Rules for Titans East Mansion
Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos.
One Shot
Oliver Queen, the hero known as the Green Arrow, was walking with a plaque under his arm. The archer placed said plaque on the wall and smiled to himself,
"There, that should get their attention."
With that, he left.
Several minutes went by before Lance, the red-eyed hero known as Diablos, was walking by when he noticed the plaque. He thought to himself,
This wasn't here before…Rules to live by? I had better get the others.
With that, he used his telepathy and called out to the others.
It did not take long for the others to arrive. Farrah, the lioness heroine Persiana, groaned,
"Rules again? First the Watchtower, now this? God, I feel like I'm living in prison." (1)
Kara Kent, the heroine Supergirl, sighed,
"And to think the rules in the Watchtower were bad. I wonder why Ollie put them up."
Miss Martian tapped her chin in thought,
"Maybe Green Arrow wants us to have some civility around here."
Roy Harper, the hero known as Speedy, shrugged,
"Or just wants a laugh."
1. Laser pointers are contraband at the Mansion.
Farrah moaned,
"Come on! What is so wrong with that?"
Wonder Girl tapped her chin,
"Was that the time that Roy and Connor used the laser pointers on Diablos, and Farrah would always tackle him?"
Lance nodded,
"Yeah. My back still hurts from all that."
The lioness purred,
"Come on, stud. I'd tackle you anyway, even without a laser pointer."
2. Connor, take down that website now.
Lance snorted,
"Idiot."
Connor Kent, the hero known as Superboy, groaned,
"Come on; do you know how many hits a day I get? Especially when Fire and Tigra get into cat-fights!"
Farrah looked at the cloned Kryptonian,
"Not as many as those women will do to you when they find out it's you."
Connor swallowed at that,
"Good point."
3. The T-jet is a valuable piece of equipment. Treat it as such and not as an extra bedroom.
Everyone turned to Donna for this one. Wonder Girl blinked,
"Someone caught me with Speedy, right?"
Lance nodded,
"Yeah, and you should've seen your sister's reaction."
He shuddered at the memory,
"I'm just glad I was able to teleport out of there when I did."
Speedy winced,
"Green Arrow wasn't so lucky. I had no idea you could use a bow and arrow set like THAT."
4. Sailor Moon Marathons are to be held under ADULT supervision.
Farrah asked innocently,
"What? Did we do something?"
Lance looked at his girlfriend,
"Farrah, you, Meg, Donna, and Kara all dressed up like the Sailor Scouts, and ran around New York, shouting out various lines from the show, in Japanese."
Connor smirked,
"Never underestimate the dangers of sushi, chocolate cookies, marshmallows, late nights, and watermelon."
Lance added,
"And when they mean adult supervision, do they mean SANE adults? I seem to recall Tigra, Cheetah, Fire, and Black Canary getting involved in this, too."
The lioness shrugged,
"We did have a great time, though."
The red-eyed hero raised an eyebrow,
"All of you chased Miss Marvel around New York when she came here, thinking she was Queen Beryl. Not to mention, you all thought I was Tuxedo Mask!" (2)
Farrah pouted,
"But, you would look SO cute in a tuxedo."
Speedy grinned,
"I don't see what your problem is, Lance. I mean, it was pretty hot when the cat-girls did the splits."
Donna grabbed her boyfriend and glared venomously at him. Speedy quickly added,
"But, Donna looked the cutest in her outfit."
The Amazon princess smiled,
"Better."
She dropped him to the floor.
5. Supergirl, quit trying to trick Wonder Man to come down here and locking him in the basement.
Kara shouted,
"NEVER! SIMON IS MINE!!"
Connor commented,
"And women complain men can't control their hormones."
M'gan scratched her head,
"I wonder where Kara found the shackles strong enough to imprison Simon?"
Lance shook his head,
"Somehow, Farrah was involved in the procurement of said shackles, and I'll leave it at that."
6. Stop trying to get Miss Marvel featured on America's Most Wanted.
Farrah looked back at the rule,
"Never!"
Supergirl said,
"I don't even want to know."
7. Stop prank calling the Titans Tower in Jump City. Or anywhere else for that matter.
Lance shook his head,
"This has Speedy written all over it."
Roy shook his head,
"Hey, I only called one time."
The demonic hero said,
"Well, SOMEBODY called a pizza place and had five hundred shrimp and anchovy pizzas delivered to LexCorp."
Everyone turned to Farrah. The lioness rolled her eyes,
"You know, I'm not the only feline around here. Tigra could have made the call, or maybe one of the Cheetahs."
8. Stop spying on dates.
M'gan said,
"Was this the time that Speedy and Persiana went to Star City and videotaped Green Arrow and Black Canary on a date?"
Farrah nodded,
"Yeah, I would've gotten great footage…if that stupid Catman didn't show up when he did!"
She growled,
"Oh, I hate that man!"
9. Speedy, Superboy; stop trying to get Wonder Girl and Persiana to make out.
The white-haired feline nodded,
"I have a hard enough time living that down." (3)
She then felt a hand on her tail. Her expression sank,
"Donna, quit grabbing my tail."
The younger Amazon princess pouted, but eventually let go.
Roy looked at Lance,
"Did my girlfriend just grab your girlfriend's butt?"
The red-eyed hero shook his head,
"It could be worse; those two could be dating just to freak out Wonder Woman."
Farrah shook her head,
"Lance, do you honestly think I would date Donna, if I were to swing that way, just so I could freak out Diana?"
Everyone looked at her,
"Yes."
Farrah shrugged,
"You're probably right."
10. You're all superheroes and you should act accordingly. You are role models for a younger generation.
Farrah smirked,
"Yeah, I'll teach everyone everywhere to rebel against the system and stand up for what you believe in."
Lance shook his head,
"As well as adding gratuitous property damage and annoying blonde women everywhere."
The lioness shrugged,
"What's wrong with that?"
Supergirl grinned,
"And I teach everyone to go after the man they love, and fight for him!"
Speedy declared,
"And, if there's a cat-fight, you should tape it!"
Superboy added,
"Right on!"
The girls all looked at the archer and the clone. Donna said ominously,
"Start running, you two."
At this, Roy and Connor barely dodged all four women trying to tackle them and fled, with the girls in hot pursuit, shouting out various things they would do to their anatomy.
Roy shouted,
"Lance, save me from your psychotic girlfriend!"
Lance looked at how irate the girls were and shrugged,
"I'm not getting involved in this."
End of One Shot!
(1) Read Rules for the Watchtower and the two sequels.
(2) Queen Beryl is the villainess in the Sailor Moon Series, and Tuxedo Mask is a masked hero wielding a cane. He always makes his entrance by throwing a rose.
(3) Read Catastrophe 2 for details.