"Ron, wake up," said Harry. "We're gonna go see some titties."
Ron drowsily opened his eyes. "Harry, it's like 3 in the morning."
"I know, but I haven't been able to sleep all night. So I got to thinking: what if we sneak into the girls dorm and see if we can see any of them nekkid?" Harry was grinning like a child.
Ron scratched his scalp. "Harry, I don't think that's such a good idea."
Harry let out an irritable grunt. "Oh come on, Ron. I went to all the trouble of thinking up a plan! They're probably up there right now having a nekkid pillow fight or something."
"At 3AM?" Ron was puzzled. It seemed to him that there was something inherently wrong about trying to sneak a peek at the naked bodies of girls without their consent. "Harry, those are our friends up there."
"Exactly!" Harry's eyes lit up. "Which means Hermione will be there too!"
Ron's expression became distant. He didn't think he'd ever find out what Hermione looked like nekkid. She had nice skin...
"But Harry," he said, "remember when you tried storming up to the Girls Dorm a few years ago and it became a slide that you just fell down? They must have built-in counter measures to stop boys from doing this sort of thing."
"And do they have counter measures to stop the girls from doing it to us boys?" Harry scoffed. "It's sexist, I tell you! A complete double standard. Why, I once caught Romilda Vane trying to peer into our dorm window while riding a broomstick."
"That's not *so* bad," said Ron.
"She was nekkid," said Harry.
"Oh." Ron was puzzled. "Is that your plan then? To ride your Firebolt up to their window?"
"I already tried that," said Harry. "It's one of those blasted windows where they can see out but you can't see in."
"But surely you don't mean to climb the slide?"
"I don't need to climb it," said Harry. "Like you just said-I have a Firebolt!"