What do a fashion queen, a thief, a rookie, a jackass, a stud, and a senior warrior have in common? Well, you'll just have to find out wontcha?
But first, I shall go through the motions of explaining the recent happenings on Zi. It's only been a month since the Blitz Team set the Backdraft straight and saved the Battle Commission from being blow to bits by Vega's Berserk Fuher. They have moved up into the class S thanks to the Liger Zero and its pilot, Bit Cloud.
But was the Backdraft really gone? They haven't shown their face since their humiliating defeat, but does that mean they've given up hope of ever taking over the continent, or does it just mean that they've gone into hiding for a short period to create a better plan?
Well don't ask me! Do I look like a member of the Backdraft group to you!?!
So what do a fashion queen, a thief, a rookie, a jackass, a stud, and a senior warrior have in common? Well let me rephrase the question.
What do you get when you cross a fashion queen, a thief, a rookie, a jackass, a stud, and a senior warrior? The ultimate zoids team! That's what!
Zoids: FUBAR
Chapter One
Diego
I cranked up the volume on my headphones. Loud music helps me think. It keeps me calm under these situations. The last thing I need is to freak out.
It's just on of those days
When you don't wanna wake up,
I breathed deeply. This is gonna be harder than I thought. Apparently after Sven stole from these guys they cranked up security. Not like it's surprising...
Everything is fucked,
Everybody sucks!
But damn. This is an army of people with guns! I'm not so sure I can pull this shit off anymore. These guys'll shoot me on the spot!
You don't really know why,
But you wanna justify
Rippin' someone's head off!
No! I can't back off now. I've never failed a job before, so I'm not about to start anytime soon. All I have to do is take my time and think. I cranked the volume up some more.
No human contact,
And if you interact
You life is on contract!
I crept slowly around the corner, glanced both ways, and bolted to a Gun Sniper, hiding behind its massive leg.
Your best bet is to stay away
Mutha fuka!
It's just one of those days!
I felt my heart pound in my chest. I couldn't see any guards from this angle. I silently prayed to Eve that no one was there. This might be the last gulp of air I take....
It's all about the he sez, she sez
Bullshit!
I think you better quit lettin' shit slip,
Or you'll be leavin' with a fat lip!
I leapt out of my hiding place and ran at full tilt toward the Spinnosappa. If I could just get inside it....
It's all about the he sez, she sez
Bullshit!
I think you better quit talkin' that shit!
SHPOO!!
Holy shi—
That bastard tried to shoot me!!! Fear welled up inside me and my legs locked. I tripped and tumbled to the floor, banging my right knee.
"FREEZE!" I could hear a man shout.
It's just one of those days
Feelin' like a freight train.
First one to proclaim
Leaves with the bloodstain!
I heard footsteps. Pretty soon I found myself surrounded by guards. I tried to move, but got a sharp pain in my knee and a gun pushed into my back in response. Rggg.... Eve. My leg....
You're damn right I'm a maniac!
You better watch your back
Cos' I'm fuckin' up your program!
A couple of the guards backed away toward a phone on the wall. I couldn't hear them too well over my music, but I'm sure I heard the words "young boy" and "check it out."
But they haven't won yet. I've got an ace up my sleeve.
And if you're stuck up
You just lucked up,
Next in line to get fucked up!
I slowly slid my hand down to my watch and hit a small red button. None of the guards seemed to notice seeing as they didn't yell or try and shoot me.
Your best bet is to stay away
Mutha fuka!
It's just one of those days!
SHKREEAW!!!
The loud hiss echoed throughout the garage. My reinforcements had arrived. Right on schedule....
It's all about the he sez, she sez
Bullshit!
I think you better quit lettin' shit slip
Or you'll be leavin' with a fat lip!
The sleek navy-black organoid charged onto the scene, smacking cops every which way and screeching loudly. Good job Lucifer. I can always count on you.
The security police yelled in surprise and shot wildly at my partner in crime. Lucifer hissed at them and launched himself into the air, then coming back down and melding perfectly with the Spinnosappa I was here to steal.
It's all about the he sez, she sez
Bullshit!
I think you better quit talkin' that shit, punk!
So come and get it!
The zoid came to life and lowered its giant head toward me. The cockpit opened for me. The guards were screaming in terror. Despite the pain in my leg, I managed to drag myself into the zoid. The canopy closed over me.
"Grrr.... Grar," Lucifer growled.
"Thanks Lucifer," I said. "I owe you."
He growled again. I owe him a lot and he knows it.
I feel like shit...
My suggestion is to keep your distance.
Cos' right now I'm dangerous!
I placed my hands on the joystick. Ahhh... I love this feeling.
We've all felt like shit
And been treated like shit!
I raised the massive saws that rested on its back. I thrust them into the wall.
All those mutha fukas,
They wanna step up!
I hope ya know
I pack a chainsaw!
The wall weakened and gave. I was free! Free!
I'll skin your ass raw!
Nothing could stop me!
And if my day keeps going this way
I just might break something tonight!
I looked back and saw the cops climbing into their own zoids. What makes them think they can stand up to me? I'll skin their asses raw!!!
Give me something to break!
I pack a chainsaw,
I'll skin your ass raw!
I charged toward them, chainsaws raised.
And if my day keeps going this way
I just might break your fuckin' face tonight!
I brought the iron weapons down hard on their zoids, practically breaking them in half! Lucifer/Spinnosappa roared happily. This is what he lives for. What all zoids live for.
Total destruction.
Give me something to break!
Just give me something to break!
How 'bout your fuckin' face?
Adrenaline surged through my body. Nothing could stop me! Nothing!
I hope you know I pack a chainsaw,
WHAT?
But soon there were no more opponents for me to fight. I had won. No one else was there.
I hope you know I pack a chain saw!
A mother fuckin' chainsaw,
What?
I slowly turned my zoid around. Time to go home.
Come and get it!
It was at that moment, when I about-faced, that I saw another zoid. A dangerous looking zoid. A zoid with flaming purple eyes. It lifted its head and let out a blood-curdling howl. I shivered.
It's all about the he sez, she sez
Bullshit!
I think you better quit lettin' shit slip,
Or you'll be leaving with a fat lip!
It crouched and leapt into the air. I was frozen. It was an incredible zoid. I wish I could get a good look at it, but the stormy night sky blocked out all light.
It's all about the he sez, she sez
Bullshit!
I think you better quit talkin' that shit!
It landed square on top of my Spinnosappa, drilling its claws into my zoid's back. My zoid—my undefeatable zoid—was gone. I could feel myself slipping away into darkness.
Darkness....
Darkness....
So come and get it!
(Disclaimer): So what did you guys think? You like it?
I'd like to mention that I do not own Zoids. I own a couple models, yes, but not the general idea.
While I'm at it I'll also mention that I don't own this song. This song is "Bullshit" by Limp Bizkit. I simply used it for this chapter.
The rest of the fic won't have songs unless you're in Diego's POV and he's pulling another job or is in a zoid battle.
But seriously: Who is this mystery zoid?
What happened to Diego?
What happened to his organoid, Lucifer?
All will be answered in chapter two!!!