Just a note, but this was written quickly and is Abby Flourite's B-day and Graduation present from me, ~S.D! I hope everyone who reads it at worst goes. "Meh, it wasn't total shit." But if you think it IS total shit, then go away and don't comment, because noone wants to hear your negativity. Btw, it's T coz I would kill over and die of a nose-bleed if there was anything... steamy in here. :3 written within 30 hours of thinking of the idea! Woo-hoo! And the world welcomes the third Byakuya and Karin as the two main characters OneShot! I'm too chikin' shit to do anything more than what's in here...
E/N: I apologize for the spacing issue before, because it wasn't like that before I uploaded it. . ENJOY
Enjoy!
SWAStrikesAgain!
Kurosaki Karin sighed, running a slim hand through her cropped raven black hair.
She cursed once again, still hardly believing she was roped into doing this.
XxFlash-BackxX
" So ya wanna join the SWA, do ya?" A slightly slurred voice questioned.
Karin glanced at Rukia who sitting next to her, was forcing down a grin. The teenager's gaze traveled back to the busty woman slouched across the couch across from her.
"Yeah, I mean there isn't anything else to do. Besides beat the shit out of my squad members." She answered, a smirk appearing as she mentioned the last sentence
Rangiku giggled, knowing her friend's tendencies to fight anyone who wanted to spar, and how Karin would almost always send said person to the fourth squad within minutes or sometimes even seconds.
" Alright, president Kusajishi, whadda ya say?" The bubble-gum haired child bounced into the room, and onto Karin's back.
" Yaaaaay! Let her join!" She cheered as she was handed a lollipop larger than her head.
The other members nodded in agreement and Vice President Kurotsuchi spoke.
" I agree that Fourth seat Kurosaki is well qualified to join the Shinigami Womens' Association, but first we must decide a proper initiation." Murmurs of agreement were heard.
Rangiku once again opened her mouth,
" Hows' about she go snatch tha' sexy stick up 'is ass Captain's ribbon or something, eh?" She slurred, finishing off the fourth bottle of Sake since the conversation had begun, finally passing out on the sofa.
" Do you mean Captain Kuchiki? He is the only sexy taicho that I recall ever being known to wear a ribbon, as well as have a stick in his ass." Lieutenant Nemu mentioned.
Rukia's eyes widened and as she was about to protest, Unohana smiled, causing everyone in the room except Isane to silence and inch away.
A loud chortle was heard from the doorway, behind the crowd.
" Ah, yes. Little Byakkun always did have a tantrum when I 'borrowed' his ribbons." The Godess of Flash took a seat next to the Tenth's passed-out lieutenant.
" I think it would be the perfect challenge for Karin's initiation." The feral glint in her eye gave Karin a very unwelcome and deeply impending feeling of doom.
" Yoruichi-san, do you really think a ribbon is the best Karin can do? No, I do think that would be too easy and an insult to Karin's skill, wouldn't it?" Karin almost flinched at her eerie smile, but managed a meek nod. The woman was infamous in her division as being the most frightening Shinigami in existence. Though he would never admit it, Captain Unohana unnerved even her Captain, Zaraki Kenpachi.
" Y-yes Captain Unohana."
Unohana turned to look everyone in the room in the eyes.
" Then the official initiation of Karin Kurosaki into the Shinigami Women's Association will be to infiltrate the Kuchiki Manor, and take at least one nude or scantily clothed picture of one Byakuya Kuchiki." The entirety of the SWA, save Rukia and the inebriated tenth division Lieutenant, nodded enthusiastically.
Both Rukia and Karin's jaws fell agape, their eyes bugging out.
" B-but why him, of all people!" Karin still didn't get what was so great about him. Seriously...
" Because every year for the last two or three decades, we've taken a poll for the 'Captain we most desire a photo book for' poll, and Captain Kuchiki has always ranked first by a landslide. So in other words, we could raise quite a substantial amount of funds with even a single picture of him in less than usual clothing." Lieutenant Nanao Ise informed her, scribbling something down on a clip-board. Well that explains a lot, but why the hell do the women go crazy for the guy like he's a fresh piece of meat and they a pack of starving wolves? Karin wondered.
