Bald Gate
And the Dorkithess's Alliance
Chapter of the 1st
Once upon a time, you walked down a path. You see a road sign up ahead. It says "Beware of flying camels." You ignore it and walk on. You see another road sign up ahead. You're entering the Twilight Zone. De-de-de-du-De-de-de-du-De-de-de-du-De-de-de-du. Gridnak the brave mongrel destroyer, Folzlack the not-AS-brave Hongrel evader, and Bob the hungry are weary from their travels, mkay? They each wield a sword of monkey destroyance, which has destroyed many monkeys. Got it, foo?
Peter Paverly the enormously fat sent the weary travelers on a mission to kill some stuff and get some stuff. So they said yes, mkay? Oh! By the way, Gridnak is a level 7 character!!! He has a yellow dog and an Escalade with a DVD player along with 3 exclamation points!! Make that five! Six. So they went to save a city but their Caddy blew up!! So they walked. It was a weary and lonesome travel. They reached the town, which was called The Dirtbag Capital Of THE World. Some old man with an ugly face told them that they could chop peoples heads off, so they went ahead. It was a fun time. The fuzz said that the old ugly man was lying…so Bob the hungry ate him! If you're wondering about who Bob ate, the answer was the liar and the fuzz…and a random school kid named Josh. His full name was Joshems Jehosefat, and he said to them "Dang, you stank up da joint, foo!" So they tried to kill him, but they couldn't hit him because he began to kick it old-school. Bob finally cooked the boy as a sirloin, and they laughed at an ugly guy…who got mad and exploded!! NO FOOLING!!! HE REALLY EXPLODED!!!! JUST LIKE THAT!!!!! So they felt bad so they left the town…and bought a new car. This time, it was a Porsche. It was red! As they were driving down a weary road, they heard some awful singing. They got out of the car and searched for the voice. They couldn't find it, dontcha' know? So they looked in a bush and saw some crazy singing bush-like-people!! They lived in bushes with a crazy singing bush-like-dog. The crazy bush-people could not be normal and they just annoyed the weary travelers. So Gridnak sliced them…wearily. They finally reached their new destination, Poultryville. In the meadows outside of the town they saw a road sign up ahead, it read (Hey, I'm a poet and I didn't even know it, I can rhyme anytime) "Joe Mama Founded This Site" they ignored that and traveled wearily ahead. A clan of angry mongrels frisked by them, not even noticing the weary travelers. BUT IT WAS A TRAP, the mongrels HAD seen them and they where waiting for the weary travelers to turn their backs to them. "It's a trap!!!" Bob exclaimed, even though the narrator had just stated that fact. Folzlack took out his bow and arrow and told his fellow weary travelers "I cant miss a shot, we cant lose, I am the best archer in the west." He missed the shot. "Damn." They lost. In fact he was the worst archer in the west. So the mongrel invaders took over Folzlak's possessions and they left him to rot, leaving the other weary travelers to rot as well.