Hello again or for the first time, Murayama Tsuru here. This is another oneshot that centers around Gin-chan. Since the last one was kinda sad, I tried my hand at comedy this time. It might just be really stupid, but I think it's in the Gintama spirit. Well here it is, I hope you guys like it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama; it is the property of Sorachi Hideaki.
When Gin woke up at the blissfully late hour of noon, he was happily surprised that he wasn't pried out of bed at eight AM by a too noisy Shinpachi (to Shinpachi's defense, Gintoki was usually hungover so anything sounded loud to him). As he wandered into the kitchen, he noticed that neither Kagura nor Shinpachi were around; but he didn't pay it much attention, his only focus right now was his morning strawberry milk.
Gin opened the fridge and took out the milk carton; he then proceeded to shake the carton lightly to make sure it hadn't turned to cheese since the last time he drank from the carton (ever since reading that Naruto chapter, he got into the habit because the runs did not sound fun). Gin was about to take a sip (straight from the carton; no one else drank the stuff), when he smelled something funny. So, he took a look inside the carton; he saw a rainbow of different colors marbling his now rotten milk.
"Oh gross, I'm definitely not drinking this." He thought aloud as he took a picture (Kagura would probably think it was cool). He then threw the carton out and called out "Kaaaaaguuuuuraaaa, I have something cool to show you." But, he received no answer. So, he tried again but still got no answer. Gin then walked over to Kagura's closet to see if she was there. She wasn't, so Gintoki wandered back over to the kitchen to see if she was hiding somewhere. As he approached the trash can (he didn't think she was there, not really…but this is Kagura we're talking about, so he couldn't be sure), he saw the note. It was in Kagura's handwriting:
Gin-chan,
I'm going to the park with Sadaharu. Because the weather said it was going to be rainy today; that Shinsengumi sadist challenged me to a decathlon (whatever that is). I'm bringing Sadaharu along for moral support uh-huh. I'll be gone all morning, so don't worry.
P.S. I'm running out of Sukonbu and Sadaharu needs more food. Could you go to the store and get some?
Gin sighed; so much for asking Kagura to go to store for him. He was about to call out to Shinpachi when he noticed another line on Kagura's note: P.P.S Shinpachi wrote something on the other side. It looked like you might want to read it, so I didn't throw it away.
So Gin turned over the piece of paper and started reading:
Gin-san, Kagura-chan,
Aneue has an upset stomach this morning (she drank too much at the cabaret club last night), so I will be returning home after I finished writing this. Hopefully she will be better by this afternoon, so I might come back then. Please don't come over to the Dojo, she needs a quiet environment and you two will not help anything.
P.S. it looks like the Strawberry Milk is about to go bad, so you might want to get more soon.
Gin Tch'ed; Shinpachi had time to write this note but not go out and buy Strawberry Milk? "This is why Shinpachi will always be Shinpachi" Gin sighed then returned to his room to get dressed. He then left the house, umbrella in hand (Kagura was right, it was raining cats and dogs).
When he arrived at the convenience store, he immediately went over to the dairy section. At first glance, he couldn't find his strawberry milk so he started taking things off of the shelf (in case it was hiding behind one of the other milk products). Eventually a slightly miffed staff member came up to him, after he had emptied the shelves of all the other milks, and asked in a somewhat surly voice "Sir, can I help you look for something?"
"Yeah, I was looking for your strawberry milk. It seems to be missing. Did you move it?" Gin growled back. The clerk sighed and said "No, we didn't move it. Earlier today the local temple school bought it all. They're going on a fieldtrip and wanted something for the kids to drink. There're probably other convenience stores that carry it." Gin gave the clerk an annoyed look then stalked out of the store, leaving a very annoyed staff member to clean up his mess.
This same routine happened in all the other convenience stores Gin went to. At the sixth one, before the clerk could say anything Gin poked him in the eyes. So, the poor guy yelled "What was that for?" while rubbing his eyes.
"I know what you were going to say; the local temple school bought out all your strawberry milk. I've heard the same story at every other convenience store I've been to. And I'm sick of it!"
"Geez! That was not what I was going to say! The temple school took all but one of the strawberry milks. We just sold the last one to that…Duck-penguin…thing over there." Gin knew right away that the clerk was talking about Elizabeth and ran in the direction he pointed.
As Gin got closer to Elizabeth, he shouted "Hey! Give me that strawberry Milk! I'll give you 300 Yen for it!" When Gin got close enough to touch Elizabeth, she suddenly turned around and slapped him away with a sign that read how many times do I have to tell you people; don't stand behind me! Gin then sat up and wiped the blood trickling from his nose, "I was just going to ask you for your strawberry milk. Zura told me you don't like the stuff anyway." A breeze started up and Gin could hear the far off call of "It's not Zura, It's Katsura!" and he thought "How did he hear that?"
