Welcome to my new story everyone.
First to get the legal stuff out of the way I do not own DeGrassi.
This story is dedicated to Christlove88 who not only requested this idea but worked with me on the plots and timeline with immense dedication to help me bring this story to life. So a big a thank you to her because I might be writing it but she had the idea and worked diligently with me to get it plotted and published.
Important stuff to know before reading:
*This story is 100% A/U.
*Maya is Clare and Darcy's little sister in this story and the rest of the Matlin family doesn't exist.
*Drew is already dating Bianca and she is a year younger than Drew in this story.
*Clare never dated Eli but did date K.C. and he did leave her for Jenna.
*Fitz is also a year younger than Owen and Drew and in the same grade as Clare and Bianca.
*Alli's family moved away.
This is your one and only WARNING! This story is intense and dramatic! Christlove88 got the idea after reading Under the Surface and from a line Asher says to Clare in Her Unexpected Hero. This story contains many TRIGGER WARNINGS! Do Not Read if you are easily offended, if you could not stomach Under the Surface then this is not the story for you please read something else.
That being said there will also be some very tender moments, some fluff and eventually some smut. So please keep that in mind and I hope you enjoy it despite the intensity, drama and heartbreak of most of the content.
Ch. 1 Our Lives Shatter
(CLARE)
"CLARE WAKE UP WE HAVE TO GO TO THE STORE!"
I groan, not ready to be up so early, Jake bangs on our bedroom door again when I don't respond.
"Coming," I call back in a sleepy voice as I pull the covers off and sit up.
"What time is it?" Maya whines from her bed as she pulls the covers over her head.
I press the button on my phone to see the display, Sunday September 25, my phone says just above the time. "It's just past seven, go back to sleep Maya," I tell my little sister.
"I don't know why Jake can't go to the store by himself," she yawns.
"Because our stepbrother couldn't tell milk from yogurt," I respond in a sardonic whisper and Maya giggles.
I walk to our closet and look for something to wear, coming across what used to be my favorite church dress. I remember when we used to get up early on Sunday to go to church, but we haven't been to church in a long time. Dad ran off four years ago, just after Darcy left for Africa and dealing with the aftermath of her rape. Maya was only nine then and when Darcy began acting out Maya was sent to stay with our grandparents. I was twelve so they kept me around but I was pretty much invisible and left to my own devices as my parents were too busy dealing with Darcy. Luckily I wasn't invisible to everyone and several of Darcy's friends, including her ex-boyfriend Spinner, watched out for me and took care of me. Spinner even made sure I was put on birth control just in case I was ever to be raped. For two years things were okay and then two years ago Mom started dating Glen Martin. Glen and Jake did not attend church and Mom stopped taking us, it was only the first step in isolation and control for Glen.
"Took you long enough," Jake scolds after I'm dressed and ready to go.
"Sorry," I apologize.
I glance briefly at my mom; she's become so incredibly frail, hardly anything but skin and bone. I know she's sick, I don't know how sick or with what because Glen refuses to let her go to the doctor and Mom hasn't left the house in over a year. I know that Glen must see how she's sick yet he still forces her to keep house and sleep with him and he still beats her when anything goes wrong. They only dated a month before Jake and Glen moved in and a month after that is when Glen started hitting her and being verbally abusive to the three of us. Sometimes he hits me and Maya too but never Jake. Usually he only hits us when he's really angry or when Mom is unconscious and he can't take his anger out on her. He's careful though; we get hit on the palms of the hands, soles of our feet, backs or stomachs. Places that don't bruise or are covered by clothes and we learned very quickly not to try and say anything anymore. Mom tries to smile at me as Jake pulls me out the door but Glean slams his fist down on the table and Mom looks away.
Jake and I get in his truck and he starts driving, "Why do you wear clothes that cover so much? You should be showing off those nice big tits of yours," Jake remarks.
It's never been a secret that Jake was attracted to me, he's always looked at me with a carnal lust. I was hoping it would change after Mom and Glen got married but it didn't and in the last few months he's been looking at Maya the same way. He's never touched me, or Maya, but I know he wants to and I'm afraid it's only a matter of time. I shift uncomfortably and cover my chest with my arms.
"Can we stop at the Dot? I'm hungry," I request as I see the Dot approaching.
