So this is just an idea that wouldn't leave me be, so I will now dump it on all of you so I don't have to deal with it alone!
SPOILERS: Up to 5x24 "Watershed"
DISCLAIMER: I don't know Beckett's answer… P.S. The real owners do.
...
Beckett shifted in the swing as a gust of wind gathered up her hair and she blinked, realizing she had been silently gaping at Castle for what probably felt like twenty weeks to the poor guy.
She closed her mouth, pressing her lips together tightly. "Castle…"
His eyelids dropped ever so slightly in defeat, but he held the ring steadily in his hand as he kneeled on the grass in front of her.
She lifted herself off the swing and came to kneel in front of him. He lifted his eyes to meet hers eventually, and she gave him a sensitive smile. "Are you asking me this question out of love or out of fear?"
"Both", he admitted. "Probably for the same reason I've saved your life at least ten times."
"And if your two ex-wives had ever asked you that when you proposed to them, what would your answer have been then?" Beckett asked with a slightly raised eyebrow.
Castle sighed, feeling the biggest fool in the world. "The same."
She nodded slowly. "Castle, I'm not going to D.C. I turned down the job."
His eyes snapped back to hers as he straightened his deflated frame. "What? Kate, that… I thought you said this was an opportunity too good to pass up."
"I know that's what I said but then I was in the precinct interrogating Martin Tillage and I realized I already have so much of what I want."
Castle's face softened as she smiled one of those wistful smiles that showed more in her eyes than on her lips.
"I entered the force because a member of my family was murdered, but then, as the years progressed, I found myself gaining a whole new family. First Royce and Montgomery, Ryan, Espo, Lanie, heck even Gates if we can call it slightly dysfunctional. And of course, you."
Castle wasn't even sure who initiated it, but somehow her hand ended up in his.
"And my Mom is not here, and she never will be again. And there comes a point when I have to realize that I will never have everything that I want, because I will never get her back. But I've said it before, when you came into the precinct that day five years ago, you changed everything in small but powerful ways. You made the job more bearable, you made the boys more entertaining, and you made me… well, that's it… you made me… you made me the person I am today, and this person that I am now is a lot different from the one I was back then. She's a happier, freer version of the one you first met all those years ago, and despite the occasional bout of self doubt and moronic decision making, she is getting better."
Castle squeezed Beckett's hand lightly as the tears clouded her green eyes.
"But she's not there yet. She still has a little way to go, and if you are willing to be patient with her and give her the same generous time and perseverance you've been giving her for… quite some time now", she smiled a little sheepishly. "I think you'll find it's gonna pay off."
She paused, gauging his reaction, before adding lightly "After all, we do make a pretty good team, don't you think?"
Castle chuckled a little sardonically, waving the ring in the air slightly. "Obviously."
Beckett closed her eyes tightly, making a face as she internally scolded herself.
She took his right hand which held the ring, in her own and said to him. "This is not a 'no' Castle, OK?"
She released his right hand and reached around to his pants pocket where she found the box the ring had initially been in. It was black velvet with a blue interior silk lining, it was from an exclusive, and expensive jewelry store.
"So you keep this safe for me", she told him as she opened the box and placed the ring delicately inside.
She saw Castle wince, and swallowed back her regret.
"And…someday. Someday, if you ask again, without fear factoring into the equation at all… well… " She smiled widely at him and he let out a breath he'd been holding since her arrival, only barely smiling in return.
Her face fell again at his disappointment and she opened her mouth to say something just as her phone began to buzz in her pocket.
She released his left hand, muttering "sorry" before pulling out her phone.
"Beckett… Yeah... OK, I'll be there soon." She turned off her phone and caught Castle's eye. She looked at him hesitantly, apologetically.
"Case?" He asked dully.
"Yeah", she confirmed, standing up from the grass.
He raised his eyes to hers and just as quickly tore them away, sensing the awkwardness of their positioning.
Beckett inhaled a deep breath and then painted on a smile for him, offering him her hand.
"You coming?"
Castle carefully pocketed the ring in his front shirt pocket and took her hand. "Of course", he said simply, and they walked back to her car, both consciously ignoring the gravity of what had just happened.
…
Beckett stopped the car outside a dingy apartment building in the Bowery.
