay there a while. We can bring some blood to you from here."
Angel nodded in silent agreement and went out the door. Buffy ran after him. "You still haven't said why you bit him yet!"
Giles sighed. "I'm going to go and research at the library. Will you two stay with Xander?"
Oz began to nod, but Willow shook her head. "Oz, you can go research with Giles. I'm gonna stay here to try and do the best friend thing for Xander."
Giles took a deep breath. "Willow, are you sure? He could get dangerous."
Willow put her hand out to stop him. "Giles, I trust him. I know you do as well, so don't worry about me. I'll phone every hour to let you know I'm safe."
Giles nodded. Oz hugged her. "Be careful," he whispered in her ear.
"I will," she said back.
*********
Xander sat in the room and stared at a fragment of shattered mirror he had found. I'm still not here...
Willow quietly opened the door and walked in, a packet of blood in her hand. She knelt down next to Xander and put an arm around him. He turned to look at her, and saw the blood. "No," he stated firmly and turned away.
Willow put a hand on his cheek and pulled him so that he faced her. "Please," she begged, "you have to drink this. If you're not doing it for yourself, then do it for me. I'm your best friend. I know what's good for you. Remember when you dropped one of your toy soldiers in the plug socket?" Xander nodded. "Well who reminded you to turn off the switch before sticking your fingers in?"
Xander sighed miserably. "You did."
"That's because you're my best friend and I think I should look after you the same way you look after me whenever something bad happens."
Xander tried hard not to cry. "But it's blood!"
Willow gently ran her fingers through his hair. "Sssh, I know. I also know that you don't want to drink it because you want so badly to be good. It wouldn't have been a problem to make you drink blood if we hadn't gotten your soul back first, did you know that?"
Xander shook his head. "No, I didn't know that."
"The thing is, Xander, it's natural for you to drink blood now. It's what you have to do. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's just like people who eat meat, you know? You're not evil as long as you don't hurt people. So drink this please, for the sake of your friends."
Xander sniffed back tears and looked up at Willow, smiling gently. "You'd make a great President, you know. You're brilliant at guilt-tripping me into doing things." He reached out and took the packet from her hand. He tore the top from it and began to drink from it.
Willow saw the dislike on his face as he did it. After he had finished, she took it from him. "Well?"
Xander looked at her and pouted with the extra impact of his puppy-dog eyes. "Please don't make me live on that crap."
Willow leant over and hugged him tightly. After they broke off the embrace, Xander stood up suddenly. "I just need to go to the bathroom, I'll be back in a minute."
Willow nodded knowingly and looked around her as he left her alone in the room. There was something bothering her, put she couldn't quite figure out what it was. The thought kept nagging at her brain to pay attention... then it hit her. Vampires didn't need to go to the bathroom!
Willow jumped to her feet and stormed into the blue, tiled room. Xander was kneeling over the toilet, throwing up everything in his system. Unfortunately, all there was in his system was blood. Willow managed to stop the tears from falling as she sat down next to him and gently rubbed his back. "It's okay, it'll be okay."
After Xander had finished throwing up, he leant on Willow for support. She pushed him off and he fell face first on the floor. He looked up at her confused. "What...?"
Willow glared at him. "You said you'd drink it. For me, you said. But you lied to me, Xander. I'm here, trying to do what's best for you, but you won't let me. You don't even think enough of me to do what I ask. Don't you think I'm telling you the truth? I wouldn't lie to you. If I say you need something, it's because you need it." Willow paused for breath. "But fine, have it your way. See if I care."
Willow stood up and stormed out of the mansion without even looking back to her friend. Xander just about managed to stop himself from crying. He stood up and walked into the front room. Xander decided to do what he had been considering from the second he had risen.
************************************
Buffy walked back towards the mansion, struggling to come to terms with what Angel had told her.
"I just saw how much he meant to you and how much you loved him. I knew I couldn't compete, which is why I did what I did. I'm not trying to justify it, just attempting, and failing, to give you some piece of mind."
Was it true? Did she really love Xander? She saw Willow march straight past her. Buffy called after her, but Willow just ignored her. What's up with her? Buffy made a mental note to ask Xander when she got to the mansion.
But she completely forgot the psychological post-it when she walked into the front room of the magnificent mansion. That was because she saw Xander. He was holding a stake in the position to thrust it through his own heart. "XANDER, NO!"
