Text Fever
DG32173

Sarah: welcome, my lovely readers, to what will quite likely be one of my funniest Delena fanfics. I hope everyone enjoys.

CREDIT
As always, I must give a great big shout-out of gratitude and praise to my marvelous beta, Cameron, aka VDfan2107. Thanks so much for helping me on my stories.

DISCLAIMER
I only own this story as it is written. It's as simple as that.

WARNINGS – PLEASE READ!
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE! This story alters from the show's storyline in Season 1, sometime after Elena finds out that the brothers are vampires but before the episode where she and Damon went to Georgia. Elena and Stefan have not gotten physical yet and Elena is still in the dark about her resemblance to Katherine. Elena and Stefan are together for a good part of this fanfic, but Damon is doing his damnedest to win Elena's heart. Things between Elena and Stefan do not go any further than kissing as Damon will make sure that he gets to be Elena's first. That said, this is rated M for future content. Damon has given up on opening the tomb to 'free' Katherine in favor of making Elena his. No appearances will be made by anyone who appeared in the series from the Georgia episode on. That also means no Katherine. This story will remain in third-person viewpoint from beginning to end. There may or may not be a sequel, that is still undecided. As I said above, there will be quite a lot to laugh over in this fanfic. Be warned: Damon = Cockblocker to Stefan. Thank God, in my opinion. Also, one last thing, there will be a lot of texting, as the title implies. Be prepared for it or leave.

SUMMARY
Damon decides he wants Elena. But he's going to get her in a less than conventional way: through her phone. Will Stefan realize what's happening before it's too late? Damon/Elena, some Stefan/Elena


Chapter 1
The Plan

Damon sighs as he carefully polishes away the smudges on the marble fireplace mantle in the boarding house living room. He doesn't mind cleaning, actually. What he does mind is that he's the only one doing any cleaning around here. Unfortunately, Stefan won't let Damon hire a cleaning lady because he's afraid Damon might eat her, which leaves all the housework falling on the shoulders of the two vampires living here. But only one of them is making any effort to keep this place tidy. If it were up to Stefan, the whole damn boarding house would be filled with dust and mildew and all manner of odds and ends. But Damon's not going to let that happen, not on his watch. He spent millions out of his private accounts to design and build this place. He's not going to let the junk his brother collects leave Stefan's room. If Stefan wants a messy room, he can have a messy room but not a single dust mote is making it past the foot of the stairs leading up to that room. Not if Damon has a say in the matter.

Damon had finished off cleaning the whole boarding house in here because here is where most of the alcohol is kept. He'd rather not raid his private stash if he doesn't have to. And right now, he doesn't have to. He peruses the options he has to choose from before grabbing the finest bottle of bourbon available and turning around. Immediately, his keen eyes spot an object on the coffee table that does not belong there: Stefan's phone. Damon's lips twitch in amusement. Apparently his baby brother had forgotten his phone in his haste to depart for school. And on that lovely little device will be one number Damon is very eager to learn: Elena's.

He walks over and grabs Stefan's phone with his free hand. Turning it on, he quickly searches through contacts for Elena's name. He memorizes her number as he reads it. He then turns Stefan's phone off and puts it back in the precise spot it had been on the coffee table. He then whips out his own phone and adds Elena's number to his contacts. He casts a quick glance at the clock on the mantle he had just finished polishing. His lips curl into a smirk when he sees it's lunch time for little miss do-gooder. As soon as he had spotted his brother's phone, a plan had hatched in his mind, a plan for turning Elena into his immortal queen. Granted, talking her into giving up her mortal status will have to wait until she is actually his, but all plans have to start somewhere. And this plan starts with winning her over through texts. This is where that lovely app he had downloaded to mask his identity will come in very handy. He takes a seat in his favorite chair and opens his bottle of bourbon. Then he starts a new text to Elena.

