Author: MegTDJ
Category: Missing scene
Rating: K+
Pairing: Daniel/Sha're, Daniel/Janet friendship
Spoilers: In the Line of Duty
Summary: Missing scene for In the Line of Duty; Daniel and Cassie do some bonding. #7 in the Love Comes Softly series.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1, its universe and its characters are not mine. The story itself is, however, so please don't archive without my permission.
Consolation
"I know how difficult this is for you. I lost my wife to the Goa'uld."
Daniel's heart was heavy as he left Talia's hospital room. It had been exactly a year since Sha're had been taken from him, but it still wasn't easy for him to talk about it. In fact, it was downright painful.
He'd lied about knowing how difficult it was for Talia. He could only imagine what she was going through - she'd been living with a Goa'uld for months and hadn't known it, and now her husband was gone forever. There would never be any sense of closure for her, and no doubt she would spend the rest of her life wondering whether she could have done something to save him.
Somehow this made Daniel feel better. There was still hope for Sha're to be returned to him. He hadn't been living with a stranger all these months. He could only be thankful for that. At the same time, he knew how selfish it was to feel that way, and he hated himself for it.
In short, this encounter had left him feeling very confused.
He paused as he reached the front door of the hospital. Where was he planning to go? He couldn't go back to the base. He just couldn't face that right now, and he might not be allowed back in until the bomb search had been completed anyway. He couldn't just go home, either. Not while Sam was... the way she was. He didn't want it to seem as though he didn't care, because he did care. That was exactly the problem - he cared too much. Yet another person he cared about had been taken away from him, just as he'd predicted.
"I think you guys are quickly turning into my third family. Which makes me a little
afraid..." "Afraid you'll lose this family, too?" Janet finished for him. Daniel shrugged. "That seems to be the way it goes," he said. "Don't let that keep you from allowing yourself to get close to people, Daniel. It isn't
worth that."
Daniel had carried that conversation with him for the past few months, taking Janet's words to heart and trying to relax and enjoy his new "family" as much as he could. For all the good it was doing him now.
Thinking of Janet made him realize he had a third option in where to go. It was more than likely that Cassie was still in Janet's office, probably feeling very scared, confused, and alone. He knew all too well what that was like. Without another thought, he headed for the elevator and made his way to Janet's office to offer the girl some comfort and companionship until her mother was finished work for the day.
Janet's office door was made of frosted glass, so all he could see through it was a small form sitting on the floor on the far side of the room. He knocked lightly on the door before opening it, and poked his head inside.
"Hi, Daniel," Cassie said, looking up from the dominoes she'd scattered across the floor around her to give him a small smile.
"Hey," he said as he stepped into the room. It was only then that he realized that Cassie wasn't alone. Janet was sitting at her desk with a pile of paperwork in front of her.
"Daniel," she said. "What's up?"
"Um... sorry," Daniel said. "I didn't realize you were in here. I just... came to see how Cassie was doing."
"That's very thoughtful of you," Janet said with a smile.
"I'm okay," Cassie said, though her body language said otherwise. She was sitting on one leg with the other propped up in front of her, leaning her cheek against her knee and batting dominoes around with one finger. She looked bored, worried, and miserable.
"I'm glad to hear it." Daniel glanced over at Janet and arched an eyebrow.
Janet just shook her head and motioned for him to come closer to her desk. "Were you talking with Talia?" she asked.
"Yeah," he said as he crossed the room towards her. "She said she didn't notice anything different about her husband," he continued in a low voice, "except that she saw a scar on his neck a few months ago."
"Months?" Janet repeated in surprise.
Daniel nodded.
She seemed to mull this over for a few seconds before she spoke again. "Well, I guess we've seen how good this Goa'uld is at acting normal," she said quietly. "It's a frightening thought."
"Yeah." Daniel shuddered and folded his arms across his chest as if for protection.
"Have you been to see Sam?"
The quick change of subject caught Daniel a little off guard. "I, um... no," he said. "I'm... I'm not going to."
Janet looked surprised and almost disappointed at this reply. "Why not?" she asked. "I'm sure Sam..."
"I know," Daniel interrupted. "I just... I can't. I can't look at her... can't even think about what's happened to her without seeing Sha're's face in my mind."
Janet's expression softened to one of sympathy. "I'm sorry," she said. "But Daniel... I hate to say this, because I know it's hard... but Sam needs you right now. If she's aware of what's going on around her, she needs to know that her friends are backing her up, and she needs that sense of understanding that only you can show her."
