Disclaimer: The characters you recognize belong to J.E. The song is Goodbye In Her Eyes by Zac Brown Band.
This is a one-shot song-fic from Joe Morelli's POV. Thank you Elena for suggesting the song. This one's for you.
Goodbye In Her Eyes
I got the call shortly after 2 p.m. and I raced to the scene. I needed to know if she was okay or if this was going to be the time I lost her for good. I screeched to a stop and was out of the car and scanning the area till my eyes landed on the person I most needed to see at this moment. I took off running and as I neared where she was sitting on the sidewalk she stood. I was vaguely aware that her gaze was still searching but I refused to credit what that meant. I reached her and enfolded her in my arms, closing my eyes and thanking God that he once again spared her. I leaned back and looked at her for several seconds before bending and taking her mouth with mine. I paid no attention to the fact there was something missing in her response to the kiss. I just knew at this moment I had my world in my arms.
I could tell that it was over
When her lips met mine
It was an emptiness in her voice
Hesitation when she smiled
She didn't have to say a word
It was just so plain to see
She had found what she'd been looking for
And I knew it wasn't me
I was vaguely aware that several black SUV's had pulled up and men were spilling out of them fanning in all directions. I felt Stephanie stiffen in my arms and push back a little. I looked down to see she was looking towards the newcomers. I turned and clenched my jaw as I saw Manoso home in on the woman in my arms and start walking over towards us. Stephanie stepped back and as much as I wanted to refuse to let her go, I recognized I needed to let her go. Her gaze was on Manoso and there was a certain something in her gaze as she looked at him that I knew was missing when she looked at me. Suddenly, she turned my way and I felt a sudden loss that nearly had me falling to my knees. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was an ending.
I saw goodbye in her eyes
I don't think I can change it
There's no way to disguise
We will never make it
As I watched Ranger near, I was suddenly aware of the other cops and firefighters on the scene. How I must look to them. After all, everyone knew Stephanie was my girlfriend. We were meant to be together. Everyone knew it…everyone it seemed except Stephanie and Manoso. They were making me look like a fool.
Sometimes I feel like a clown
Who can't wash off his make-up
All she wanted it was gone
Prince Charming I wasn't
But I would trade a thousand Babylons
To be in her arms tomorrow
But like tide her love has come and gone
And it's time for me to go
I looked into Stephanie's eyes and I could see it there for all to see. All you had to do was look and it was obvious where her feeling lie. Why didn't I see it before? I wondered if everyone else knew this long ago and was just humoring me when I talked about my future with Cupcake. How long had they known I didn't stand a chance?
I saw goodbye in her eyes
I don't think I can change it
There's no way to disguise
We will never make it
Is that why I've been avoiding the hard questions? I'd heard the rumors about them behind the bonds office. I had my suspicions that she'd been with Manoso. When we got back together after the Abruzzi mess she seemed to be hesitant about the physical side. I put it down as just her reacting to everything she'd been through. I guess maybe I didn't want to know. Even now, I knew it didn't matter at all that she'd been with Manoso. I was still willing to keep on going and not look back. I still wanted her with me. If I could just get her away from him so I could show her what we could have.
Now she sees right through me
Should I hold on to what we've got
Is it just a waste of time
One thing that I know for sure
I saw goodbye in her eyes
I saw goodbye in her eyes
I turned and took a long look at her. I saw the way her face lit up when she saw Manoso. When he wrapped her in his arms she closed her eyes ad there was a look of being home on her face. My heart clenched as I was forced to watch her with him….knowing I would give anything to have what he had with her. In that moment it was obvious where her heart belonged. For the first time I got why he was always there in the background where ever we went. He wasn't waiting for me to mess up. He was waiting for her to realize just how much they could have and finally choose him. She'd told me Manoso claimed he wasn't marriage material. Looking at them now, I knew he wanted her to choose him regardless of the fact they might not have a long future. If she was willing to accept a relationship regardless of knowing it might not last forever, then she would be strong enough to deal with life if anything ever happened to him and he was no longer there.
I know you got somebody new now
All my candles have burned out
He's gonna love the way you shine
So did I
So don't smile at me if it ain't what you need
With that goodbye in your eyes
I know that I can't change it
Somehow I had the feeling if it weren't for Manoso I would never have had the past year or so. Things changed after Abruzzi. I'd always thought they'd been together during that time. Hell, Manoso was willing to kill Abruzzi for what he'd done to her. As much as I loved her, I couldn't have done what he did. It was all I could do to let it lie instead of looking beneath the surface of the suicide. Only my love for her held me back from looking at it as anything more.
(Know you see right through me)
There's no way to disguise
We will never make it
I saw goodbye in your eyes
I know that I can't change it
(Now you see right through me, goodbye!)
So here I was and I had to decide if I was going to hold on with everything in me, or if I was going to accept the inevitable and allow her to be happy. Not that I really have a choice. I can see it in her eyes when I look at her. She's ready to make that commitment. I can make it harder for her by making her feel guilty. I know just the right buttons to push. She's lived in the burg all her life after all and I can hold onto her for a while longer if I push those buttons.
Should I hold on
We will never make it
(Now you see right through me, goodbye!)
Should I hold on
Is it just a waste of time
One thing that I know for sure
I saw goodbye in your eyes
I saw goodbye in your eyes
I know that it's over
I look once more at her and I can see the love shinning in her eyes. My heart aches because I know that love isn't directed my way. I watch as she turns her face up to Manoso and the fist clenches around my heart as I see the way her face is lit up like a Christmas Tree with the love she feels for him. I can hold on…for a while longer. But in the end, it's inevitable. I turn and look around me and come to my decision. I step close to them and lean down and kiss Stephanie on the forehead. "Be happy Cupcake."
Stephanie looks up at me with a sad expression on her face, "I'm sorry Joe. I never meant to hurt you."
"I know Cupcake." I turned to Manoso, "But the heart wants what it wants." I straightened and held out my hand to Manoso. "Take care of her. If you hurt her I'll kick your ass."
Manoso glanced down at Stephanie and said, "You won't be the only one. But I have no intention of letting Stephanie get hurt." I watched as he caressed her cheek.
It took everything I had to smile, but I managed it, "You're a lucky man."
Manoso nodded, "I know."
I took one last look at Stephanie and turned to head back to my car. Carl stepped up to me just before I got in the car and motioned towards Stephanie. I shook my head and said, "Let it go man. She's where she needs to be."
As I sat in my car and watched, Manoso led Stephanie over to his SUV and helped her inside. I watched as they drove off into the afternoon sun and then put my car in motion and headed home where I could lick my pain in private. As I drove away I thought to myself, 'Be happy Stephanie. I love you Cupcake.'
Stephanie and Ranger lived happily ever after. Joe eventually met a woman he liked enough to marry. One day he realized he loved her more than he ever loved Stephanie. The Morelli's had three children. All of them girls and all of them just as adventuresome as Stephanie ever thought of being, which caused Joe more than one sleepless night.