Mystic Falls High Courtyard

Elena frowns as her phone buzzes, signaling she got a text. She digs it out of her purse and frowns when the contact information only says 'Mystery Man'. She had heard about that app that hides your contact info. Whoever the text is from doesn't want her to know their identity. She briefly debates the pros and cons before deciding she might as well look at the text.

Hello, Beautiful.

She frowns but replies. Who is this? - E

I'm your mystery admirer, that's who.

I HAVE a boyfriend. - E

I know. Doesn't stop me from finding you attractive and admirable.

Well, you're certainly better with your grammar than most people who text me. – E

I'll take that as a compliment.

Elena fights back a smile. That's when Stefan notices she's texting someone. "Who are you texting?" he asks with a frown.

"Someone with the Mystery Man app," Elena replies, typing in her reply. How did you get my number? – E

That would be telling.

Why didn't you call me? - E

Maybe I'm shy.

Doubtful. – E

Okay, how's this: you just might recognize my voice. Then I wouldn't be a mystery.

You seem very fond of mysteries. – E

I've enjoyed several well-written mystery novels. The Sherlock Holmes novels, for example.

I love Sherlock Holmes. – E

We have something in common then. Let's see what else we have in common, shall we?

Elena giggles at her mystery admirer's enthusiasm. I'm in school. Lol – E

Oh my. How could I have forgotten? I'm not getting you in trouble, am I?

Don't worry, it's lunch break. But it'll be over soon. – E

I'll text you after last bell. Until then.

You still haven't told me your name! – E

Lol, you'll find out who I am soon enough. The bell for the end of lunch should be ringing any second, right?

And the bell does ring right as soon as she finishes reading the message. She types a hasty reply. Just did. After school, then? - E

We'll talk after last bell. Promise.

Elena smiles and turns her phone off. She looks up to see Stefan and Bonnie staring at her like she'd grown a second head. "What?" she asks, tucking her phone back into her purse. She shoulders her purse and stands up. "C'mon, we're going to be late."

"Who on earth were you talking to?" Bonnie demands, getting to her feet. "I haven't seen you this happy since before last May."

"I told you. Someone with the Mystery Man app," Elena says as they head inside and make their way to their history class. "He mentioned liking the Sherlock Holmes novels and I told him that I love those books. He wanted to talk about them but I had to tell him I was at school. He was pretty funny. He mentioned texting me after last bell. He wouldn't tell me who he is, though."

Stefan frowns as Elena's eyes light up as she talks about her mystery text-buddy. "You should be careful if you don't know who he is," he feels the need to caution.

"Don't worry, Stefan. He wasn't the least bit rude or anything. He seemed perfectly polite and, as I said, he was funny. Bonnie's right, I haven't felt this good since before my parents died," she says. Stefan almost wilts at that. He had thought he had been making her happy. Then he firms up his spine. He'll just have to try harder.

Boarding house

Damon smirks. As far as he can tell, his plan is working. He'll know for sure by how broody Stefan is when he gets home. He sips at his bourbon, already impatient for the time to come for the bell that signals school is over. Then he'll be able to text her again.

After last bell of school, Elena

Elena can't keep the smile off her lips when her phone alerts her to a new text message. She tells herself she shouldn't get her hopes up that it's from the mystery guy who contacted her during lunch, but she can't help sending up a prayer that it's from him. She digs her phone out of her purse as she makes her way through the crowd of students flooding the halls to her locker. Her smile turns to a grin when she sees 'Mystery Man' on the ID.

Told you I would send a text after last bell. ;)

She quickly types her reply. Are you going to tell me who you are now? – E

Not just yet. I want to remain a mystery for just a little longer.

Stefan approaches her but frowns when he sees Elena's already smiling at the text conversation on her phone. He's only seen that particularly joyous smile on her face once before: when the guy with the Mystery Man app had contacted her during lunch. Elena doesn't even notice him as she gets the books she'll need for homework from her locker while texting the Mystery Man with one hand.