Nemu handed Karin a hot pink digital camera and black mask that would only cover around her eyes and part of her nose. From where the woman suddenly got them, she didn't know. Glass shattering was then heard, and eyes went again to the couch.
" Y'know, ya could snatch a pair of underwear too~" Rangiku conked out again, dropping another empty Sake bottle.
Karin quickly pinched her nose and flushed, in annoyance of course, and Rukia paled considerably.
" So I suppose the only thing this 'initiation' crap is to make money?"
" Yes, and due to the presidents... needs, we are unfortunately running drastically low on funds."
The short violet haired woman turned to protest, but a sharp look from the frightening medic silenced her. Rukia hung her head, a depressing aura enveloping her as she muttered something along the lines of 'I'm sorry Nii-sama, but I have failed you ...'.
Karin heaved a sigh.
" Fine, I'll do it. But I am NOT dropping so low as to steal underwear," she glared at the drunkard," and if I come back in a body-bag, know that blame all of you." Karin turned on her heel and left the room, which happened to be one of Rangiku's secret bases in the Tenth. The sooner she completed the task, the better. She was tempted to ask Rukia, but it may scar her. She knew that if she were asked to take essentially a pornographic picture of Ichigo, she would flip her shit.
" Do you think she can do it?" Isane asked her superior, recalling th many other times they had tried to tape scandalous photos of the Kuchiki.
Unohana smiled, " I think she'll be fine. But if she doesn't get any pictures, she's proven her worth by just attempting."
Isane nodded, satisfied with her answer but yet still worried.
Karin closed the door and stood outside it, gazing at the beautiful orange and pink sunset above, the occasional delicate pink Sakura blossom floating into view, guided by the soft breeze.
Releasing her nose, a river of blood drained out and she wiped it with a tissue she had stashed in her pocket for emergencies like this.
Tying the mask into place, she flashed to the top of a division building, using her advanced skills in Shunpo to increase her speed to what only the captains could see. There would be no witnesses to the degrading behavior she was about to exhibit.
oOo
She was walking into the Lion's Den, she knew. As soon as she jumped the wall that divided the Kuchiki Estate from the rest of Seireitei, there would be no turning back. Not that her pride would let her wuss out anyways.
In one flashing leap she scaled the wall and landed in the plush grass of a large extravagant garden of some sorts, that of which had an actual stream running through it. She double-checked that the mask shielding around her eyes was in place, so she wasn't as easily recognizable. Many Shinigami had black hair similar to hers, luckily. And it wasn't like grey eyes were uncommon either.
Karin tightened a silver and black studded band around her wrist, for if she lost it others in the manor could easily sense her strong spiritual energy. With this device made by the (mad)genius Urahara, no one could pick up even the slightest trace of Reitsu. This one had the only side effect of blocking her own ability to sense and distinguish reishi.
She sighed once more, something she was getting quite used to doing. What the hell does this bastard even look like? She hadn't really thought on it, but how could she find the man when she did not know what the guy looks like?
Well he is Rukia's brother, so think about Rukia as a guy... Imagine Rukia growing a bit—er, a lot taller... so essentially her idea of what the guy looked like was a taller, masculine version of Rukia. But she did know that since they were brother and sister, their hair and eye colour would have to be the same.
Looking around once more, she was surprised that she actually recognized the garden to be one near Rukia's room old room, which was a few rooms down from her target's. How she knew this, was in every minute Rukia wasn't talking about something Shinigami or Ichigo(Karin mentally gagged) related, she talked about her brother.
Of course, Rukia made her brother seem like a God, bragging about how tough it was to run a manor as large as the Kuchiki and how well he did it, etc. Karin had heard many other things about Kuchiki Byakuya, and besides him being extremely attractive, nothing was good. Due to these negative things said by other Shinigami(namely Ichigo) her opinion of the captain wasn't very good. And Rukia had the tendency to over exaggerate things, so her depiction of the man was very likely to be highly inaccurate. Take her drawings, for example.