"Dad didn't say anything about feeding you I just have to take you to the store," Jake shrugs but he always takes me to the store, Glen thinks I might run or talk but I know better than to talk and I couldn't leave Mom or Maya.
"Please Jake I need some breakfast or at least coffee, aren't you hungry?" I prod knowing Glen must have woken him up early.
"Fine you go in and get it but don't talk to anyone except to order," he commands pulling up in front of the Dot. "Large coffee, two cinnamon rolls and a chocolate croissant for me, you can have a small hot chocolate," Jake tells me pulling out his wallet and handing me a $10. Jake always eats like a pig; he eats more than any teenage boy I know. He'll eat all that and then be hungry again in a couple hours. I start to get out of the car but Jake grabs my wrist, "I'll be watching you."
I get out of the car and walk across the street, Jake is always watching, Jake or Glen. Looking back I can see where our freedoms were taken away, how they started getting control but when it was happening we didn't see it until it was too late. It's early on a Sunday morning but there are still a few kids from school in the café.
"Hey Clare," Fitz smiles at me from behind the counter, "what can I get you?"
Fitz has been working at the Dot for about a year now, full time in the summer and part time during the school year. He goes to DeGrassi with me and he's in my grade, we've even got most of our classes together this semester. Fitz, like Bianca and Owen, had previously been a trouble maker and hung out at the ravine but last year the three of them had cleaned up their acts and were now…well good kids might be pushing it but they weren't trouble makers anymore. I didn't know Fitz that well but since Bianca had started dating Drew Fitz and Owen were at the Torres house a lot, and I was there as much as I could be since Drew's younger brother Adam was also my best friend.
"Hi Fitz, I need a large coffee, a small hot chocolate, a chocolate croissant and two cinnamon rolls," I tell him.
"That's $13.25," he says after ringing it up.
"Oh umm…" I bite lip nervously and look out the window at Jake as I hand Fitz the $10 Jake gave me.
"Don't worry about it I'll cover you," Fitz smiles taking the money and I release a breath smiling at him.
"Thanks, I'll pay you back Monday," I tell him as he grabs the donuts and starts making the coffee.
"Nah don't worry about it," he grins at me.
I smile back as he puts the cups in a tray and hands me the bag with the donuts. I walk out to the truck again and get in handing Jake his food.
"You shouldn't be smiling at other boys, they'll think you're cheap," Jake tells me in a calm but malicious voice.
"I was just being friendly," I dispute.
Jake doesn't say anything else just takes his coffee and starts driving again. He downs the pastries, shoveling them into his mouth and finishes the last one when we park at the grocery store. I'm still slowly sipping at my hot chocolate, Jake takes his coffee and we get out walking into the store. I grab a cart, Jake has the list and stays close to my side like always. We start walking through the store, I look at the list and get what we need, Jake holds the list and walks next to me. At least until he starts flirting with a store employee who's stalking melons and I turn down the cereal aisle. The cereal that Jake likes is on the top shelf, I'm only 5'2 and even standing on my tip toes I can hardly reach the bottom of the box. I stand on the bottom shelf and reach up, I start to fall back but I'm caught from behind and helped down.
"Need some help?" Owen asks reaching up to get the box of cereal I was trying to get.
Owen Milligan is a senior this year and good friends with Drew through Bianca. He's also a star athlete at our school, gets good grades and I've had a crush on him since last year. Not that it matters because Glen doesn't like us dating and I don't think Owen even notices me.
"Thanks Owen," I smile.
"No problem," he grins back, he has the best smile, I feel myself blushing and biting my lip.
Before I can say anything else Jake's arm comes around my shoulders tightly. "Hey Owen, good game on Friday," Jake says appearing to be friendly and a protective older brother but he's really just being possessive.
"Thanks well see you at guys at school Monday," Owen says waving as he walks away.
Jake waits until Owen walks away and then grips the back of the neck right at the base of the skull and presses hard. I hiss in a sharp breath, he squeezes a little harder and I bite my lip so I won't whimper in pain. Jake always squeezes there, it hides the bruises.
"What did I tell you about smiling at boys?! That's two this morning, maybe Maya should start coming shopping with me," Jake growls in a low whisper into my ear as he keeps a placid face so that all appears normal.
"No," I respond with a shaky whisper, the thought that he'd bring Maya scares me, she doesn't know what Jake is like on these trips and I'd like to keep it that way.