When will you tell me who you are? – E

Soon. Now, as I was saying in our last conversation during your lunch break, let's find out what else we have in common, shall we?

We already know we both like Sherlock Holmes. – E

Very true. Now, I know a good friend of yours happens to love the Twilight Saga. What's your take on it?

UGH! If Bella had gotten together with Jacob in the end, I might have actually LIKED it. As it is, I am thoroughly disgusted by it. – E

We seem to be in agreement on that much, lol.

Elena shoulders her backpack and starts heading outside, completely oblivious to the fact that her boyfriend had been standing right next to her, trying to get her attention. At least, she's oblivious until he grabs her arm. She looks up, shocked. Then she gives him a small smile, not the light-up-her-face smile she had been wearing while talking to the Mystery Man. "Hey, Stefan. Sorry, I didn't see you there. That guy from lunch texted me," she says apologetically.

"What were you talking about with him?" Stefan asks, trying not to let his jealousy show.

"We're just talking about books, that's all. We seem to have a lot in common when it comes to books," she says.

"You never talk about books with me," he points out, almost sulking.

"You just don't seem the type to have any interest in the kind of books I read," Elena replies softly.

Before Stefan can come up with a reply to that, Elena's phone alerts her to a new text. She looks down at her phone with that smile that lights up her face.

Are you ignoring me now?:'(

No, no. I'm sorry. My boyfriend just caught up to me. When I told him you and I were talking about books, he got a little sulky because I don't talk books with him. – E

And why not? You obviously have excellent taste in books.

It's just that I don't think he and I have a lot in common when it comes to the books we read for enjoyment. – E

As Elena returns to her conversation with the Mystery Man, she continues making her way out to her car, completely forgetting that Stefan had obviously been trying to get her attention for a while.

So what else don't you like about the Twilight books?

Well, for one thing, I've always hated that Stefanie Meyer made her vampires sparkle in the sun. – E

Same here. I'm of a mind that vampires would burn up in the sun if they didn't have some kind of protection from it.

I completely agree. I understand that she wanted her vampires to be a bit different from the ones in folklore, but SPARKLES? That's too much. – E

Yeah, well, everyone wants to put their own twist on folklore. Anything else?

Unfortunately, I'm afraid that if my boyfriend read the books, he'd feel a strange kinship to Edward and that is NOT what I want in a boyfriend. – E

Well, what DO you want in a boyfriend?

Someone who's a bit more like Jacob, actually. But not quite Jacob, either. I want someone who knows how to have a good time and would be right there with me if I wanted to party 'til dawn on a school night. I want him to want ME to decide what's best for me instead of deciding that FOR me. Unfortunately, Stefan, my boyfriend, isn't like that at all. – E

Then why are you with him?

Elena pauses next to her car as she reads that text again. She frowns as she realizes that this mystery guy has a good point. If Stefan doesn't have the traits she's looking for in that special someone in her life, then why is she with him? The only thing that comes to her mind makes her cringe. But she might as well admit it to this mystery guy.

I feel a sense of duty, I guess. I think he's the one who saved my life last May when my parents and I were in a crash. They drowned and I lived. I feel like it's my duty to give him a chance. – E

That's not a good reason to be with someone and I'm sure you know that. There's a big difference between 'duty' and 'love'. And if you feel like it's your duty to be with him, then you obviously don't love him. Love doesn't give you the sense of it being your duty to be with someone.

Elena sighs. Whoever this guy is, he's right. Love and duty are two very different things. And love does not instill a sense of duty to be with someone. But she feels a strong need to explain what else Stefan did for her.

It's not just that. After the crash, I pretty much shut down. And it wasn't until I laid eyes on him on the first day of school that I started waking up. – E

Still sounds like you feel duty-bound to be with him for it. Does he bring out the girl you were before the crash? Or are you still caught in that 'half-awake' stage where you're not yet back to who you were?