Using speed that only a Slayer would have, she ran forward and dived, knocking Xander to the floor and forcing the stake to roll out of his hands and under the glass table. She pulled him so that he was sitting upright and held him tightly. "What the hell were you thinking? I wouldn't be able to cope without you."
Xander began sobbing uncontrollably. "I hate being a vampire. I really, really hate it!"
Buffy sighed and clutched him to her. "Ssh, it'll be alright. We'll find an answer, I swear."
Xander pushed her away roughly and crawled across the floor. "No! Stay away from me! I'll just make you mad at me like I made Willow mad at me!"
Buffy ran over to him and knelt down close to his tear-streaked face. "Why is she mad at you?"
Xander continued to cry. "Because I'm a vampire but I won't drink blood." He pulled his knees up to his chin and gently started rocking backwards and forwards. "I tried Buffy, I really tried. But it wouldn't stay down."
Buffy pulled him close to her again. "It made you sick?"
Xander had stopped crying. He sniffed. "Yeah."
Buffy frowned in confusion. That's not right, there's more to this than meets the eye. She looked down at Xander who was calm now, in her embrace. He looks so lost and helpless. Buffy tilted Xander's head up and kissed him slowly and passionately. After the kiss had ended, Xander chuckled quietly to himself, but Buffy heard. "What?"
"Oh nothing. I just realised that I was right."
"About what?"
"A guy does have to be dead to make time with you."
Buffy's thoughts drifted back to that day when Xander had offered her his heart. She had turned him down. What was I thinking? Xander had snuggled up to her again and Buffy kissed the top of his head gently. "I'm gonna help you through this, okay Xand? I'm not going to push you into anything if you don't want me to."
Xander leaned up and looked her in the eye. His eyes, which usually sparkled with life, were now dark and dull. But the sparkle made a special appearance every now and again. Now was not one of those times. "But Willow's mad..."
Buffy cut him off by placing a finger on his lips and then kissing them softly. "She's just worried, Xand. She'll get over it."
Xander nodded in acceptance and let himself drift off to sleep with Buffy's arms wrapped around him.
********************
Giles, Oz and Willow were frantically searching through books, occasionally pausing to glare at Angel. Angel had not helped at all with the research and he was just brooding in the corner of Giles' living room. After three hours of mind numbing studying about previous souled-vampires, the only one they had come across was Angel. Giles was soon fed-up. "Angel!"
The vampire turned to look at him. "Why aren't you helping? Surely you don't hate Xander this much!"
The vampire with a soul climbed to his feet and ran a hand through his dark hair. "It's not a case of hating Xander, it's a case of loving Buffy." From their confused looks, Angel realised he needed to explain. "I have read quite a lot in just over two-hundred years. One was a book of myths about souled vampires. Many of these dealt with vampires who had regained their soul before ever feeding on blood." He paused. "It was said that they would have to feed on a Slayer to get back their human status."
Everyone was silent for a moment. Giles stood up. "I guess I'll phone Buffy and tell her."
Angel grabbed his arm fiercely. "Are you insane?!?"
Giles whirled on Angel. "Are you? That boy was young and had everything going for him. Now you know as well as I do that Buffy will do whatever it takes to get him back. She did it for you when you were poisoned and you are nothing but a brooding murderous bastard!"
When Angel could think of no reply, Giles went over to the phone.
*************************
The phone was ringing. Buffy carefully pushed Xander down on the bed and went to answer it. "Hello? Oh, hi Giles. Have you found anything?" A pause. "Really? Oh, that's great! How?" Buffy's face fell as Giles explained the only possible solution to their problem. "I'll do it. No, I know. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Giles! Calm down okay? Give it an hour and if you don't hear from me or Xander, then head down here."
Buffy calmly put down the phone and walked into the bedroom where Xander lay asleep on the bed. She sat down next to him. He had no heartbeat or breath. Buffy ran her fingers through his hair and Xander smiled in his sleep. I can do this... again. But this time it would be different. She would have to try even harder to get Xander to bite her. And she loved Xander more than Angel. "Xander?" She said it quietly, not wanting him fully awake.
"Hmm?" Xander opened his eyes and yawned sleepily. Buffy had never seen a vampire yawn before. Old habits die hard, I guess.
She gently ran a hand through his hair and kissed him on the forehead. She leant down. "Do you want to know what my blood tastes like?" She was speaking slowly and softly so as not to alarm Xander.
