Disclaimer: Oda is genius. I'm not him. And I don't own.
"So this is Styx."
Mist rose off water in gentle, maddening rivulets – like small, ethereal waterfalls running in reverse. It was beautiful in an oddly endearing, mind-wrenching way. But then again, she was the one who had wanted to name the Sunny, 'Darkness Pill' so maybe her opinion wasn't particularly valid from the aesthetics standpoint.
Not that she cared what anyone else thought and still privately referred to it as Darkness Pill when the moon was queen and the sun just another of the hundreds of billions of distant suitors. Besides, she had things to take care of even if by all accounts she was waiting for Charon on the banks of some lonely island accompanied by an unconscious reindeer.
"R…R- Robin?"
Scratch the unconscious part.
"Doctor-san?" Once upon a time that smile in her voice, on her face, had been feigned.
"I… I failed us, didn't I?" Miserable. He was in his adorably cute human-reindeer hybrid form that for reasons that surpassed imagination and her considerable intellect, meant that he was about three feet tall. But because he was adorably, ridiculously cute she forgave him for being an open riddle with no answers and instead tilted the hat up he had pulled over his face to look straight into little, tearful reindeer eyes.
"You did your best. And none of the others are here."
It was true. She had checked.
"So your antidote got to them in time. You saved the crew, doctor-san. You found your panacea."
His eyes brightened. But then fell again.
"I couldn't save you."
"You already did."
It was a little while later, but finally Chopper asked: "Are we dead?"
"Probably."
Normally he'd be scared (funny how she could use the word 'normally' while dead), but right now all she could detect was resignation. She grabbed him close and seated him on her lap and together they watched the river of death for a while until she realized he was blubbering.
"It's okay, Doctor-san."
Sweet nothings. She hadn't quite grasped the concept the first time she had heard the expression. But maybe… maybe now she understood it a bit better. She wished there could be a sun, maybe a soft, perfect beach and pink cotton candy. Not a dark, grey ocean and stony, granite cliffs upon which to perch. While she might, he didn't belong here.
"There were… there were things I wanted to do and now…"
"Shhhh, it's okay, Doctor-san."
And then, many hours later, she discovered that even in the land of the dead one could fall asleep.
She smiled and hoped it was a good dream he was having.
And then she performed a minor experiment.
"Robin? Robin, what happened?"
Her clothes were wet. She was wet. He was hiding behind a rocky outcropping and for some reason, only hiding half his face instead of revealing only half, as might be expected from just about anyone else. Navigator-san had called it a reverse cartoon peek. Robin, despite all her learning, had never gotten the reference and Nami had laughed, a little like glass bells, and said it'd be too difficult to explain.
(Usopp and Luffy had appeared devastated at this news and moped around muttering 'deprived… poor thing… never even see a real cartoon her-' until Sanji had announced lunch about two minutes later.)
"I'm not sure," she mumbled truthfully. Apparently one didn't drown during death. But still, she was cold.
"Robin – Robin, did you go swimming?"
And suddenly he was about two feet away, searching for the medical backpack that had clearly been left in the land of the living. At least he wasn't yelling for a doctor. Robin firmly guided him back to the rocky outcropping.
"I'm fine. See?"
After some poking and prodding Chopper determined that she was indeed fine and managed to stop hyperventilating.
Then he hit her. It was a reindeer punch in his cute-adorable form which felt whisper light for someone who had once traded blows with an admiral that could kick things at the speed of light but still.
"You can't do that!" Chopper said, crying and Robin realized he'd been scared. More scared than he had ever been, possibly. "You can't just leave like that. We promised, remember? After we got you back from Enies Lobby, I would make sure-"
"I remember," she told him, finger on his lips. "Next time I go swimming, I promise I'll tell you."
He frowned at her.
It was adorable. Really.
"Robin! Robin! I see someone! Riding a…"
He was at a loss for words and having witnessed him grind together plants with labels so esoteric she's the only one he's ever trusted to not have to spell the words out so they weren't mixed up with some other – possibly lethal – ingredient she was fairly certain it's not a vocabulary issue.
She sneaked open an eye.
There was a boy. Riding a… suit of armor. (Or the open chestpiece of one. Connected to legs, arms and helmet.) On a river. A supposed river of the supposedly damned and dead. He also appeared to be wielding a clipboard as some sort of makeshift oar while cursing quite fluently. Enough so that with a little persuasion fingers stuffed themselves into Chopper's ears.
Interesting.
The… vagrant made it to shore without too much incident.
"Nico Robin? Tonytony…" There was a pause. "Who the fuck gets a name like Tonytony Chopper?"
She was privately glad the fingers were still stuffed in his ears and the little dear was giving them all very confused glances so she did the logical thing, covered his eyes and kicked the shinigami, ferryman, whatever in the crotch.
He went down. The demon woman then put a delicate hand on his throat and whispered: "Don't. Alarm. Him."
She gave him a smile.
It wasn't genuine.
He growled back at her. He was blond and short and annoyed and apparently wearing a codpiece. "Look lady-"
"Niisan! Being nice never hurt anyone."
Robin blinked. The chestpiece was… speaking. It was a boyish voice and hadn't yet deepened. She looked more closely at the armor, fascinated.
"Fine, fine, fine. When we get your body back and people are kicking you in the balls for doing your job, I'll be telling you to be nice."
"Yes, niisan."
"Alright Mr. Chopper and Mrs. Robin," the shrimp said with exaggerated care, "please sign these forms. Someone'll be around to get them processed."
Robin finally un-stuck the fingers from Chopper's ears and uncovered his eyes.
The boy in red and the talking suit of armor/boat disappeared sometime as she was mulling through the paperwork.
"They want us to fight?" Chopper squeaked as he read through his own documents. "Hades coliseum. That doesn't sound good." He sifted through the document for another moment. "But they are offering good dental."
Yes, while they were dead. And presumably not in need of dental.
Robin raised an eyebrow at him, wishing she had her reading glances. There wasn't a real need for them, but it would be nice to have something familiar while she read through contracts explaining the necessity to sell their immortal souls. She had always thought it was a little more figurative. This just sounded more like mundane slavery. She had read about gladiators, once.
"This Hades person sounds awfully confident," Chopper muttered. "Why should we even do this?"
Robin skipped to the last paragraph.
"Apparently…" she looked at it again, aghast, hopeful, wondering. "Apparently because he can bring us back to life."
Author's notes: We'll be seeing a few cameos from various places. Today we have Ed and Al from FMA. If you didn't already know. And no, I don't own em' either.