I don't think I'll ever be that girl again, to be honest. – E

You lost your parents. It's understandable that you feel like that. I lost mine a long time ago. But you need to let them rest in peace and carry on with life. There is a reason they say children should bury their parents, not the other way around. Admittedly, we both lost ours much sooner than expected, but we still would have had to bury them at some point. Can you honestly tell me your parents would have WANTED you to mourn their deaths forever?

No. No, I can't. – E

I intend to bring out the fire I know is still inside of you. Your darling boyfriend is only going to try to stifle the real you because he wants the female version of himself that you have allowed yourself to become. I'm not going to let him do that. And you better put up a fight as well.

How do you know so much about me? I don't even know you. – E

Oh, you know me. I just haven't revealed my identity yet. I'm using this as an opportunity to prove to you that there is a lot more to me than you want to believe.

Well, I need to be getting home. I need to cook dinner since Jenna's a disaster in the kitchen. – E

I'll text you at 7, then. Maybe I'll even help you with your homework. Then we can talk until you go to sleep.

Okay. Ttyl. – E

That's a promise.

Elena smiles as she tucks her phone back in her purse before climbing in the driver's seat of her SUV. As she starts the engine, she can't help but wish that seven will get here fast. She likes talking to her mystery admirer.

Boarding house

Damon smirks as he tucks his phone in his pocket just as Stefan slams in the front door. "What's got you so upset?" Damon asks, smirking at his brother's ill-mood.

"Elena was contacted by someone with the Mystery Man app over lunch and then again after last bell. She got so wrapped up in her conversation with them that I had to grab her arm to get her attention. We barely had a few sentences of conversation before he texted her again and she immediately forgot I was standing there!" Stefan complains, so upset that he doesn't care that he's complaining to his evil older brother who has no trace of humanity.

"Aww, got your panties in a bunch because your girlfriend got caught up conversing with someone else?" Damon mocks. "Hate to tell you, little bro, but she is human. She can't multitask the way we can. When something catches a human's attention, there ain't a lot you can do to bring them back to the real world for more than a few seconds at a time until they're ready to come back to it."

"Shut up, Damon," Stefan growls as he heads for the stairs. "You don't even have a trace of humanity. You can't possibly know what's going on between Elena and me."

"Oh, I know more than you think," Damon chuckles.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Stefan demands.

"Nothing you need to know about right now. Run along. I'm sure you have homework to do," Damon says dismissively.

7:00pm, Gilbert house

Right as Elena sits down to start her homework, her phone buzzes, alerting her to a new text. She eagerly picks it up and grins when she sees 'Mystery Man' on the ID.

Hello again, beautiful.

When do you plan on telling me who you are? – E

Soon. And here I was thinking you had more patience than I did.

I wouldn't know since you aren't telling me who you are. – E

Curiosity killed the cat, you know.

Elena frowns. I guess that's why my boyfriend's brother calls me 'kitten', I'm always full of curiosity about what goes on around me. – E

Do remember that even kittens have claws and teeth. And being a kitten isn't a bad thing. Even jaguars, tigers, and cheetahs start as kittens, what most people call cubs. And those are three of the best solitary hunters in the world.

But I don't want to be solitary in life – E

Relax. Even those great cats can form family groups. Remember, lions start as kittens, too. And they ALWAYS travel in family groups unless they are forced out of it.

Are you saying that he might be trying to imply with his nickname for me that I have potential to become some fierce predator? – E

Kittens are the young of both house cats and the great cats. Tame or wild, which path do YOU want to walk? And ALL cats are fiercely independent. Even the domestic house cat can make it perfectly fine in the wild if it so chose to. It just knows that the hand that feeds it is a surer way of keeping food in its stomach than trying to kill its own meals.

Elena frowns at that last message. The guy who calls me 'kitten' is an ass. – E

Have you ever tried finding out WHY he acts like that? Have you ever thought about what has gone on in his life to make him react so? Or did you just judge the book by the cover and discard it because you didn't like the surface? My guess is that you listened to the critics, looked at the surface, and labeled him "an ass".