Sorry, I can't give it to you; it's for the local stray cats. But y'know, making your own strawberry milk isn't that hard. Read the next sign. At this, all Gin could do was stare at Elizabeth open-mouthed. Make his own strawberry milk? What kind of blasphemy was that?
As if reading Gintoki's mind Elizabeth's next sign said it's easy. All you need are some strawberries, milk, sugar and a blender. Gin thought about it for a while and came to the realization that Elizabeth was completely right. He then got up, thanked Elizabeth, and ran back to the convenience store.
When Gin got back to his house, he got everything ready to make the Strawberry milk when he realized he didn't know where the blender was. Since Shinpachi did most of the cooking, he would know. But Shinpachi was currently unavailable. So Gin started looking though the cupboards. Eventually he found something called a motion-activated blender. He didn't remember buying it; but figured it was just as good as any other blender.
Gin put in the strawberries, milk, and sugar; he was about to put the lid on when he realized he forgot to plug it in. After plugging the blender in, he walked over to put the lid on.
One second Gin was in front of the blender, the next he was still in front of the blender covered in homemade strawberry milk. He then realized what it meant by motion-activated. He thought you have to wave your hand in front of a sensor; but he was wrong apparently. He looked over at the blender box and read "Motion-activated blender; just put the ingredients in and any movement will take care of the rest" He glared at the box; it couldn't have mentioned that it would go off without the lid on?
As Gin was fuming at how stupid he was for buying a motion activated blender; he heard the door open. Then Kagura called out "Gin-chan, I'm home!"
"Welcome back Kagura. Uh…don't come into the kitchen right now." Gin figured that if Kagura came into the kitchen, the stupid blender would go off again and they'd both be covered in strawberry milk. But the only answer he got was "Why not Gin-chan? What are you doing in there?"
"Um…" Gin floundered for something, all he could come up with was "I'm naked. Since neither you nor Shinpachi were home, I decided to let it all hang loose."
"Eeww, that's gross Gin-chan. I'll just come in with my eyes closed."
"No, wait! Kagura—" too late, she had already opened the door; thus making the blender spew more of its contents on them both. Gin sighed and Kagura opened her eyes, wondering why she was now covered in milky liquid.
Flinching away from Kagura's glare, Gin asked "So, how did the decathlon go Kagura-chan?"
At that she broke out into a huge grin, "I beat his pasty sadistic ass, uh-huh! I even have pictures to prove it!"
"That's my Kagura-chan. Show the pictures to me later alright? Right now we need to figure out a way to unplug this thing without getting messier."
"What were you making any Gin-chan?"
"Strawberry milk." Kagura gave him a questioning look, "It's a long story, I'll tell you about it later. Kagura, I need you to duck under this thing's sensor and unplug it."
"Why do I have to do it? This is your mess!"
"But Kagura, it'd be easier for you because you're shorter." Kagura nodded. She then proceeded to crouch and walk around the blender.
As she was about to unplug the blender, Shinpachi came in and yelled "Gin-san, Kagura-chan, I'm back! Aneue's feeling better now!"
As Shinpachi was about to open the door Gin warned "Shinpachi, don't—" but again, Gin's warning came too late. Before the blender could spew again, Kagura unplugged it with a sharp yank. After sighing in relief, Gin heard Shinpachi chuckling.
"What's so funny?" Gin growled.
"It's just that I can't believe you plugged it in before putting the lid on. You've seen me use it so many times; so I find it quite funny that you didn't remember that."
"Oh, really? Well I wouldn't have gotten into this mess if you had just bought some strawberry milk. If you knew it was going bad, you couldn't have gone to the store? Instead you wrote a note!" Gin ranted.
"But, Aneue was puking up her guts. I couldn't leave her for too long. Don't worry, though, I did buy some strawberry milk on the way here. The convenience store near the Dojo was having a sale so I bought three." At this, Gin ran over and hugged Shinpachi yelling like a little kid "Why didn't you say so in the first place?"
Gin then took one of the cartons out of the bag he just noticed Shinpachi was holding. He opened the carton and was about to take a sip when he noticed something odd. "Wait a second…" Gin scrutinized the label, "This is raspberry milk!"
And there you go. I decided to end it where I did because it seemed like something that would happen in a Gintama chapter. I took inspiration from the chapter of Gintama where Gin was looking for an electric fan. But I decided not to put in a weird evil organization. In hope you enjoyed. If you like, please review. Every bit helps, even if it's to tell me something I did wrong.
-Murayama Tsuru