This is going to be a five chapter story with a follow up that's going to be here when this is done. I've had this in my head for so long that I just had to get it out...I hope you like it. Also, tell me what you think? It's actually pretty hard writing and posting when I don't know what you think about it.
Summary: You don't have to wait for someone to treat you bad repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once, if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future. (Also, I suck at titles...)
I had a mind for work and only work for so long, that I never really distracted myself with love or the likes. That was until I met Bryan.
I'd seen him from time to time in the coffee shop, where I stopped every morning for my shot of caffeine. His dark hair and gray eyes always had me staring at him and I knew that he noticed, because usually, he was staring at me too.
The third time that we'd caught each other staring, he approached me and asked me out for a cup of coffee sometime. I gave him my number, and I felt like I was floating on air.
We went from a cup of coffee to lunch, and to dinner and all in one day. We were infatuated with each other and it didn't take long before we spent more time together than I'd ever spent with someone.
I fell in love, he was the perfect gentleman and exactly what I needed to stop being such a workaholic. Or so I thought.
We were together for six months when my apartment got broken into, and they cleaned the place out. They even took the couch, my bed, my clothes. I couldn't tell when they had broken in because I spent so much time with Bryan at his place that I hadn't been home for at least three weeks.
He offered me a place to stay, at least until I got back on my feet but we both knew that I would move in and wouldn't leave until we split up—if that was ever going to happen. And so he helped me by buying me clothes, and gave me the key to his apartment.
"Now it's ours." He'd said and I was as happy as I could be in a situation like that. I moved in with him, which didn't take long because most of what I had left was at his place, and what wasn't, was at my office.
I didn't have many friends. I never had, because I'd been and still was a workaholic, and he took that to his advantage. He slowly started changing, but I never noticed because he was perfect in my eyes and I trusted him with everything that I had. He took advantage of that too, because when I'd lived with him for a month he'd asked me to combine our bank accounts.
"It'll be easier." He'd said with that charming smile, and I had complied. What's the worst that could happen?
I lay on my side with my head on his chest and my arm sprawled over his stomach casually. But even while cuddling I managed to find a way to stay as far away as possible. My knees pulled up as far as I could, making it so that I covered most of the bed.
"Why are you so far away?" He pushed hard against my lower back with his hand and arm and I gritted my teeth when the searing pain followed. "Come closer."
I stretched my legs and ignored the pain as I scooted closer, and when he could he grabbed my leg and threw it over his.
It was late. If I wanted to be well rested for another day at work with profilers who could see everything, I needed my sleep but I knew it wouldn't happen anytime soon. He wasn't done with me yet.
"Better?"
"I don't like that I have to ask for it," he muttered. I balled my hand in a fist as he pressed his fingers into the bruise on my lower back. "And we still have to talk about what happened earlier."
"I agree." I knew we both had a different scenario in our head about what happened earlier. He would apologize for what happened, I knew that. He'd done it a million times in the past year and every time I forgave him. What choice did I have?
"I'm sorry," he said right on cue. "I just...I get so angry when I see you looking at other men." I hadn't actually looked at another man, not really. "Flirting." I wouldn't dare, because I knew what would happen if I did.
"I know, I'm sorry. It won't happen again." It was the truth, even though in my head it hadn't happened in the first place. Bryan was a jealous person and I had learned to live with that.
"That's what you say every time." He sighed and I closed my eyes. I could say the same for him, but I didn't. "I just wish you would understand...I love you so much."
I swallowed and licked my lips. "I love you too." I had a hard time saying the words, but I knew I was honest. I did love him, and I would do anything to make him happy. But I also knew that he would never be truly happy with anything that I did and he would always find a reason to get angry.
"Good. Why don't you show me?"
I leaned up and slowly moved closer, ready to kiss him. I knew where it would lead to, and I also knew that I had to do everything in my power to make sure it was good enough for him—to show him that I loved him.
There was a sparkle in his eyes before he closed them and when my lips touched his, he moaned and I could feel how he got excited about the prospect of what was going to happen. I lingered, a kiss the only thing that I could initiate at this point.
He took over after a minute, flipping me on my back and kissing me harder and faster. He pressed his hips into mine, and every bruise on my back made itself known.
I would be extremely sore in the morning, but as long as he knew that I loved him, I was alright with that.
Bryan left a note every morning. He would usually leave before I even woke up, having a demanding job that required him to work days of twelve hours.
"I love you. Have a great day and don't forget about dinner."
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and made my way to the bathroom. Like every morning, the first thing that I did was check my body for bruises that would be visible, and like every morning I found none.
Bryan was a smart man. He knew that if he left a bruise somewhere that someone could see, I would be able to say something about it and he would go to jail. But I would never say anything about what happened at home, because that would mean that I had nowhere to go, and I had no money to do anything.