Jake releases my neck and stays right at my side while we're in the store. We get everything on the list and Jake gets a couple of extra things. He pays; we leave, load the groceries in the car and Jake drives home. When we bring the groceries into the house I can hear Glen in their bedroom hitting mom. I bite my lip and swallow the tears, I can hear mom's painful cries and then it stops while Glen berates her for not properly mopping the floor. I don't see Maya but I'm sure she's hiding in our room; she usually does when Glen starts hitting Mom. Jake and I bring in the rest of the groceries and start putting them away before Glen comes down stairs.
"Everything go okay?" Glen asks Jake.
"Clare was flirting with a couple of guys from school," Jake tells him.
"I wasn't flirting, I smiled to be nice," I argue.
"No one was speaking to you Clare," Glen barks at me slamming his hand on the counter. "What have I told you about flirting? No one likes a slut Clare, you know better than to flirt. Go clean the washrooms and then do the laundry and no laptop for two weeks as punishment for flirting," Glen tells me.
"How am I supposed to do my homework?"
"DON'T TALK BACK!" Glen yells grabbing my wrist, he holds it firm but not too tight so it want bruise.
Then he takes a metal ladle from the crock on the counter and spreading my palm out face up he hits it hard with the ladle! I scream out in pain, my hand throbbing and red, a sharp pain radiating from the center. Jake starts laughing and Glen releases me shoving me to the stairs reminding me to clean the washrooms. I hold my hand to my chest and go upstairs, fighting back the tears that are trying to break free.
"Did he hit you?" Maya asks when I come in our room and find her hiding on her bed.
"My hand, with the ladle again, stay in the room he's in one of his moods," I tell my sister as I start changing into sweats so I can clean the washrooms.
"He's always in one of his moods now," Maya says.
"I know, just stay in the room unless he calls for you," I assert slipping on an old t-shirt.
"I tried looking for Darc again this morning, I e-mailed the last address we had for her," Maya tells me.
"That e-mail doesn't work anymore, we haven't heard from Darcy in over two years, for all we know she's dead. Darcy can't help us Maya, just stay in the room he's angry and I don't know what he'll do. Hide out, I'll try and say you went to Tristan's or something," I tell Maya.
She nods and I leave our room closing the door behind me, I grab the bucket and cleaning supplies from the closet and go into Mom's room to clean their washroom first. Mom's lying on the bed, she looks unconscious and I can see bruises all over her face and arms! I wipe away the tears from my face and cover Mom with a blanket before going into the washroom to clean.
(MAYA)
"Maya, wake up you have to get ready for school," Clare says shaking me after the alarm goes off Monday morning.
"I'm up," I groan pulling the covers off. Clare's already dressed; she must have been up for a while. "When did you get up?" I ask her as I go to my dresser and pick out some clothes.
"A couple hours ago, Mom isn't feeling well and Glen woke me up to make breakfast," she tells me.
I get clothes and start getting dressed while Clare gathers our books and backpacks. "Jake's in the washroom and I have to pee," I complain after opening our door and seeing the washroom door closed.
"Use Mom's, Glen's downstairs I'll make sure he stays," Clare tells me trying to pick up her backpack and then wincing when her hand hurts.
"Thanks, how's your hand?" I ask her.
"It's fine, just a little sore, you better go use the washroom I'll make sure Glen stays downstairs," Clare says and I leave our room.
Mom's room is dark when I enter and Mom appears to be sleeping. I use her washroom and go back out to her room, she sounds like she's breathing funny and I sit on the edge of her bed brushing her hair out of her face.
"Hey Baby," Mom smiles at me but her smile is weak and she starts coughing.
"Mom are you okay?" I ask trying not to cry.
"I'm fine Baby I just need to rest," Mom assures me lifting her hand to cup my face.
"Mom you don't look good, you should go to the doctor," I plead with her.
"No I just need to rest, you know Glen doesn't like us to go to the doctor," Mom argues weakly.
"Mom we can't keep living like this, you're sick and he still beats you, we can go to the cops, we can leave," I plead with her.
"Maya you know we can't, we have nowhere to go, we have no one Baby. Your father left us, we have no family. You remember what happened when I tried to call the cops before; Glen knows most of the cops in this precinct. I'll be okay Baby I just need to rest and you need to get to school," Mom tells me, she kisses my forehead and I leave the room.
