AN: Well… another story huh… I had awesome fun writing this, hope y'all enjoy xD

Btw: I don't own Bleach, probably a good thing too…

Once upon a time there was a girl. She had long ranga hair and big boobs. She was eating breakfast.

Once upon the same time there was a man. He had pink hair and glasses. He was eating souls.

Looking at these two people through an objective eye would undoubtedly give you the impression that they were as different as rocks and air. However, some more subjective viewpoints might in fact give you the impression that they were as different as rocks and some other type of rocks. However since neither of these two are even remotely similar to any sort of rock, this information is quite useless. We will move on.

After her allegedly scrumptious breakfast Orihime was wondering what to do for the day. On a whim she decided to go walking. Her feet eventually took her up a mountain path. She stood and looked at the view. It was pretty.

In the blank white halls of Las Noches Szayel was bored. This is not a particularly enjoyable experience for most people, but since Szayel is a mad scientist his boredom is less pleasant for those around him then it is for him. He grabbed a relatively innocent passing by hollow and proceeded to dissect it. Its innards fascinated him. They were smelly and swirly and pink. He liked pink.

Now Orihime had walked a long way. There was no longer any path. She had long ago given up following that in favour of small animal tacks that led through the thick shrubbery. Suddenly the vegetation gave way to a very different sort of landscape. It was the sort of landscape that geologists enjoy. There were boulders and rocks stretched as far as she could see. She walked for a bit longer. The longer she walked, the more the ground she was walking on fascinated her. The rocks beneath her feet seemed to all be of the same type. But closer inspection revealed them to be intricately different in their patterns and varying shades of brown, black and grey. Once she even happened across a yellow rock. She put it in her pocket and walked on.

"Ooh! A pink rock!"

-

-

-

Szayel heard a bright girly voice crack out into the silent air. He had come to the human world to study rocks to see what could be done about Hueco Mundo's awfully lacking colour scheme. He had foolishly not expected there to be humans… Wait… PINK ROCKS!!??

That would give him the perfect excuse to paint all of Hueco Mundo PINK! His plan began to unfold in his head at a furious rate. Mainly because he didn't have any paper to unfold it on.

The pink rock glistened dimly in the sun. Undertones of soft purple and faded red could be seen if the sun bounced at the right angle. It had the appearance of silky softness and rock hard hardness combined with a slight overtone of sheek.

Orihime wondered what sheek was supposed to mean. She decided it had very little to do with rocks.

Slowly the rock stood up.

Suddenly Orihime didn't find it so interesting anymore.

"Hey! You're an arrancar!"

Szayel frowned.

"Correction: I am an Espada."

Orihime shrugged.

"Are you, by any chance, gay?"

"What in heavens gives you that idea?!"

Orihime blinked. She took in the pink hair; obviously hair sprayed into place; the dress-like robe and the feminine stance.

"I have no idea." She replied.

"Well then, why would you even suggest such a thing?!"

Orihime looked out over the edge of the mountain. The pins in her hair caught the light and reflected it into Szayel's eye.

"What was that for!!?"

"Huh?"

Orihime began to realise that the pink headed man was rather insane.

"You shone in my eyes, you betch!"
Szayel was mad.

"Aren't you a bad guy?"
Orihime was very confused.

His hair was beginning to look like a rock again.

"Yes! I am Espada Eight! Szayel Aporro-Grantz! Scientist of Hueco Mundo! Brother of my brother! Future Redecorator of Las Noches! Lover of…-"

"I think that's more then enough information. Orihime interrupted.

"Well… Who are you then? A wench?"

His eyes gleamed curiously behind his glasses.

"No. I'm Orihime Inoue"

…

-

-

"That's it. You're just Orihime Inoue?"

Orihime smiled.

"Yes."

The ranga with big boobs and the gay nerd stared at each other. Then decided to go home.

Le Fin