Disclaimer: I do not own Supergirl
Author's Notes: Finally getting around to these damn prompts. I am SO sorry jemily. Writing's been hard but I keep getting ALL the ideas and just...not...writing. -sigh- I hope I did this justice. It's based the night of the ballroom scene after 2x13
It's Different For Everyone
Alex was currently curled up on her bed, snuggled into Maggie's side as the moonlight flickered through the light breeze rustled curtains of her bedroom window. She was still a little dazed from the night they had, the goofy expression finally vacating her face as she revisited the events of the day, brows knit together. Pulling away slightly to push herself up onto her elbow she looked down at Maggie's equally sated and happy face.
"Maggie?" she began, earning a content hum in response. "Why did you recreate Valentine's Day for me despite the effect it has on you. Despite...the trauma you experienced?" Alex asked in a soft voice, trying desperately to keep eye contact with her girlfriend.
Maggie sucked in a breath, releasing it slowly to center herself. Sighing as she shook her head she sat up in the bed, pulling the sheet with her to keep her body warm. "I've never...labeled it as trauma," she muttered in explanation for her instinctual response.
Nodding her head rather than reiterating her words, Alex also sat up and faced Maggie, waiting patiently.
"I...I just wanted you to be happy," Maggie admitted, eyes downcast.
"You didn't have to push through the pain you experienced just to make me feel better. We don't ever have to do anything for Valentine's Day again if you don't like," Alex offered, brushing a strand of hair behind Maggie's ear and resting her hand on her cheek. Maggie leaned into the touch, eyes closing in relief.
"No, it's fine. I think this is a better coping mechanism. To heal from what happened in middle school. Replace the bad memories with the beautiful," Maggie said, turning toward Alex for emphasis. Alex blushed, chewing on her bottom lip. "You're so beautiful, Alex," she whispered, leaning forward for a kiss that deepened easily. Tangling her hands in Maggie's hair, Alex found the woman straddling her as she was distracted by her lip being teased between blunt teeth. She pulled back when a moan bubbled up her throat.
Alex sighed, resting her head against the headboard. "Are you sure?" She had to know.
"Yes, I am," Maggie promised, rubbing Alex's biceps lightly. "I've mostly repressed the memories at this point, hidden behind my anger and revulsion over the Hallmark money making strategies, but February is a harder month to...live," she trailed off, eyes darkening.
Straightening up slightly, Alex wrapped her arms around Maggie and pulled her in for a hug. She realized she had no idea what it was like to be Maggie, she couldn't even imagine the pain she experienced. Alex really had been lucky when she came out, hadn't she? "It's...it's like that for a lot of people isn't it?" she asked, then gulped. "I was...lucky."
"Very," Maggie exhaled. "Coming out...is one of the hardest parts of our lives. Many remain in the closet for their very protection. I never gave it a second thought giving that valentine to Elisa Wilkey, I never knew better because there were no gay people in town. Well, none that I knew about, but that's the thing with a small town, everyone knows everyone else's business, and they tend to be small minded, stuck in their ways," she explained, the tone of her voice bitter in remembrance, Alex's arms tightening around her in response. Maggie took another breath, enjoying the comfort that came with the familiarity of Alex's conditioner. "But you learn ways to cope, to read people as quickly as you can to determine if you're in a safe environment and can be as open as your usually are. You build up defenses and strengthen your resolve if something does go awry. It can be exhausting and sometimes it's too much to bare."
"If my experiences, my pain allows you or others to have an easier life, then I will take that burden any day," Maggie said. "And you make it better for me. I can lower my defenses because I know you have my back, I know that you care so implicitly for me, and I'm glad your journey has been better than mine," she finished with a soft kiss, leaning back to watch Alex for her reaction if any. She knew it was a lot of take in, a mostly organizing of her thoughts and getting them out into the open, off her chest. Whether or not Alex had anything to say didn't matter, it was a comfort to Maggie to talk freely.
Alex nodded her head, understanding that Maggie was done talking for the moment. Unable to resist the distraction of Maggie's body on top of hers, Alex turned her head to once again gaze out her window contemplatively, hands still firmly gripping Maggie's hips. After a few silent moments, she piped up, "I...am so sorry, Maggie," she began, sighing. "I'm glad you told me so I can understand, and understand you more," Alex smiled wistfully at her girlfriend. "I hope things keep getting easier for you. That we can be this open and honest with each other. And I will listen more closely to you from now on. No pushing," she promised, a tear tracking down her cheek at that previous failure.
"I will try to not hide things from you, no matter how painful," Maggie replied, leaning her forehead against Alex's.
"Thank you," Alex said. "For everything. For being honest, for pushing through your emotions for a beautiful Valentine's Day of our own, for helping me understand. For being my girlfriend," she blushed with the last admission.
Maggie kissed Alex. "No, thank you," she whispered, breath ghosting over Alex's lips. "But I prefer to show my thanks than speak it," Maggie husked, adjusting herself to kiss down Alex's throat.