Daniel winced and wrapped his arms around himself even tighter. "I know," he said. "I'll... I'll try. Later."
Janet gave him a gentle smile. Then with a quick glance at the clock on her desk, she was back to business. "Listen, I have to get back to my rounds, so if you could stay with Cassie for a little while..."
"Sure," Daniel said, stepping out of her way as she got up and bustled around her desk. "I'll stay for a little while and check on Talia again before I leave."
"Great, thanks." She touched his arm and smiled, and then went over to Cassie. "I'll be back in a few minutes, sweetheart," she said, squatting down beside the girl to kiss her forehead.
Cassie didn't even look up from her haphazard dominoes game. "Okay," she said.
Janet shot a piteous look over at Daniel before she picked up her clipboard and left the room. Daniel knew what that meant - "Help?"
"So..." he said as he sat down on the floor next to Cassie. "What are you doing with these dominoes?"
Cassie shrugged. "Is that what they're called?"
Daniel looked at her in mock astonishment. "You mean, nobody's taught you how to play with these things?"
Cassie shook her head.
"Well, we've gotta fix that." Daniel reached his hands out and scooped all of them towards himself. "There's an actual game you can play with them, but that's boring. This is the fun part." He took a handful of dominoes and started standing them up in a curved row, careful to keep them evenly spaced and to make sure each one of them was steady before moving on to the next.
Cassie watched him with growing curiosity. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"You'll see," Daniel said as he kept on working. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and was pleased to see that she seemed to be coming out of her shell just a little bit. He decided this was as good a time as any. "So, how are you doing with... all of this?"
Cassie stiffened and looked down at the two dominoes she held in her hands. "All of what?" she asked.
"You know what I'm talking about," Daniel said. "The whole... finding-out-Sam's-a-Goa'uld thing."
She was silent for a moment, and then said quietly, "It sucks."
Daniel smiled sadly. "Yeah. It does." He touched her hand and waited until she looked up at him to add, "But we're going to find a way to help her. Okay?"
Cassie sighed and nodded. "I know," she said.
Daniel's heart ached for the girl. Such old eyes should not inhabit the face of a twelve-year-old. He ran his hand over her hair and stroked her cheek with his thumb as he gave her an encouraging smile. Then he went back to work.
Moments later, his domino circle was complete. "Okay," he said, "now for the best part. Pick a domino, any domino, and flick it."
Cassie gave him an odd look, but hesitantly reached out her hand and flicked one of the dominoes. The entire circle collapsed in a graceful wave of black. "That was great!" she cried, clapping her hands and laughing. "Can we do it again?"
Daniel grinned and started collecting all the dominoes in one pile. "Sure we can," he said. "This time you can help me set them up."
"I can give her back to you." "We can't let you go." "I'm not talking about Samantha, Daniel. I'm talking about Sha're. I know where she is." "Tell me." "...I know where she is." "Please, tell me where she is!" "...I know where she is... I know where she is... I know where she is..." "SHA'RE!"
"Daniel!"
Daniel sucked in a deep breath as someone gripped his arm. "What?" He looked up into Cassie's frightened eyes and felt momentarily confused. Where was he? What had just happened?
"You fell asleep," she said, kneeling down beside the couch with her elbows on the cushions.
"I guess I did." Daniel looked around the room and swiped a hand across his face as he tried to get his bearings. He relaxed as the past few hours came back to him - he'd brought Cassie home after visiting Sam at the SGC, put a movie on for her, laid down on the couch, and promptly fell asleep. His glasses were sitting on his chest, so he picked them up and set them on the end table by his head. Then he turned on his side to face Cassie. "Sorry if I scared you," he said.
Cassie shook her head. "You didn't," she said. "You... you get nightmares, too?"
Daniel reached out for her hand. "Yeah, sometimes," he said. "Not as often as I used to. You have them, too?"
Cassie nodded slowly. "I had one of Sam last night," she whispered.
Daniel's heart broke at the sad look on her face. He knew how much Sam meant to Cassie, and over the course of the last two days she'd seen her eyes flash, heard her distorted voice mutter death threats against her, and to top it all off, had then seen her lying broken and traumatized in an infirmary bed. How much more could this young girl take? "They'll get better soon, sweetheart," he said. "I promise."
She didn't respond, just rose to her feet and climbed up onto the couch with him, wrapping her arms around his waist and nestling her head against his shoulder.
