I do not own Rosanne or have any dealings with the show... these stories are pure fiction and have nothing to do with Rosanne or it's creators.
Mansplaining And Motherhood
Aunt Jackie finally felt at ease with the new living arrangements. She has been living there and keeping the household together especially with Darlene's kids -it was as if the events of the past few months had been put to rest and things were starting to return to normal -especially the trials and tribulations of young adulthood, that were now apart of Harris's life.
"Hey Jax, what going on?" Dan said as he grabbed a beer from the fridge, elated that he just got another drywall job to keep him focused on something other than the tragic events that suddenly befallen the Conner clan.
"Oh nothing much Dan, you know keeping the kids from ripping each others throats out... same old same old - And congrats on the new gig "
" Darlene isn't back from her shift yet I see." Dan said as he grabbed for a bag of chips.
"No, she's working a double, and since I have no classes to deal with tonight, I told her I'd watch Mark... she didn't really want to deal with Becky you know? 'sister probs'." Jackie said as she finished off her 3rd cup of coffee.
"eek! been there, it always seems to last about a week or 2 with them... well anyway Jax thanks for everything - you know."
"Don't thank me just be grateful I'm here to take the shots for you... the pleasure is all mine."
Dan didn't realize it just yet, but there was a young man in the living room waiting on Harris, a young man named Xander. Dan hadn't had to deal with the whole 'dating thing' since Jerry moved out, but with his sons he always seemed to let them run on autopilot - but now with Harris his old double standard was about to be rekindled.
"Hey Jackie, do you mind telling me who that is? there is a boy sitting on my couch and drinking my soda."
"Oh sorry Dan forgot to tell you thats Harris's new friend Xander. " Jackie said as she scrolled through her Facebook feed.
"Friend Jackie? or boyfriend? and Xander who wants to go by Xander what ever happened to names like Bob or Bruce, you know guy names. Xander(Dan said under his breath) and Jackie, doesn't this guy look a bit on the artsy side to you?"
"well you know Dan 'they' say a girl falls for a boy like her father I don't agree with it but thats what 'they' say. and anyways David was pretty 'artsy' if you ask me... so who cares? Harris will have plenty of guy friends in her life just let it go Dan." Jackie said as she spammed Facebook likes.
"well, if he's anything like her Dad he can get his ass out of My house right now."
"Oh Dan, David will come around just give him time quit looking to deep into things... quit being paranoid Harris is a good kid I trust her to make good decisions... now just relax and say hi to the kid."
Dan couldn't believe he was about to introduce himself to the young man it had been ages since Darlene left so he felt a bit rusty about the whole 'song and dance'.
"Hey there young man Dan Conner Harris's granddad... so what you do?"
"Hi Dan, um I'm Xander with an X, and I work at the burger barn that is until our band takes of we got like 6k YouTube subscribers so any day now."
" in a band hmmm, and with an X huh - say is that short for Alexander?"
"Nah, just Xander. Soooo Dan was it?"
just then Harris comes down the stairs shocked to see her grandfather interrogating her friend. In Chicago her mother pretty much trusted her and her judgement when in came to friends. and now since moving to Landford she felt as though she was on a leash.
"Grandpa Dan, what's going on?"
"just talking to Xander with an X over here. He tells me his bands about to take off has 6k YouTube subscribers - and can I see you in the kitchen please?" Dan says sternly as he points towards the kitchen
"Oh my god! I can't believe this... Aunt Jackie! Xander, just hold on I swear I'll take care of this!"
"Harris just hear him out, I'm behind you and your decisions 100%." Jackie says, grabbing Harris by the sholder.
" Jackie you're not making this easy... could you just butt out a moment? I just want to set some things straight with my granddaughter before she does anything dumb."
"What!?" Harris hissed.
"First of all don't "what" me and second I'd like to be informed when you're bringing complete strangers into My House. Got it?"
"Oh, from what I've heard from Uncle D.J , you didn't mind it when Jerry was sneaking girls in and out of the house all hours of the night, matter of fact he said you would even covered up for him - you know? make sure he 'scored'." Harris said with her arms folded confidently.
"she's got you there Dan, some of the stories I've heard... that boy could get away with murder." Jackie said remembering stories she heard from the other kids.
"thats different Jerry was a boy with football and hockey you know a 'jock' so yeah, he had a lot of girlfriends and if I'd kept him on a leash the guys would've ragged on him. but Harris it's dangerous out there for girls now days. Landford isn't like it was in mine or your Mom's day - I'm just trying to keep you out of trouble."
"oh and by "out of trouble" you mean like getting 'knocked up' or stds? when it comes to that well it's my body and my decision, did you worry about Uncle D.J and Jerry and them 'knocking girls up'?"
"well D.J, I'm just greatfull he found the military ; but as for Jerry... well if he gets himself in trouble he'll step up and pay the consequences."
"Dan, I'm sure she knows about things like protection and prevention... quit making out like women and girls are too absent minded to handle themselves as well as any man can."
