A/N: This is what happens when I don't sleep at night. This isn't a sequel to any of my stories, just a bizarre idea that popped into my head. Dean has kids because I figured he needed some happiness in his life. I know the girl's middle name may cause some confusion, but Jo's not her mother - it was a tribute to her and Ellen. I don't actually have a character for their mother, so she's not around. You'll understand it more as you go, I swear. Not going to ruin anything by explaining it here. For now, light hearted story. Enjoy!
Dean had never felt more like a fish out of water.
Sam hadn't either, and he'd spent the majority of his life feeling out of place. This wasn't just out of place; this was awkward and uncomfortable in extreme levels.
Dean looked around; at least some of the women were pretty hot. He could ignore the obscene amount of bratty children running around and screeching.
"The registration desk's over there," Sam pointed to a busy area on the other side of the room.
Dean nodded and swallowed. "Great. I'll wait here."
The younger gave his brother a sharp look. "She's your daughter, Dean!"
"And this was your stupid idea!" He hissed back. "What was wrong with coming as feds, huh?"
"This doesn't raise as much suspicion!"
"Still your idea."
Sam huffed and took his niece's hand, leading her over to the desk. He made sure his best smile was in place before they got there. "Hi," he said as sweetly as possible to the woman looking up at him expectantly. "Uhm, we called earlier and were told we could still register?"
The cheery looking woman slid a paper across the desk to him. She was pretty; her smile was inviting, and there was something about her eyes that caught his attention. "Just fill this out for me, please. You're her father?"
"No, no, I'm just her Uncle," Sam corrected.
She raised an eyebrow and smiled sympathetically at him. "Honey, we don't discriminate here. We let children from any family compete."
"I just…"
"Yeah, come on hun, it's 2012," Dean grinned, clapping his brother on the shoulder. Sam fought the urge to kick him. The only thing stopping him was his three year old niece standing quietly in the way, and that Dean was holding the other twin.
The woman beamed. "Just fill that out and I'll be right back."
Dean looked over his brother's shoulder to read the scrawl. "Shiloh Harvelle Jovi?" He whispered, his tone conveying how thoroughly unimpressed he was.
"Well I can't use Winchester. It was the only thing I could think of, so sue me," Sam shot back defensively, lowering his voice to avoid being heard, and to keep from waking Milo. "Besides, it sounds sort of… cute."
"Change it."
He probably would have, had Dean not embarrassed him in front of the woman. Now, it was about revenge. "No."
"Sam, don't make me make you."
"Don't cause a scene," the younger warned, catching sight of the parents turning to look at them. "Besides, I wrote it in pen."
"So? Cross it out!"
"If I cross it out, I'm putting down 'Kroeger," Sam warned. As he'd predicted, this made his brother back off after a bit of a snarl. He smiled to himself a little, reveling in the small victory. He suspected Dean might have fought more if he didn't have little Milo fast asleep against his shoulder. The kid could sleep through anything.
By the time he got through all the paperwork, Sam was beginning to wish they had come as feds.
Dean paced the floor anxiously as he waited for Sam to finish. Something about this place made him feel nauseous, and it wasn't just the freak accidents that had been killing some of the pageant parents. No, it was the heavy smell of hairspray, the outfits made of pure sequins, the little girls leading their parents around as though they were in charge – he swore, if Shiloh ever talked to him like that… - it was enough to make anyone in their right mind sick.
"You're smart to sleep through this, Miles," he murmured to his son whose drool was beginning to soak through Dean's shirt. "Little kids shouldn't look so… fake!"
He was relatively certain he'd never been happier to leave somewhere.