Castle followed behind her as she flashed her badge to the uniform who was stationed outside the door. "It's all down in the basement", he informed her.
Her eyes travelled wearily down the stone steps that began at pavement pavement level and ended in darkness too far down to properly see.
"Thanks", Beckett replied to the uniform and tilted her head toward Castle, signifying that he could follow her.
The pair made their way down the steps and when they reached the bottom, Kate opened the door and stepped through, holding it open so Castle could enter the room too.
The basement was cold and smelled of dirt and cleaning products, which had been used to cover up the smell of dirt.
It was dark and mainly empty, except for the bloody body that consumed the space near the centre of the room, and the medical examiner who hovered over it.
Beckett acknowledged Esposito with the raise of an eyebrow as he moved over to her. "Quick change over huh?"
"Yeah, was just dotting the last 'i' on the case. Sorry to have to call you in, Gates instructed. I didn't interrupt anything important, did I?" The Latino Detective asked Beckett with a kind but intensive stare.
Beckett shook her head. "No, it's fine. It'll keep."
Esposito let it go then and nodded in the direction of Lanie and the body. "Well, unlike our John Doe, who probably won't keep in this state for any more than an hour or two, so you might want to get your info from Lanie."
"Right, thanks Espo", Beckett said before kneeling down on the opposite side of the body. The detective's eyes scoped the body in front of her. When they met those of the medical examiner, her brow furrowed, noting the look of concern on her friend's face.
"Lanie, are you ok?"
The M.E didn't mince words. "What's going on with you and Castle?"
Kate cursed silently at Lanie's scarily brilliant insight .
"Um, can we talk about that later? It's kind of an unresolved issue between us, but we're fine, I promise you… we're still good", she turned on her heel and attracted the attention of her partner.
Castle stood by the door of the basement still, he was talking quietly to Esposito but he peeled his eyes away from the man to gaze intently at Beckett.
She swallowed at the look of pain on his face, and wondered to herself if she had been right in dismissing his proposal, in doubting his intention. Perhaps he was proposing, in part, out of fear, but just because they were getting engaged it didn't mean they had to get married right away. She told him to ask her again, meaning it was inevitable, explaining that she felt they needed to work more on their relationship before they could solidify it completely, but maybe being engaged would motivate them to try harder, providing them with more of a purpose and direction.
Beckett's heart thumped a little harder at the thought of setting and working toward a date.
She smiled at Lanie who returned the expression in spite of her gut feeling.
"So, tell me about our vic", Beckett requested and Lanie began a description of what had happened to the young man in front of them. He had three bullet holes in his back, and had bled out over the course of more than 3 days. Adding to that, he was lying underneath a leak in the ceiling of the basement, so his body was in pretty bad shape.
"That's all I can tell you at the moment sweetie. I'll know more about the bullets when I get this guy back to the lab."
"OK, thanks Lanie. And hey, I'll call you later, I promise", Beckett smiled sincerely at her friend who raised an eyebrow. "You'd better girl, you know I'm looking out for you and I would be pretty damn upset if my best friend didn't think she could-"
Lanie's good-humored rant was cut off short by the sound of several loud cracks echoing through the basement, followed by chorus of panicked shouting.
Beckett and Lanie both ducked, Beckett reached for her gun reflexively, gasping as a man in a hoodie, who had been shot, fell forward from the dark nook behind Lanie.
The room was silenced and stilled then for just a moment, until Esposito called out. "Kate!"
Beckett turned around quickly, her fear following the sound of the gun shots turning into an inquisitive and reactive form of adrenaline.
And then the fear returned in full force as she was confronted with the reason behind Esposito's panic.
Castle was lying flat on his back, just in front of the door of the basement.
"No", the word fell brokenly out of Beckett's mouth as she somehow made her way over to him.
His body was pitching and struggling as he lay there, fighting shock and pain.
Esposito had shot the man who had been laying in wait, unbeknownst to the police force, but the attack had only come after the man in the shadows had shot Castle.
"Castle", Beckett breathed shakily, framing his paling face in her hand "Rick", tears spilled from his eyes as he tried desperately to take proper breaths.
"Breathe Rick, try, I know it's hard but try… God! Lanie help, help him."
"Here, here", Lanie rushed over carrying a handful of gauze. Esposito shifted so that she could move in between him and Beckett.