He didn't hit me every day.
I took a quick shower and got dressed, knowing that I had a long day ahead of me. Not only did I have to work a long day, Bryan had invited some of his friends over to dinner and I had to prepare the food, and be the amazing hostess that he considered me to be—everything rode on that and I had to be on top of my game to make him happy.
All I needed to do for that was make sure that dinner was ready when he came home with his friends. And I had already had a perfect plan in my head to make sure that would be doable.
"Hey Spence." I flashed him a smile as the young genius waved at me. Spencer Reid was the youngest of the team but he was also the smartest. At least with numbers, and everything else but human interaction. It wasn't his fault that he didn't know how to talk to people sometimes, or that he didn't see some things hurt people.
"How was your weekend JJ?"
I shrugged despite the pain. "It was fine. How was yours?"
"Reid spent the weekend holed up in his apartment reading, you know that Jayje," Derek Morgan said with a grin as he walked in and gave me a friendly pat on my back. I bit my lip to keep me from making a sound, and then smiled at him.
"Be nice Morgan." Spence smiled shyly and Derek opened his mouth to say something when Emily Prentiss walked into the bullpen. "Hey Em."
"Hey guys," Emily smiled and then sat down at her desk. "So I hear we have a case close by for once," Emily looked at me for confirmation and I rolled my eyes.
"I haven't even gotten the time to check what cases have come in today." I realized though, that if that was what was being said, that Aaron Hotchner had picked out a care or he'd been called in to one by local authorities.
"Hotch?" Emily's voice held most of the question, and I nodded my head.
"I guess."
"You guessed right," Hotch said from behind me. He gestured to the conference room and Derek, Spencer and Emily stood and followed him into into the room. "JJ, you too."
I was surprised when he called me in but I followed. If we had a case close by, maybe I could still be home in time to make dinner.
Once in the conference room, Hotch took over and explained the case to us. I listened, but soon got distracted by the planning in my head. I needed to be home in time for dinner if I wanted Bryan to be happy. Last night's fight was still too fresh to add another one to it and I didn't think my body could handle another.
"JJ?"
I looked up, squinting to focus on Emily who had called out my name.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Are you coming with?"
"Um...sure?"
Emily looked at me, worry etched on her face. I didn't even know what I had agreed to, and she knew that. She could see it. I looked around, only to see that everyone except Emily had left the room.
"Okay, you want to tell me what's going on?" she asked when I frowned at the empty room. I looked at her and forced a smile—one I had used many times in front of cameras but never with any of my team members.
"I'm just tired is all," I said without missing a beat. "Where are we going?" I stood to my feet and Emily sighed, rolling her eyes before she stood.
"The case...it's just an hour drive and Hotch thought it would be easier if we carpooled. He asked you to come with but you were so far gone that I offered to wait, and ask you again."
"I have to be home in time though, Bryan invited some of his friends over for dinner and I want to be ready on time," I said, licking my lips. Emily shook her head and took a deep breath.
"Why don't you stay here then, help Garcia?"
I thought about it for a moment, knowing that Emily only wanted to help. But I also knew that I was the one that made things easier for them, that made sure that they could do whatever they wanted without having to worry about the local police or anything else.
"We both know that I need to be there to clear the road for you. I'll just call Bryan, it'll be fine," I said, having made up my mind. He would either have to reschedule with his friends, or make dinner himself.
Emily offered to drive while I tried to reach Bryan. He didn't answer my calls though and so when I'd tried for a fourth time, I gave up and sent him a text.
"I couldn't reach you, I have a case an hour away and I won't be able to make it to dinner."
Emily glanced at me from time to time but didn't say a word. When I put away my phone she turned on the radio and tapped her fingers on the wheel.
"So how are things with you and Bryan?" She asked after a while. I shrugged and stared out the window.
"They're great." I could feel her watching me and I turned my head toward her. "What?"
"I...nothing," she said. I wondered what she wanted to say but I didn't ask. Emily knew more than she should about Bryan and me—the first time he'd left bruises on my body she'd seen them—but I didn't want her to know more. I'd told her that I had walked into a door knob, but she didn't believe me. Of course she didn't.
In the year that Bryan and I had been together she had asked me numerous times if he hurt me, and every time she did I would tell her that he didn't and that we were fine. She was my friend, but we weren't close enough for me to be comfortable talking about my personal life.
"Just so you know, I love him. And we are happy, so you don't have to worry about it."
She raised her eyebrows as she glanced at me again and then nodded her head. She would let it go for now, but I knew that she would keep pushing until she knew more. It was the profiler in her, but also the caring person that she was.
I had to get better at hiding.