I do remember when she tried to call the cops; it was right after Glen hit her for the first time. The cops came and Glen had gone to high school with one of them, he and Jake told the officers that he was fighting with Mom and she hit him with a pan, then he grabbed her wrists to get her to stop and she slipped hitting her face on the dresser. Glen pressed charges and our mom spent the night in jail! Without Mom home to stop him he spent the rest of the night telling me and Clare how terrible we were and how awful our mother is. When Mom got home the next morning Glen beat her so bad she couldn't leave her bed for almost a week. Clare and I had to do all the housework and cooking, Clare did as much as she could but Glen was treating her more like Mom that week and he hit her a few times. It was the first time he hit her and he wasn't careful, she had bruises but she covered them with clothes and makeup. Miss Dawes saw one of her bruises though and came to the house. We all told her what Glen told her, that Clare slipped on the stairs and of course Miss Dawes believed it because Glen acted like everything was normal and he cared. Miss Dawes never saw Mom, Glen never yelled or raised his voice and as far as Miss Dawes was concerned everything was fine. After that no one was ever allowed to come to the house and no one's been to the house since. Glen was real mad after Miss Dawes left; he took Clare up to our room and yelled at her for over an hour. He hit her again but was careful about where and how, she had bruises for a couple of weeks but no one else saw them. He wouldn't let us go out after that or do much of anything unless it was a school function or a party for one of his clients where we were told to act normal. Mom never came with us, Glen always had an excuse ready though and he always made us rehearse it in the car. And as far as the rest of the world was concerned we were a happy family.
"You got five minutes to eat breakfast," Jake tells me when I leave Mom's room.
When I go downstairs Clare is at the table with Glen, Jake and I sit at the table and eat quickly before we leave for school. Jake drives us to school in his truck, he always drives us, Clare is sixteen and she could be driving her but Glen didn't let her get her license, he doesn't let us do anything. If she got her license and could drive then he couldn't control where she goes and I think he's more afraid of her running then going to the cops, which is stupid cause I know Clare wouldn't leave me and Mom the way Dad and Darcy did.
Jake keeps looking at Clare's legs and her breasts, her skirt goes down to her knees and her chest is totally covered by her top but he's still looking. He shouldn't be looking at her like that, she's his stepsister and I know what he's thinking about her and he shouldn't be. I think if I didn't share a room with Clare he'd come into her room at night and do things, or maybe it's Glen that keeps him out. Jake parks at the school and the three of us walk in together; at least he leaves us when he goes to his locker.
"Mom doesn't look good Clare, she was so weak when I went in this morning," I tell her.
"I know, she wouldn't let me do anything to help her, she kept telling me she needed to rest. I'm going to try and go home at lunch to check on her and get her to eat something," Clare tells me.
"How are you going to manage that with Jake constantly watching us?" I question.
"I don't know," she admits.
"If you manage to get home then I want to come with you, I'm really worried about Mom," I tell her.
"Okay, I'll meet you at lunch, you should get to your locker and get your books before he comes looking for us again," she says to me.
I nod and walk toward my locker. Tris and Zig, my best friends, are at their lockers and they smile at me.
"Hey Maya," Tris says closing his locker.
"Hi guys," I reply opening my locker.
"You missed a great movie this weekend," Zig tells me, they had invited me to a movie this weekend but of course Glen wouldn't let me go.
"Sorry it was family time since Glen didn't have to work this weekend," I lie.
We talk a little as I get out my books, then start heading for our class. We get to English class and sit at our desks; they begin telling me about the movie. All I can think about while they're talking is hoping that Mom is going to be okay.
(CLARE)
"Are you eating lunch with me and Eli?" Adam asks when the bell rings for lunch.
Eli is my other best friend and we're affectionately known around school as The Misfits.
"I have to go meet Maya," I tell Adam and he nods.
I find my sister at her locker with Zig and Tris; she's putting away books and tells Zig and Tris she's eating with me. She closes her locker and we start walking for the front doors but then Jake appears in front of us just before we reach the front doors.
"Where do you two think you're going?" Jake asks.
"We're eating outside, it's such a nice day out and we didn't get out all weekend," I tell him.