Are you really defending him? – E

I'm just saying that everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves. Maybe not being given such a chance has resulted in his becoming the guy you know. My guess is that your darling boyfriend screams "perfect boyfriend" to you. But what do you REALLY know about him? How much of his past has he shared? Can't judge a book by its cover, Elena. After all, all the critics showered the Twilight Saga with glory and the covers are pretty to look at. But to know a good book from a bad book, you have to read it cover-to-cover yourself and then make your judgment. If you don't know everything there is to know about someone, then you're just judging the cover they have decided to show you. Why don't you go pull out your all-time favorite book, the one you've read so many times its falling apart, and take a good hard look at it and what the critics said about it. Or WERE there any reviews in the book left by critics? Go on.

I don't see what you're trying to prove. – E

Just go get out your favorite book and take a good hard look at it. Then take a look at the Twilight Saga books in your room. You'll see what I mean.

Okay. – E

Elena sets her phone down, goes to the loose floorboard by her bed and lifts it up to pull out her battered old leather-bound copy of To Kill a Mockingbird. She's read it so many times that the spine is more duct tape than leather while the front and back covers permanently bend outwards and all the pages are dog-eared from being turned down to mark her page. The good book is old and a little ugly to look at but it is still her favorite. Then she turns towards the worst book series she had ever had the misfortune of reading. The Twilight Saga books are all prim and proper and the front pages are jam packed with the high praise the critics had laid on it. She looks down at the battered book in her hand. There's only a single page with just one side of it stating the praise for the old book.

She sighs and carries her book with her to the desk to pick up her phone and send a text. Are you saying that Stefan might be like Twilight, someone awful disguising himself with a glowing package, while Damon is like my copy of "To Kill a Mockingbird"? – E

I'm just saying that maybe time and circumstances has wrapped Damon in a bad package and he just needs someone to unwrap the bad package to see what's inside. And really, what DO you know about Stefan's past? I doubt he's told you even a fraction of what there is to tell.

And you know this how? Who ARE you? – E

You still have to wait to find out. I did mention helping you with your homework, didn't I? What are you studying in history?

World War 2. I really don't understand it. People are people. Why should it matter what color their hair and eyes are or what religion they practice?

You're thinking of this as a person who CARES what happens to other people. Hitler was a supremacist. Use what you learned about the majority of the plantation owners in the south prior to the Civil War. They looked at the blacks as property rather than people. In a way, they were white supremacists. They felt that whites were superior. Hitler thought a certain look was what everyone should strive for. He thought that was the supreme appearance, superior to all others. Nasty-minded sort of thinking, in my opinion. And then to bring the whole world to fighting over his personal issues with humanity. That's just being an extreme egotist. Those kinds of people need a good slap upside the head.

Elena frowns and thinks about it. Then she realizes that the mystery guy is right. You're right. Hitler was a lot like the majority of the plantation owners. And I agree, a good slap upside the head is called for when dealing with that type of person. – E

Now that you have a reference point, think you can understand it a little better?

Maybe not UNDERSTAND it, but at least accept that there are those kinds of people in the world even now. – E

Text me when you change subjects. I tend not to worry about history. 'The past is the past. It can't be changed, only learned from.' That's my motto.

A very good motto. – E

You should live by it as well, Elena.

What do you mean? I don't live in the past. - E

You wouldn't still be carrying all that grief and guilt over your parents' deaths if you didn't live in the past. You and I have to have a talk about that sometime.

What sort of talk? – E

Homework first, Elena. I value a good education.

Yes, mom. Lol – E

I don't have the right anatomy to be your mother, young lady. Besides, I'd rather be me. At least I stand a pretty good chance of talking you away from your clingy boyfriend.

He's not clingy! – E

Yes he is. He wouldn't be so jealous of me if he weren't clingy. Not to mention he's got abysmal confidence that you wouldn't leave him for me.