Lanie applied pressure to Castle's wound which was situated dangerously close to his heart. It stopped the rapid flow of blood but did not prevent Castle from seeking the sweet oblivion of unconsciousness.
"Castle, hey. Open your eyes, Castle!" Castle's eyes flicked open and closed as Beckett's voice encouraged him.
"The paramedics will be here soon so you stay awake, OK? You stay with me and you keep fighting."
Castle gaped, tears streaming down his face as he failed to inhale.
"Come on", Beckett cried through gritted teeth. "You have to stay here, you can't… You have to be here Castle, do you know why?"
She tilted her head so that his eyes were forced to meet hers.
"Because you're going to marry me. Because we're going somewhere Rick, I don't know how long it's going to take, but I know that there's no one I want to spend the time getting there with."
Castle eyes opened wider than she'd seen them since she'd come to his side.
"And I don't know what the end will look like, but I know that it's not this. This is not our ending yet."
Beckett knew Lanie and Esposito were staring at the two of the them with slack jaws but she didn't much care, all she cared about was Castle's survival, and having the opportunity to be true to her promise.
Because she wanted to marry him. Because love makes one afraid.
She felt there couldn't be any two better reasons to marry someone.
…
Castle was rushed to the emergency room, Lanie and Beckett rode along with him.
They went as far as they were allowed to go with him until he was wheeled into theater and the women stood, shell shocked for a moment, in the middle of the triage corridor.
"Come on sweetie, you should sit down", Lanie took Beckett by the arm and pulled her gently to a nearby row of plastic seats.
"I feel like I'm going to be sick", Beckett shuddered. Lanie stroked a soothing hand up and down her friend's arm. "What am I going to tell Martha and Alexis?"
"Hey, this is Castle. When have you ever known him to give up? Heck, he was persistent enough with you for four years, and look where it got him", she smiled, trying to cheer Beckett up.
The detective let a small line of happiness grace her lips before she turned to Lanie, swallowing thickly. "He proposed to me, you know? Just before we got the call to come to the scene."
"I kind of figured, what with your sudden announcement that you wanted to be Mrs. Castle. I have never heard so much conviction in your voice. And that's saying something, because girl, when you want to make your point…"
Beckett shook her head. "He asked me to meet him, we both agreed we needed to talk… I thought he was going to break up with me. I thought he had finally had enough, and that he was done." Her voice cracked and she balled her hand into a fist, wiping it over her face.
"I've been so wrong, Lanie, and I don't understand why he's put up with me all this time."
"Yes you do, because he loves you, Kate Beckett. Because he would go through the heartache and the secrets and the stubbornness that you've given him just to be able to ask you to be his, a million times over. If he thought you'd say yes."
Beckett shut her eyes tightly. "I didn't say yes. I turned him down at first."
"Oh Kate", Lanie rolled her eyes. "OK, but he knows now, right? He knows that you really do want to marry him, that you were probably just a little shocked by him asking."
"So many things were running through my mind. I still have so many doubts about myself, and I just couldn't bear it if this thing failed."
"Well then I guess you just have to ask yourself, do you love him enough to ensure that that is never going to be an option?"
Beckett looked into Lanie's earnest eyes and contemplated her question seriously.
Kate Beckett had only ever failed at one thing in her life. And it wasn't until Richard Castle came along, and fell into a steady and assuring rhythm, by her side, that she had finally found success.
…
Three hours later, after Beckett had spoken to Martha and had tried to reach Alexis, hearing no word from the young woman, as she was probably boarding her plane at this very moment, the Detective was waiting anxiously in the waiting room where she and Lanie had shifted after being ushered out of the triage corridor by medical staff.
"Detective Beckett?" The surgeon who had been performing the surgery on Castle called her over and after sharing a quick look with Lanie, she walked across the waiting room to meet him.
"How's Castle?"
"He lost a lot of blood, we managed to tamper it down during surgery though, and no vital arteries were hit."
"But he's going to be OK?"
The surgeon smiled. "He's going to be OK."
Beckett sighed a huge sigh of relief, wrapping her arms around herself.
"The bullet's trajectory was slowed down as it entered the body, and I think that might have something to do with this", he held up the box that contained the engagement ring Castle had held in front of her a few hours earlier.
