DISCLAIMER: I do not own any recognizable characters. Any and all rights go to J.K. Rowling. I only changed some of the plot around.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello, everyone. I do not think I can apologize enough for the wait on this story... However I hope you can forgive me. THIS IS A SEQUEL! If you do not read the first one then this will be really confusing. Anyway, I hope you like the sequel. : )
Chapter One: Grief, Guilt, and Plans
Harry Potter was no stranger to grief. As a matter of fact, one might believe that he was best friends with grief. His life seemed to attract trouble and that trouble seemed to attract death and grief clung to death like a parasite. Harry was desperately trying to remove the images of his late Headmaster's fall from the Astronomy tower. His eyes became misty and a lump formed in his throat. He shook his head and instead focused his thought on Snape. The anger he felt toward the Potion's Master was easier to deal with he decided.
"Harry, love?" his mother said cautiously sticking her head into his room. She looked at him sitting on the bed with his knees drawn up under his chin. Her eyes twinkled with sympathy. "Supper's ready if you'd like some," she informed him quietly.
"Thanks," Harry muttered. "I'll be down in a minute."
Harry had spoken with Ron and Hermione at the end of the term and they had decided that none of them would be returning to Hogwarts the following year. However, the three of them had yet to inform their parents. Harry knew that his parents, his mother in particular, would protest heavily and was more than a little nervous about bringing it up. But not telling them made him feel guilty, which was much worse.
He was completely and totally grateful to his parents. When they had returned from the grave in the summer before his sixth year it had literally been nothing short of a miracle. The abuse that he had suffered at his uncle's hands had reached an all time high and Harry had been actually fearful that he would not survive. Then, they showed up with his godfather in tow and they had saved him from that hellish prison. And now, the fact that he was hiding something from them made his insides squirm.
As he made his way down the hall way and toward the stairs, Harry stopped and looked at all of the photos lining the wall. He had learned in the last year that his mother loved to take pictures of the family and now their smiling faces lined the walls of nearly every spot in the house. He walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where he found his parents sitting at the table clearly waiting for him to come down to the table so they could eat. They smiled at him and he attempted to return it, even though it felt a bit forced.
"Are you feeling alright, love?" Lily asked him.
"I'm fine, mum," Harry responded. "I just feel, I don't know… numb, I suppose."
"That's normal," James explained. "Anyone would feel that way after witnessing something like that."
Harry offered a weak smile to his father and began slowly eating his mother's spaghetti. On any other day this would have been one of his favorite meals, but today it was as if his taste buds picked up on his mood and decided to go numb as well. He knew his parents would worry if he didn't eat though, so he made sure to get through the entire plate of food. The dinner was a quite affair and when Harry was finished he asked to be excused to go to bed.
"Of course, sweetie," his mother responded, sadly.
Harry stood, placed his dishes in the sink and climbed up the stairs to his room. He threw himself face first on the bed and tried get the grief and the guilt to stop. He sighed and fell into a fitful sleep without even changing his clothes.
The next day, Harry awoke under the covers in his pajamas. He couldn't remember changing though. He laid in bed for a while, before deciding that he had had enough. Laying around and feeling sorry for himself, he decided, was not going to bring Dumbledore back. And it definitely wouldn't bring Voldemort down. He needed to pull himself up and get serious. Besides he only had a limited amount of time with his parents before he set off to look for Horcruxes, so he might as well spend it well. He headed to the bathroom for and shower and after freshening up and getting dressed Harry went downstairs to have breakfast with his parents.
"Good morning," Harry smiled as he saw his mother in the kitchen near the stove. He gave her a swift kiss on the cheek before going to the refrigerator and pouring himself a glass of orange juice.
"Oh! Well, good morning," Lily replied, a little perplexed at her son's attitude change.
At that moment, James came into the room, yawning and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Good morning," he said groggily.
"Morning!" Harry chirped over his shoulder. "Orange juice?"
James looked up at his son, who had his back to him, and then shared a bewildered look with his wife, who shrugged. "Um, sure… That would be great, Harry."