Jake looks like he's about to say no but then he watches Fitz, Owen, Drew and Bianca going outside and for whatever reason he says okay. Jake has our lunches; he always has our lunches to keep us from eating too much. We go outside and sit at the picnic table across from Bianca and the others; Jake gives me a banana and Maya a yogurt while he starts eating a large sandwich. I don't remember when exactly but I figured out once that Glen and Jake feed us enough to get us through the day and keep us from being malnourished because that would attract attention. Last year my breasts came in and Glen started feeding me more fat around my period, which I came to realize was because my breasts grew the more weight I put on, I tended to put on weight around my period. Not that I'm fat mind you, we have too many chores and we don't eat enough but I've become, as Glen puts it, voluptuous.
Maya turns to me and whispers very softly, "Go." She's telling me to find a way to sneak home because we can't both go.
"I have to use the washroom," I say and Jake looks at me but he keeps glancing at Bianca's table.
Jake just nods and I get up going into the school, then I run through the school and out the back door that leads to the football field. Then I run through field and through the ravine until I come out two blocks from home. I know Jake will realize I'm missing and be angry but I have to check on Mom. When I get home I see Glen's truck there, I don't think he usually comes home for lunch so I'm worried about what he's doing here. The front door is unlocked and as soon as I have the door open I hear him hitting Mom. She was already so weak I don't think she can take anymore. I slam the door and run in, Mom is crumpled on the floor next to the sofa and Glen is kicking her.
"YOU WORTHLESS WHORE CAN'T EVEN MAKE A LUNCH! LOOK AT YOU YOU'RE PATHETIC! UGLY AND FRUMPY! YOU'RE LUCKY I'M WITH YOU, NO OTHER MAN WOULD EVER WANT YOU!"
Mom coughs up blood and I run over grabbing onto Glen without thinking but I just want him to stop!
"STOP IT! LEAVE HER ALONE!" I scream at him pulling him away.
Glen turns his anger on me and grabbing my shirt lifts me up tossing me into the bookshelf on the opposite wall! I hit with a crash and fall to the floor as Mom very weakly tries to say my name and coughs up some more blood. I start crying, not from the pain I'm in but because I'm worried about my mom.
"You get your ass up and make me some lunch," Glen orders Mom and then he grabs my shirt again standing me up. "You little shit you have to get back to school," he tells me in a malicious voice as he releases my shirt and grabs the back of my neck squeezing hard just where Jake was doing so yesterday. We walk out of the house and he pushes me into his truck. "You know better than to leave school, I expect this behavior from Maya but not from you. There will be severe consequences for this Clare; I don't know what yet but I have the rest of the day to think of a fitting punishment. Now you get back to lunch and you stay and come straight home after school."
"Mom needs a doctor," I plead wiping my tears as he parks near the school but not so close that people can see us.
"You're mom needs to do as she's told and let me make this very clear, if you breathe a word of what you saw at home to anyone I'll make you regret it and I'll make Maya regret it as well."
I bite my lip and take a shuddering breath but I know these aren't idle threats. If we even try to talk then his anger will turn to us, Mom is too weak to protect us and we have nowhere to go. I nod slowly and get out of the truck, walking the short distance back to school and forcing a smile on my face. Owen watches me as I walk past their table, probably wondering where I went. I sit down next to Maya again, letting my smile fall now that my back is to everyone and she knows it's worse.
"Where the fuck have you been?" Jake questions in a low voice.
"I went home to check on Mom," I reply.
"You did what?" He growls a little louder and a couple grade 10's walking by our table look over.
"Glen was home, he was beating Mom again," I say.
"What?" Maya breathes.
"You two better shut up, lunch is over get inside," Jake commands.
I'm not hungry anymore anyway so I take Maya's hand and we go inside. I take her upstairs to the girl's washroom, checking to be sure no one is around and as soon as the door is closed Maya starts crying.
"Clare what are we going to do? He was beating her again and she was already so weak," Maya wails.
I would give anything to tell my little sister that it will be okay and we'll get through this but I just can't. Truth is I don't think it will be okay, not sure that it will ever be okay again.
"I don't know Maya, I wish I did but I just don't know," I reply in a disheartened tone as I turn around and lift my shirt to see my back in the mirror. I'm already getting bruises from hitting the bookshelf.
"What did he do to you?" Maya questions rushing over to look at my back.
"He threw me into the bookshelf," I reply and she starts crying more.
"I'm okay Maya, it's just bruises, worry about Mom, not me. Come on lets go get our books and I'll take you to class," I tell my sister.