"Oh, don't worry about 'protection' because I don't plan on using it because I don't plan on having sex with him I've just met him, and grandpa Dan if you must know we're just going out to see his friends band... now that that is out of the way could you please just let us leave? and really I'm none of your responsibility you know? I do have a mother like the woman who gave birth and raised me so are we through here?"
"First, I am going to watch out for you while you're under this roof and second you and Xander can go... but I want you back at a respectable hour."
"whatever...see ya." Harris shrugged.
Dan and Jackie watched her and Xander go off. but deep down Jackie knew the real issue was Mark and David and how his daughters lives were changed by those 'bad decisions' and he just didn't want the same for Harris, he wanted her to have a chance and make more of herself than them.
"Dan I'm sure she'll be fine. You just got to trust her I mean Chicago is much bigger than landford, and she survived that and I'm sure she can survive this."
"I know Jax, I just don't want her screwing up and being anchored down in Landford for the rest of her life, over some knucklehead guy... I'll be in the basement I'll eat my leftover meatloaf down there tonight."
XXXX
It was past midnight when Darlene got home. She found her Aunt Jackie on the couch watching infomercials while nervously biting her fingernails. Harris was supposed to be back by now, and all Jackie could think about what Dan would do if he woke up and realized she'd not returned... it would be a BIG "I told you so."
"Hey Aunt Jackie, whats wrong?" Darlene said throwing her coat on the recliner.
"Oh nothing, nothing at all - so how was your day, whats new?" Jackie said nervously.
"Jackie, why are you still up, and whats with your face? tell me what's wrong? you know you can't hide it from me... you never could - now spill it!"
"Well - Harris went out and she's not back yet. With this guy from the burger has the band oh Dans gonna kill me."
"you mean she's out with Xander... yeah I know. But why should you be scared of Dad? I'm her mother and I told her she could, I trust my kid."
Just then, Dan comes up from the basement to grab a late night snack from the fridge, and also see if Harris was home seeing it was past 1am.
"Hey kiddo, whats up... and Jackie why that look on your face, Harris OK? " Dan said as he swigged milk from the carton.
"um - well, she's kinda not back just yet but Darlene knew all about it and swears shes OK... Xander's a nice guy Dan she'll be fine... Dan I know what you're gunna say just calm down." Jackie said trying her best to plead with him.
"Dammit Jackie ... I knew it! and Darlene you just let her do what ever the hell she wants... you just let her walk all over you. It isn't like it was out there in your day... have you watched the news lately? It's getting more and more dangerous for kids her age."
"Dad, Jackie! First she's my kid and second she doesn't walk all over me I trust her, don't try to undermine my parenting skills... believe me, if something is wrong... I'll damn sure take care of it!" Darlene said in disbelief as she listened to her fathers fears.
"Darlene... a lot of bad things can happen out there I'm just trying to do whats best. just saying kids need structure... not parenting skills from 'lord of the flies' a mother shouldn't let her damn kid rule the roost... if she was my kid she'd be upstairs in bed safe and miserable just like you kids were."
"oh my God, Dad are you seriously trying 'mansplain' motherhood to me? in case you haven't noticed it was my body she clawed herself out of I think I know how to handle my kids. oh, and I knew how to sneak out... thats how good I was... so I might have a little more insight into the matter... but nice try Dad."
" Now that that's settled everyone calm down Darlene and I will wait up for her, just go back to bed we got this." Aunt Jackie said as tried to keep the peace.
" No Jax, go to bed, I'll wait up for her, and that goes for you too Dad just let Me do My job."
Just as Jackie and Dan walked off to bed, Harris walked through the door which brought Dan right back into the picture.
"Hey Mom what going on why are y'all staring at me like that... you're kinda freaking me out." Harris said trying to go up the stairs when Dan chimed in.
"Harris! where the hell have you been? you should've been back 2 hrs ago!"
"The jam session ran a little long and Me and Xander got some tacos after... what the hell? and if you have any doubts just watch My 'Snapchat story '."
"listen here! when" just then Darlene cut her father off mid sentence.
"Hey Harris, you know what I've told you. when you're going to be late just call, you had Dad and Jackie scared half to death and yeah, me too. go upstairs you're not going out for a week, got it?" Darlene said as she subtlety gazed over at Dan and in the corner peeking Aunt Jackie eavesdropping.
"Yeah whatever... you guys are so lame." Harris said as rolled her eyes.
"first apologize to Grandpa Dan."
"Gawd OK, sorry Grandpa, oh and sorry Aunt Jackie I see you over there snooping... later." Harris said as she huffed back up the stairs.
"OK you two, from now on I'll handle my kids, and if I need your help I'll ask I do appreciate you two a lot but could you please leave the Mom thing to Me? now I'm going to bed and try to get the cigar smell out of my hair... goodnight."
"night slugger, and Darlene... you got it, I'll back off and let you do the mom thing but that doesn't mean I'm not going to be there for my grandkids." Dan said as he walked off towards the basement.
"yeah... thanks Dad. and love you, see you in the morning."
"or what's left of it see you in the morning... and love you too kiddo."
The end.