He doesn't even know you. – E

He knows I texted you today at lunch and after last bell. He knows that you ignored him in favor of my wit and charm. He's jealous. Not to mention he'd be royally pissed if he knew who I am. He's terrified I'll step in and sweep you off your feet and into my arms. Now, stop trying to get out of doing homework. As I said, I value a good education. Get to work and text me when you're not working on history. I can help you in any subject except history.

You already helped me in history. – E

Well, then, I guess I should get a degree in history at some point if I'm better at it than I thought I was. Now do your homework, Elena.

Elena chuckles and gets to work on her history homework. An hour and a half later, her mystery admirer had helped her through her homework and she had done her evening routine so that she is ready for bed. Now she is lying in bed, texting with the mystery guy.

When do you plan on telling me who you are? – E

I'll tell you just before you go to sleep.

Why then? – E

So that you don't have a chance to get mad until tomorrow.

Why would I get mad? You're funny and helpful. – E

Why, thank you! But, seriously, when you find out who I am, you are going to be furious. You might not want to talk to me after that. But I'm not giving up.

Elena frowns. And if I promised I won't get mad? – E

Don't go making promises you don't know if you'll be able to keep, sweetheart. As I said earlier, I'm proving to you that what you know of me is only PART of who I am. There's a great deal more to me than what's on the surface. A great deal more to Stefan as well, but that's beside the point.

Okay, what if I promise to TRY to have an open mind after today? – E

Only if you stick to the promise. If there is one thing I value above all else, it's a person's ability to stick to the promises they make. I've had too many people break their word when they gave it to me. There can't be any conditions or escape clauses on the promise once you make it or you'll be no different from all the other people in my life who have betrayed me.

Elena frowns and searches inside herself to make sure she could make such a promise to this guy no matter who he turns out to be. From the way he's talking, he's someone she's holding a massive grudge against who is trying to make amends. And there's only one name that comes readily to mind that she's holding a grudge against. She decides that she'll give him a chance to prove himself. And she could be wrong. It could be someone other than Damon Salvatore. But that's unlikely.

I promise I'll try to keep an open mind after you tell me who you are. You've proven that you at least deserve a chance to change whatever impression I have of you. – E

All I'm asking for is a chance. Just keep referring to me as Mystery Man to your friends and we're good.

Are you going to tell me who you are now? – E

;) I'm sure you have an idea by now who I am. My bet is your first guess is right on the money.

Turn off your Mystery Man app and we'll find out. – E

Boarding house, Damon's room

Damon smirks at Elena's saucy reply. He decides he can handle that and disables the app before typing a new message: Surprise. And remember, you promised to try to keep an open mind. – D

Gilbert house, Elena's room

Elena is surprised that her lips curl into a smile to see that she was right in her guess. Well, there is the proof that she can keep an open mind. She types a reply: So I did. I'm going to give you a chance, Damon. Don't screw it up. – E

Damon

Damon chuckles. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going back in disguise. I'd rather not have any of your friends looking at your phone and seeing that I text you. – D

Go ahead. I'd rather not have them yelling at me after finding out I carry on conversations with you. Just out of curiosity, how DID you get my number? – E

Damon turns on the Mystery Man app before typing his reply: St. Stefan left his phone at home when he left for school today. I found it lying on the coffee table in the living room. If you searched through your contacts, you'll see I took the opportunity presented to me the other day to add my number to your contacts. – D

Elena

Elena rolls her eyes and checks through her contacts. Sure enough, there's a new contact listed as "Call 4 a Good Time". She edits the contact and changes the name to Damon Salvatore. Then she goes back to her texting conversation with Damon.