Xander looked confused and unsure. "Maybe a little, I suppose. Why?"
Buffy continued stroking his dark hair. "I want you to bite me Xander, it's the only cure."
Xander was fully awake immediately and he shook his head. "No, I won't hurt you. I'd rather be a vampire."
Buffy's heart almost stopped as he said that. This man would rather die than intentionally harm her. "Xander, you only have to take a little bit."
Xander's eyes widened. "I won't be able to, Buffy! Once I start drinking, the demon will take control, and I won't be able to stop!"
Buffy cupped his face with her hand. "You will. You're Xander and I love you."
Xander stared at her. "Really?" He said in a weak and timid voice.
Buffy smiled and nodded. "Really."
Xander looked doubtful. "I still don't know if I can bring myself to sink my fangs into you."
Buffy sighed, and then smiled as an idea came to mind. "If you were human with a permanent soul, you know what we could do, you and I?"
Xander struggled to cope with what was happening. Buffy was offering herself to him, but he couldn't do it. How much does that suck? Xander groaned inwardly at his accidental pun. Then he realised how close Buffy's neck was to his mouth. His demon was going wild. Xander tried not to lick his lips when her pulse quickened.
Buffy had noticed how tempting it was for Xander to bite her. She started pushing herself closer and pressing herself against him. She was also running her hands up and down his body so that Xander would find it difficult to focus. "Buffy, stop it."
Buffy locked their lips together in a deep and passionate kiss. Xander pulled away in game face. Buffy wasted no time and tugged his hair so that his mouth was on her neck. She felt him hesitate and held him tighter. She made no sound as Xander began to drink from the wound he had made.
********************************************
Angel slammed the door to Giles' home and began running in the direction of the mansion. I won't let him hurt her like I did.
**************
Buffy held Xander as he shivered. I hope he had enough of my blood. Xander had taken no more than a few sips of Buffy before he had pulled away. Xander loved me enough to conquer his inner demon, even Angel couldn't do that. Buffy looked down at Xander's trembling form and clutched him tighter. This had better be a good sign.
Suddenly, there was a loud slamming noise from the direction of the front door. Despite the fact that Buffy was an idiot, she kind of guessed that it was the front door slamming open. "Buffy!" Came Angel's voice.
Angel came running into the bedroom where Buffy was cuddling Xander. "He didn't bite you?" Angel was confused.
Buffy raised her eyebrows then turned her head to reveal two small puncture wounds in her neck. "He did bite me Angel, but he managed to pull away, unlike someone."
Angel winced at the accusing tone of her voice. "I tried to, but you tasted so sweet..."
"Save it. Oh, and get out. Tell Giles that I think Xander might be on the mend. He's all shivery."
Angel nodded and walked out of the apartment. He broke into a run, realising that the sun would be up soon.
Buffy hoped that Angel would deliver the message. Xander began to stir. "Buffy?"
She leant down to pull up his face when she felt his pulse. She gasped. Xander frowned at her in fright. "What? What is it?"
"Xand, you have a pulse!"
Xander gave a broad smile. "Yay! And it's all thanks to my favourite Slayer."
Buffy leant in and kissed him. Xander kissed back and began unbuttoning her blouse.
***************
Giles held up a book to Angel. "Is this the book you saw the cure in?"
Angel nodded. "Yeah, why do you ask?"
Giles began flicking through the pages. "I'm just checking that there won't be any... Oh God."
Angel jumped up, a wary look on his face. "What is it?"
Giles grabbed his arm and rushed him out of the door. "We need to get to the mansion."
**********
The mansion doors flew open as Angel and Giles ran in. "Buffy? Xander?"
Giles looked through the doorway of one of the bedrooms and stopped in his tracks. "No..." He mumbled under his breath.
Buffy just smiled at him with her fangs as she ran her fingers through Xander's hair. Xander was facing the ceiling, but his eyes were glazed over, unseeing. "Oh don't worry Giles, he'll be up and about by tomorrow night. You, on the other hand, are only good enough to eat."
By the time Angel had realised what was going on, Giles was dead. As he turned to lay Buffy out, he had the strangest sensation in his chest. Buffy smiled at him. "Isn't it amazing what a little piece of wood can do," she said, as Angel exploded into dust.
What goes around comes around. I guess it must be a blood thang.
THE END