The good thing about the midget's rambling were that she wouldn't even have to know what the man looked like now(since Rukia's chatty-ness gave a lot of info about the manor); she would just snap a picture of whoever was in the room that she thought was his.
Using carefully concealed movements and Shunpo, she cleverly slunk to the closest Shoji screen, camera poised for action, and opened it.
The room was empty, but to no surprise it was extravagantly designed, money evident in every detail.
She left the door open as she silently stepped in, deciding it wise to have an escape route, should she be seen by any servants or guards.
But if she were to be caught by Rukia's brother, that was another story. One that she wouldn't have a very happy ending in, since he would obviously kill her, slowly and painfully.
She opened another door and poked her head out into the silent hallways. It was empty as well.
Due to the bracelet's side effect, Karin was forced to check each room in the hallway, finding Rukia's old room at one end(the walls were smothered with Chappy wallpaper), then making her way to the other.
The last door on the right had to be it.
Body tense, one hand holding the camera and the other reaching for the door. She grasped the handle and slid it open...
To find yet another empty room.
Karin groaned. She tensed, listening to see if someone had heard her.
She peered into the room, and wasn't surprised to see extravagant silk linings on everything that required fabric. It was probably the finest in existence. Definitely more so than any piece of cloth she had ever seen.
Jeeze, Karin thought, her jaw poised in a trade-mark Kurosaki scowl, these idiots spend enough on things like this to feed the entire country. No, the entire PLANET for a year and still have plenty to spend.
The young woman rolled her eyes and shut the door. This obviously wasn't her target's room.
She turned around, and bumped into something. She would have fell onto the Shoji screen behind her, had a strong hand not caught her wrist.
"Who are you, and what is your purpose for trespassing upon the Kuchiki estate." A deep masculine voice commanded. Not asked or questioned, but commanded. There was not a trace of curiosity in his voice.
Karin looked up with her masked clad stormy grey eyes into a pair similar, but not quite the same in colour, which were also framed by long black tresses of damp hair. Well I damn well know this guy isn't related to Rukia. No resemblance what-so-ever.
The man's grip did not loosen and Karin sat sprawled on the ground, frozen.
The man narrowed his eyes, as if silently commanding her to respond.
Karin slipped her wrist from his grip and narrowed her own eyes.
"It's none of your business why I'm here, just as it's not any of my business to ask," her eyes quickly took in his appearance, "why the hell a pretty boy like yourself is walking around in a towel, creeping on girls. Have you grown weary of being some old fart's boy-toy?"
Karin's smirked in satisfaction as the pretty-boy standing opposite of her clenched his jaw. Karin rose to her feet and was about to leave when she somehow ended up with her back and head brutally slammed onto the wooden floor.
"Get offa me, you sissy bitch!" She yelled, trying to move his foot, which was about to become a permanent resident of her stomach if he didn't move it soon. Seriously, the man was holding his towel up with one hand, so how the hell did he manage to turn her around and pin her to the floor with just one foot?
"You clearly mistaken, since no sophisticated woman would use such foul language. Are you perhaps a swine, then?" son of a bitch! How dare that cock-sucker call me a fucking pig!
"You fucking son of a bitch! Get offa me so I can fucking castrate you!" Giving up on moving him with pure brawn, since it seemed to be an impossible task, Karin calmed down a bit, twisted her camera-less arm back and whispered,
"Hado 31: Shakkahō!" The foot on her back disappeared and a loud explosion was heard. She scrambled to her feet, turning in the direction of the first room when suddenly, her battered an bruised head was now slammed against a wall.
"What the hell do you want now?" She gritted, struggling to breathe due to the hand crushing her wind pipe.
"What I want, if for you to pay for the damage costs to the hole your pathetic excuse for a Shakkahō burned into my roof." He was seething, that she could tell.