Really? Couldn't you just put your name? – E

And where would the fun in THAT be, my dear? Besides, I'm full of good times. – D

Of the variety my friends wouldn't approve of, I'm sure. – E

Oh, I know all kinds of ways to have fun, so get your mind out of the gutter, young lady. Unless you want me to join you? ;) – D

Not happening, buddy. I sleep single. – E

And yet your bed is a double. – D

Elena is surprised by the laughter that comes out of her at that. I am not dignifying that with a response. – E

Too late, you just did. Lol – D

Elena groans, though her lips are curved in a grin. Was Stefan really jealous? – E

Well, considering he slammed the front door open AND shut when he got home from school and was complaining about the 'mystery guy' who texted you at lunch and afterschool to ME … yes, he was jealous. ;) – D

This is all your fault. – E

Hey, I just texted you. I didn't FORCE you to have such a good time talking to me that you went into your own little world that revolved around our conversation and left everyone else out. – D

You do realize you're going to have to do a lot to prove you deserve this chance I'm giving you, right? – E

Hey, from what I hear, you were having the most fun you've had since May and it was because of ME. I think I deserve a little pat on the back for chasing away your blues completely. – D

Ha-ha. Seriously, Damon, you've done a lot of bad to people I've known my whole life. You've done bad things in front of me. To make up for all that, you're going to have to bust your ass and prove that you're deserving of my friendship. – E

Sweetheart, I told you. I'm not going to stop until you're mine. And remember what I said when I had you look at those books. Just because something comes in a pretty package with all the critics raining praise on it doesn't mean it's actually as good as it wants you to think it is. And just because something comes in an ugly package doesn't mean it's completely horrible. If you want the truth, Stefan is no better than I am. He just comes in a shinier package. If you knew what I know about him, you wouldn't be quite so willing to throw your arms around him and put your neck so close to his teeth. – D

Elena frowns. Stefan drinks animal blood. – E

Right NOW he does. But it won't last. It never does. To be honest, this is the longest he's gone on the animal diet at one time. And if I told you what happened to every HUMAN he's sunk his fangs into, you'd have nightmares for the rest of your life and wouldn't be able to look at him. I have the self-control to be able to stop while they're still alive. Stefan … well, by the time he's done with the human there's not a drop of blood left in them and not all of it went into his stomach. Ask him about WHY he drinks animal blood rather than even blood bags. He won't want to talk about it, I can tell you that much. – D

What does that have to do with anything? – E

Elena, Stefan and I are the same age as vampires, no matter our age difference when we were human. We should be at the same level in our abilities. But because he's fed on animals off and on through the years, I can toss him around like a ragdoll effortlessly. In fact, he's so much weaker than I am that I have to put forth the same amount of effort to keep from hurting him as I do to keep from hurting a human. I have to judge my actions infinitesimally to keep from breaking bones or ripping an arm completely off a body when I'm just shaking hands with a human. I have to judge my actions just as minutely to keep from seriously hurting Stefan. I shouldn't have to, not when we're the same vampire age. And it's all because he's been drinking animal blood off and on throughout the years.

Why should the blood you drink determine your strength? – E

I haven't exactly made a study of it. But I'm guessing it has something to do with the intelligence of our prey. The more intelligent the prey, the more power is added to us when we drink from it. But there's also another factor in regards to those on this planet who take the shape of humanity. Those who look like humans but are more than humans, aka witches, vampires, and so on, add an even greater amount of power to the vampire that feeds on them. Age is another factor. Vampires prefer to feed on those in the prime of there life. But it is a very rare vampire that would feed on a child, since we became essentially sterile upon transitioning. – D

You mean you can't have kids? – E

Nope. Gave up the ability to become a parent as soon as my father shot Stefan and me through our hearts for trying to rescue Katherine in 1864. Oh, speaking of Katherine, what has he told you about her? – D

This is a weird topic change. – E

It's not exactly a topic change. I'm sharing with you things Stefan would rather stay buried. – D

Why won't Stefan talk about her? – E

He doesn't want you finding out something quite uncanny about her that involves you. But, since I'm not your boyfriend, it's not my place to tell you. – D

Now hinting something big like that and then zipping your lips is not nice. :( - E