She washes her face and we leave the washroom walking downstairs again, we go to her locker and I take her to her class. My next class is art and I don't need my books for that, we still have a few minutes before the bell but I go into the classroom and sit at my table putting my head down on my arms.
"Clare? You okay?" Bianca questions putting a hand on my back, hitting some of the bruising and I flinch in pain.
Bianca takes her hand away and I look up to see not only her but Drew, Fitz and Owen giving me a worried look. They all have the class with me but we don't usually talk unless it's for the current assignment.
"I'm fine, just not feeling well," I tell them
"Where'd you go at lunch?" Owen asks me as he sits in his seat.
"Nowhere," I reply because I can't think of anything else to say.
"We saw you run through the football field," Drew says.
Suddenly the image of mom cowering by the sofa, bruised, bloody and looking an inch from death comes flooding into my mind and I really do feel sick. "Excuse me," I say quickly getting up and rushing to the girl's washroom with Bianca following. After vomiting in the sink I rinse my mouth and Bianca stands behind me holding my hair.
"Come on, I'll take you to the nurse," Bianca says when I'm done and I nod.
Bianca walks me to the nurse and tells her I threw up; the nurse asks if I want to go home and I shake my head so she tells me to lie down. Bianca tells me to feel better and leaves, when she's gone I curl on my side facing the wall and start sobbing silently. The nurse lets me be probably just figuring I don't feel well. I decide not to go to French either as I'm still crying so I just keep lying in the nurses office. Just before the bell rings for the end of the day I leave the nurses office and grab my books from my locker then go to Maya's class to get her. When the bell rings she leaves class and I can tell she's been trying not to cry all day. Without a word we go out to the steps and when Jake comes out we get in his truck. All I can think about is getting home to check on Mom and praying that she's okay. As soon as Jake parks the truck Maya and I jump out and rush through the front door, Glen's truck is still here and when we get in I see him sitting in the arm chair looking at Mom who is now lying on the sofa.
"Mom," I cry rushing over to her with Maya just behind me. We fall to our knees; I pick up her hand as Maya lays her head on Mom's chest and begins crying. "She's so cold," I comment feeling her hand and realizing I don't feel a pulse!
"She's dead," Glen says with absolutely no emotion in his voice.
"What?" I breathe out.
"NO!" Maya screams gripping Mom's dress, "No she can't be dead!"
"STOP YOUR SNIVELING," Glen yells, we both flinch and swallow our tears as best we can but only out of fear. "Your worthless mother is gone, she's dead none of your crying is going to bring her back! Now shut up! Both of you get a sheet to wrap her body," Glen orders.
"We have to call the cops," I say between choking back tears.
"We what?" Glen snarls grabbing me by my hair and yanking hard! "No one is to know that she is dead, no one outside of this house can ever know that that bitch died! When it's dark we're going to bury her in the backyard now go get a fucking sheet to wrap her body!"
Glen pushes me away; Maya is hysterical and can't move. I on the other hand am terrified and I run to the closet getting out a sheet. I try to hand it to Glen but he won't take it, he just pushes it back at me.
"You two wrap her body, Jake get some duct tape," Glen commands, his voice is so eerily calm it gives me the chills. He killed our mom, his wife and he doesn't even care and all he wants to do about it is bury her in the backyard so that nobody ever knows.
Maya can hardly breathe she's crying so hysterically and she's clinging to Mom. I try to pull at her but she won't let go of Mom.
"No no no no Mom you can't be dead!" Maya just repeats over and over.
"CONTROL HER OR I WILL!" Glen yells kicking the coffee table violently.
Afraid of what Glen will do to Maya I have to rip her away from Mom. "Maya stop or Glen will hurt you," I whisper hugging her tightly.
Maya sniffles and stops crying aloud but curls up and sobs silently on her knees. Glen barks at me to wrap Mom up and I spread out the sheet. Then pulling my mom's cold lifeless body of the sofa I try to lower her gently but she falls with a hard THUD and I start crying hard again. Glen yells at me to shut up but I just can't, I fold the sheet over my mom in a shroud. When she's covered, I hear Jake unrolling the duct tape from the roll, the tape sounds like it's screaming and it's the most horrible, terrifying sound I've ever heard.
Update next Sunday from right about here and burying Helen.