"Burn in hell, sissy bitch! Now let me go unless you want another Hadō shoved up you ass!" She ignored the part about it being 'his' roof.
She channelled Reishi into her hands, and attempted to pry his hands off of her neck.
Wait... hands? Last she recalled, he could only use one since he was holding up his towel with the other...
Her gaze went south and her blood went north.
Blood shot out her nose once again, as she saw something most women in Soul Society would kill to see, but she would kill not to see.
His towel was missing, likely blasted away with the roof. And underneath he was starknaked!
Her gaze flew north this time, and if she had though this man was actually a human with emotions, she may have noticed the slight blush tinging his cheeks a soft pink that rivaled the color of Sakura blossoms.
Frantic to flee, Karin ripped his hands from her neck, activated a smoke Kidō and fled the scene through the hole in the roof, simultaneously cloaking herself with an invisibility Kidō.
She had never used so much Kidō in her life. And for the first time ever, she was glad she told the eleventh to stick it where it didn't snow and had learned it.
oOo
"You're a bunch of god damn fucking bitches!" Karin kicked the door open, her face a bright cherry red, remnants of the latter nose-bleed still on her face.
Karin examined every woman in the room, noticing some had left.
Rangiku rolled over on the couch clenching a pillow tightly over her head.
Yoruichi was downing shots.
Rukia looked like she was about to pass out from stress.
Unohana was smiling(creepily) still.
Isane was fidgeting.
And everyone else had long since been gone.
"What seems to be the problem?" The demonic purple haired witch purred.
Karin plopped down on the couch next to Rangiku and buried her face hands.
"I... saw something I did not want to see." She shakily muttered.
"Oh~ what was it?" Karin threw a pillow at the purple-haired devil.
"I saw some guy, in a towel, but I blasted him with a Kidō and he lost his towel and I saw something I did not want to see!"
Yoruichi cracked up laughing.
"You're worse than Ichigo, the King of Blushing Virgins!" Out of the corner of her eye, Karin caught Rukia blush and suddenly felt nauseous.
"Eww, that's disgusting! Too much information."
"Was he a hottie?" Yoruichi asked, causing Karin's fading flush to come back full force.
Karin paused a bit before answering. "F-fine, he was, okay! But it was still a disturbing image." She took a seat by Rangiku.
"What did the servant look like?" Rukia piped in, "I may know which one you're speakin of." Karin lowered her gaze to her lap and began fiddling with her reitsu concealing bracelet(as she called it).
"Well... for one, he was walking around in a towel for some odd reason. He was awfully pale but still looked at the peak of health, he had long black hair and grey eyes... and he was a pompous asshole! He said I wasn't a woman but a swine when I called him a sissy-bitch and accused him of being one of the old fart's boy-toys." A loud thump was heard as Rukia fainted.
Breathing out a sigh, Karin looked at the poor girl. "Shit, Ichigo's gonna kill me, I think my profanities must have finally melted her brain."
Yoruichi, Unohana and Isane exchanged knowing looks.
"Did you get any pictures of this 'servant'?"
"No, I didn't get any pictures of him, or Rukia's brother, but I DID do something."
Yoruichi raised an eyebrow.
"I... kinda, sorta... lost the camera... and I think that newd servant might've found it."
"YOU DID WHAT!"
One Week Later
Seireitei Communications Headliner: an anonymous benefactor submits over five-hundred embarrassing SWA photos to the SMA and Seireitei Communications!
oOo
Yaay! Finally satified with this~ isn't it funny? Sorry about the gay jokes for anyone who swings that way, but as him being an old time-ish noble, I thought that and him being called feminine would push his buttons the most. And Karin knows how to piss people off~
If any of you detest her cursing... well, like many of the 11th squad, she has a mouth. But unlike them, it's not constant and only appears when she is annoyed or pissed off. As you could probably tell.
I'm doing a sequel too, btw. R&R please! It's much appreciated.