It's still not my place to tell you. This is one topic that is left up to the one in the role of your boyfriend. After all, it's the reason why he chose to hang around and get to know you in the first place. Admittedly, I was already planning on hanging around when you and I met but seeing you for the first time did throw me for a loop for a moment. – D

Okay, now I'm REALLY curious as to what you're not-quite-saying. – E

If you were MY girlfriend, this would have been one of the first things I'd have told you. I wouldn't have tried to brush it under the rug to hide it from you. But as I'm not your boyfriend, it's not my place to reveal this little secret of ours. Now, that's all I'm going to say on the subject. If you want to know more, you'll have to pry it out of Stefan. I suggest you be prepared to rip into him to get to the truth. – D

Elena frowns. She had thought Stefan would understand that she can't handle having the important people in her life keeping secrets from her. But now Damon's revealed that Stefan is keeping another secret from her, this one relating to Katherine. Why are you telling me all these things only to stop before telling me the full story? – E

To prove to you that I don't keep secrets from the important people in my life. Stefan, however, doesn't know how to tell the truth anymore. These days I think he believes even his own lies. He's got this huge thing for denial. If you want the truth, even at my most dangerous, I'm still safer to be around than he is right now. Vampires weren't meant to live on animal blood. It's like a human living on just rye bread and tap water. It keeps you going but it's not healthy for you. Not to mention that the stale bread and tap water tastes absolutely revolting, like the bread is rotten and moldy and the tap water is filled with algae. – D

Gross! – E

Couldn't agree more. Stefan's been on that disgusting diet for just over sixteen years now. – D

What is human blood in this comparison? – E

Think of a stew thick with the best cuts of meat fresh from the cow, the ripest of vegetables and grain, in a nice rich gravy. Add in a glass of fresh-squeezed juice made from the ripest fruit you can find. That's what human blood is to a vampire. Well, human blood fresh from the vein, that is. – D

And bagged blood? – E

Same kind of stew and juice, just store-bought ingredients rather than farm-fresh. Same sustenance, just with a slightly stale flavor. – D

And I'm guessing you won't tell me why Stefan has to make do with animal blood rather than bagged blood? – E

He doesn't HAVE to make do with it, he just chooses to because he lacks the willpower it takes to acquire the self-control he needs to function as a proper vampire. – D

I'll take that as a 'no, Elena, I won't answer your question but I'll explain something else that has nothing to do with what you are asking.' – E

Very funny. – D

I thought so. :) Anyways, I should probably get some sleep, it's getting late and I do have school tomorrow. – E

I'll talk to you tomorrow then. How's your lunch break sound? – D

Are you seriously going to text me at lunch again? And how do you even know when my lunch break is? – E

I got your schedule from Blondie, who would NOT shut up for anything. She had very few useful things to say, but I memorized them. – D

You know, if she knew precisely what you put her through, she would hate you forever. – E

I can live with that. It'll keep her from running her mouth nonstop around me. – D

Yeah, well, you're going to have to put up with her. She's still one of my best friends. We've known each other since we were in diapers. – E

I thought you were tired. Get some sleep, Elena. I'll still be here tomorrow. And remember what I said about a good education. Don't let thoughts of me distract you from learning new things. – D

Goodnight, Damon. I'll talk to you tomorrow. – E

Goodnight, Elena. Can't wait. – D

Elena sets her phone on her night stand, plugging the charging cord in since the battery is getting low. She then turns off her lamp and snuggles up with Teddy, already impatient for the next time she can talk to Damon.

Damon

Damon relaxes enough to allow a true smile to slip free. A miracle had been granted to him in that Elena didn't immediately start ignoring him when he revealed himself as her mystery admirer. Another miracle had been granted when she actually came through on her promise to keep an open mind. Tucking in those clues as to the secrets Stefan is still hiding from her was so easy. He is definitely going to get the girl this time. He smirks. Things are going precisely according to plan. Perfect.