'I Saw Wuffy Kissing Santa Claus'

"…" – Speaking

'…' – Singing

Duo came bounding into the safe house's living room where Trowa and Quatre were cuddling on the couch. Wufei was arguing with Sally, Dorothy, and Hildi, and Heero was running around trying desperately to escape Relena.

Heero: "Get the HELL away from me, baka onna!"

Relena: "My Heero! Come to me!"

Heero: "ACK! I'm not your Heero! I'm Duo's!"

Relena: "No! You're MINE! Now get your ass over here!"

Heero: "HELL NO!"

Relena: "Yes!"

Duo: "Relena, leave my Heero alone."

Relena: "Humph! He's…"

Duo: "…not yours, Relena. He's mine, now leave him alone!"

Duo pulled Heero into a big hug. Heero looked up at him with puppy dog eyes.

Heero: "Thank you, Duo."

Meanwhile…

Wufei: "INJUSTICE! I do NOT need to cut my hair!"

Sally, Dorothy, and Hildi smirked wickedly.

All three: "YES, you do!"

Sally and Hildi held Wufei's arms while Dorothy grabbed the scissors and, still smirking, started walking toward him.

Wufei: "NOOO! You can't…!"

snip…snip…snip

Wufei: "…KISAMA! BAKA ONNAS! OMAE O KOROSU!"

Heero: "Hey that's my line!"

Duo, Trowa, Quatre roll their eyes as Sally, Dorothy, and Hildi start giggling. Relena was crying too hard about not being able to have Heero to notice; and Wufei was glaring at Heero for his burst of stupidity.

Duo: "Yo, dudes! And dudettes. Quiet down! I gotta surprise for you!"

Everyone else: "What?"

Duo: "Guess!"

Everyone else: "WHAT!"

Duo: "Sheesh! Cool it guys! I just wanted to get everyone into the Christmas spirit. It is, after all, Christmas! You know, a holiday? A time for celebration? A ti…"

Heero: "Get to the point, damn it!"

Duo: Ok, ok, fine! I have a song I want to sing to you. I wrote it myself!"

Relena: "Not now, Duo! I'm mourning the loss of my Heero."

Heero: "Ack! I'm NOT your Heero."

Duo: "Anyway, like I said, I want to sing you a song I wrote."

Hildi: "Wait a minute! You actually wrote a song?"

Duo: "Yeah."

Quatre: "Sing it for us Duo!"

Duo: "Sure Quat…"

Hildi: "STOP! You, a very musically challenged boy, wrote a song? I don't believe it! Did you really write an ENTIRE song?"

Duo: "Heehee…uh…not an entire song, no…"

Hildi: "I didn't think so!"

Trowa: "What did you do then, Duo?"

Duo: "Well, after I found my inspiration for this, I just kinda changed some words in an existing song around."

Wufei: "Figures. I knew you wouldn't be able to actually write a song."

Duo: "Hey! NOT nice, Wuffels!"

Wufei: "SHUT UP, MAXWELL!"

Sally, Dorothy, and Hildi: (at the same time) "YOU shut up, WUFFELS!"

Wufei: "Don't any of you baka onnas ever call me that…that despicable name ever again!"

Sally: "Aw…he's so kawaii when he's mad."

Wufei: "KISAMA!"

Duo: "Hello! Back to me please, children!"

Everyone pauses and looks at Duo.

Duo: "Thank you. I call my song…Uh, hang on a minute. Heero, Trowa, could you guys hold onto Wufei please?"

Heero and Trowa look at Duo, then each other, then grab hold of Wufei's arms.

Wufei: "Wha…Hey! Let go! NOW!"

Trowa: "Why do we have to restrain him, Duo?"

Duo: "You'll see! Ok, I call my song… 'I Saw Wuffy Kissing Santa Claus.'"

Wufei: "NANI! KISAMA! LET ME GO!"

Quatre: "Duo! Really?"

Duo: "Yep! Cool, huh?"

Dorothy: "Very original Duo."

Duo: "Yeah, yeah, so all I did was replace 'daddy' with 'Wuffy.' I also made a few other adjustments in the song. You guys'll love it!"

Hildi: "I gotta hear this! Sing it Duo!"

Duo: "'Kay! Let me put the music on first."

Translations:

Kisama – bastard

Omae o Korosu – I'll kill you

Nani – what

Onna(s) – Woman(women)

Kawaii – cute

Baka – idiot or stupid (when in front of something else i.e. onna!)