Beckett clapped a hand over her mouth, tears springing to her eyes.
The box was ripped apart, the contents inside - mangled. The ring was twisted and bent, but the perfect diamond still sparkled.
The ring had possibly saved Castle's life.
His love for her had saved him.
Beckett took the box from him and thanked him. "Am I able to see him?"
"Family members only at this time", the surgeon told her.
Beckett held up the deformed ring. "I'm his fiance."
The surgeon's face broke out into a knowing grin. "Go on in."
With one final enigmatic look back at Lanie, who was beaming through tears of her own, Beckett made her way quickly down the length of the hospital to where the intensive care unit was.
Beckett found Castle's room and took a deep breath before entering.
She opened the door quietly as he had been told he had been drifting in and out of sleep, and didn't want to wake him.
She stepped up to his bedside and felt a jolt of pain run through her. She placed a warm, soothing hand to her own bullet wound scar as she surveyed the nearly identical one on him.
He must have sensed her presence as his eyes opened warily. "Kate?"
"Yeah, hey", she whispered, reaching over the bed railing to stroke his hand softly.
"I got shot?" He asked dopily and Beckett bit her lip. "Yeah, you did, but you're going to be OK. I promise."
"Well I would never doubt you", Castle replied. "Sit down, is there a chair?"
"Um, yeah there's a chair but I'd rather just stand here and hold your hand", she smiled at him, and her words sounded like a lovers caress.
He smiled weakly in return.
"How are you feeling?"
"Do I need to state the obvious?"
Beckett gave him a coy look. "No."
"Do Mother and Alexis know?"
"I tried to reach Alexis but her phone is off, she's probably already on the flight."
"Oh that's, that's good. I wouldn't want her to worry. It's probably for the best."
"I told your Mom though and she's on her way back from the Hamptons."
"That's less good", Castle sighed.
Beckett gave him a leveling look. "Now come on, be lenient on her, she'll be worried sick, just let her fuss over you a little when she gets here. It's horrible when something like this happens to someone you love."
"Yes, I know", he said to her and she felt terrible instantly.
"Can you get me some water please? My throat is drier than Bob Newhart's humor."
Beckett went released his hand and went around to the sink, picking a plastic cup off the top of it and filling it with water for him.
"So what happened, did they catch the son of a bitch who did this or what?"
Beckett placed his cup of water in his hand and then stilled while he drank. "Castle, you don't remember?"
"I remember the stairs to the basement, I remember talking to Esposito, and then I remember waking up here. I don't remember being shot, but it's probably for the best, it hurts like hell at the moment, can't imagine it felt too good when it happened."
"Um, well, you were shot by this guy, who it turns out was also the killer of our vic, and then before he could even think about shooting again, Esposito took care of him."
"Oh. So he's…"
"Yeah", Beckett said quickly.
"Well I can't say I'll be sending a wreath."
Beckett let a small chuckle escape her lips. "No, me neither."
"Sounds as if I'm pretty lucky to be alive then, huh?"
"Yeah well, can't say I'm too disappointed about it myself", she smiled shyly back at him.
Their eyes locked, the usual synergy and connection bouncing back and forth between the two of them.
"You know, it may not have been all down to luck. I believe fate may have played a part in it too."
Castle's eyebrow raised sleepily. "You, believing in fate? You sure I haven't slipped into a coma and am currently having some kind of weird, out-of-body experience? But no. Wait, I'm still in my body so that's-"
He paused his theorizing when Beckett produced the tattered ring box from her side pocket.
"Do you remember putting this in your shirt pocket when we left the park?"
Castle nodded. "Wow. I guess if that's not sending out a clear enough omen… Well, we'd be stupid if we couldn't read those signs."
Beckett's lips twisted. "Well, forgive me but I'm reading it a little differently. And I hope this ring didn't cost too much because it was… jaw-droppingly gorgeous and as soon as you get out of here, I want you to buy me a new one just like it."
Castle's face lit up, color returning to his cheeks, his heart steadily gaining rhythm on the vitals meter.
Beckett shrugged, placing the broken box on the bed next to him and taking his hand more firmly in her own. "After all, when have you or I ever been good at reading the signs?"
…
So yes, odd / cheesy title (I try to be clever with these things, but am not always successful.)
Reviews are a girl's best friend :D