Harry knew that he was confusing his parents and decided to put them at ease. "I decided that Dumbledore wouldn't have wanted me to be upset all the time. And he was always going on about love and family. I know that a war's coming…" he explained. "And I don't want to waste any of the time I have with my family by moping, okay?"
James blinked owlishly at his son as the boy turned to face him. Then he smiled and nodded. "Okay," he agreed.
"I think that's a wonderful idea, love," Lily chirped as she set pancakes on the table for breakfast.
Harry smiled at her as he sat down and began to fill his plate. As he ate he knew that the time had come to release his guilt as well.
"After breakfast, I'd like to talk to you guys about something."
"Oh, well okay," Lily replied, tilting her head to the side slightly in curiosity.
Harry smiled and turned his attention back to his meal. He missed the confused glance that his parents shared over his head. Breakfast went by much better than the previous meal. It was still extremely quiet but it was substantially less awkward. When it was over, the three of them headed to the living room to have their talk. Harry sat on the familiar couch and waited until parents were both sitting as well.
"What's this all about?" James asked once they were settled.
"I need to tell you something," Harry explained cautiously. "But I'm a little nervous as to how you're going to take it."
"Love, you can tell us anything!" Lily urged.
"I know," Harry replied. "But I also know that you aren't going to like this one bit."
"What is it, son?" James asked, thoroughly confused now.
Harry took a deep breath and then said, "I am not going back to Hogwarts next term."
There was a long pause before
"What?" Lily and James cried, flabbergasted.
"Ron and Hermione have decided not to as well."
"But, why?" Lily questioned. "I thought you loved Hogwarts."
"I do," Harry told her. "But, I have more important things to do."
"What do you mean?" James asked.
"Dumbledore left me a job to do. I can't go into detail, but it will destroy Voldemort."
"What do you mean he left you a job?" Lily cried. "You're not even seventeen yet! He can expect you to take care of something like this! It's totally unfair to ask this of you!"
"Mum, I know you don't like it. But like it or not I have to be the one to kill him. I have to. I can't let Dumbledore die in vain. I have to end this."
"So… What? You're just going to head off on some crazy adventure and you just expect your father and me to allow this. It's too dangerous, Harry!"
"I'm sorry, Mum. I'm not asking for permission. I'll be seventeen soon and after that I will be going. I just didn't want you to be in the dark."
"No, Harry, no!" Lily pleaded. Then she turned to her husband, who had his head bent and was staring at the floor. "James! Tell him! Tell him he can't do this! Tell him it isn't safe! Tell him!"
James looked up at his wife warily and sighed. "I don't think there is anything either of us can say, Lil. It looks like he has made up his mind."
"What?"
"Like he said, he's going to be seventeen soon and there won't be anything we can do to stop him." He turned to Harry. "I'm not going to pretend like this is what I want but I'm not going to challenge you either. I just want you to know that I'm always here if you need my help. And please, please promise to stay in touch as much as possible. So that we know if you're alive."
Harry nodded at him. Lily stood suddenly with tears welling up in her eyes. She spun on her heels and ran from the room. Harry made to go after her, but his father stopped him.
"Give her a moment," he explained. "This is really hard for her.
"I didn't mean for her to cry," Harry told him.
"I know Harry, but you are still her baby in her mind and the thought of losing you like this is really painful to her. Give her a little while and she'll come around."
Harry nodded and sighed as he plopped himself back onto the couch.
"I guess that's what you meant with the things you said in the kitchen this morning?" James asked him. "About wanting to spend as much time with us as possible?"
"Well yeah, I mean, I figure I don't have much time left. I'd probably go now if I was seventeen, but I'm not," Harry explained.
"Harry, I want you to know something," James said quietly. "No matter what happens, I will always love you, and I am very proud of you."
Harry felt tears prick at his eyes. "I love you too," he croaked against the sudden lump that had formed in his throat.
"Thank you for telling us about your plan."
A/N: Hey thanks for reading! Feel free to leave a Review!
