Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own MH and, ironicly enough, there aren't any pickles in my fridge. Go figure.

Masky sighed. The relentless petting of his face was distracting him from the show they were watching. "Hoodie, what are you doing?" he asked the person sitting beside him on the couch.

Hoodie stopped the petting and giggled. "The sideburns," he said, "they…they are so BEAUTIFUL. I must touch them!" he then continued to pet the side of Masky's face.

This explanation would not do for Masky. "Please," he said, "stop petting my face. You've touched the sideburns, so stop now. This is getting ridiculous."

Hoodie continued the petting.

This was war. Masky needed to fight back. There was only one way to do this.

"OPERATOR!" he called as loud as he could from behind his mask. Slenderman walked through the doorway, wearing a flour covered apron over his usual black business suit. Hoodie stopped petting Masky's sideburns immediately and looked straight at their boss.

"What?" he asked "Why can't you two get along for two minutes? I was making cookies!" he scolded them. It wasn't unusual for the two proxies to get under each other's skin, but why did they always drag him into it when he was baking? Baking was the way he relaxed after a long day of stalking Jay or Alex, and the Slenderman did not like when he was constantly interrupted.

Masky smirked under his mask. "Hoodie," he began, "well, hoodie ate all the pickles. There are no more, and the only store that sells the kind you like, boss, won't be open until Monday morning. I'm sorry."

Slender froze. "W-what? No…Pickles?" this could NOT be happening. First, his baking interrupted, now they wouldn't have pickles until Monday morning? No. nononononono. Unacceptable.

The Slenderman took a steadying breath. "Hoodie, you know the punishment for eating all the pickles and not replacing them." he said in a voice that was much too calm.

Hoodie inhaled sharply. He did know, and it was terrible. "Please, anything but that!" he begged. "Anything! I'll stalk Jay for you! I'll make dinner all week! Just please, not that!"

Slender shook his head. "No. You knew the consequences when you the all the pickles. So you must pay the price." He placed his hands on his hips. "Now, if that's all, leave me alone so I can finish making the cookies. They're shortbread, your favorite, Masky." He said as he turned toward the kitchen door. "you better get on it Hoodie, if you want to finish by Monday."

Hoodie scowled as he got up. "Well played," he whispered to Masky, "but I WILL pet your 'burns more. And I won't eat the last pickle again."

With that he turned on his heel and marched off to go get the hundreds of dirty suits that he would have to get dry cleaned. No telling how much it was going to cost, and his boss was unnaturally stinky. The worst part was that he didn't even remember eating the last pickle. Hoodie was going to get Masky back for ratting him out, and it was NOT going to be pretty.

Masky leaned back into the couch and turned up the volume. That last pickle had REALLY hit the spot, and he had gotten Hoodie to stop petting his face for a while. A day well spent.

Author's Notes: Aaaaaannd another Marble Hornets fanfic. Jeez I have no life. Oh well, I hope you enoyed my randomness and Masky's 'burns, because I know you love them XD

Yes, Slendy needs special pickles. Don't you?