Daniel wasn't quite sure how to react. Cassie had hugged and kissed him before, but she'd never climbed up into his lap like she had with Jack, and certainly hadn't ever cuddled up to him like this before. It felt very... domestic. More than that - it felt pretty damn good.
He wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair as he felt her start to relax. Moments later, her breathing fell even. She was fast asleep.
Daniel almost didn't notice when a minute or two later the front door opened and closed and someone walked into the room. Holding a child while she slept was an almost hypnotic experience, he found. It was like the rest of the world had disappeared.
He finally snapped out of his doze and opened his eyes when he realized that someone was standing beside him. "Hey," he said when he saw Janet smiling down at him.
"Hey yourself," she said, bending down to touch Cassie's face. "You two look comfy."
Daniel smiled. "Mm," he said. "She fell asleep."
"So I see."
"Mom?" Cassie said, opening her eyes just a crack as she turned over to look at her mother.
"Hey, sweetie. I think it's time you were in bed, okay?"
Cassie sighed and rubbed her eyes as she sat up. "Okay," she said. "Night, Daniel."
"Night, kiddo." He sat up as Cassie got off the couch and started plodding towards the stairs. He half wished he'd feigned sleep when Janet had come in. Then maybe she would have left them there all night.
"Thanks for looking after her, Daniel," Janet said as she started tidying up the mess they'd made. "I really appreciate it."
"No problem. I'm happy to help, anytime." He yawned and reached for his glasses.
Janet seemed to notice how sleepy he was feeling. "You know, if you want to stay, I can set you up here on the couch..."
Daniel was very tempted to say yes, but the thought of how it would look... "No, thanks," he said, standing up and straightening his clothes. "I have to get home. But thanks."
Janet smiled. "Well, I'd better go see to Cassandra, so... drive carefully," she said.
"Yeah, I will. Thanks."
"Thanks again, Daniel." She gave his arm a quick squeeze, and then left the room.
Daniel sighed as he gathered his things and put on his coat. He could hear Janet and Cassie's voices upstairs, and it created a peculiar ache deep inside him that he couldn't quite define.
It wasn't until he'd quietly left the house and entered his cold, dark car that it hit him - they had what he'd always wanted. As much as he kidded himself that SG-1 were his family, and that Janet and Cassie were, too, it just wasn't the same as having the real thing.
He and Sha're had wanted children. They'd been so happy when, soon after their marriage, they had discovered that she was pregnant. They'd had cause to grieve much too soon when Sha're lost the baby a few weeks later. Now, on the anniversary of Sha're's kidnapping, all he could think about was how old their child would be now, what it might have looked like, and what kind of parents they would have made. Being with Cassie all evening had only made his longing stronger. For a moment, it almost overwhelmed him.
He'd been sitting there lost in thought for a couple of minutes when the door of the house suddenly flew open, and Janet jogged down the front steps. Fearing that something terrible had happened, Daniel quickly rolled down his car window. "Is everything okay?" he asked as she approached the vehicle.
"Yes, fine," she said with a laugh. "Cassie just wanted me to give this to you." She held out a piece of paper of some kind and passed it to him through the open window.
Daniel flicked on the car's interior light and looked down at what he held in his hands. His eyes teared up when he realized what it was.
Cassie had taken a piece of coloured paper, folded it in half in the shape of a card, and drew a picture of a man with longish hair and a dark-skinned woman holding hands with the caption, "Daniel and Sha're." Inside were the words, "I know you'll find her some day. Love, Cassie."
Daniel laughed and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Tell her I..." He choked on what he was going to say, and had to wait a moment for his voice to return. "Tell her thank you," he said.
Janet smiled and laid her hand on his arm. "I know it's small consolation, but... what we've learned through all of this... it's going to make all the difference," she said. "I know it is."
Daniel smiled and nodded. He tried to reply, but found that he couldn't, so he settled for patting her hand instead.
"I'll see you tomorrow," Janet said as she stepped back from the car.
"Yeah," Daniel managed to say. "See you." He rolled his window back up and blinked hard to get the tears out of his eyes. Then he started the car and waved to Janet one last time as he pulled out of the driveway.
He wished he'd said what he'd wanted to say - that it wasn't a small consolation at all. The thought that Sam's suffering might one day lead to finding Sha're was the only thing that was preventing him from going crazy.
Well... perhaps not the only thing. He glanced down at the card again when he stopped at a red light, and couldn't help but smile. Maybe one day he would have a family of his own, but until then, the one he had was just fine.